Psychology of setting goals: is it worth telling others about them?

In one of my latest articles for the SmartProgress blog, I talked about what happens to our brain during procrastination. In the comments, readers began to discuss questions of setting goals and whether it is worthwhile to tell other people about them, so as not to lose their fuse, without reaching their dreams. Therefore, let us today consider this process from the point of view of psychology and try to figure out whether to proclaim to the whole world (or at least a company of friends) about our intentions.

Many coaching and self-improvement programs take it as an axiom that goal setting is a key factor in achieving success. Is it so? And whether the task of a direction vector can always lead us to a positive result? Surprised by the question? Believe me, the answer will surprise you even more. The thing is how the human brain works.

Goal setting is a surprisingly complex process that has powerful effects on the human brain. Knowing the details of this process, you can make it work for you, using the knowledge gained to extract even greater benefits.
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What happens to our brain when we set a goal?

Changes in self-perception

Setting goals has a huge impact on how we begin to perceive ourselves. Why? Because knowing what we want to achieve changes our self-awareness, because our brain is not able to distinguish blue dreams from prosaic reality. What we want, and what we have already achieved, are merged for him in the process of building our personality. In other words, all our dreams become a part of us, goals that have not yet been fulfilled already become a part of our inner “I”.



Sounds scary, doesn't it? But this is exactly what helps us to make our dreams come true, since our imaginary image of ourselves does not correspond to what we actually have - it creates tension, and our brain (even taking into account the above-described pofigism) seeks to establish a balance while working on achieving previously set goals, which led to an imbalance. Therefore, be careful in your dreams - they can come true. Take them seriously, plan and think about them, because they will change not only your life, but also yourself - and this very second.

Dopamine: what child would not play ...

We all have been “sitting” on dopamine for a long time and thoroughly - the hormone of happiness, which begins to be produced with pleasant experiences. And each small achievement on the way to its huge radiant dream brings us satisfaction, and our brain - the opportunity to indulge in a “snack”, that is, another portion of dopamine. The brain rewards us for work, every step to achieve a lost balance between desires and reality will be noticed, and we will get our pay.



This simple chemistry helps us not to lose motivation and stay focused all the way through the thorns to the stars. Moreover, it contributes to our good physical well-being and emotional balance. Therefore, take note of this and break your long-term goals into a number of small tasks - completing each of them will give your brain a stimulus for further work. In this case, do not be afraid to overdo it - the simpler the task, the more dopamine and the desire to move on. Fool your brain!

Carrot and stick

And if dopamine is a gingerbread for the brain, which it gets after it reaches the target, then what happens to it during a failure? It's simple. If we do not cope with the tasks, then the brain does not receive the dopamine they love. And it is not easy. Our brain has become accustomed to the fact that our goal is already its property, it is part of our inner “I”, and if we fail, then it feels robbed. Then a sense of loss is born in the brain, which is accompanied by fear, anxiety and sadness.

Do not forget about this when setting goals. In order not to fall prey to the negative psychological impact that failures, wisely plan your way to a dream, and sensibly assess your capabilities and deadlines. And if you happen to fail, then try to take it philosophically and consider in it a useful experience that you will use in the future for good.

Should I talk about their goals?

This is perhaps the most interesting question in today's article. In search of an answer to it, I happened to shovel the piles of material and read a lot of research reports. The verdict is this: the opinions of scientists are divided. Despite this, one can come to one logical conclusion: the question is not even whether it is worth talking about your dreams and goals, but how and who should talk about them in order for it to help in the implementation of the plan. Nevertheless, I consider it right to highlight one and the other points of view, and then it’s up to whom (and what) you will believe more.

In accordance with some studies, voicing your goals can lead to the fact that you never reach them. What is to blame? No matter how prosaic it sounds, the same chemistry and dopamine we love are the same. When we talk about our goal, it is likely that we receive in response enthusiastic exclamations and comments. We hear approval. And it gives us pleasure - our brain receives its gingerbread only for talking. So why tense up when you can just talk and only get a reward for it?

However, these same studies claim that when we start talking to other people about our plans, the goals that have not been achieved take root in our consciousness, intertwining with our inner “I”. And this is not bad at all, moreover - this is exactly what we need. Now you need to try to outwit yourself, as I will discuss further.

The answer is simple: talk about your goals with those people who can motivate you.

This will not only further unite you with your dream, but also help you come to it faster. The imbalance between reality and fantasy will be felt even more acutely if you make your tasks amenable to measurement. And when someone makes sure that the planned progress corresponds to the actual progress, you feel a greater responsibility.



The research of psychology professor at the University of California, Dr. Gale Mathews, says that people achieve almost twice the best results on the path to success if they write down their goals, break them into small tasks and think about their actions at each stage, then share their plans with other people and systematically send them progress reports (this is the basis of the idea of ​​our service ).

In addition, you will never receive help and support if you do not tell other people about your goals. Setting a common goal can be a very good strategy. You absolutely do not have to go to them yourself. Find friends or like-minded people who are ready to share this path with you, then you will motivate each other. Nowadays, various trainings and coaches are very popular, which help people achieve goals, motivating them. It is important to find people who can not only “stroke the head” for good undertakings, but also give a kick in the ass (also known as the “life-giving Pendel”), if you continue to stand still - a healthy critic has not killed anyone.



In my opinion, the best motivators for us can be the successes of other people, communication with those who make them believe in themselves. In our SmartProgress community, you can find people who have already done what you are planning to undertake. Communication with them, their experience, the prospect of finding new friends and advisers, as well as sharing the results of their own work, energize and desire to break through the thorns to the stars.

Good luck in setting and achieving goals !

I recommend my other posts from our blog:

GTD in English (and not only): a new look at learning foreign languages
What happens to our brain during procrastination?
Parable about how the technique Pomodoro saved the inveterate workaholic

PS I express my gratitude to the user copist for the comment left on my other post, which inspired me to create this material.