Secrets of emergency recovery of self-control

You need to start an important conversation, make a presentation or take a new project: this is the culmination of a long stage of preparation and hard work. But suddenly a hard-won belief in oneself evaporates. In this article, we will tell you how to return confidence in a matter of minutes before the start of a presentation or before an exceptionally important event .

Change your physiology

“When you feel anxious, remember, the degree of heat can be reduced by changing the rhythm of breathing or movements,” says Aziz Gazipura, founder of the Social Center for Confidence in Portland, Oregon. If you are waiting for an interview or are trying to focus on the project, and suddenly you have a thought that failure is inevitable, you just need to go for a walk.
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“If you are in a place where you can do deep breathing exercises or stretch yourself without drawing too much attention, do it,” he says. If this is not possible, sit upright or stand up, take a few deep breaths, try to let go of negative emotions. "The point is to change the situation, remove some of the tension and refocus your attention," explains Aziz.

Praise yourself

“Sometimes we need to inspire ourselves,” says Gasipura. Try to imagine how you would try to encourage your best friend, but talk to yourself and remember all the "evidence" that you are ready for the upcoming event:

- You have prepared.
- You have a successful experience or at least training, knowledge and desire to work.

He says that the pronunciation of a proper name, oddly enough, makes the practice even more effective. “You really should start talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend, trying to inspire him or mark his strengths as a person you really believe in. You have to do this for yourself, mentally or aloud - the last option will make the exercise even more useful, ”says Gasipura.

Focus on your worth

“Sometimes we interpret a situation in such a way that self-importance is underestimated,” says expert Joe Rubino, general director of the Center for Personal Transformation in Boxford, Massachusetts. The solution is to focus on what you really are.

Speaking or giving a presentation, remember that you provide valuable information and possible solutions, without trying to impose value or impress someone. When working on a complex project, remember that you are providing a valuable service. Having assessed your potential and diligence in your work, you will see both yourself and your work in a different light.

Be able to put yourself in the shoes of others.

“In situations where your self-confidence suffers because someone has said something, strangely enough, the ability to put yourself in the place of another person can help restore self-control,” notes Rubino. Spend one minute and think about what it is like to be in the place of another person. Why is he or she so negative ? What is it like to see the world in such tones? Immediately it will become clear that the matter is not at all in you.

“The ability to put ourselves in the place of others allows us to step back from deeds and words that undermine self-confidence. By asking yourself what is happening in a person’s life, what makes him do it, you make life itself an exercise for personal growth, ”says Rubino.

Set a great goal

“When you work for something more, in the name of purpose or faith , confidence crises are overcome more easily,” says Rubino. Why is this so important to you? What is the great goal behind your efforts? Focusing on such issues, you will see a much broader picture - it will be less about you and your goals, and more about the realization of a more significant idea that can give courage.

Release your expectations

“Sometimes we wind ourselves up badly because we focus on a high result, which is simply beyond our control. You cannot predict how people will respond to your message, whether they like your work, ”says Aziz Gazipura.

What you can do for sure is to focus on your strengths, recall your experience and the evidence that you are suitable for this job. You can control the quality of work performed. Turn your attention to doing the current task in the best possible way, and stop thinking about how it will all end.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - 7 unexpected things that can help you calm down .

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult .