How to disable internal criticism and ignore the desire for excellence?

Perfectionism or striving for perfection very often does not help us at all, but, on the contrary, tie hands and oppresses . In this article, Lisa Evans, will tell you how to turn off this inner voice, which constantly does not like something.

Nowadays, many people are required to do as much as possible in the shortest possible time, to be available within 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, and also to constantly increase their workload. It is not surprising that all this develops a sense of perfectionism in us.

Many psychological studies have shown that the constant pursuit of excellence can lead to health problems, including depression, stress , problems in personal relationships and, as a result, low productivity. Therefore, it would not hurt us all to take a fresh look at a habit like perfectionism.
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Psychologist and physiotherapist, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, author of Better Than Ideal, argues that some aspects of make-up can be positive for us. No one will argue that striving for perfection is a good motivation to succeed, and the problem of this habit is contained in the “all or nothing” mentality. “The result can be perfectly perfect or a complete failure. And if it didn’t work out perfectly, it means that I’m a loser ”- Dr. Lombardo describes the way of thinking of perfectionists in this way.

You can fight perfectionism only by silencing your inner voice, which constantly criticizes us and tells us about the imperfection of our actions. Lombardo offers four tips for overcoming this internal critic:

1. Change your motivation

Although the critic sitting inside us may seem to some of the driving force that pushes us to achieve more , Lombardo says that the problem with the inner voice is the negative it emits and the heightening of fear. By changing our motivation, each of us can tune in not to the fact that your failure will fail, but, for example, to strive to ensure that even in this case you not only correct your mistakes, but also achieve more than you intended. And, if you have a positive stimulating effect, then an internal critic will no longer be needed.

2. Learn to recognize your inner critic

Many people do not even notice the voice inside them, to which they are so accustomed that they are not even aware of its existence. Although it is not so difficult to notice its influence on us. To do this, pay attention, for example, to your behavior when meeting with someone. If at the same time you sweat palms, and the stomach is tied with a knot, you should think about what exactly causes such emotions.

Positive motivation and self-confidence always leads to a better result than the fear of failure. Only in this way can you help yourself and drown out your critic.

Does your boss sitting at the table look so unhappy? Or is it all the same “inner critic” that whispers in your ear that you should be dismissed for a spoiled project? Once you know what causes such thoughts, you can easily control them.

3. Consider failure as a source of information.

Any, even the most insignificant error can have a paralyzing effect on a perfectionist. All misses he interprets as a complete failure. Lombardo advises such people to consider mistakes not a complete failure, but a means to obtain new information. Thus, having made, for example, a presentation, but not having received for it the deserved recognition due to the reorientation of the company's activities, you will no longer blame yourself for failures and assume that you will never achieve your goals. On the contrary, you will be able to use all the new information so that the next presentation will be on top.

A similar rule is used in their work by journalists. Do not judge the situation in advance, ask and find out, draw conclusions and use all the data obtained in order to move on. Considering failure as an opportunity to receive new information and experience, you can later turn it into a victory.

4. Do not strive for the ideal

Many perfectionists look at the world based on the “all or nothing” principle. If they do not have enough time to practice in the gym, such people can completely stop monitoring their physical fitness. Considering that his report is far from perfect, the perfectionist would refuse to show it to anyone at all and let his colleagues down. The pursuit of the ideal often leads to the postponement of his work for later and even to its complete breakdown. Lombardo calls to overcome such desires, trying not to be perfectly perfect, but just to do everything right and good.

Yes, not everybody will be able to devote a whole hour to sports every day. However, everyone can walk around their quarter for 15 minutes. The report may also be imperfect, but its timely presentation would be a better option than the final disruption of work. By taking steps in the right direction and marking your small victories, you can make your inner voice no longer criticize, but say that you are on the right path.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - Zen Early Awakenings: 10 ways to consolidate the morning ritual.

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult