6 habits of self-confident people

Fearless children often turn into insecure adults. How do people manage to maintain self-confidence, despite the defeat ? In this article, Stephanie Vozza will talk about habits that are typical of all self-confident people.

When my son was 4 years old, he wore a superhero cloak. All the time. I remember very well the trip to the Home Depot repair shop when he was wearing shorts and a shirt, cowboy boots, swimming goggles, gardening gloves and a raincoat. And although he drew the amazed glances of those around him, he still calmly stomped through the store, confident in himself and his outfit.
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Many of us grow out of children's ideals, but why do we often also leave behind the feeling of confidence that accompanied us then?

Self-doubt is not uncommon - especially among women - and for many this feeling is permanent. A study of British scientists from the Leadership and Management Institute found that 50% of female respondents and 31% of men did not feel confident about work and career.

“We were born with the ability to be the best, to be who we really are,” says Jen Cinsero, author of “You are a hero: how to stop doubting your exclusivity and start living an amazing life . ” “But then we listen to the opinions that exist in our fear-based society, and we are slaughtered. To be self-confident means to remove the husks of doubt, fear, and torment, and return to your essence. Self-confident people understood how to return to their true self. ”

Katie Kay and Kleir Shipman, co-authors of the book “Confidence Code: the science and art of self-confidence - what women should know,” believe that self-confidence is not just a world perception. “We spent a lot of time trying to define confidence, because we felt that it would be easier to develop a topic, knowing what it is,” they wrote in the book. “In the end, we came to the conclusion that confidence is a factor that makes life itself possible - this is the quality that turns thoughts into actions.”

Acquiring self-confidence requires practice, well-considered risk, and changes in the way of thinking , say Kay, Shipman and Cinsero. The following are 6 habits that are typical of all self-confident people.

1. They force themselves out of the comfort zone.

Nothing helps to become more self-confident, like an action, especially when an action involves the risk of failure, according to Kay and Shipman. Confident people start small and continue to act until they begin to feel more confident in the performance of this task.

"Nerves - this is normal, this happens with everyone," write Kay and Shipman. The difference between a confident and insecure person is simply that a confident person acts in accordance with his ambitions and desires and does not allow the fear of defeat to stop him. "

2. They look at defeat as a given

Confident people are not protected from defeat, but instead of allowing themselves to be defeated, they treat failure as a reflection.

"This is another notch in the lineup of their experience and proof that they have begun to move in the direction they want to go," says Cinsero. “Confident people are grateful to the experience for the lesson that allowed them to adjust their course.”
It is not the strongest species that survive, but those that can better adapt, say Kay and Shipman.

3. They control their speech

Sinsero emphasizes that self-confident people do not speak ill about themselves. Instead, they question their doubts. “Instead of believing that an idea is 100% true (for example, the feeling“ I am a loser ”), they understand that they have allowed themselves to believe in something that is not absolutely true, and added their own feelings to this postulate,” says the author.

Kay and Shipman call it getting rid of US (Negative Automatic Thoughts): “Women are especially predisposed to US. We think that we made one small mistake, and then we think about it for hours ... and this kills our self-confidence. "

To get rid of us, co-authors advise you to recall the three good things you did for every negative thought. With constant use, this method will help you eliminate the habit of thinking badly about yourself.

4. They take responsibility

“Instead of feeling like a victim of circumstances, confident people take responsibility for the situation and do something to change it,” Cinsero says.

“They do not blame their parents or others, but they take responsibility and change what stands in the way of achieving their goals,” the author points out.

5. They seek inspiration and advice.

Cinsero stresses that confident people read books, take courses, practice meditation and find coaches and teachers who have succeeded in what they want to do.

“If you are confident, then you do not feel uncomfortable, allowing others to see your weaknesses, and thus opening up to learn new things from other people,” she says. "Unconfident people stay where they were, because they are afraid to admit their weaknesses."

6. They use power poses

If you sit up straight, it will give you a short-term influx of confidence, explains Kay and Shipman. Collaborators are advised to keep the press and raised chin, what they call "a surprisingly simple way, used very rarely."

Also try nodding your head: “By doing this, you will feel more confident when you speak — and also you send a subconscious signal that encourages other people to agree with you.”

PS We recommend another article on the topic - Daily 60 seconds and one word can reduce stress.

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult