How to make connections, as if you really know what you are doing

In this article, Laura Schwartz, a former White House insider, will talk about how to find something to chat about with the best people at the party .

Oprah did it, and so can you. It's time to leave a comfortable corner suite, room, garage, coffee shop, main office and go out into the world and broadcast.
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The host of the AM Chicago television channel, Oprah Winfrey, in the mid-80s went on a date at Hamburger Hamlet with film critic Roger Ebert and made the most important professional decision in her life.

She had two job opportunities in the media, and she did not know which way to take. Should we be safe and conclude an agreement with the ABC channel, which offered her to conduct her show and broadcast it at ABC stations owned and operated by the channel throughout the country. Or should she cooperate with King World, who will try to sell her show on every market in the country to different branches? After Roger sketched a list of pros and cons right on the napkin at the table, Oprah decided to make a deal with King World, and the rest is history.

Oprah was not in the studio or in the meeting room when she had to make perhaps the most important decision in her life . She had lunch and talked in an informal setting. We all do it. Why not make it better?

If I learned something in the White House for eight years during the Clinton administration, it is that any social interaction is an opportunity to find new relationships that can turn into a partnership, and ideas that can come to life. Whether you are an entrepreneur, an industrial tycoon, or a college graduate, every day is an opportunity to grow and create a personal brand through networking. Here are five tips for how to do it better:

1. Ask yourself: “Is it social talk or my talk?”

Office jokes the day after the party are not funny if you can't remember them. If after a glass of booze you feel more relaxed, drink it. Just be careful with three or more glasses. Alternatively, drink water or ask you to pour something less strong. We all know this, but it's amazing how often we can just forget or get nervous and grab hold of an extra glass. But the boss, a colleague or an entrepreneur can note for yourself how you conduct yourself outside the office.

2. Always come prepared

Business cards are inexpensive to make, so keep them and use them. It doesn't matter how technically savvy you are and who you are trying to impress by hammering contacts into your phone, the process of exchanging business cards is something tangible and this is the first step towards many future deals.

3. Exit comfort zone

Whether you are with potential customers, colleagues or friends - meet new people and rotate outside of your nearest social circles. Never predict in advance when the next conversation will happen that will change your life.

The first lady, Jackie Kennedy, had a rule in the White House: invited guests could bring another person with them, but had to sit at different tables during lunch. It was her way to engage them in conversation.

Representing the different personalities of your company, you will make the dialogues more intense, and people will undoubtedly appreciate the chance to expand their social horizons.

4. Find out everything in advance.

There is a fine line between making contacts and stalking, but a small investigation before the event is necessary. When you reply to the invitation, ask who else will come or view the list of email addresses on e-vite. Enter the names of these people on Facebook and see what they post, and on LinkedIn check out their education and experience, with a news feed on Twitter and interests on Pinterest.

You can connect with someone even before you meet, which will translate into meaningful conversation. Just do not forget to organically use the information you received in the conversation - you do not want to frighten a stranger by calling his three children by name and asking how they are doing.

5. Listen

Larry King once said: “I never learned anything new when I spoke,” and he was right! It is better to impress someone by showing an interest in people than to talk too much about yourself. This is your opportunity to gather information and find out how you can be useful to them. In the end, you can support people just by listening to them - and this can be your gift in itself.

Follow these five tips, and your contact base will grow as fast as your business opportunity. No matter how loud your name is, you will make an impression, grow yourself and grow your business at the same time if you just start to get out of the office!

Laura Schwartz is a former event director at the White House (under the Clinton Administration), who quickly climbed the top of her career, going from a stenographer, a spokeswoman for Midwest, a television director to an event director at the White House. Today, Laura is an author, a member of the board of the organization Clean the World, organizations of the American Heart Association and Common Threads, and also an active speaker at the Eagles Talent Speakers Bureau.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - How successful people cope with their toxic opponents .

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult