If carpenters were hired the same way as programmers

Interviewer: So you consider yourself a carpenter?
Carpenter: That's right. This is exactly what I do.

Interviewer: How long have you been doing this?
Carpenter: Ten years.

Interviewer: Very good. And now I would like to ask you a few technical questions in order to assess how you fit into our team. Agreed?
Carpenter: Of course it would be nice.
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Interviewer: I must tell you that we are working in a division engaged in the construction of a large number of brown houses. Have you ever built lots of brown houses?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter - I build houses, and people already paint them as they wish.

Interviewer: Yes, I understand, but could you tell me how much experience you have with brown ones? Well, give or take.
Carpenter: I really have no idea. From the moment the house is built, I do not care what color it is painted. Maybe six months?

Interviewer: Six months? Actually, we are looking for someone with a much more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.
Carpenter: Okay. But, you know, painting is painting.

Interviewer: Yes, yes, good. What about Nut?
Carpenter: What about him?

Interviewer: Have you worked a lot with a walnut tree?
Carpenter: Of course. Walnut, pine, oak, mahogany - anything.

Interviewer: But how many years have you worked with Walnut?
Carpenter: I don’t know, damn it. Am I supposed to count every board?

Interviewer: Well, at least approximately?
Carpenter: Well, then I would say that I have a year and a half of experience working with a walnut tree.

Interviewer: But you are not a nutty guru?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter - I work with any types of wood, which, of course, have some differences, but I think that if you are a good carpenter ...

Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we use a walnut tree. This is normal?
Carpenter: Walnut is beautiful! Whatever you want, I'm a carpenter.

Interviewer: What about Black Nut?
Carpenter: What about him?

Interviewer: We had several nut carpenters, but then it turned out by chance that they were not carpenters for the black walnut. Do you have experience with it?
Carpenter: Of course, a bit. I guess it would be nice to have more experience for my resume.

Interviewer: Okay. Let me check the list of questions.
Carpenter: Yes please.

Interviewer: So, the last question for today. We use Stone 5.1 for nailing. Did you use Stone 5.1?
Carpenter: [turning pale ...] Well, I know that a lot of carpenters started using stones to hammer in nails when Craftsman bought a quarry, but, to be honest, I do it much better with my nail. Or a hammer if you want. It seems to me that when I use a stone, I too often hit myself on the fingers, while the other hand hurts a lot, because the stone is too heavy.

Interviewer: But other companies use stones. You want to say that the stones do not work?
Carpenter: No, I'm not really saying that the stones do not work. I just think that nail guns work better.

Interviewer: All our architects began to use stones and they liked it.
Carpenter: I don’t argue, but I hammer nails all day and - well, listen, I need a job, so I'm definitely ready to use stones if you want.

Interviewer: Ok. We have a few more candidates; we will contact you when we make a decision.
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. It was nice to talk to you.

THE NEXT DAY

The call ...

Interviewer: Hello?
Carpenter: Hello! Remember me? I am the carpenter you interviewed for a black walnut tree. I just wanted to know if you made the decision.

Interviewer: Actually accepted. In general, we like your experience, but we decided to take someone who worked more with brown.
Carpenter: Really? And it's all? I wasn’t taken to work because I don’t have enough experience with brown?

Interviewer: Well, this is only half true. Partly, we took the other guy, because he is a lot cheaper.
Carpenter: Really? And how much experience does he have?

Interviewer: Well, he’s not exactly a carpenter, he’s a car salesman. However, he sold a lot of brown cars and worked with walnut trim.
Carpenter: [short beeps]

From the translator: a very free translation that does not claim to be accurate.