Development speed
"Explain to me what this garbage!"
Alice, a new employee, threw a stack of documents to Jimmy on the keyboard, and hung over him, arms folded.
He pressed "cancel" and looked at the documents. It was a complete description of the “high importance” ERP-system - a new initiative of managers, for which they were generously rewarded, requiring programmers to “invest” in their own work.
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“For the first project, it’s very ambitious,” he said. “Maybe we should start with a simpler task to first learn our code?”
"I worked with a computer as much as someone with your" knowledge "," Alice snapped, "You should not underestimate me, as the goats did in their previous work."
“My apologies,” answered Jimmy, who didn’t want to be the goat who refused to help newcomers. “So what's your problem?”
“With this,” she said, laying out the documents on his desk. “Everything is written in some stupid cipher. How can I fill it if there is no meaning in it? ”
He blinked, puzzled. She showed printouts of the current system code. Maybe she did not use VB before? “What language did you use in previous work?”
"Needless to English" - she grinned.
Jimmy grinned, but seeing how her stern and pale face was becoming even stricter, he realized that she was not joking.
“What do you think, if I was a secretary, and I was forced to speak Mexican, I forgot American?”
"What? No! ”Said Jimmy, raising his hands. "I meant, did you use Java?" Pearl? What computer programming language did you use? ”
"Programming language? Not everyone is obliged to understand your abstruse terms for ordinary words, ”she snapped. "I enjoyed Excel."
Jimmy blinked. Of course, it is not his business to determine someone's qualifications, but did the management really hire her as a programmer? However, the master who blames the instruments is bad. Now she is in his team, which means her problems and his problems too.
“Well ... did you use macros?” He asked.
"Of course!"
“Well ... In general, if you coped with them, you can program. VeBe is like Excel, but the other ... "
He showed her in VB an analogue of a macro that she knew, and to those whom she did not know either. He showed her how to access the repository, create a new project, manage graphics and work with the appropriate code, explained the syntax and structure of VB and told how to commit the code upon completion.
In this project, he worked many times more than in any other, but they completed it on time and did not lose the prizes.
He did not meet his schedule, but it took only a few days of unpaid processing to be in time. Of course, it was all worth it to get one more working hands to help.
For about a month, Jimmy watched Alice’s code. And it was a lot. Although she skipped the project after the project, her code was not completely perfect. He blamed it on the venial fears of a junior developer. He corrected something and rewrote, leaving detailed comments. Of these, he created a wonderful guide and sent it to Alice along with a few tips on how she could improve her work.
A minute later, she pounced on him.
“Stop putting your name above what I have been doing for so long!” She said ominously.
“I just added a few helpful comments and corrections,” said Jimmy soothingly. "Just to make sure everything works exactly as it should."
“Don't even try to take away my prize. I finally began to earn as much as I deserve, and all you did was change a couple of thousand lines! ”
"A couple of lines" actually made the code not just compiled, but working. A typical novice mistake, but he himself was once a novice. “Just doing my job: I see that everything is in order,” he said calmly, trying to cheer her up.
“I don't need this,” she said. “Have you seen productivity reports?” You always lag behind me. I don’t understand how you ever managed to do anything before my arrival! ”
“Actually, I can do more when I do only my work,” his cool tone began to fade. "But if so, if we work in a team, from now on, think for yourself how your talents can be useful for the whole team."
She nodded: "You know, I will do that."
When he came to work on Monday, he was not surprised to see Alice packing.
"If you need recommendations ..." Jimmy began.
She waved it off. "I do not need. I now understand that the amount of work I do is what all the rest should strive for. The management also thinks so, now I'm a new development manager, and I will put this poorhouse in order. ”
Jimmy ran the dock file. He did not know why this code was needed, but there was a lot of it. He looked at the scruffy fat man, one of the new ones hired by Alice. “If you want me to look at your code, use WeBe files, not the doc, okay?”
"In fact, I have a certificate for Word," snapped the new one and folded his arms.
"Just ..." - he decided not to pay attention. “Just use Visual Studio. Good?"
Jimmy watched him go. He hardly recognized the office. Where his colleagues used to sit, there were empty tables or unfamiliar personalities, with badges from a recruiting company that hired Alice.
His observations were interrupted by one of the newcomers who came to be nearby.
"Listen, and where to get the key to the 2005 studio?"
"Um ... We use two thousand," said Jimmy. The manual has always relied on software released after two thousand years.
"Damn, I found only a torrent with two thousand and five, and keygen does not work."
Jimmy got up and, not even locha computer, went to Alice's office. He closed the door behind him.
“If we don’t hire programmers,” he went straight to the point. "We do not have time to deadline."
“Stop hysteria,” she quit, launching a new solitaire. "I called my personnel agency."
He could swear that he said about "programmers". “Maybe we should separate ways of hiring? Try another agency? ”
"From these I received a volume discount."
"But I am sure that those you hired do not have all the necessary skills."
“Skills ?!” she shut the laptop. “I'm not going to spend the company money on all kinds of nonsense. Elitists, like you, want to hog themselves all decent places, hiding behind bundles of certificates, but I did it without having any! ”
“Although it surprises me that you have grown to this position,” said Jimmy in a calm and diplomatic tone of a serial killer. "I think that investing in people with several years of programming experience is more competent and will allow us to save at least on training."
“What kind of training? You yourself said that all this is like Excel. This work, if you don’t powder anybody’s brains, is nothing more than data entry. They can print, so they can program faster and better. ”
Having listened, Jimmy used all his programming skills to write a resume - as quickly and better as possible.
Alice, a new employee, threw a stack of documents to Jimmy on the keyboard, and hung over him, arms folded.
He pressed "cancel" and looked at the documents. It was a complete description of the “high importance” ERP-system - a new initiative of managers, for which they were generously rewarded, requiring programmers to “invest” in their own work.
')
“For the first project, it’s very ambitious,” he said. “Maybe we should start with a simpler task to first learn our code?”
"I worked with a computer as much as someone with your" knowledge "," Alice snapped, "You should not underestimate me, as the goats did in their previous work."
“My apologies,” answered Jimmy, who didn’t want to be the goat who refused to help newcomers. “So what's your problem?”
“With this,” she said, laying out the documents on his desk. “Everything is written in some stupid cipher. How can I fill it if there is no meaning in it? ”
He blinked, puzzled. She showed printouts of the current system code. Maybe she did not use VB before? “What language did you use in previous work?”
"Needless to English" - she grinned.
Jimmy grinned, but seeing how her stern and pale face was becoming even stricter, he realized that she was not joking.
“What do you think, if I was a secretary, and I was forced to speak Mexican, I forgot American?”
"What? No! ”Said Jimmy, raising his hands. "I meant, did you use Java?" Pearl? What computer programming language did you use? ”
"Programming language? Not everyone is obliged to understand your abstruse terms for ordinary words, ”she snapped. "I enjoyed Excel."
Jimmy blinked. Of course, it is not his business to determine someone's qualifications, but did the management really hire her as a programmer? However, the master who blames the instruments is bad. Now she is in his team, which means her problems and his problems too.
“Well ... did you use macros?” He asked.
"Of course!"
“Well ... In general, if you coped with them, you can program. VeBe is like Excel, but the other ... "
He showed her in VB an analogue of a macro that she knew, and to those whom she did not know either. He showed her how to access the repository, create a new project, manage graphics and work with the appropriate code, explained the syntax and structure of VB and told how to commit the code upon completion.
In this project, he worked many times more than in any other, but they completed it on time and did not lose the prizes.
He did not meet his schedule, but it took only a few days of unpaid processing to be in time. Of course, it was all worth it to get one more working hands to help.
For about a month, Jimmy watched Alice’s code. And it was a lot. Although she skipped the project after the project, her code was not completely perfect. He blamed it on the venial fears of a junior developer. He corrected something and rewrote, leaving detailed comments. Of these, he created a wonderful guide and sent it to Alice along with a few tips on how she could improve her work.
A minute later, she pounced on him.
“Stop putting your name above what I have been doing for so long!” She said ominously.
“I just added a few helpful comments and corrections,” said Jimmy soothingly. "Just to make sure everything works exactly as it should."
“Don't even try to take away my prize. I finally began to earn as much as I deserve, and all you did was change a couple of thousand lines! ”
"A couple of lines" actually made the code not just compiled, but working. A typical novice mistake, but he himself was once a novice. “Just doing my job: I see that everything is in order,” he said calmly, trying to cheer her up.
“I don't need this,” she said. “Have you seen productivity reports?” You always lag behind me. I don’t understand how you ever managed to do anything before my arrival! ”
“Actually, I can do more when I do only my work,” his cool tone began to fade. "But if so, if we work in a team, from now on, think for yourself how your talents can be useful for the whole team."
She nodded: "You know, I will do that."
When he came to work on Monday, he was not surprised to see Alice packing.
"If you need recommendations ..." Jimmy began.
She waved it off. "I do not need. I now understand that the amount of work I do is what all the rest should strive for. The management also thinks so, now I'm a new development manager, and I will put this poorhouse in order. ”
Jimmy ran the dock file. He did not know why this code was needed, but there was a lot of it. He looked at the scruffy fat man, one of the new ones hired by Alice. “If you want me to look at your code, use WeBe files, not the doc, okay?”
"In fact, I have a certificate for Word," snapped the new one and folded his arms.
"Just ..." - he decided not to pay attention. “Just use Visual Studio. Good?"
Jimmy watched him go. He hardly recognized the office. Where his colleagues used to sit, there were empty tables or unfamiliar personalities, with badges from a recruiting company that hired Alice.
His observations were interrupted by one of the newcomers who came to be nearby.
"Listen, and where to get the key to the 2005 studio?"
"Um ... We use two thousand," said Jimmy. The manual has always relied on software released after two thousand years.
"Damn, I found only a torrent with two thousand and five, and keygen does not work."
Jimmy got up and, not even locha computer, went to Alice's office. He closed the door behind him.
“If we don’t hire programmers,” he went straight to the point. "We do not have time to deadline."
“Stop hysteria,” she quit, launching a new solitaire. "I called my personnel agency."
He could swear that he said about "programmers". “Maybe we should separate ways of hiring? Try another agency? ”
"From these I received a volume discount."
"But I am sure that those you hired do not have all the necessary skills."
“Skills ?!” she shut the laptop. “I'm not going to spend the company money on all kinds of nonsense. Elitists, like you, want to hog themselves all decent places, hiding behind bundles of certificates, but I did it without having any! ”
“Although it surprises me that you have grown to this position,” said Jimmy in a calm and diplomatic tone of a serial killer. "I think that investing in people with several years of programming experience is more competent and will allow us to save at least on training."
“What kind of training? You yourself said that all this is like Excel. This work, if you don’t powder anybody’s brains, is nothing more than data entry. They can print, so they can program faster and better. ”
Having listened, Jimmy used all his programming skills to write a resume - as quickly and better as possible.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/285358/
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