Instructions for using the freelancer
It is rather in the section of humor, but I think it’s worth reading to everyone - as they say, “on the topic of the day.
1. Need TK.
2. No, without TK I can’t say how much it will cost and whether I will take it.
3. TK is not only the name of what needs to be done.
4. Yes, you must specify the date.
5. I beg you, FOREVER FORGET the phrase "the sooner the better."
6. “As you can” is also not a term. I can in five years. It is unlikely that it will suit you :-)
7. On phrases on ICQ “now I will send a new order” - I can growl.
8. My email check is configured for every 10 minutes. No chance to miss a letter.
9. The phrase “Sent a new order” should be written after reference, but not before :-)
10. If the order does not require completion within an hour, why remind you of the reply to the letter every 5 minutes? I will answer as soon as possible. Ever been different?
11. Each answer “Normally” to the question “Well, how are things?” Extends the delivery time of the finished order by about 30 seconds and spoils the karma to the customer.
12. Requiring another answer to the question “Well, how are things there?” Extends the time limit for sending the finished order by at least 5 minutes and spoils the karma to the customer.
13. The karma of some customers is already like a sieve :-)
14. I take money for my time, not just for the amount of work.
15. My time is not cheaper than the time of other specialists of my level.
16. I can't read minds.
17. I CAN'T READ THOUGHTS.
18. If the customer was thinking about something, but he was silent - this is not a “freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
19. Changes in the TK after sending the order - this is not a “freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
20. Mediators - most often, evil.
21. If the intermediary forgot to transfer some details to the freelancer - this is not “the freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
22. Expensive - do not order.
23. Expensive - do not order.
24. EXPENSIVE - DO NOT ORDER.
25. Do you REALLY hope to convince me that “it costs less because it’s a trifle”?
26. Why then do not do it yourself?
27. This is not my first order. And not even the hundredth. Maybe enough already bargain? :-)
28. Yes, sometimes I do not take orders, simply because I do not like them.
29. Without this order, I will not die of hunger.
30. If a third party accepts the order, the comments of the intermediary do not interest me.
31. Not interested.
32. DO NOT INTEREST.
33. By the way, how many such tasks did the mediator himself do? Well, a link to the portfolio.
34. “Everything is wrong !!!!!” is not a complaint. This is hysterical.
35. The ideal format for claims is “Correct line 4 on page 16, put“ b ”instead of“ a ”.”
36. Yes, I work not only with you :-)
37. And also I have a lot of familiar freelancers of my profile.
38. Therefore, if you confirmed my order and continue to search for “where it is cheaper”, you can get on the black list with a lot of people. And it's great to spoil your karma.
39. No, I can not send a finished order today, if the term is the day after tomorrow.
40. No, I'm not online around the clock. I, like all homo sapiens, eat, sleep and go to the toilet. And I do it in the appropriate places, and not in front of the monitor.
41. No, I do not fulfill programming orders if I am a psychologist. And vice versa too.
42. Do not perform. I do not perform. I do not perform.
43. In principle, of course, I can fulfill, I do not mind. And for the consequences are not afraid? :-)
44. If we once worked with you, this is not a reason for emotional outpouring at three in the morning.
45. I do not check other people's work.
46. I do not modify the order according to the comments of the left person who checked my work.
47. If another SMS “sent a new order for soap” comes to me again at 2 am, I will send your email to the blacklist. :-)
48. Before calling me with questions, did I send what was required, check the mail and read the new letters
Found on web.zavtra.com.ua/index.php?page/freelancemanual and sigitova-kate.livejournal.com/483172.html
')
A similar instruction about translators to read here - sertoun.livejournal.com/959453.html
1. Need TK.
2. No, without TK I can’t say how much it will cost and whether I will take it.
3. TK is not only the name of what needs to be done.
4. Yes, you must specify the date.
5. I beg you, FOREVER FORGET the phrase "the sooner the better."
6. “As you can” is also not a term. I can in five years. It is unlikely that it will suit you :-)
7. On phrases on ICQ “now I will send a new order” - I can growl.
8. My email check is configured for every 10 minutes. No chance to miss a letter.
9. The phrase “Sent a new order” should be written after reference, but not before :-)
10. If the order does not require completion within an hour, why remind you of the reply to the letter every 5 minutes? I will answer as soon as possible. Ever been different?
11. Each answer “Normally” to the question “Well, how are things?” Extends the delivery time of the finished order by about 30 seconds and spoils the karma to the customer.
12. Requiring another answer to the question “Well, how are things there?” Extends the time limit for sending the finished order by at least 5 minutes and spoils the karma to the customer.
13. The karma of some customers is already like a sieve :-)
14. I take money for my time, not just for the amount of work.
15. My time is not cheaper than the time of other specialists of my level.
16. I can't read minds.
17. I CAN'T READ THOUGHTS.
18. If the customer was thinking about something, but he was silent - this is not a “freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
19. Changes in the TK after sending the order - this is not a “freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
20. Mediators - most often, evil.
21. If the intermediary forgot to transfer some details to the freelancer - this is not “the freelancer nakosyachil”, but a paid finishing touch.
22. Expensive - do not order.
23. Expensive - do not order.
24. EXPENSIVE - DO NOT ORDER.
25. Do you REALLY hope to convince me that “it costs less because it’s a trifle”?
26. Why then do not do it yourself?
27. This is not my first order. And not even the hundredth. Maybe enough already bargain? :-)
28. Yes, sometimes I do not take orders, simply because I do not like them.
29. Without this order, I will not die of hunger.
30. If a third party accepts the order, the comments of the intermediary do not interest me.
31. Not interested.
32. DO NOT INTEREST.
33. By the way, how many such tasks did the mediator himself do? Well, a link to the portfolio.
34. “Everything is wrong !!!!!” is not a complaint. This is hysterical.
35. The ideal format for claims is “Correct line 4 on page 16, put“ b ”instead of“ a ”.”
36. Yes, I work not only with you :-)
37. And also I have a lot of familiar freelancers of my profile.
38. Therefore, if you confirmed my order and continue to search for “where it is cheaper”, you can get on the black list with a lot of people. And it's great to spoil your karma.
39. No, I can not send a finished order today, if the term is the day after tomorrow.
40. No, I'm not online around the clock. I, like all homo sapiens, eat, sleep and go to the toilet. And I do it in the appropriate places, and not in front of the monitor.
41. No, I do not fulfill programming orders if I am a psychologist. And vice versa too.
42. Do not perform. I do not perform. I do not perform.
43. In principle, of course, I can fulfill, I do not mind. And for the consequences are not afraid? :-)
44. If we once worked with you, this is not a reason for emotional outpouring at three in the morning.
45. I do not check other people's work.
46. I do not modify the order according to the comments of the left person who checked my work.
47. If another SMS “sent a new order for soap” comes to me again at 2 am, I will send your email to the blacklist. :-)
48. Before calling me with questions, did I send what was required, check the mail and read the new letters
Found on web.zavtra.com.ua/index.php?page/freelancemanual and sigitova-kate.livejournal.com/483172.html
')
A similar instruction about translators to read here - sertoun.livejournal.com/959453.html
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/28114/
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