A brief history of Bitcoin Blockchain for dummies. Tale for adults

Hi Habr, today is Sunday, which means we can relax a bit, and read my first post, my fairy tale for adults about how the Bitcoin system appeared, almost from an eyewitness. Moreover, I am often asked why I don’t like Bitcoin and I don’t want to participate in the general blockchain vanilla PR marathon.
So.

There was such a joking cool guy called his Steve. Steve came up with a cool computer - beautiful and white. In essence, he was no different from the computer of another cool guy named Bill, but he was handsome and white.
')
Like many other good people, very quickly Steve was cut out from his own company and sent into oblivion to do cartoons.

Steve did himself cartoons, and then it occurred to him that very soon computers would turn into mobile phones, debiliki, and they would be called smartphones. Steve took a couple of units of money in billions, came to four content heroes Sonia, Universal and Amy and Varner, and said "Uncles - take my poor money and give me all the rights to music and movies, for the whole world, of course." Sad voices rang out - what about a monopoly, to which Steve very seriously noted, “Where are a few units, and where is a monopoly, my brothers? Firstly, my telephone numbers will be white and very, very beautiful, and accordingly sinless. Secondly, several units !! ”It is said - done. As they say it happened. And there appeared a certain online store of music and films, which quite suddenly worked only with white and very, very beautiful phones, and suddenly only this store had the rights to content for the whole world. No, of course, so that the public would not cry, somehow frankly, almost cripples were also getting rights, but somewhat curtailed, for example, on the discs of Affectionate May for distribution exclusively in Mozambique to pregnant men over 60.

Uncle Bill was looking at all this hell and cursing loudly, quietly moving his mind. Then Uncle Bill gathered friends, first of all, a couple of Vikings from some kind of Finland, who made toli phones, toli tires for cars, also naming both foolishly the same thing, which finally confused everyone, and Uncle Bill severely decided that there wasn’t light is worse than a man than a copywriter. Immediately some kind of Pirate Party arose, global movements and opacities and other twists, the essence of which boiled down to one thing - copywriting is evil, and music and films are the property of the people. The Internet immediately appeared apparently invisibly evil shops of pirated music.

Uncle Steve went to the four bogatyrs of content and asked, "Uncle, why did I wear this dirty-dirty money here?" Four heroes, came to the telecom company and their saddest friends in gray suits and asked - "Uncles and you do not know why did uncle Steve carry us this dirty-dirty money? ”Telecom companies went and took the servers of desperate online music stores. But those guys were fast and very quickly, in about 15 seconds, they made new servers for themselves, new domains, and cursed Roskomnadzor long before it appeared. Well, it is clear that one other owner of the servers of the stores was immediately locked in different cramped rooms and word for word, the guys realized these torrents for themselves, so that if you hide them in cramped rooms, then at once everyone on the planet, and not just the owners of servers and stores. One strange guy named Kim on this occasion was generally somewhere with a burger in the company of a kangaroo. Then Uncle Steve went again, and the four bogatyrs went again, but already in VISA & Mastercard and asked: “Tell me, dear, why did Steve carry this dirty-dirty money?” VISA & Mastercard was taken and all these channels were taken out stupid and vicious pirate shops. Shops are offended "so we do not play", closed and disappeared.


Kim talks about meeting with the kangaroo.

Uncle Steve on this song came back to his cozy company with white computers and somehow unexpectedly raised some 700 or 800 billion, who will count them, from which he very economically bought some more beautiful and black sweaters.
And those guys who were left without stores gathered the accumulated, filled up pipes and cigarettes with some kind of very strange tobacco, pulled themselves tight and thought, “what if not only files to drive on torrents decentralized, and what if dollars to drive, just drive decentralized, dudes right here to make a dollar torrent? So VISA / Mastercard will not be able to close us. Lafa. ”Such thoughts often come to mind when there is no tobacco in the pipe. And came up with Bitcoin. Just like bitttornt, but bitcoin, and the idea itself was expectedly blamed on the Japanese, who will understand their characters in their hieroglyphs, again beautifully - in all films the Japanese are the smartest.
No sooner said than done. It remains for small. We ought to come up with now, but why did they all come up with it.

10 years thought-thought, still think.

Here and the tale is over, and who listened well.

All of the above is the fruit of my cheerful imagination, has no relation to reality, all coincidences with Microsoft, Apple, iTunes, Nokia, PirateParty, Kim DotCom & Megaupload, Majors Big4 - Universal, SONY-BMG, EMI & Warner and of course Nokia - absolutely random, but in general - that's all you need to know about the bitcoin-blockchain.

PS This is my first post on Habré. Do not judge strictly, and remember - in every joke there is some joke!