Google Analytics on my website

I looked at Google Analytics for a long time and wanted the same schedule on my website ...

I rummaged through all that is possible, but unfortunately I did not find how to implement it.
1. automatically
2. on a hosting for 5 bucks :)
3. quick and easy
4. for free


Only one thing came up:
1. Set up to receive statistics by e-mail
2. Set up a script on the server that takes the letter, receives a pdf from there, parses it and writes to the database
3. Write a module for your site that overwrites data from the database into a format in which the Google flash drive understands them, and inserts it all into html.
')
Unfortunately, in such a “decision” point 2 is not fulfilled. And of course point 3 :-(

Maybe someone already has ready-made solutions?
Or is it just my brain stuck and I can’t correctly ask Google “a question to my answer”?

Solution 2
1. For data, I took w2.com.ua/blogs/wafire/poluchenie_dannyh_google_analytics (thanks Vasiliadi)
2. To display - native Google flash drive.
3. Re-convert the data into a format that she understands and everything :)

That's what happened. thanks to all :)
v54.ru/reporttest.php