I will not compare myself with other developers.

Today we will do a little exercise. It does not hurt. I promise. In fact, it is very pleasant. Even cathartic.

Repeat after me: I will not compare myself with other developers.



I do not know why I always repeat this, but it became my mantra. Just, yes? Easier said than done. Comparing ourselves with others is usually taken as something natural, because we are social creatures. Even a hermit and introvert like me. But when will we be good enough? When will it be enough? My answer is: never. But we are good right here, right now.

Admit it: I'm a noob, and that's fine

Today marks 92 days since the start of my insane venture to change my career and gain some valuable skills that will help me advance in a more satisfactory profession. Ninety two days. This is just over 13 weeks. What could you do in 13 weeks?

')

As I mentioned at the beginning of the story, in May, I left the position of client manager at a SaaS startup here in Portland. In this role, I had an impact on the embedded product, but not on the development process. And, being in an office separated from the development team, I absolutely could not look behind anyone’s shoulder to see what these guys were working on. However, this did not prevent me from asking questions wherever possible.



Sometimes, being completely unfamiliar with mobile development, I actually had no idea what I was asking ... I didn’t get the answers I was looking for, if I even got any. Sometimes I found myself walking appropriate terms. My acquaintance with the Agile-term “sprint” occurred in correspondence with the lead developer, who conducted a review of weekly projects. "Rescue ball" (rescue blob) - and what is this for @ $ & !? More questions, more google. Over time, this all became clearer, and I realized how far I had gone from the development process itself. I got envy of my programming colleagues, and I decided to move forward in my game (to step up my game).



Go back to the beginning and repeat after me: I will not compare myself with other web developers. I felt the keen pain of jealousy because A) they made more money than me and B) they faced problems that seemed more interesting to me than my work ... it was no good. Everybody starts from somewhere. Each developer in your company or in any other one also wrote his first line of code once.



When I started writing my own code thanks to Treehouse lessons, I missed the level of knowledge that “every developer” in my industry has ... I had to test myself. Obsessive desire to follow other developers is a very cool and useful activity, but whining, saying “why I can’t do the same thing as they in their repositories on GitHub and in the portfolio” is silly and self-destructive.



In short ...



Look at the work of others and learn from experience, use excellent samples, taking into account time and situation? YES.

Looking at someone else's work and self-deprecation due to the fact that you just still do not have the same skills? NOT.

Impostor Syndrome and Lonely Woman

(Imposter Syndrome and The Single Woman)

The negative effects of constantly comparing yourself with other developers and their skills do not end there. I'll tell you about the case.



Quickly enough after I began to progress, I began to meet with developers and engineers from various fields. The feeling about what they have achieved sometimes clouded my attitude towards them. For food and drink, I tried to explain what I was doing and gain approval for my ambitions! But inside myself, I again compared myself with them. My code was sloppy and noobish, and they looked great.



So what is the term "impostor syndrome"? It is a feeling that you are embellishing yourself or that you are not sufficiently qualified for what you are doing, or who you consider yourself. I have not had time for this yet ... They have years of experience behind them, and I have only 92 days. I am strong and learn incredibly fast. When I stumble, I lift myself up. I have a lot of great ideas that will somehow bear fruit when I acquire the necessary skills to make them a reality.



A sense of irresistible attraction to web development and a thirst to know / do more is a confirmation that I am in the right area and that I will do it well. Imagine what I can do on my 100th day. Only 8 more days, but, considering my rate of progress, it is a little more than 1/10 from that time that already passed. 1/10 of what I learned is still a pretty ridiculous amount. And what will be at the level of six months? And the year?



I have 92 days behind me. I will not compare myself with other developers.