Roly (according to Chekhov)
Vanka Zhukov, a nineteen-year-old web developer who settled in a metropolitan Internet agency three months ago, did not go to bed the night before the release of the new version of Ubuntu. Waiting for those. the director and managers went to the meeting, he took a cell phone, a USB cable, a mouse with a sticking ball out from under the table and, spreading out a shabby laptop in front of him, began to type. Before pressing the first key, he looked fearfully at the doors and windows several times, glanced at the portrait of Artemy Andreyevich, on both sides of which the shelves with “marks” stretched, and intermittently sighed. The laptop was lying on the office chair, and he himself was kneeling in front of the chair.
“Dear readers of my blog, habraklyudi! - he wrote. - And I am writing you this habratopik. Congratulations on the release of the new version of Ubuntu and wish you all the best from Mark Shuttleworth. I don’t have a basic LJ account, no access to ICQ, only you have left me alone. ”
')
Roly turned his eyes to a dark window, in which the reflection of the dim screen of his laptop flashed, and vividly imagined his friends who served as admins for the gentlemen of providers. These are small, skinny, but unusually brisk and agile computer scientists of 18 years old, with a forever laughing face and drunk eyes. During the day, they sleep at a university lecture or juggle with their secretaries, but at night, in the dark, bending over a black console screen, monitor ports, view logs and hang on IRC channels. Behind them, eating mana, lemmings rush in crowds, and SMO bots are nicknamed in their manner of posting links. SMO bots are extraordinarily respectful and tender, equally sweetly appealing and friends of both their own and those of others, but they do not deserve karmas. Under their reverence and humility hides the most Jesuit malice. No one knows better than them to sneak up and minus someone else's topic in time, post a comment with XSS or steal an account password. They have already been denied access more than once, they have been banned many times, each week they block IP addresses of servers with scripts, but they always appear again.
Now, probably, the admin from his first job is sitting at the monitor, squinting his eyes at the translucent windows of the terminal of the remote server and, rustling the keyboard, will post comments on the habr. His tambourine is tied to his belt. He throws up his hands, crunches his knuckles and, maliciously giggling, minus the topic of the lemming, then the ancient Boyan.
- Would you like to try a new framework? - he says, publishing a new habratopik.
Habrayuzer read and plus. Admin comes in indescribable delight, filled with cheerful laughter and screams:
- Plus further, schA home vyplyvet!
Kopipastit a topic and on the ENT and on opennet. LOR-sheep read, the flame begins and, having quickly forgotten the topic of fasting, roll into discussion of the bioreactor. Opennetovets, out of deference, do not flame and approvely approve. And the connection speed at night is great. The channel is empty, transparent and fresh. There are few users online, but you can see all of Russia with its IP addresses and confusing routes from home networks, where sometimes several hundred users share one aDSL modem, GPRS proxy, and in some places even dial-up. The entire map of statistics is littered with fun flashing dots, and the geography of the users appears so clearly, as if it had been washed and rubbed before the exit ...
Roly sighed, otkolupnul zapadayuschy space and continued to type:
“Yesterday I had a beating. The director called me into the corporate chat room, scolded me and shut down all the Internet access for the fact that I shook the bang from the torrent and inadvertently downloaded twelve gigs. And in the week, the head of the department told me to compile a web form, and I started with HTML, and she took the technical assignment and started hacking me at it. Managers scoff at me, send a link to the bang by e-mail and tell me to download two gigs from ifolder, and the director beats for it than by hitting. And there is no food. They give me a sausage in the morning, sushi at lunchtime and in the evening a sausage too, and so that brandy or a good steak, then the owners themselves crack. And I’m told to code it in OOP, and when the deadline, I don’t write the code at all, but I test the forms. Dear Habralyuds, do godly grace, take me from here to a startup, to a co-working center, there is no my opportunity ... I bow to you in my legs and I will always ply your topics, take me away from here, or I will die ... "
Roly turned his mouth, rubbed the ball of the mouse with his black fist, and sobbed.
“I will typeset HTML for you,” he continued, “to set up a web server, and if anything, then minus my karma, like a goat. And if you think I don’t have any posts, then I’ll ask for pictures in Google to arrange tags for Google, or I’ll go to bloggers instead of Fedka. Habrapipl, dear, there is no possibility, just death alone. I wanted to stir up my startup, but I don’t have an investor, I’m afraid to burn out. And when I promote my service, I’ll post links to your websites and don’t give anyone karma in the minus, and if I’m banned, I’ll beg for the restoration of admin’s account, it's all the same as for the user of Onotolya.
And Moscow is a big city. There are a lot of master studios and corporate orders, but there are no startups and the CMS is more and more boxed. On the pearl, the guys here do not code, and without registration by invitation to the main branch, they do not let anyone go, and since I saw in one studio, ready-made sites are sold directly with hosting and for any company that is very worthwhile, even this one has one edition that the corporate portal will support. And I saw that studios, where designs are all in the manner of barinovs, so I suppose it’s a hundred rubles ... And in computer stores both aimaks, macbook eyry, and asus eee pc, and in which place they are collected, sellers do not tell.
Lovely habrayuzer, and when Microsoft will have a presentation of new products, ask Steve Ballmer a question about free products for web developers from me, and post the answer in your blog. Ask Steve Ballmer, tell me, for Vanka. ”
Roly convulsively sighed and again stared at the window. He recalled that before the Microsoft program had always bought for the office an admin in a stall in the local market and took Vanka with him. It was a fun time! And the admin grunted, and users grunted, and looking at them, and Roly quacks. Sometimes, before kryaknut the next program, the administrator connects to the Internet through dialup, listens to the modem for a long time, chuckles at the admiring Vanya ... Freshly bought CDs wrapped in cellophane lie and wait, which one of them will quack? Out of nowhere, on one of the disks in the boot sector, the resident virus ... Admin can not shout:
Hold, hold ... hold! Oh, little devil!
The admin cracked programs dragged into his office, and there they began to install them ... The head of the information department, Olga Ignatievna, Vanya's favorite, was the most troublesome. When I was still running Windows NT 4.0 and served at the office as a domain controller, Olga Ignatievna took Vanka part-time and, having nothing to do, learned to use a computer, type in a Word, count in Excel, make pages in FrontPage, and even write simple VBA scripts. When the office closed, Vanka got a webmaster at a local office, and from there gradually moved to Moscow ...
“Come to my blog, dear friends,” continued Vanka, “I beg of all Firefox bugs, take me to a startup. Have pity on me, office plankton, otherwise I’m tired of working for my uncle and wanting to eat passion, but boredom is such that you can’t say, I am crying. But the other day, the director closed all of the Internet access to me, so I barely had to endure, I went out through GPRS and got rid of it. My missing life, worse than any dog ​​... And I also bow to Veronica Belmont, Artemy Lebedev and Jason Calacanis, and don’t give my karma to anyone. I remain your friend Ivan Zhukov, cute habra, go to my blog. ”
Roly pressed the "preview" and making sure that Habr did not zohaval markup, would like to press the button "publish" ... Thinking a little, he otpolupnul zapadayuschy space and added a tag:
startup, self-development, business
Then he scratched himself, thought and added: “ entrepreneurship ”. Satisfied that he was not prevented from writing, he looked through the text once more, and bypassing the “preview”, he confidently clicked on “publish” ...
The owners of standalone blogs, which he questioned the day before, told him that posts get into search engines and rss, and of them are distributed throughout the earth through aggregators and broadcast blogs with millions of readers and contextual advertising. Roly opened the first aggregation service and inserted the URL of his blog's rss-stream in the address field ...
Lulled by sweet hopes, he slept soundly an hour later ... He dreamed of his old job, where he worked part time. In the old office, behind a server with Windows NT 4.0, a familiar admin sits, putting a tambourine beside him, and reading his blog's record aloud ... Olga Ignatyevna, head of the information department, stands beside him and smiles approvingly ...
“Dear readers of my blog, habraklyudi! - he wrote. - And I am writing you this habratopik. Congratulations on the release of the new version of Ubuntu and wish you all the best from Mark Shuttleworth. I don’t have a basic LJ account, no access to ICQ, only you have left me alone. ”
')
Roly turned his eyes to a dark window, in which the reflection of the dim screen of his laptop flashed, and vividly imagined his friends who served as admins for the gentlemen of providers. These are small, skinny, but unusually brisk and agile computer scientists of 18 years old, with a forever laughing face and drunk eyes. During the day, they sleep at a university lecture or juggle with their secretaries, but at night, in the dark, bending over a black console screen, monitor ports, view logs and hang on IRC channels. Behind them, eating mana, lemmings rush in crowds, and SMO bots are nicknamed in their manner of posting links. SMO bots are extraordinarily respectful and tender, equally sweetly appealing and friends of both their own and those of others, but they do not deserve karmas. Under their reverence and humility hides the most Jesuit malice. No one knows better than them to sneak up and minus someone else's topic in time, post a comment with XSS or steal an account password. They have already been denied access more than once, they have been banned many times, each week they block IP addresses of servers with scripts, but they always appear again.
Now, probably, the admin from his first job is sitting at the monitor, squinting his eyes at the translucent windows of the terminal of the remote server and, rustling the keyboard, will post comments on the habr. His tambourine is tied to his belt. He throws up his hands, crunches his knuckles and, maliciously giggling, minus the topic of the lemming, then the ancient Boyan.
- Would you like to try a new framework? - he says, publishing a new habratopik.
Habrayuzer read and plus. Admin comes in indescribable delight, filled with cheerful laughter and screams:
- Plus further, schA home vyplyvet!
Kopipastit a topic and on the ENT and on opennet. LOR-sheep read, the flame begins and, having quickly forgotten the topic of fasting, roll into discussion of the bioreactor. Opennetovets, out of deference, do not flame and approvely approve. And the connection speed at night is great. The channel is empty, transparent and fresh. There are few users online, but you can see all of Russia with its IP addresses and confusing routes from home networks, where sometimes several hundred users share one aDSL modem, GPRS proxy, and in some places even dial-up. The entire map of statistics is littered with fun flashing dots, and the geography of the users appears so clearly, as if it had been washed and rubbed before the exit ...
Roly sighed, otkolupnul zapadayuschy space and continued to type:
“Yesterday I had a beating. The director called me into the corporate chat room, scolded me and shut down all the Internet access for the fact that I shook the bang from the torrent and inadvertently downloaded twelve gigs. And in the week, the head of the department told me to compile a web form, and I started with HTML, and she took the technical assignment and started hacking me at it. Managers scoff at me, send a link to the bang by e-mail and tell me to download two gigs from ifolder, and the director beats for it than by hitting. And there is no food. They give me a sausage in the morning, sushi at lunchtime and in the evening a sausage too, and so that brandy or a good steak, then the owners themselves crack. And I’m told to code it in OOP, and when the deadline, I don’t write the code at all, but I test the forms. Dear Habralyuds, do godly grace, take me from here to a startup, to a co-working center, there is no my opportunity ... I bow to you in my legs and I will always ply your topics, take me away from here, or I will die ... "
Roly turned his mouth, rubbed the ball of the mouse with his black fist, and sobbed.
“I will typeset HTML for you,” he continued, “to set up a web server, and if anything, then minus my karma, like a goat. And if you think I don’t have any posts, then I’ll ask for pictures in Google to arrange tags for Google, or I’ll go to bloggers instead of Fedka. Habrapipl, dear, there is no possibility, just death alone. I wanted to stir up my startup, but I don’t have an investor, I’m afraid to burn out. And when I promote my service, I’ll post links to your websites and don’t give anyone karma in the minus, and if I’m banned, I’ll beg for the restoration of admin’s account, it's all the same as for the user of Onotolya.
And Moscow is a big city. There are a lot of master studios and corporate orders, but there are no startups and the CMS is more and more boxed. On the pearl, the guys here do not code, and without registration by invitation to the main branch, they do not let anyone go, and since I saw in one studio, ready-made sites are sold directly with hosting and for any company that is very worthwhile, even this one has one edition that the corporate portal will support. And I saw that studios, where designs are all in the manner of barinovs, so I suppose it’s a hundred rubles ... And in computer stores both aimaks, macbook eyry, and asus eee pc, and in which place they are collected, sellers do not tell.
Lovely habrayuzer, and when Microsoft will have a presentation of new products, ask Steve Ballmer a question about free products for web developers from me, and post the answer in your blog. Ask Steve Ballmer, tell me, for Vanka. ”
Roly convulsively sighed and again stared at the window. He recalled that before the Microsoft program had always bought for the office an admin in a stall in the local market and took Vanka with him. It was a fun time! And the admin grunted, and users grunted, and looking at them, and Roly quacks. Sometimes, before kryaknut the next program, the administrator connects to the Internet through dialup, listens to the modem for a long time, chuckles at the admiring Vanya ... Freshly bought CDs wrapped in cellophane lie and wait, which one of them will quack? Out of nowhere, on one of the disks in the boot sector, the resident virus ... Admin can not shout:
Hold, hold ... hold! Oh, little devil!
The admin cracked programs dragged into his office, and there they began to install them ... The head of the information department, Olga Ignatievna, Vanya's favorite, was the most troublesome. When I was still running Windows NT 4.0 and served at the office as a domain controller, Olga Ignatievna took Vanka part-time and, having nothing to do, learned to use a computer, type in a Word, count in Excel, make pages in FrontPage, and even write simple VBA scripts. When the office closed, Vanka got a webmaster at a local office, and from there gradually moved to Moscow ...
“Come to my blog, dear friends,” continued Vanka, “I beg of all Firefox bugs, take me to a startup. Have pity on me, office plankton, otherwise I’m tired of working for my uncle and wanting to eat passion, but boredom is such that you can’t say, I am crying. But the other day, the director closed all of the Internet access to me, so I barely had to endure, I went out through GPRS and got rid of it. My missing life, worse than any dog ​​... And I also bow to Veronica Belmont, Artemy Lebedev and Jason Calacanis, and don’t give my karma to anyone. I remain your friend Ivan Zhukov, cute habra, go to my blog. ”
Roly pressed the "preview" and making sure that Habr did not zohaval markup, would like to press the button "publish" ... Thinking a little, he otpolupnul zapadayuschy space and added a tag:
startup, self-development, business
Then he scratched himself, thought and added: “ entrepreneurship ”. Satisfied that he was not prevented from writing, he looked through the text once more, and bypassing the “preview”, he confidently clicked on “publish” ...
The owners of standalone blogs, which he questioned the day before, told him that posts get into search engines and rss, and of them are distributed throughout the earth through aggregators and broadcast blogs with millions of readers and contextual advertising. Roly opened the first aggregation service and inserted the URL of his blog's rss-stream in the address field ...
Lulled by sweet hopes, he slept soundly an hour later ... He dreamed of his old job, where he worked part time. In the old office, behind a server with Windows NT 4.0, a familiar admin sits, putting a tambourine beside him, and reading his blog's record aloud ... Olga Ignatyevna, head of the information department, stands beside him and smiles approvingly ...
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/24627/
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