10 mistakes that prevent us from changing

Translator's note: Some time ago I read a wonderful article on Medium.com . The author of the article, Samuel Thomas Davies, took as a basis the research of Stanford University professor BJ Fogg on behavior change. Today I want to share its translation with the community.

To change their behavior, of course, difficult. It is necessary to overcome obstacles, overcome resilience and change external factors.

Obviously, it is much more difficult to do when you make mistakes that are quite commonplace, but often underestimated or simply ignored because of their inconspicuousness.
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The problem is that we have a natural inclination to take the blame for the fact that new habits do not take root. We believe that the real problem is in us, whereas in reality, it lies in the strategy that we used.
It's simple: if you can change your approach, then you can change your habits.

The following is a list of 10 frequently-occurring errors in behavior change, discovered by Dr. B. J. Fogg. If you avoid these mistakes, it will not only speed up the formation of new habits, but more importantly, it will help to keep them. [one]

1. Rely on willpower

Like most people, changing my habits, I relied on willpower. He made himself eat fruits and vegetables, exercise and socialize.

But the truth is that willpower is a limited resource, and the more you use it, the more self-control is weakened. This is also known as ego depletion or decision fatigue.

Solution: Instead of relying on willpower, shape what Fogg calls "mini-habits."

2. Take big steps instead of small ones

It is very difficult to start with small personal achievements, especially because we are accustomed to believe that we should celebrate them only when they are significant and have visible results.

In fact, the secret of long-term changes is that you need to start with small steps that you can constantly maintain. A good example is the practice of daily improvement of one percent. That is, daily apply a little effort, which over time will bring excellent results. Do not believe? See comparison below.

Solution: Strive for what Fogg calls “small accomplishments,” one after another. Did you clean one tooth with dental floss? You deserve praise. Said no to the next dessert? Tear off in a "fraudulent" day.

3. Ignore external conditions

It is amazing how small changes in our environment can significantly affect our behavior. For example, pulling batteries out of a TV remote, removing social media apps from a smartphone, and even using smaller plates for food, all of which can positively affect your actions.

Solution: Learn to influence your decisions by changing your environment so that it contributes to your new way of doing things.

4. Trying to quit old habits, instead of creating new ones

Abruptly stop bad habits - this is a fairly common practice, but not so easy to implement. Thus, as a result of failure, your willpower and self-confidence will inevitably be depleted.

In the book “Step by step to achieve the goal. The kaizen method ”Dr. Robert Maurer talks about how he helped his patient Rachel to quit smoking, asking her to leave voice messages to his phone whenever she wanted to smoke.

As a result, she realized the reason for her smoking and then overcome this habit. [2]

Solution: Instead of focusing on the problem itself, concentrate on the actions. It's hard enough to quit a bad habit, so just replace it with another - a positive one.

5. Put the blame on lack of motivation

Your motivation, as well as your emotional state, has ups and downs. This is not always predictable, and at that moment when you really need to rely on it, you will most likely be disappointed.

Solution: There is no need to rely on motivation, you just need to simplify the habit so that it can be easier to perform. For example: eat one fruit per day, brush one tooth with floss, run 1 lap around the house. In other words, do it the way Leo Babauta writes: “So simple that you can't say no.” [3]

6. Do not understand the power of triggers.

At the core of any habit is the same pattern. This is a trigger , action and reward . The trigger tells your brain that you need to switch to automatic mode and what habit you need to use for this. Then, as a result of doing the usual actions, you get a certain reward.

Solution: Habits do not work without triggers, so in order to get rid of bad habits, define your triggers (usually more than one). Then, to root a new habit, select a trigger like the previous action. That is, follow it immediately after another already established good habit. For example, they brushed their teeth in the morning and did 20 pushups; brushed my teeth before bedtime, then read a book. [four]

7. Believe that information leads to action

Knowledge does not carry any power without their application. Applying an idea is just as important as the idea itself. Therefore, be sure to apply at least one new idea that you have learned, whether it is from this article or from anywhere else.

Solution: Do not be rational about change, be emotional. Imagine that any change is pleasure and enjoyment, and immutability causes you pain.

8. Focus on abstract goals instead of concrete results.

You attend a seminar, feel inspired and decide to start your own business, lose weight or make more money. But these are all abstract goals, they do not contain a concrete call to action.

Solution: Fogg explains “Abstraction:“ Bring yourself into shape. ” Specifics: “Attend circuit training once a week”. ” Turn your abstract desire into actionable steps that will be easy to follow.

9. Strive to change behavior forever, and not for a certain period.

Change is always difficult. That is why the slogan of the Alcoholics Anonymous community is: “One day at a time”. The meaning of which is to focus on today, so as not to break, and tomorrow will be tomorrow. If we are not in the past, then, as a rule, we think about the future. Therefore, you need to focus on the present and what you can do today. First of all - the first step by step.

Solution: According to Fogg, a certain period works better than “forever”. The trick is to turn your new actions into something measurable. For example, the number of days during which you do not use a bad habit. Or specify a specific period during which you want to hold out.

To begin, count the first day, then the week, the month, and so on. Your main task is not to break the chain.

10. Assuming that changing behavior is difficult

The easiest way to argue is that you cannot change by the fact that you do not have enough willpower (or come up with another excuse), rather than take action. But now that you know how the habit works (trigger> actions> reward), you cannot have excuses.

Solution: Using the right strategy, changing the image of one’s actions is not so difficult. Decide for yourself what you want to change and immediately take action. Define the trigger. Celebrate success. Change the action. Just start doing at least something.

Awareness and avoidance of these mistakes changed my approach to how I change my habits. I am grateful for these decisions, because they have changed my life and I hope that they will change your lives too.