Introverts in IT. How to use features of your character to achieve goals
A few years ago I worked as a screenwriter for training courses. One morning, the boss met me with a face "we need to talk."
He asked me to talk with a guest psychologist. “Thank you for not being a psychiatrist,” I thought. It turned out he hired a psychologist who "helps to overcome barriers of communication in the team." To distract eyes, the psychologist talked with all the workers, although they only saw the problem in me.
I rejected this tempting offer and safely forgot about it. But next week I met with this psychologist again. At first she sat on the couch and looked at the catalogs. And then she sat nearby with a view of "I'm here if you need help." After a while, I got tired of it and I said that I was thinking about it.
')
Presented this scene? Yes, exactly as in films about not quite normal people.
Already after I was asked to leave, one of my former colleagues told me that people were not exactly afraid of me, but they did not know what was on my mind. I didn’t discuss anything except work with anyone; communication with my colleagues often came down to “good morning” and “bye”, if there were no business reasons.
And this was at the time when the head created with all his might “an atmosphere of ease”: everyone (except for me) was photographed for forced positive posts in the corporate blog, went to nature (without me) and discussed films. During these discussions, I felt like I was in a literature class with an analysis of Tyutchev's poem.
I didn't need all this, it was interesting to work, not to communicate. And, by the way, besides my work, I did many more things to optimize processes and the like - it was a startup, so much needed to be done from scratch, and that was what attracted me to it. So, while everyone was discussing the next film that they had just watched in the office, I was working.
But even initiative did not save me from dismissal.
I think today, I can understand the boss. I put myself in his place: “This dude is a strange kind. He seems to be doing all that they charge him and even more. Not lazy, although it comes after all. Rather, on the contrary, he suspiciously works a lot. And all the time silent ... Not involved in the life of the team. Hell, he didn’t even take a picture of himself in a blog once! Is he hiding something?
Then I did not know how to behave. Today, after I fell in love with negotiations and studied a stack of books about introversion, including the one that was already discussed here, I know what to do and what to say. ”- the story ends here.
Disclaimer I: To prevent unconstructive disputes - I understand that there are few “clean” extroverts and introverts, but they are there, and the precedent is a good reason to investigate. In addition, it is not necessary to be a pure introvert to feel all the charms of the world that does not shut up for a second.
Disclaimer II: I understand that life is not fundamentally binary, but much more diverse. No, I do not propose to divide the world in two. No, I do not claim that "there are two types of people in the world."
Well, let's go to the categories verified.
In cognitive neuroscience, the term "temperament" does not have a universal interpretation. It is often described as “a characteristic way of responding to external stimuli.” These reactions are stable, unchanged, and can be observed soon after birth, and therefore it is assumed that they are genetically determined.
At the same time, the person, the value is not constant and is subject to the influence of parental education, environment and cultural factors. Temperament directly affects the personality, since temperament is set genetically.
Of course, these definitions and theories are disputed to this day, but the first who approached the question empirically was Professor Jerome Kagan, a pioneer in the field of age psychology. Before his research, all theories were based only on opinions.
We will not bore you with a description of experiments, curious people can look here .
During the experiments, in which five hundred four-month-old babies took part, the Kagan group identified two types of behavior — low-reactive behavior, in which infants reacted poorly to stimuli and highly reactive, in which the reaction was clear and prolonged.
Based on the name, one would assume that extroverts will later become babies who hit tears at the sight of a woman in a gas mask. But everything turns out to be exactly the opposite - research continues to this day, and their results give reason to assert that it is from highly reactive babies that introverted individuals grow.
Simultaneously with the observations, measurements of physiological parameters were carried out, the results of which gave reason to believe that highly reactive infants, that is, future introverted individuals, have a more sensitive amygdala .
Thus, people who are prone to introversion, receive much more signals, the processing of which they need more attention, time and energy than extroverts. That is why introverts spend more time thinking than words. And, unfortunately, on the action.
In 2001, the Institute of Public Health of Belgrade conducted a study . 123 students (43 men and 80 women) were asked to perform arithmetic in the mind, in quiet and noisy laboratory conditions. Experimental predisposition to a particular type of temperament was determined using the personal questionnaire Eysenk.
Experiments assessed problems with concentration, the level of fatigue and irritation caused by noise, on a 10-point scale.
The group consisting of extroverts coped with tasks much faster, being in noisy conditions. Introverts, on the contrary, experienced problems with concentration, fatigue and irritation in the same conditions.
Correlation analysis revealed a high inverse dependence of extroversion on the noise level.
Now that we have learned that introversion is an inherent quality that can interfere with a successful career in the world of extroverts, what can we do about it?
Excerpt from the book about introverts:
“Of course, we allow all gifted loner who create companies in garages to show their personality as they please, but this is rather an exception to the rule - our tolerance usually extends to those who manage to get fabulously rich, or at least on those who give it hope. "
Introverts are often perceived as loners and people who “do not want to play as a team,” but things are not so simple. If you force an introvert to “play in a team,” it will spend more energy on getting into the team than on playing. And this is not a whim and not a flaw, although from the point of view of the corporate world it is just that.
So what to do, to a person who hates empty idle talk about yesterday’s series of “Game of Thrones” or about the new model of iPhone?
Unfortunately, the majority rule applies here - if you are in England, you will have to drive on the left side of the road, no matter how independent your mindset is.
Thus, the only way out is to learn how to work on your “weak” sides and adapt your life cycle to the world of extroverts.
No matter how much you agree with the concept of polar temperaments, this study shows that introverts will be able to significantly increase their efficiency if they work under controlled noise conditions. For extroverts, the opposite is true. If you are an extrovert, you can be congratulated. Introvers are less fortunate, hardly anyone will create special conditions for them at work. What to do in this case?
Of course, the most obvious solution to the problem of a noisy workplace is to work from home. But, first of all, many introverts know this as well. And secondly, of course, this is not always possible. Therefore, the only solution would be the creation of “security islands”.
Our country is still far from the offices of Google with their recharging capsules , but most likely there are places in your company where you can be alone with you from time to time, for example, meeting rooms. Although this is still a temporary solution, and if you are not the only introvert in your company, it is probably time to discuss this issue with your supervisor. Good bosses are well able to count money, and you will have no problems with arguments in favor of the rationality of organizing recreation places.
Just do not call them places of rest, most likely, the authorities will not be delighted with this term.
Here is the opinion of Jason Friedman, the founder of 37signals about why people prefer to work from home:
“Especially it concerns the people of creative professions - designers, programmers, engineers, thinkers. To do the work, they simply need long periods of time when no one will disturb them. You can not ask someone to switch to creative thinking for 15 minutes and think about the problem. Yes, an idea may arise quickly, but usually, in order to really think about a problem, you need to immerse yourself in it, and for this you need time, a lot of time, when no one will disturb you.
And, although a typical working day lasts eight hours, how many people can afford to be alone with their thoughts for eight hours? And seven? And six? Maybe at least five or four?
When was the last time you were left alone for four hours while you were in the office? And two? Or maybe for one? Very, very few people can afford to dive into the problem for several hours while in the office. And that is why people prefer to work at home, or, if they work in an office, to come early in the morning, there is still no one, or vice versa, stay late until everything is gone. Or work on weekends, or on a plane, or in a car, and even on the subway, because there no one will disturb them. ”
And because here we are not talking about introverts. Imagine how imperative it is for them. Indeed, in their case, several more elements are added to the equation - social interactions, the need to play a role and others.
Guy Kawasaki: “It may be hard for you to believe this, but I am an introvert. I have to play a certain “role”, but I'm a loner by nature. ”
Knowing who Guy Kawasaki is, it's really hard to believe. But this is not the only example when a person who has dedicated his life to bringing people together and their efforts is “closed”.
Craig Newmark, the creator of Craigslist, talks about his communication problems and what helped him cope with them.
In 2002, a study was conducted at Bar-Ilan University, which resulted in that it turned out that, firstly, introverts communicate more freely on the Internet than extroverts. And secondly, introverts are more open in communication via the Internet than in “real life”.
This is probably due to the fact that communication via the Internet eliminates the need to observe social rituals, as well as the stress associated with assessment.
The first step in solving the problem is to formulate it. You are probably not looking at this as a problem. Of course, since we are talking about temperament, what is the problem?
I also thought so, until I had a story from the beginning of the article. And then another one and one more. In the end, it dawned on me that there was a problem and a problem in me.
It doesn’t matter how well you do your job, if you can’t talk about it, preferably just as well.
When I realized that it was more comfortable for me to work from home, that is, under controlled conditions, I hired the best agent I could find. When I watched him “sell” to complete strangers, he seemed to me to be a superman.
But after working with him for a while, I realized that it doesn’t matter to him what to sell and he doesn’t understand anything about what I do. And does not seek to understand. As a result, he made such concessions and accepted conditions that reduced the value of transactions to almost zero. I did not know how to explain to him that the point is not in prices and not in profit.
So, I had three options: try again, find another agent, or learn to talk to people.
I decided that at the age of 27 it was time to be independent, and I took the first step - signed up for courses on negotiations. It is difficult to imagine a place more inappropriate for an introvert than a course on communication with customers.
It is important to note here, I do not consider the achievements of Dale Carnegie enviable. Of course, because they directly contradict my introverted nature. And at the mention of the book “How to make friends and influence people,” my fists involuntarily clench.
But it turned out that not all negotiation systems are based on lies, compromises and manipulations. On the contrary, there are those who criticize such methods.
Of course, the introvert will not be able to “remake himself” and become a sociable extrovert, no matter how hard he tries. In any case, I do not know such examples. But he will have to “learn to drive on the right side of the road,” and the sooner he accepts this, the better for him and his career.
We have already written about the benefits of getting out of the comfort zone, and sign up for courses on negotiations, an excellent example of such practices, but these do not necessarily have to be courses. You can start with small goals.
The Internet is an ideal environment for introvert collaboration, and services like SmartProgress simplify the search for like-minded people.
You have a lot of ideas, but you are afraid that you can not cope alone? Create a goal, describe the essence of the project there and include the status “ looking for a partner ”. Write about your achievements, they will notice you, they will definitely notice you. My friend thanks to SmartProgress found a business partner. I just wrote about my steps and the future partner saw detailed and thoughtful posts that added impressions of a pedantic person about him. And it all came together. He did not present his business to investors, did not look for partners on specialized resources, but simply went towards his goal and noticed his sense of purpose.
Introvers, as a rule, it is difficult to even start looking for like-minded people. Because they do not know how to submit themselves and their project. Or they decided in advance that their ideas would not be interesting to anyone - they are masters of calculating everything in their minds. Or they are afraid that someone will say that this is a “crazy idea” and will confirm their fears.
Ask your friend introvert, probably he has a lot of unrealized "useless ideas." Extroverts know the secret - ideas need to be shared, and they share. Sometimes even with those who did not ask for it. Introverts consider such behavior unacceptable, and PR in any form is akin to boasting for them, which they do not tolerate. Therefore, introverts simply need a business partner extrovert.
At the same time, it is not necessary to sacrifice sincerity - you do not know how to support conversations “about the weather” - no, I still don’t know how. Although someone even writes books on this topic, and someone even reads them.
So far, it seems that introverts have nothing to do in areas that involve "working with people." Is it so? Can an introvert be a successful speaker, politician, entrepreneur, film producer - a word, a person who contacts people most of the time?
The short answer is yes. The answer is genuine - yes, but.
Bill Gates, Ilon Musk, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Guy Kawasaki - if this list does not convince you, I have a few more arguments. Introverts can not only manage companies and people, but often do it better than extroverts. There are at least two explanations for this.
Firstly, thanks to his mindset, introverts, it is important to solve problems and achieve results, not paying attention to their ego. It is not important for them that you complete their task, it is important for them that you complete the task.
Secondly, introverts know about their weaknesses from an early age, so they spend more time preparing, educating and training management and communication skills.
Ilon Musk about how he learned not to seem an introvert .
We are used to imagining leaders exclusively as active, sociable and charismatic "energy drivers". But this is only because in culture these types of leaders are given more attention.
Jim Collins, in his famous book From Good to Great , did not consider the question of extra-or introversion of the “fifth-level leaders,” however, he always ran into the same thing - the personality of the leaders. And among them there were surprisingly few people who spent money on expensive cars, yachts and other external attributes, and in their description the words “modest”, “discreet”, “non-public” appeared.
You can treat this information as unconfirmed rumors or myths, but in my opinion the correlation is more than obvious - introverts do not care about their self-esteem or image, while in the life of an extrovert, the ego plays a significant role.
Of course, image is important for business, and manners are important for business negotiations, because, as we know, even the smartest people make decisions based on emotions. After the deal is concluded, no one cares what you are wearing and what you came to the meeting with. From this point on, only one thing is important. Of course - the result.
I hope you read it to here. I did not set myself to retell the book " Introverts ", I, like many of you are an opponent of simplifications, and I have many complaints about this book, including "American style of presentation." Nevertheless, the book helped me to formulate a problem that I tried not to notice.
Yes, we believe that Americans often over-complicate simple things and then chew them thoroughly, but even in this form, the book makes us think that we cannot control everything, as much as we would like.
You can not just close your eyes to the inconvenience that creates a variety of life and pretend that there is no problem that "Americans always make an elephant out of a fly." Sooner or later, you will realize that you are driving in the oncoming lane, and if you ask me - in my opinion, it is better to understand this before the accident.
I have not learned, and hardly learn to maintain a useless conversation. If only because I can never understand when it is already “enough” and you can get down to business.
I will hardly require extraverts from the world to take into account my features. But I can organize my work so that I have time to recharge.
One of the tips to introverts from the book is to consciously sacrifice your comfort in favor of the results. Yes, after talking with people, introverts need time to recover. But you need to be able to interact with people if you want to achieve something.
If for work you need to communicate with people on the phone, of course, you can delegate this to someone else. I used to do that too. But then I realized that this is a departure from the problem, not a solution. Now I have found a way to do it on my own - I answer calls while standing. I do not know why, but it works.
Knowing the problem, you can come up with a solution, even if it looks stupid from the outside. Turning away from the problem, you may not notice how it grows to a size when it will be difficult to control.
SmartProgress - achieving goals
PS If you do not have an account in Habré, you can express your opinion on this article in our blog - SmartTalks
He asked me to talk with a guest psychologist. “Thank you for not being a psychiatrist,” I thought. It turned out he hired a psychologist who "helps to overcome barriers of communication in the team." To distract eyes, the psychologist talked with all the workers, although they only saw the problem in me.
I rejected this tempting offer and safely forgot about it. But next week I met with this psychologist again. At first she sat on the couch and looked at the catalogs. And then she sat nearby with a view of "I'm here if you need help." After a while, I got tired of it and I said that I was thinking about it.
')
Presented this scene? Yes, exactly as in films about not quite normal people.
Already after I was asked to leave, one of my former colleagues told me that people were not exactly afraid of me, but they did not know what was on my mind. I didn’t discuss anything except work with anyone; communication with my colleagues often came down to “good morning” and “bye”, if there were no business reasons.
And this was at the time when the head created with all his might “an atmosphere of ease”: everyone (except for me) was photographed for forced positive posts in the corporate blog, went to nature (without me) and discussed films. During these discussions, I felt like I was in a literature class with an analysis of Tyutchev's poem.
I didn't need all this, it was interesting to work, not to communicate. And, by the way, besides my work, I did many more things to optimize processes and the like - it was a startup, so much needed to be done from scratch, and that was what attracted me to it. So, while everyone was discussing the next film that they had just watched in the office, I was working.
But even initiative did not save me from dismissal.
I think today, I can understand the boss. I put myself in his place: “This dude is a strange kind. He seems to be doing all that they charge him and even more. Not lazy, although it comes after all. Rather, on the contrary, he suspiciously works a lot. And all the time silent ... Not involved in the life of the team. Hell, he didn’t even take a picture of himself in a blog once! Is he hiding something?
Then I did not know how to behave. Today, after I fell in love with negotiations and studied a stack of books about introversion, including the one that was already discussed here, I know what to do and what to say. ”- the story ends here.
Disclaimer I: To prevent unconstructive disputes - I understand that there are few “clean” extroverts and introverts, but they are there, and the precedent is a good reason to investigate. In addition, it is not necessary to be a pure introvert to feel all the charms of the world that does not shut up for a second.
To begin with, consider what introverts are not. Of course, theses do not pretend to be scientific, and can provoke accusations of populism, but nonetheless.
7 myths about introverts:
No. 1 Introverts don't like to talk
It is not true. Introverts don't like chatting. They will be silent until they have something to say. Empty chatter exhausts them. But try to talk with an introvert about what interests him and it will be difficult for you to stop him.
No. 2 Introverts are shy
Shyness is not associated with introversion. Introverts are not afraid of people, but they need a good reason for interaction. They are unlikely to maintain contact with someone just out of politeness or out of consideration for mutually beneficial "friendship."
No. 3 Introverts are rude and don't like people.
No, they do not see the point in social conventions and the exchange of false courtesies. They want everything to be fair. Unfortunately, the world is not so. To behave insincerely - for them a lot of stress, which they prefer to avoid.
â„–4 Introverts do not like to be in public
This is not true. Introverts do not like to be in public for a long time. They need less time to gather information and impressions, and much more to process them. And if it seems to you that this sounds too utilitarian, then yes, it is - they hate the aimless pastime, on the scale of one day, or the whole of life.
â„–5 Introverts Weird
Most often they are individualists. They are little susceptible to herd feelings, focusing on their inner convictions. They think independently, therefore, their judgments often disagree with the public ones. From the side of this behavior may seem eccentric, extravagant or even outrageous. But the outrage contradicts the very definition of introversion, so there are no outrageous introverts. Except maybe Marilyn Manson.
â„–6 Introverts closed nerds
They may seem immersed in themselves, but this does not mean that they do not notice what is happening around. Just the opposite - all the same sensitive sensors work without ceasing. Another thing is not all of what is happening around, they consider worthy of their attention.
â„–7 Introverts may stop doing nonsense and behave normally
Not. To demand socialization from them is the same as forcing a turtle to do without its shell.
No. 1 Introverts don't like to talk
It is not true. Introverts don't like chatting. They will be silent until they have something to say. Empty chatter exhausts them. But try to talk with an introvert about what interests him and it will be difficult for you to stop him.
No. 2 Introverts are shy
Shyness is not associated with introversion. Introverts are not afraid of people, but they need a good reason for interaction. They are unlikely to maintain contact with someone just out of politeness or out of consideration for mutually beneficial "friendship."
No. 3 Introverts are rude and don't like people.
No, they do not see the point in social conventions and the exchange of false courtesies. They want everything to be fair. Unfortunately, the world is not so. To behave insincerely - for them a lot of stress, which they prefer to avoid.
â„–4 Introverts do not like to be in public
This is not true. Introverts do not like to be in public for a long time. They need less time to gather information and impressions, and much more to process them. And if it seems to you that this sounds too utilitarian, then yes, it is - they hate the aimless pastime, on the scale of one day, or the whole of life.
â„–5 Introverts Weird
Most often they are individualists. They are little susceptible to herd feelings, focusing on their inner convictions. They think independently, therefore, their judgments often disagree with the public ones. From the side of this behavior may seem eccentric, extravagant or even outrageous. But the outrage contradicts the very definition of introversion, so there are no outrageous introverts. Except maybe Marilyn Manson.
â„–6 Introverts closed nerds
They may seem immersed in themselves, but this does not mean that they do not notice what is happening around. Just the opposite - all the same sensitive sensors work without ceasing. Another thing is not all of what is happening around, they consider worthy of their attention.
â„–7 Introverts may stop doing nonsense and behave normally
Not. To demand socialization from them is the same as forcing a turtle to do without its shell.
Science, bitch
Disclaimer II: I understand that life is not fundamentally binary, but much more diverse. No, I do not propose to divide the world in two. No, I do not claim that "there are two types of people in the world."
Well, let's go to the categories verified.
In cognitive neuroscience, the term "temperament" does not have a universal interpretation. It is often described as “a characteristic way of responding to external stimuli.” These reactions are stable, unchanged, and can be observed soon after birth, and therefore it is assumed that they are genetically determined.
At the same time, the person, the value is not constant and is subject to the influence of parental education, environment and cultural factors. Temperament directly affects the personality, since temperament is set genetically.
Of course, these definitions and theories are disputed to this day, but the first who approached the question empirically was Professor Jerome Kagan, a pioneer in the field of age psychology. Before his research, all theories were based only on opinions.
We will not bore you with a description of experiments, curious people can look here .
During the experiments, in which five hundred four-month-old babies took part, the Kagan group identified two types of behavior — low-reactive behavior, in which infants reacted poorly to stimuli and highly reactive, in which the reaction was clear and prolonged.
Based on the name, one would assume that extroverts will later become babies who hit tears at the sight of a woman in a gas mask. But everything turns out to be exactly the opposite - research continues to this day, and their results give reason to assert that it is from highly reactive babies that introverted individuals grow.
Simultaneously with the observations, measurements of physiological parameters were carried out, the results of which gave reason to believe that highly reactive infants, that is, future introverted individuals, have a more sensitive amygdala .
Thus, people who are prone to introversion, receive much more signals, the processing of which they need more attention, time and energy than extroverts. That is why introverts spend more time thinking than words. And, unfortunately, on the action.
Noise level
In 2001, the Institute of Public Health of Belgrade conducted a study . 123 students (43 men and 80 women) were asked to perform arithmetic in the mind, in quiet and noisy laboratory conditions. Experimental predisposition to a particular type of temperament was determined using the personal questionnaire Eysenk.
Experiments assessed problems with concentration, the level of fatigue and irritation caused by noise, on a 10-point scale.
The group consisting of extroverts coped with tasks much faster, being in noisy conditions. Introverts, on the contrary, experienced problems with concentration, fatigue and irritation in the same conditions.
Correlation analysis revealed a high inverse dependence of extroversion on the noise level.
Strategy
Now that we have learned that introversion is an inherent quality that can interfere with a successful career in the world of extroverts, what can we do about it?
Excerpt from the book about introverts:
“Of course, we allow all gifted loner who create companies in garages to show their personality as they please, but this is rather an exception to the rule - our tolerance usually extends to those who manage to get fabulously rich, or at least on those who give it hope. "
Introverts are often perceived as loners and people who “do not want to play as a team,” but things are not so simple. If you force an introvert to “play in a team,” it will spend more energy on getting into the team than on playing. And this is not a whim and not a flaw, although from the point of view of the corporate world it is just that.
So what to do, to a person who hates empty idle talk about yesterday’s series of “Game of Thrones” or about the new model of iPhone?
Unfortunately, the majority rule applies here - if you are in England, you will have to drive on the left side of the road, no matter how independent your mindset is.
Thus, the only way out is to learn how to work on your “weak” sides and adapt your life cycle to the world of extroverts.
What does this mean in practice?
No matter how much you agree with the concept of polar temperaments, this study shows that introverts will be able to significantly increase their efficiency if they work under controlled noise conditions. For extroverts, the opposite is true. If you are an extrovert, you can be congratulated. Introvers are less fortunate, hardly anyone will create special conditions for them at work. What to do in this case?
Of course, the most obvious solution to the problem of a noisy workplace is to work from home. But, first of all, many introverts know this as well. And secondly, of course, this is not always possible. Therefore, the only solution would be the creation of “security islands”.
Our country is still far from the offices of Google with their recharging capsules , but most likely there are places in your company where you can be alone with you from time to time, for example, meeting rooms. Although this is still a temporary solution, and if you are not the only introvert in your company, it is probably time to discuss this issue with your supervisor. Good bosses are well able to count money, and you will have no problems with arguments in favor of the rationality of organizing recreation places.
Just do not call them places of rest, most likely, the authorities will not be delighted with this term.
Intronet
Here is the opinion of Jason Friedman, the founder of 37signals about why people prefer to work from home:
“Especially it concerns the people of creative professions - designers, programmers, engineers, thinkers. To do the work, they simply need long periods of time when no one will disturb them. You can not ask someone to switch to creative thinking for 15 minutes and think about the problem. Yes, an idea may arise quickly, but usually, in order to really think about a problem, you need to immerse yourself in it, and for this you need time, a lot of time, when no one will disturb you.
And, although a typical working day lasts eight hours, how many people can afford to be alone with their thoughts for eight hours? And seven? And six? Maybe at least five or four?
When was the last time you were left alone for four hours while you were in the office? And two? Or maybe for one? Very, very few people can afford to dive into the problem for several hours while in the office. And that is why people prefer to work at home, or, if they work in an office, to come early in the morning, there is still no one, or vice versa, stay late until everything is gone. Or work on weekends, or on a plane, or in a car, and even on the subway, because there no one will disturb them. ”
And because here we are not talking about introverts. Imagine how imperative it is for them. Indeed, in their case, several more elements are added to the equation - social interactions, the need to play a role and others.
Guy Kawasaki: “It may be hard for you to believe this, but I am an introvert. I have to play a certain “role”, but I'm a loner by nature. ”
Knowing who Guy Kawasaki is, it's really hard to believe. But this is not the only example when a person who has dedicated his life to bringing people together and their efforts is “closed”.
Craig Newmark, the creator of Craigslist, talks about his communication problems and what helped him cope with them.
In 2002, a study was conducted at Bar-Ilan University, which resulted in that it turned out that, firstly, introverts communicate more freely on the Internet than extroverts. And secondly, introverts are more open in communication via the Internet than in “real life”.
This is probably due to the fact that communication via the Internet eliminates the need to observe social rituals, as well as the stress associated with assessment.
“Neither to whom is cabling”
The first step in solving the problem is to formulate it. You are probably not looking at this as a problem. Of course, since we are talking about temperament, what is the problem?
I also thought so, until I had a story from the beginning of the article. And then another one and one more. In the end, it dawned on me that there was a problem and a problem in me.
It doesn’t matter how well you do your job, if you can’t talk about it, preferably just as well.
When I realized that it was more comfortable for me to work from home, that is, under controlled conditions, I hired the best agent I could find. When I watched him “sell” to complete strangers, he seemed to me to be a superman.
But after working with him for a while, I realized that it doesn’t matter to him what to sell and he doesn’t understand anything about what I do. And does not seek to understand. As a result, he made such concessions and accepted conditions that reduced the value of transactions to almost zero. I did not know how to explain to him that the point is not in prices and not in profit.
So, I had three options: try again, find another agent, or learn to talk to people.
I decided that at the age of 27 it was time to be independent, and I took the first step - signed up for courses on negotiations. It is difficult to imagine a place more inappropriate for an introvert than a course on communication with customers.
It is important to note here, I do not consider the achievements of Dale Carnegie enviable. Of course, because they directly contradict my introverted nature. And at the mention of the book “How to make friends and influence people,” my fists involuntarily clench.
But it turned out that not all negotiation systems are based on lies, compromises and manipulations. On the contrary, there are those who criticize such methods.
Search for like-minded people
Of course, the introvert will not be able to “remake himself” and become a sociable extrovert, no matter how hard he tries. In any case, I do not know such examples. But he will have to “learn to drive on the right side of the road,” and the sooner he accepts this, the better for him and his career.
We have already written about the benefits of getting out of the comfort zone, and sign up for courses on negotiations, an excellent example of such practices, but these do not necessarily have to be courses. You can start with small goals.
The Internet is an ideal environment for introvert collaboration, and services like SmartProgress simplify the search for like-minded people.
You have a lot of ideas, but you are afraid that you can not cope alone? Create a goal, describe the essence of the project there and include the status “ looking for a partner ”. Write about your achievements, they will notice you, they will definitely notice you. My friend thanks to SmartProgress found a business partner. I just wrote about my steps and the future partner saw detailed and thoughtful posts that added impressions of a pedantic person about him. And it all came together. He did not present his business to investors, did not look for partners on specialized resources, but simply went towards his goal and noticed his sense of purpose.
Introvers, as a rule, it is difficult to even start looking for like-minded people. Because they do not know how to submit themselves and their project. Or they decided in advance that their ideas would not be interesting to anyone - they are masters of calculating everything in their minds. Or they are afraid that someone will say that this is a “crazy idea” and will confirm their fears.
Ask your friend introvert, probably he has a lot of unrealized "useless ideas." Extroverts know the secret - ideas need to be shared, and they share. Sometimes even with those who did not ask for it. Introverts consider such behavior unacceptable, and PR in any form is akin to boasting for them, which they do not tolerate. Therefore, introverts simply need a business partner extrovert.
At the same time, it is not necessary to sacrifice sincerity - you do not know how to support conversations “about the weather” - no, I still don’t know how. Although someone even writes books on this topic, and someone even reads them.
Introversion and publicity
So far, it seems that introverts have nothing to do in areas that involve "working with people." Is it so? Can an introvert be a successful speaker, politician, entrepreneur, film producer - a word, a person who contacts people most of the time?
The short answer is yes. The answer is genuine - yes, but.
Bill Gates, Ilon Musk, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Guy Kawasaki - if this list does not convince you, I have a few more arguments. Introverts can not only manage companies and people, but often do it better than extroverts. There are at least two explanations for this.
Firstly, thanks to his mindset, introverts, it is important to solve problems and achieve results, not paying attention to their ego. It is not important for them that you complete their task, it is important for them that you complete the task.
Secondly, introverts know about their weaknesses from an early age, so they spend more time preparing, educating and training management and communication skills.
Ilon Musk about how he learned not to seem an introvert .
We are used to imagining leaders exclusively as active, sociable and charismatic "energy drivers". But this is only because in culture these types of leaders are given more attention.
Jim Collins, in his famous book From Good to Great , did not consider the question of extra-or introversion of the “fifth-level leaders,” however, he always ran into the same thing - the personality of the leaders. And among them there were surprisingly few people who spent money on expensive cars, yachts and other external attributes, and in their description the words “modest”, “discreet”, “non-public” appeared.
You can treat this information as unconfirmed rumors or myths, but in my opinion the correlation is more than obvious - introverts do not care about their self-esteem or image, while in the life of an extrovert, the ego plays a significant role.
Of course, image is important for business, and manners are important for business negotiations, because, as we know, even the smartest people make decisions based on emotions. After the deal is concluded, no one cares what you are wearing and what you came to the meeting with. From this point on, only one thing is important. Of course - the result.
Stay with me
I hope you read it to here. I did not set myself to retell the book " Introverts ", I, like many of you are an opponent of simplifications, and I have many complaints about this book, including "American style of presentation." Nevertheless, the book helped me to formulate a problem that I tried not to notice.
Yes, we believe that Americans often over-complicate simple things and then chew them thoroughly, but even in this form, the book makes us think that we cannot control everything, as much as we would like.
You can not just close your eyes to the inconvenience that creates a variety of life and pretend that there is no problem that "Americans always make an elephant out of a fly." Sooner or later, you will realize that you are driving in the oncoming lane, and if you ask me - in my opinion, it is better to understand this before the accident.
I have not learned, and hardly learn to maintain a useless conversation. If only because I can never understand when it is already “enough” and you can get down to business.
I will hardly require extraverts from the world to take into account my features. But I can organize my work so that I have time to recharge.
One of the tips to introverts from the book is to consciously sacrifice your comfort in favor of the results. Yes, after talking with people, introverts need time to recover. But you need to be able to interact with people if you want to achieve something.
If for work you need to communicate with people on the phone, of course, you can delegate this to someone else. I used to do that too. But then I realized that this is a departure from the problem, not a solution. Now I have found a way to do it on my own - I answer calls while standing. I do not know why, but it works.
Knowing the problem, you can come up with a solution, even if it looks stupid from the outside. Turning away from the problem, you may not notice how it grows to a size when it will be difficult to control.
SmartProgress - achieving goals
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Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/242489/
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