How I studied in high school
This article is for those who do not know whether he needs or a higher education. I am in no way trying to say that it is not necessary. Everyone draws conclusions for himself. And maybe not in all universities, as I was.
Back in 2010, I entered the university. My unfortunate 166 points (in 3 subjects) was enough only for MGUPI. This number of points was due to the fact that I went to the university after 2 courses of college and night school, and it so happened that I had something about 2 weeks mixed up with the college session for preparation for the Unified State Examination in all 3 subjects.
')
Mom wanted me to study at MSTU STANKIN, and therefore the original certificate was immediately given there. But my points in the first wave on the budget was not enough. There were several attempts to pick up the certificate, but the acceptance was frozen, urging to wait for the 2nd wave. As a result, almost with a fight, the certificate was given away.
It means that when MGUPI was told to bring documents for enrollment, they were told to look into some office to get a referral to the practice, which was to fill out student cards or something. To which successfully scored. No one remembered.
I entered the IT-7 department (information systems and technologies) at the bachelor's degree. By the way, I still do not know what I should do in this specialty. In this department there are 2 more directions: ACS and robotics. Today, the department is called IT-9: the university rector, who was our manager, quit. of the department. The result was the ownerless department. First, they gave us IT-4, then they took us back, then they called IT-9, and later CB-4. Apparently the prefix KB (computer security) did not fit into the general rule of department names (faculty + number). We stopped at IT 9.
Upon admission we were 11 people. So little due to the fact that we were the first bachelors in IT. And my specialty was non-accredited, but we only learned about this when one dude from the group was unexpectedly taken to the army. Right under the new year, that is, at the end of the call. After this incident, there was a panic that everyone would be taken away. Here the department told us the whole truth and said that they are accredited by spring. Actually, what happened.
We were released in the amount of 4 people. And with the 4th met before the diploma itself.
One girl, who entered the MGUPI with me, was 40 minutes late with the delivery of documents on the budget and was only paid. A guy who was late for about a week promised a bottle and got it on the budget.
A separate day was allocated for physical education in the schedule and there is nothing else but it on that day. We have built a whole building called the “Palace of Sports”. There is a variety of different sections, and there is an open door there. So, as expected, it is new and beautiful. And the building is almost frayed.
So what am I talking about. To qualify, you must attend 13 classes, if you walk steadily every week, then closer to the session, 1-2 weeks are free from physical education. But the first thought that comes to mind is, perhaps, “I want an extra day off every week.” Physical culture is bought, and officially. Set off costs 1.5 thousand of our wooden rubles. At the session you go to the cashier, pay for the re-take, give a subscription to the trainer, which is a check. With a check and record book, you go to the zavkaf, I do not remember the name of the teacher, but he doesn’t seem to work there anymore.
Peripherals. The teacher - the guy who just graduated from this university - almost did not lead the pair, and at the NG session he decided to cut the jackpot and replenish the alcohol reserves. Clung to every word in order to fill up and dilute the bottle. I even asked a question in English. The guy tried hard and got his way. He demanded a bottle of champagne for +1 point.
There is still an interesting character from the evening faculty, occupies a leadership position. For a certain amount is always ready to solve any problem. Failed commission? Not enough points on the budget? Contact us, we'll fix it. This same character did not want to take a late girl on the budget.
And at the PR-6 department, a guy with a heightened zeal studies and works to steal and deceive his department. Namely, it replaces the CPU in the system blocks with the weaker ones, prints photos on the plotter, after convincing that it should be written off and sells the answers to the GOS. If someone from the PR-6 staff is reading this now, then, dude, take action, it's enough to endure it!
One of the scientists throws his students to 35 thousand. He writes them a diploma: an explanatory note with poor design and without a project. About him in more detail below.
Built another academic building, called the laboratory. So, excavated the ground under the foundation, decided that because of the proximity of the river to build so simply impossible. We took a sample of the land, having previously buried everything, and after a year dug up and repeated this procedure. The distance from the main building is no more than 10 meters.
In Moscow, the university has 2 buildings: the main thing is on Sokolniki and a branch on Serpukhovskaya metro station, it is the faculty of secondary special education.
We, the bachelors, went to all couples with a group of specialists who study a year more. Those. We are specialty, but without 1 year. Now the bachelors of this university have a completely different schedule.
If the teachers from the main building wrote SMS that they would not come, then they did not come in silence. To be late for a couple or not to come at all normal for the branch. Late, find students? Bad students, punish!
Only in the 1st semester of the 1st course they gave the schedule in a readable form. At all subsequent times, it was this:
A file with decryption was attached to the subjects, only they showed it only after some time from the beginning of the semester. Regular schedule changes throughout half the semester were normal practice.
Somehow the teacher did not come to the test in the core subject. Looking for how to contact him. The dean's office said that there are no such teachers at all.
And the dean's office set us a schedule for the session on non-existent subject. Surprise! But then the offset was announced in the schedule is not valid, although not affixed. Knowing my university, you rejoice that you are not hanged as debt.
In the last year I was taught “Microcontrollers and their software”. For some mysterious reasons for the exam did not bring statements from the main building of the university. Handed over the whole group of 4 people. I am 5, the others are 4. And in the list all 4. I went to swear at the dean's office, to the main building, they sent to the teacher at the branch, from which they called and asked to correct, but they did not fix it.
They said that before the diploma the last semester without a session and all under the writing of the diploma. After a couple of weeks, it turned out that the semester is academic, but short and the session will be in the middle of April. Like a bachelor, a curriculum has been cut, bla-bla-bla, minus 2 heads of diploma, bla-bla-bla, nothing terrible, you can handle.
The session is coming. I come to the dean's office - “guys, but where is the schedule?” The deputy dean (or whatever I don’t know him exactly, but he is from our department) is a very unpleasant character, throughout the dialogue I wanted to hit him on the face with something. I think not only did I have such a desire. Siy dude stubbornly pretended not to understand what I mean. When he was almost forced to call the pulpit, he began to do something. A little later, moved another month. The session began in May. Check out credits per day. We laid the entire session a week.
At the graduation ceremony it turned out that someone had hitched and, to my diploma, had a blue cover. She had to be changed every other day.
Immediately after the Olympiad, rumors reached me about the start-up of the “smart house”, which was essentially the same as my diploma. This is very alarming and as it turned out a little later, not in vain. Then she learned about the topic and a genuine interest appeared in my person.
We studied in the first half of the day, then in the second, and sometimes even mixed.
It turned out that no one ever knows anything.
There were many postgraduate teachers who were convinced that the size of the HDD does not exceed 10GB, and that RAM is of the type DIMM or SIMM.
The guy who lectured on networking was googled with every question from students. Complete lack of understanding of what is happening.
Another such one taught Borland C ++. At all requests to stop raping the corpse, the guy honestly said that he did not know anything else, so rejoice the student that at least I read something. He also has a laptop with an LPT port! No, this is his personal laptop.
At IB, they told about backup servers on the CD. Actual and modern, damn it! At the 1st and 3rd year we were taught a little bit by C ++. In the remaining years, we wrote a calculator on Delphi and moved the quad on the molds. And for the 2 exams and the course did the same project.
On the subject of "Operating Systems" we passed, what is DNS and DHCP, but not the architecture of the OS. The teacher has a very interesting pronunciation, for example, DHCP “DHTsP” sounds in his mouth. He also taught programming for Android.
And on the computer architecture, we learned what EDS is. While he led the pair, he strongly hinted to the students to stop going to the pair. Somehow he said it directly, but very carefully - who does not want, can not walk and sleep at home, always get his unfortunate test, well, maybe you will have to wash the floor or have him buy it. And a lot of aggression came from a person.
At the beginning of the semester, the teacher skipped lectures for the entire semester on subjects about information systems, and then we copied the teacher's book into a notebook and periodically on a separate sheet of paper and handed it to him. In these lectures, in some places, versions of software, for example, MS Office 97, skipped.
In the 3rd year, Android programming was taught. The teacher was very epic. He himself wrote only a calculator, task manager and tic-tac-toe. He demanded from us MS file readers, games, file encryption. I called a student with good handwriting on pairs to rewrite the xml-nick on the board. So it was on all the pairs that I visited, there were about 5. I do not think that on other methods was different. Generally, the rewriting of cheeses by hand on the board is a process of very dubious utility.
There was also Easter eggs. Give him credit through a scanned and recognized book of 100,500 pages. There were many who wished. This fellow forgot to enter grades into the list of students who scan books; he just went to another city. After taking credit from us, I decided to try iOS programming for the next year. It is logical that, did not grow together with Android - it grows together with iOS. This he writes a diploma for denyuzhku.
Most of the core subjects were read in a very monotonous style, which gradually put to sleep, however, such teachers were only for, if no one came.
While I was working in the laboratory at the department, some pairs were led by the head of the laboratory and just at that time the robotics laboratory was born. Someone needs to take out the garbage, shift the paper and all that. The head of the laboratory put into practice his cunning plan - namely, to get 2 credits (circuit engineering and programming with Qt), it was necessary to write a receipt that, they say, I undertake to work 64 hours for the benefit of the department. Students had to work out, basically they were taking out the garbage, moving furniture.
In the process of learning, there were many left-wing subjects (especially in the first year): ethics, cultural studies, psychology, global conflicts of the 20-21 centuries, sociology of management, Russian language and culture of speech, philosophy, economics, law, eclogy, bzhd, national history. Some of this is on any other specialty, but we somehow had a lot of left-handed subjects.
At the first 2 pairs of cultural studies, when we were sitting a whole stream, the teacher in turn called for herself, interrogated, and also wrote down: what is the name, what are you doing, what interests. Then there was the task to visit the museum and write an essay. And then draw your family tree. And of course all this is to pass her.
On ethics, the teacher considered it his duty to give a pointer to the appearance in the university. And at the lectures he told that one should never give up his place in transport to anyone, since you lose your comfort zone. As a result, he was fired and gave us away to a strange young lady with the name Albin. This young lady taught as much as she could. I had to learn a little non-historical facts from ancient Greece. And, of course, abstracts! Abstracts!
She also led seminars on psychology and took credit there. The test lasted for about 10 hours. The bottom line is that the lecture and seminars were conducted by 2 teachers: Albina - seminars, and lectures - a peasant obsessed with the army, and we listened to how he served, how he fought, raised children / dog, planted a tree, built a house. But on such lectures could score, and sleep an extra hour at home.
The economy went a whole year. At first, the semester was led by a grandmother, who demanded to write down the definitions and values ​​on cardboard cards. And then the person who every time, the day before his couples, sent me a text message with the text of something like “guys, I got sick and do not learn tomorrow”. Then I wrote him a text message with "we will not come", to which he replied "ok." And then he gave us all what they wanted.
According to history, a woman on the very first couple declared that their pulpit is honest and does not take bribes, but the army is waiting for everyone.
At the 2nd course, as many as 3 subjects were led by the deputy head of the cafe, Milena Batkovna. Sociology of management, sociology and political science, and something on spetsuhe. The young lady is all of herself: do not sleep with a couple, do not communicate, do not listen to music, do not pause your phone / tablet and do not even think about being late. Get out on the phone? - It is impossible! In the toilet? - We need to think, but better forget about it. At the same time, she herself will be late for a couple of hours, talk half an hour and go home. Required to bring the projector and computer. The computer for the projector is a desktop, although it has its own netbook. But he doesn’t remain idle: while the lab technician is working as a slide switch on the projector, she reads the same text from a pretzel on a netbook. On the slides there is a long post, and she reads it. Graz, we cannot read, read to us, oh, madam! Settlement without essay will not be! Your essay downloaded, remake! Once again you will be late - I won't let you go for a couple!
Jurisprudence. A young lady like “Albina”, only religion does not allow washing this head. Also screams constantly. And also late - write explanatory. 3 absenteeism and offset will not. She led on Saturdays from 9 am and only 2 pairs, and there are no other couples on this day. A few breaks. You can cheat on hooky, enough will be remembered by her. Closer to the test sent to take tests on the web on a pair. Another action: write 3 tests for a good grade and get it off early. If it were slightly smarter, students would not be able to edit the source of the page.
Global conflicts. Another "Albina". Her zest in the run of abstracts through anti-plagiarism. Less than 75% - go and redo! Write a summary, keep quiet and do not sleep.
Campaign they are all from the humanities departments. Aggression and more aggression.
Maths. Led her 3 teachers for 3 years. Discrete, probability theory, mat analysis, linear analysis. By linear analysis, a cool aunt from Moscow State University, but the test was severe. Exam format: first, problems, you decide on 4+, you pass to the next round, in which you can get these 4-5, having passed the theory. The phone and other gadgets were not forbidden, even though the textbook use.
In the 3rd year, for about 3 months she worked as a laboratory assistant at the department. When the device I was promised that we will cut robots. They gave me a task to deal with the Player / Stage simulator, namely, to translate the manual, to make a test program and the installation manual. Constantly in a hurry. Well, okay, the task was completed, but as it turned out, nobody needs it. Further, the entire department was engaged in the design of some papers, and this project is still no one remembered.
Since it was not necessary at the university, I decided to post it to my blog .
This is all dull and dull, because the work had to be changed. By the way, this is slave labor - they don’t pay, it’s not interesting, and dubious buns.
And after the 1st year we had a practice in the selection committee. We, as a free slave force, distributed leaflets, drove students' data into the database, answered questions and all that. All summer, 2 weeks per student, in shifts. And we were grazed by a man from the evening department (I wrote about him in corruption). I purposefully squinted and achieved what I wanted - I was sent out to answer questions and give out flyers. There I slept on a bench, hiding myself in this very leaflet, since it is like a newspaper spread. And practice in session. Hand over the session and hand out leaflets! Applicants came with the whole family to apply and all the mountains of stupid questions. Do you have to take the drawing? Is math complicated? And I will become a hacker? Will they teach programming? And how much is the average score now? Here to me, from the street, the average score is perfectly visible.
Before NG raised a panic with pre-diploma practice. It was rumored that the university would distribute somewhere or urgently need to write a statement about the passage at work. Immediately went to ping the scientist. After a couple of days, I sent the sample and to the sample I made a paragraph of edits. Sample, of course, in JPG. After an unreadable class schedule, I was not even surprised. At work, made, printed, signed and referred to the scientist. It turned out to be a practice after the summer session. The practice was only on paper. But on the department's website, in the lists of places of passage, all students had a certain office called LEAD LLC. What is this and what - no one explained.
Diploma: "Developing an integrated modular hardware and software system for maintaining comfortable living conditions and self-care facilities for people with Parkinson's disease."
When choosing a teacher of options was a little more than nothing. A scientist can be any teacher from the department who has a degree. I hardly know anyone, since teachers with a scientific degree almost did not lead, for there is a cool workforce in the person of graduate students. As an option, there was a teacher who led the development of Android and iOS, but he is very muddy (it was written about him above).
The steering laboratory of the department was chosen as a scientist. As it turned out, he does not have the right to conduct graduate students. There is no academic degree, he also considers himself the smartest of all, which is why his students have a special approach to the department.
How did I even know that the scientist should have a degree: at the winter session, at the OS standings, the teacher asked: “Did I write a statement to the dean's office with a diploma topic, who is the scientist and what topic?” It turned out that I had to write statement. Shta Statement? And what, I do not know? And why does the scientist freeze? He sent for info to the governor. So I learned about its existence. Zavkaf changed shortly before this point. The woman is quite pleasant to talk to. She told that all graduates from the specialty wrote this application. She also said that the scientist should have a degree, but I don’t have one. And as I understood, they have such a good conflict. As it turned out, a little later, he wrote a statement with the topics himself and took them to the dean's office. Here is a surprise so surprise. But you could at least say it ?!
Scientist wrote down his account in vk.com and created a group with his graduates. He explained that it would be easier for us to find it. The benefits of the group never caught sight, it was abandoned a month later. He did not always reply to messages in vk, sometimes he read once a week. Actually, the closer to the defense, the more frost. By phone is available only on weekdays.
And we had a pre-defense. Its defense is extremely difficult to call. Nauchnik said that this is a rehearsal of the defense itself, so you have to be ready to defend yourself. Well, OK.
As it really was.
Started only an hour after the stated time. Log in for 3 people, to show an explanatory note, take the requirement for regulatory control and all. Uhhhh, rehearsal protection ?! For those who had a bad note, they poured and still allowed to be protected. And I dragged a full backpack of glands in addition to mukalatury. As it turned out, nothing pulling.
For protection, it was necessary to collect several more signatures and carry them to the dean's office. So, do not like the design, redo it. Wrong again? Well, do it a few more times. And some students reprinted almost an infinite number of times. One did not want to admit because of the phase of the moon. Another protupil with the timing of the filing of all the papers and still allowed. I brought these papers in the last minutes of the work of the dean's office and as it turned out, it was very on time. To protect the diploma, the dean's office issues personal files for students who include a record book, a calculated average score, a diploma review, and something else. These personal matters must be taken by someone and taken to the branch, where the defense will be held. Everyone forgot about these personal matters or scored. So who needs that and carry it. Of course I need to.
On the same day I learned that the defense is tomorrow. Although the scientist said that the day after tomorrow. Just think, wrong, what nonsense. Having brought personal affairs to the department, the dude from the dean's office, whom he wanted to hit from the doorway, declared, “For diploma 2!”. He did not answer anything, and it is so difficult for him to stand from alcohol. Left the package, going to leave. I started yelling that I was trying to give a bribe to him and to take the empty bag. Again I wanted to hit. In general, during all 4 years I wanted to hit a lot of people. This character also sat on the commission in my defense.
And on the same day she asked the scientist whether it was necessary to cover the clearing of the commission and the flowers to the women. To which he replied - I do not know, the campaign is not necessary. This brought to doubt, did the mountain themselves bring together gore and alcohol. That same evening, she called the dude from the commission, this is just another deputy dean, and again from our department. As if cho to beat around the bush, asked directly what to bear to protect. He was taken aback from my directness, said something about mineral water, and the rest said welcome.
The defense also began an hour later from the stated time, and then I had to ping several times. In addition to four of us, there is still a part of the specialty, who did not succeed on the eve of the campaign, and external students. Who and when defended decided themselves.
How should the protection take place - a student comes in and pokes a USB flash drive into a laptop, launches his presentation and tells. If you have something to show, it shows. Moreover, for all 7 minutes. The commission interrupted the students at any time, as they tired of listening. Or ask a provocative question from the very beginning in the spirit, but what the hell is this? And after falling asleep with questions, if for some reason the student or subject is not pleasing.
And this is how my defense went.
The main part of my defense is a demonstration of the project. Or rather, blink with a light bulb and show scarves. Asked for extra time to connect the iron. What they said, then why the presentation, let's demonstration! How it works: the raspberry is connected to the router, the radio module is connected to the raspberry. The client device connects to the network from the router. The user clicks on the buttons in the web panel and the light on / off. The rest I will not paint, because it is still not completed, does not work and all that.
I assembled all this construction, and put the router near the cooler of the projector. Well, there was very little space. He overheated terribly during the time he was collecting - and did not respond at all. What I was told to sit here and wait until it cools down. They want to play light bulb! During this time, while he was cooling down, I listened to how the defense of others was going through, this was already written a little higher.
And they said that on the department website they will write the deadline for submitting the application to the magistracy. But, of course, did not write anything. And I scored on it.
A year ago, the university closed the casino ! At the branch they handed over the premises to someone, but nobody knew what they were doing there. When they had almost built a secret underground passage, the casinos were burned and closed. Some time later, the rector seemed to have merged for health reasons.
When the anti-tobacco law began to appear, they forbade smoking in the chaotic part of the yard in the university. Only in the space provided. If you smoke in any other, then a person standing nearby with a camera will capture and refer you to the dean's office. Hi, reprimand! Like 2 reprimand and sack, documents in hands and Yankees go home.
The university held an annual mathematics Olympiad. Awarded a diploma and a bonus on the exam. Participated 1 time, gave the letter for the task solved only by me. However, at such an Olympiad, only diplomas were awarded to all. But once held an IT Olympiad, I was already graduating. In addition to the certificates for the first three places gave a laptop, tablet and phone. What causes suspicions, for which they have spent the money.
I took 2nd place, because of which the entire administration of the university suddenly found out about me immediately. In addition, I was declared a very good girl and in general almost a saint. At any opportunity, they announced publicly what place I had taken. For 2nd place I got a small iPad with a retina.
Perhaps this is somehow related to the casino, but the university absorbed MIREA. MGUPI died, comrades! Hello, diploma of a non-existent university!
1. Under no circumstances give the original certificate when submitting the application.
2. Not taught, but almost did not interfere.
3. Get to the bottom of everything and everyone to get an answer to your question!
4. Agree on everything and everywhere!
5. Getting a diploma is not difficult.
UPD:
Lexfrei , September 2, 2014 at 01:29 #
I will add about the corruption in this university:
I was expelled for not wanting to bribe. He was not admitted to the session for formal reasons, then drove for 2 months with formulations like "you have the wrong color here, go update." Dean is up to date.
About admission
Back in 2010, I entered the university. My unfortunate 166 points (in 3 subjects) was enough only for MGUPI. This number of points was due to the fact that I went to the university after 2 courses of college and night school, and it so happened that I had something about 2 weeks mixed up with the college session for preparation for the Unified State Examination in all 3 subjects.
')
Mom wanted me to study at MSTU STANKIN, and therefore the original certificate was immediately given there. But my points in the first wave on the budget was not enough. There were several attempts to pick up the certificate, but the acceptance was frozen, urging to wait for the 2nd wave. As a result, almost with a fight, the certificate was given away.
It means that when MGUPI was told to bring documents for enrollment, they were told to look into some office to get a referral to the practice, which was to fill out student cards or something. To which successfully scored. No one remembered.
I entered the IT-7 department (information systems and technologies) at the bachelor's degree. By the way, I still do not know what I should do in this specialty. In this department there are 2 more directions: ACS and robotics. Today, the department is called IT-9: the university rector, who was our manager, quit. of the department. The result was the ownerless department. First, they gave us IT-4, then they took us back, then they called IT-9, and later CB-4. Apparently the prefix KB (computer security) did not fit into the general rule of department names (faculty + number). We stopped at IT 9.
Upon admission we were 11 people. So little due to the fact that we were the first bachelors in IT. And my specialty was non-accredited, but we only learned about this when one dude from the group was unexpectedly taken to the army. Right under the new year, that is, at the end of the call. After this incident, there was a panic that everyone would be taken away. Here the department told us the whole truth and said that they are accredited by spring. Actually, what happened.
We were released in the amount of 4 people. And with the 4th met before the diploma itself.
About corruption
One girl, who entered the MGUPI with me, was 40 minutes late with the delivery of documents on the budget and was only paid. A guy who was late for about a week promised a bottle and got it on the budget.
A separate day was allocated for physical education in the schedule and there is nothing else but it on that day. We have built a whole building called the “Palace of Sports”. There is a variety of different sections, and there is an open door there. So, as expected, it is new and beautiful. And the building is almost frayed.
So what am I talking about. To qualify, you must attend 13 classes, if you walk steadily every week, then closer to the session, 1-2 weeks are free from physical education. But the first thought that comes to mind is, perhaps, “I want an extra day off every week.” Physical culture is bought, and officially. Set off costs 1.5 thousand of our wooden rubles. At the session you go to the cashier, pay for the re-take, give a subscription to the trainer, which is a check. With a check and record book, you go to the zavkaf, I do not remember the name of the teacher, but he doesn’t seem to work there anymore.
Peripherals. The teacher - the guy who just graduated from this university - almost did not lead the pair, and at the NG session he decided to cut the jackpot and replenish the alcohol reserves. Clung to every word in order to fill up and dilute the bottle. I even asked a question in English. The guy tried hard and got his way. He demanded a bottle of champagne for +1 point.
There is still an interesting character from the evening faculty, occupies a leadership position. For a certain amount is always ready to solve any problem. Failed commission? Not enough points on the budget? Contact us, we'll fix it. This same character did not want to take a late girl on the budget.
And at the PR-6 department, a guy with a heightened zeal studies and works to steal and deceive his department. Namely, it replaces the CPU in the system blocks with the weaker ones, prints photos on the plotter, after convincing that it should be written off and sells the answers to the GOS. If someone from the PR-6 staff is reading this now, then, dude, take action, it's enough to endure it!
One of the scientists throws his students to 35 thousand. He writes them a diploma: an explanatory note with poor design and without a project. About him in more detail below.
Built another academic building, called the laboratory. So, excavated the ground under the foundation, decided that because of the proximity of the river to build so simply impossible. We took a sample of the land, having previously buried everything, and after a year dug up and repeated this procedure. The distance from the main building is no more than 10 meters.
On the organization of the educational process
In Moscow, the university has 2 buildings: the main thing is on Sokolniki and a branch on Serpukhovskaya metro station, it is the faculty of secondary special education.
We, the bachelors, went to all couples with a group of specialists who study a year more. Those. We are specialty, but without 1 year. Now the bachelors of this university have a completely different schedule.
If the teachers from the main building wrote SMS that they would not come, then they did not come in silence. To be late for a couple or not to come at all normal for the branch. Late, find students? Bad students, punish!
Only in the 1st semester of the 1st course they gave the schedule in a readable form. At all subsequent times, it was this:
A file with decryption was attached to the subjects, only they showed it only after some time from the beginning of the semester. Regular schedule changes throughout half the semester were normal practice.
Somehow the teacher did not come to the test in the core subject. Looking for how to contact him. The dean's office said that there are no such teachers at all.
And the dean's office set us a schedule for the session on non-existent subject. Surprise! But then the offset was announced in the schedule is not valid, although not affixed. Knowing my university, you rejoice that you are not hanged as debt.
In the last year I was taught “Microcontrollers and their software”. For some mysterious reasons for the exam did not bring statements from the main building of the university. Handed over the whole group of 4 people. I am 5, the others are 4. And in the list all 4. I went to swear at the dean's office, to the main building, they sent to the teacher at the branch, from which they called and asked to correct, but they did not fix it.
They said that before the diploma the last semester without a session and all under the writing of the diploma. After a couple of weeks, it turned out that the semester is academic, but short and the session will be in the middle of April. Like a bachelor, a curriculum has been cut, bla-bla-bla, minus 2 heads of diploma, bla-bla-bla, nothing terrible, you can handle.
The session is coming. I come to the dean's office - “guys, but where is the schedule?” The deputy dean (or whatever I don’t know him exactly, but he is from our department) is a very unpleasant character, throughout the dialogue I wanted to hit him on the face with something. I think not only did I have such a desire. Siy dude stubbornly pretended not to understand what I mean. When he was almost forced to call the pulpit, he began to do something. A little later, moved another month. The session began in May. Check out credits per day. We laid the entire session a week.
At the graduation ceremony it turned out that someone had hitched and, to my diploma, had a blue cover. She had to be changed every other day.
Immediately after the Olympiad, rumors reached me about the start-up of the “smart house”, which was essentially the same as my diploma. This is very alarming and as it turned out a little later, not in vain. Then she learned about the topic and a genuine interest appeared in my person.
We studied in the first half of the day, then in the second, and sometimes even mixed.
It turned out that no one ever knows anything.
About specialized subjects
There were many postgraduate teachers who were convinced that the size of the HDD does not exceed 10GB, and that RAM is of the type DIMM or SIMM.
The guy who lectured on networking was googled with every question from students. Complete lack of understanding of what is happening.
Another such one taught Borland C ++. At all requests to stop raping the corpse, the guy honestly said that he did not know anything else, so rejoice the student that at least I read something. He also has a laptop with an LPT port! No, this is his personal laptop.
At IB, they told about backup servers on the CD. Actual and modern, damn it! At the 1st and 3rd year we were taught a little bit by C ++. In the remaining years, we wrote a calculator on Delphi and moved the quad on the molds. And for the 2 exams and the course did the same project.
On the subject of "Operating Systems" we passed, what is DNS and DHCP, but not the architecture of the OS. The teacher has a very interesting pronunciation, for example, DHCP “DHTsP” sounds in his mouth. He also taught programming for Android.
And on the computer architecture, we learned what EDS is. While he led the pair, he strongly hinted to the students to stop going to the pair. Somehow he said it directly, but very carefully - who does not want, can not walk and sleep at home, always get his unfortunate test, well, maybe you will have to wash the floor or have him buy it. And a lot of aggression came from a person.
At the beginning of the semester, the teacher skipped lectures for the entire semester on subjects about information systems, and then we copied the teacher's book into a notebook and periodically on a separate sheet of paper and handed it to him. In these lectures, in some places, versions of software, for example, MS Office 97, skipped.
In the 3rd year, Android programming was taught. The teacher was very epic. He himself wrote only a calculator, task manager and tic-tac-toe. He demanded from us MS file readers, games, file encryption. I called a student with good handwriting on pairs to rewrite the xml-nick on the board. So it was on all the pairs that I visited, there were about 5. I do not think that on other methods was different. Generally, the rewriting of cheeses by hand on the board is a process of very dubious utility.
There was also Easter eggs. Give him credit through a scanned and recognized book of 100,500 pages. There were many who wished. This fellow forgot to enter grades into the list of students who scan books; he just went to another city. After taking credit from us, I decided to try iOS programming for the next year. It is logical that, did not grow together with Android - it grows together with iOS. This he writes a diploma for denyuzhku.
Most of the core subjects were read in a very monotonous style, which gradually put to sleep, however, such teachers were only for, if no one came.
While I was working in the laboratory at the department, some pairs were led by the head of the laboratory and just at that time the robotics laboratory was born. Someone needs to take out the garbage, shift the paper and all that. The head of the laboratory put into practice his cunning plan - namely, to get 2 credits (circuit engineering and programming with Qt), it was necessary to write a receipt that, they say, I undertake to work 64 hours for the benefit of the department. Students had to work out, basically they were taking out the garbage, moving furniture.
About other subjects
In the process of learning, there were many left-wing subjects (especially in the first year): ethics, cultural studies, psychology, global conflicts of the 20-21 centuries, sociology of management, Russian language and culture of speech, philosophy, economics, law, eclogy, bzhd, national history. Some of this is on any other specialty, but we somehow had a lot of left-handed subjects.
At the first 2 pairs of cultural studies, when we were sitting a whole stream, the teacher in turn called for herself, interrogated, and also wrote down: what is the name, what are you doing, what interests. Then there was the task to visit the museum and write an essay. And then draw your family tree. And of course all this is to pass her.
On ethics, the teacher considered it his duty to give a pointer to the appearance in the university. And at the lectures he told that one should never give up his place in transport to anyone, since you lose your comfort zone. As a result, he was fired and gave us away to a strange young lady with the name Albin. This young lady taught as much as she could. I had to learn a little non-historical facts from ancient Greece. And, of course, abstracts! Abstracts!
She also led seminars on psychology and took credit there. The test lasted for about 10 hours. The bottom line is that the lecture and seminars were conducted by 2 teachers: Albina - seminars, and lectures - a peasant obsessed with the army, and we listened to how he served, how he fought, raised children / dog, planted a tree, built a house. But on such lectures could score, and sleep an extra hour at home.
The economy went a whole year. At first, the semester was led by a grandmother, who demanded to write down the definitions and values ​​on cardboard cards. And then the person who every time, the day before his couples, sent me a text message with the text of something like “guys, I got sick and do not learn tomorrow”. Then I wrote him a text message with "we will not come", to which he replied "ok." And then he gave us all what they wanted.
According to history, a woman on the very first couple declared that their pulpit is honest and does not take bribes, but the army is waiting for everyone.
At the 2nd course, as many as 3 subjects were led by the deputy head of the cafe, Milena Batkovna. Sociology of management, sociology and political science, and something on spetsuhe. The young lady is all of herself: do not sleep with a couple, do not communicate, do not listen to music, do not pause your phone / tablet and do not even think about being late. Get out on the phone? - It is impossible! In the toilet? - We need to think, but better forget about it. At the same time, she herself will be late for a couple of hours, talk half an hour and go home. Required to bring the projector and computer. The computer for the projector is a desktop, although it has its own netbook. But he doesn’t remain idle: while the lab technician is working as a slide switch on the projector, she reads the same text from a pretzel on a netbook. On the slides there is a long post, and she reads it. Graz, we cannot read, read to us, oh, madam! Settlement without essay will not be! Your essay downloaded, remake! Once again you will be late - I won't let you go for a couple!
Jurisprudence. A young lady like “Albina”, only religion does not allow washing this head. Also screams constantly. And also late - write explanatory. 3 absenteeism and offset will not. She led on Saturdays from 9 am and only 2 pairs, and there are no other couples on this day. A few breaks. You can cheat on hooky, enough will be remembered by her. Closer to the test sent to take tests on the web on a pair. Another action: write 3 tests for a good grade and get it off early. If it were slightly smarter, students would not be able to edit the source of the page.
Global conflicts. Another "Albina". Her zest in the run of abstracts through anti-plagiarism. Less than 75% - go and redo! Write a summary, keep quiet and do not sleep.
Campaign they are all from the humanities departments. Aggression and more aggression.
Maths. Led her 3 teachers for 3 years. Discrete, probability theory, mat analysis, linear analysis. By linear analysis, a cool aunt from Moscow State University, but the test was severe. Exam format: first, problems, you decide on 4+, you pass to the next round, in which you can get these 4-5, having passed the theory. The phone and other gadgets were not forbidden, even though the textbook use.
About the work at the department
In the 3rd year, for about 3 months she worked as a laboratory assistant at the department. When the device I was promised that we will cut robots. They gave me a task to deal with the Player / Stage simulator, namely, to translate the manual, to make a test program and the installation manual. Constantly in a hurry. Well, okay, the task was completed, but as it turned out, nobody needs it. Further, the entire department was engaged in the design of some papers, and this project is still no one remembered.
Since it was not necessary at the university, I decided to post it to my blog .
This is all dull and dull, because the work had to be changed. By the way, this is slave labor - they don’t pay, it’s not interesting, and dubious buns.
About practice
And after the 1st year we had a practice in the selection committee. We, as a free slave force, distributed leaflets, drove students' data into the database, answered questions and all that. All summer, 2 weeks per student, in shifts. And we were grazed by a man from the evening department (I wrote about him in corruption). I purposefully squinted and achieved what I wanted - I was sent out to answer questions and give out flyers. There I slept on a bench, hiding myself in this very leaflet, since it is like a newspaper spread. And practice in session. Hand over the session and hand out leaflets! Applicants came with the whole family to apply and all the mountains of stupid questions. Do you have to take the drawing? Is math complicated? And I will become a hacker? Will they teach programming? And how much is the average score now? Here to me, from the street, the average score is perfectly visible.
Before NG raised a panic with pre-diploma practice. It was rumored that the university would distribute somewhere or urgently need to write a statement about the passage at work. Immediately went to ping the scientist. After a couple of days, I sent the sample and to the sample I made a paragraph of edits. Sample, of course, in JPG. After an unreadable class schedule, I was not even surprised. At work, made, printed, signed and referred to the scientist. It turned out to be a practice after the summer session. The practice was only on paper. But on the department's website, in the lists of places of passage, all students had a certain office called LEAD LLC. What is this and what - no one explained.
About the diploma
Diploma: "Developing an integrated modular hardware and software system for maintaining comfortable living conditions and self-care facilities for people with Parkinson's disease."
When choosing a teacher of options was a little more than nothing. A scientist can be any teacher from the department who has a degree. I hardly know anyone, since teachers with a scientific degree almost did not lead, for there is a cool workforce in the person of graduate students. As an option, there was a teacher who led the development of Android and iOS, but he is very muddy (it was written about him above).
The steering laboratory of the department was chosen as a scientist. As it turned out, he does not have the right to conduct graduate students. There is no academic degree, he also considers himself the smartest of all, which is why his students have a special approach to the department.
How did I even know that the scientist should have a degree: at the winter session, at the OS standings, the teacher asked: “Did I write a statement to the dean's office with a diploma topic, who is the scientist and what topic?” It turned out that I had to write statement. Shta Statement? And what, I do not know? And why does the scientist freeze? He sent for info to the governor. So I learned about its existence. Zavkaf changed shortly before this point. The woman is quite pleasant to talk to. She told that all graduates from the specialty wrote this application. She also said that the scientist should have a degree, but I don’t have one. And as I understood, they have such a good conflict. As it turned out, a little later, he wrote a statement with the topics himself and took them to the dean's office. Here is a surprise so surprise. But you could at least say it ?!
Scientist wrote down his account in vk.com and created a group with his graduates. He explained that it would be easier for us to find it. The benefits of the group never caught sight, it was abandoned a month later. He did not always reply to messages in vk, sometimes he read once a week. Actually, the closer to the defense, the more frost. By phone is available only on weekdays.
And we had a pre-defense. Its defense is extremely difficult to call. Nauchnik said that this is a rehearsal of the defense itself, so you have to be ready to defend yourself. Well, OK.
As it really was.
Started only an hour after the stated time. Log in for 3 people, to show an explanatory note, take the requirement for regulatory control and all. Uhhhh, rehearsal protection ?! For those who had a bad note, they poured and still allowed to be protected. And I dragged a full backpack of glands in addition to mukalatury. As it turned out, nothing pulling.
For protection, it was necessary to collect several more signatures and carry them to the dean's office. So, do not like the design, redo it. Wrong again? Well, do it a few more times. And some students reprinted almost an infinite number of times. One did not want to admit because of the phase of the moon. Another protupil with the timing of the filing of all the papers and still allowed. I brought these papers in the last minutes of the work of the dean's office and as it turned out, it was very on time. To protect the diploma, the dean's office issues personal files for students who include a record book, a calculated average score, a diploma review, and something else. These personal matters must be taken by someone and taken to the branch, where the defense will be held. Everyone forgot about these personal matters or scored. So who needs that and carry it. Of course I need to.
On the same day I learned that the defense is tomorrow. Although the scientist said that the day after tomorrow. Just think, wrong, what nonsense. Having brought personal affairs to the department, the dude from the dean's office, whom he wanted to hit from the doorway, declared, “For diploma 2!”. He did not answer anything, and it is so difficult for him to stand from alcohol. Left the package, going to leave. I started yelling that I was trying to give a bribe to him and to take the empty bag. Again I wanted to hit. In general, during all 4 years I wanted to hit a lot of people. This character also sat on the commission in my defense.
And on the same day she asked the scientist whether it was necessary to cover the clearing of the commission and the flowers to the women. To which he replied - I do not know, the campaign is not necessary. This brought to doubt, did the mountain themselves bring together gore and alcohol. That same evening, she called the dude from the commission, this is just another deputy dean, and again from our department. As if cho to beat around the bush, asked directly what to bear to protect. He was taken aback from my directness, said something about mineral water, and the rest said welcome.
The defense also began an hour later from the stated time, and then I had to ping several times. In addition to four of us, there is still a part of the specialty, who did not succeed on the eve of the campaign, and external students. Who and when defended decided themselves.
How should the protection take place - a student comes in and pokes a USB flash drive into a laptop, launches his presentation and tells. If you have something to show, it shows. Moreover, for all 7 minutes. The commission interrupted the students at any time, as they tired of listening. Or ask a provocative question from the very beginning in the spirit, but what the hell is this? And after falling asleep with questions, if for some reason the student or subject is not pleasing.
And this is how my defense went.
The main part of my defense is a demonstration of the project. Or rather, blink with a light bulb and show scarves. Asked for extra time to connect the iron. What they said, then why the presentation, let's demonstration! How it works: the raspberry is connected to the router, the radio module is connected to the raspberry. The client device connects to the network from the router. The user clicks on the buttons in the web panel and the light on / off. The rest I will not paint, because it is still not completed, does not work and all that.
I assembled all this construction, and put the router near the cooler of the projector. Well, there was very little space. He overheated terribly during the time he was collecting - and did not respond at all. What I was told to sit here and wait until it cools down. They want to play light bulb! During this time, while he was cooling down, I listened to how the defense of others was going through, this was already written a little higher.
And they said that on the department website they will write the deadline for submitting the application to the magistracy. But, of course, did not write anything. And I scored on it.
About different
A year ago, the university closed the casino ! At the branch they handed over the premises to someone, but nobody knew what they were doing there. When they had almost built a secret underground passage, the casinos were burned and closed. Some time later, the rector seemed to have merged for health reasons.
When the anti-tobacco law began to appear, they forbade smoking in the chaotic part of the yard in the university. Only in the space provided. If you smoke in any other, then a person standing nearby with a camera will capture and refer you to the dean's office. Hi, reprimand! Like 2 reprimand and sack, documents in hands and Yankees go home.
The university held an annual mathematics Olympiad. Awarded a diploma and a bonus on the exam. Participated 1 time, gave the letter for the task solved only by me. However, at such an Olympiad, only diplomas were awarded to all. But once held an IT Olympiad, I was already graduating. In addition to the certificates for the first three places gave a laptop, tablet and phone. What causes suspicions, for which they have spent the money.
I took 2nd place, because of which the entire administration of the university suddenly found out about me immediately. In addition, I was declared a very good girl and in general almost a saint. At any opportunity, they announced publicly what place I had taken. For 2nd place I got a small iPad with a retina.
Perhaps this is somehow related to the casino, but the university absorbed MIREA. MGUPI died, comrades! Hello, diploma of a non-existent university!
findings
1. Under no circumstances give the original certificate when submitting the application.
2. Not taught, but almost did not interfere.
3. Get to the bottom of everything and everyone to get an answer to your question!
4. Agree on everything and everywhere!
5. Getting a diploma is not difficult.
UPD:
Lexfrei , September 2, 2014 at 01:29 #
I will add about the corruption in this university:
I was expelled for not wanting to bribe. He was not admitted to the session for formal reasons, then drove for 2 months with formulations like "you have the wrong color here, go update." Dean is up to date.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/235255/
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