How to make sure that before you engineer
Nowadays, it is so fashionable to be an engineer that one of them ranks among themselves. The word "engineer" almost lost the specific meaning. If you know someone who you think is just a fake engineer, show them this test to get them out of the water.
This engineer does not select any of these options. He will write on the margins of the test “the right decision in each particular case will depend on the circumstances not given in the condition” (see below about the risk), but he will mutter aloud at the same time: “and it only occurred to me that the pictures must hang right ? these geeks from the marketing department? ”(see below about aesthetics).
“Normal” people from social interaction expect to perform any vague tasks:
Engineers have a much more rational approach to social interaction. They count:
Clothing for the engineer is not too important: it is enough that it satisfies the basic requirements for heat retention and respect for decencies. If no parts of the body are cold and do not sweat too much, and the genitals and mammary glands do not hang out in the public eye, it means that clothing performs the tasks for which people dress. To bother about clothes beyond that is a waste of time and effort (see below about optimizing spending)
')
Engineers always put content above form - therefore it is difficult for them to master the whole arsenal of crafty, insincere techniques that “normal” people create a deceptive impression of their own attractiveness in the eyes of the opposite sex. As a result, the majority of “normal” people do not have any romantic interest for engineers.
But engineers have an ace in the hole: their intelligence, financial stability, honesty (see below) and decency make them the most attractive partners for marriage. Most of the "normal" people only dream to get an engineer in the family, and produce engineering-like children, who have a well-paid job will appear much earlier than the first sexual partners.
Male engineers become irresistible sex symbols much later than “normal” men. This can happen by the age of forty-fifty: just look at how many women dry up according to Bill Gates. Female engineers become irresistible sex symbols with reaching puberty, and they remain thirty minutes after clinical death, and even longer in warm weather.
Engineers will never give up honesty - both in professional and in social interactions. Therefore, it is desirable to keep engineers away from customers, from romantic-minded young ladies, and from all other people who really need nothing.
However, engineers sometimes mislead other people when they say things that no one would believe. Sometimes they do it consciously: after all, formally, this is not a lie, so there is no need to make a deal with a conscience.
Engineers hate to take risks, because from childhood they see how the press is glad to inflate a big story because of any minor engineering miscalculation (Titanic, Hindenburg, Apollon 13 ...)
Most often, in the event of an error, the engineer risks being disgraced for life (well, in addition, people can die), and in case of success, he will receive only a diploma in the box; therefore, the risk and responsibility of the engineer are disadvantageous. The easiest way for an engineer to avoid risk is to convince yourself and others that the project is technically impracticable.
If this is not enough for the project to be canceled - the engineer goes to the backup plan: “In general, the project will be completed, but it will be extremely expensive.”
The engineer is convinced that the argument to save money is fundamentally indestructible:
Regardless of the financial situation, engineers are famous for their asceticism regarding spending. This is not due to the fact that they are greedy or harmful: they simply perceive any purchase as an optimization task - “how to get out of this situation, minimizing costs?”
What kind of engineer will pass the task, posing a challenge to his intellect?
Self-assessment engineer depends only on two things:
The easiest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare it unsolvable. No engineer will leave alone an unsolvable task, and neither illness nor everyday problems will distract him; fighting against the laws of nature, he is ready to neglect both food and hygiene. (Although without unsolvable problems, the engineer sometimes forgets to eat or brush his teeth.)
The engineer knows that he will get more pleasure from solving a truly difficult task than from sex - even from sex in which someone other than himself participates.
Engineer Test
You enter the room, and you see that the picture hangs unevenly. You…
- correct the picture;
- calmly pass by;
- buy CAD software and spend the next six months developing a self-leveling picture frame powered by solar energy. All this time you damn that idiot who guessed to hang pictures on ordinary nails. Only a Hindu could be satisfied with such a crutch!
This engineer does not select any of these options. He will write on the margins of the test “the right decision in each particular case will depend on the circumstances not given in the condition” (see below about the risk), but he will mutter aloud at the same time: “and it only occurred to me that the pictures must hang right ? these geeks from the marketing department? ”(see below about aesthetics).
Social skills
“Normal” people from social interaction expect to perform any vague tasks:
- encourage each other conversations, to induce to think about the hitherto unknown;
- make important contacts;
- strengthen the feeling of being connected with other people.
Engineers have a much more rational approach to social interaction. They count:
- demonstrate intellectual excellence and proficiency in diverse areas of knowledge;
- avoid anyone whose company is unpleasant;
- complete social interaction as quickly as possible.
Appearance
Clothing for the engineer is not too important: it is enough that it satisfies the basic requirements for heat retention and respect for decencies. If no parts of the body are cold and do not sweat too much, and the genitals and mammary glands do not hang out in the public eye, it means that clothing performs the tasks for which people dress. To bother about clothes beyond that is a waste of time and effort (see below about optimizing spending)
')
Intersectional interaction
Engineers always put content above form - therefore it is difficult for them to master the whole arsenal of crafty, insincere techniques that “normal” people create a deceptive impression of their own attractiveness in the eyes of the opposite sex. As a result, the majority of “normal” people do not have any romantic interest for engineers.
But engineers have an ace in the hole: their intelligence, financial stability, honesty (see below) and decency make them the most attractive partners for marriage. Most of the "normal" people only dream to get an engineer in the family, and produce engineering-like children, who have a well-paid job will appear much earlier than the first sexual partners.
Male engineers become irresistible sex symbols much later than “normal” men. This can happen by the age of forty-fifty: just look at how many women dry up according to Bill Gates. Female engineers become irresistible sex symbols with reaching puberty, and they remain thirty minutes after clinical death, and even longer in warm weather.
Honesty
Engineers will never give up honesty - both in professional and in social interactions. Therefore, it is desirable to keep engineers away from customers, from romantic-minded young ladies, and from all other people who really need nothing.
However, engineers sometimes mislead other people when they say things that no one would believe. Sometimes they do it consciously: after all, formally, this is not a lie, so there is no need to make a deal with a conscience.
Risk
Engineers hate to take risks, because from childhood they see how the press is glad to inflate a big story because of any minor engineering miscalculation (Titanic, Hindenburg, Apollon 13 ...)
Most often, in the event of an error, the engineer risks being disgraced for life (well, in addition, people can die), and in case of success, he will receive only a diploma in the box; therefore, the risk and responsibility of the engineer are disadvantageous. The easiest way for an engineer to avoid risk is to convince yourself and others that the project is technically impracticable.
If this is not enough for the project to be canceled - the engineer goes to the backup plan: “In general, the project will be completed, but it will be extremely expensive.”
The engineer is convinced that the argument to save money is fundamentally indestructible:
Greed
Regardless of the financial situation, engineers are famous for their asceticism regarding spending. This is not due to the fact that they are greedy or harmful: they simply perceive any purchase as an optimization task - “how to get out of this situation, minimizing costs?”
What kind of engineer will pass the task, posing a challenge to his intellect?
Ego
Self-assessment engineer depends only on two things:
- intellectual superiority;
- owning cool gadgets.
The easiest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare it unsolvable. No engineer will leave alone an unsolvable task, and neither illness nor everyday problems will distract him; fighting against the laws of nature, he is ready to neglect both food and hygiene. (Although without unsolvable problems, the engineer sometimes forgets to eat or brush his teeth.)
The engineer knows that he will get more pleasure from solving a truly difficult task than from sex - even from sex in which someone other than himself participates.
Show it to familiar engineers, they will like it.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/232507/
All Articles