Motivation in a person’s life, or my little experience (introduction)
Hi, Habr. Hi, Habrovchane.
The theme of this post was actually sucked out of my soul, which is called “boiling over and overtaking”. Having read different articles on Habré and IThappens, I thought: “And what is wrong with me?” People write about how they work, what funny events they have had, who understood what, who achieved what, who moved to work to another country. What can I tell you? Well, yes, there were a couple of posts on IThappens about shamanism about the talisman from the toy immunity , about the home computer, which died after I handed it over to my father . And what else?
I am 24 years old, what have I achieved? I do not know. Some of my friends who are either of the same age or older by a year already occupy the positions of IT directors, department heads, and leading positions. They have wives, children (not everyone, of course, but there are some). And I? What makes me different from them?
')
Attempts to analyze their lives led to disappointing conclusions. What i have Work as a system administrator in a small business without any prospects for development, to put it in Russian, is a dead end. Postgraduate studies are not in profile. Beloved girlfriend and friends. What's next?
Well, I will finish graduate school, I will be 27 years old. AND? Now what?
What do I spend my life on? Sit at work, get drunk with users, go to the girl and sit "stupid" on the TV, drink beer with friends, take a walk with the girl. Yes, I do not argue, it is, of course, cool, useful (walking through the park), but where is the development? I am afraid that even after 3 years, if I don’t begin to do anything, I will sit in front of the TV, raising my stomach and become a classic admin-enikshchikom, with my wife and two spin-rovers. So what is next? So finish? No, I do not know who and how, but it does not suit me.
Let's see what you need to do to get out of this situation?
To begin with, I think we need to decide on the answers to two main questions: “What do I have right now at the moment?” And “What do I have and what would I like?”. Then I will describe everything in more detail.
So. What I have?
Super. Here we are determined. I propose to disassemble each item separately. And understand what I like and what not?
Yes, if you compare it with the previous place, it's just a wonderful place. There is everything, and finance for IT development, and the time that you can spend on yourself, in terms of self-education, and pay here an order of magnitude higher than they paid before. But, is this the place where I want to work further? What keeps me here? I am sure many have asked this question. And many have found this answer? Except, of course, typical answers: “but suddenly I will not find a substitute,” “here they pay more,” well, etc. I think everyone read the article "Top 10 unconvincing reasons to hold on to bad work . " For me, this reason was determined quite recently, which made it possible to finally be convinced of what should be done and how to move forward.
There is nothing you can do, but you have to learn, the desire for education has recently revived with extraordinary power. For the last 4 years I have been studying, as they say, "from under the lash". But the words of one of my relatives constantly pop up in my head, that people either study before a certain age or afterwards. Apparently, apparently, I am one of those who study after. Although the topic of my dissertation is not profile, but it is still connected with IT (although it is considered from the point of view of economics).
Running a little ahead, I can not share the experience of his school life. When I was in grades 9-11, leaped laziness. Walking, kicking a ball, walking around the area, it was all much more interesting and exciting than learning, sitting up doing boring, necessary lessons and counting huge examples of algebra or physics (even if it was easy and interesting, but you understand your childhood). But like most boys, I really wanted my father to be proud of me. But how to achieve this? According to the great law of meanness, father came to my room only at those moments when lessons were done or there was a simple break, and naturally, he saw that I was drowning at the computer or just spitting at the ceiling. On this basis, I received a huge mass of indignation in my address. How come? The son of a gas and condensate extraction engineer (father) and a computer programmer (in assembly language, this is mother) brings home triples in geometry, sometimes in physics with algebra. Hence, on the basis of observations, he does not study and does not study. This became especially acute in grade 11, when I was openly declared that I would not go anywhere, that I was ignorant, incompetent, and so on. But the father of his son knows (as long as this science is not available to me; here, I think, until you try it yourself, you will not understand), it was determined when I entered the Moscow Institute of Steel and Alloys myself for the budget. My father specifically put pressure on me, while I myself, without realizing it, snorted that he was wrong and proceeding from the usual desire to prove (youthful maximalism, nobody also canceled) that the father was wrong, that he was wrong, that I could . In the end, this turned out to be a very good motivation. In one year I was so “filled my hand” on all sorts of puzzles that “I clicked them like seeds”. What is the result? I am proud that I proved to my father his mistake. The father is proud to have raised a good son. Here is an example of the simplest motivation.
Yes, I have a loved one, she is studying for a PR specialist and she still has a year left. As I think, we are not alone with our relationship problems, now we quarrel, sometimes we reconcile, then something else, but the thought that this is the same person with whom I want to spend the rest of my (still) worthless life, pushes me to some action. In general, conducting a comparative analysis based on observations, we can conclude that many people are beginning to achieve some success not just for their own sake, but for the sake of the future, for the sake of the family. My father instilled in me the realization that until I was financially secure, until I would get up on my feet and until I would be able to feed myself, my wife, and children. I don’t even need to think about it, but if I have plans to start a family, continue my family, then I, as a man, getter and future head of the family, have to: develop, work, study, and not lie on the sofa or drink a bottle / two grieving and complaining about my life, in which I can not change anything. The presence in the life of a person, for which you can and most importantly want to perform any actions, favorably contribute to personal growth.
Also, having friends who strongly support, I mean those with whom you can not only drink beer, but also chat about different things, pick your car in the garage, and most importantly - discuss plans for the future, share emotions and thoughts.
In my opinion, as soon as this very striving appears in life, then it becomes much easier to formulate and set a life goal for yourself. I do not even know what else to say.
With what we have, sorted out. Now it's time to decide on what we don't have, but would we like to?
What are they needed for? Everybody probably has his own thoughts on this topic, but I will try to further reveal that these very goals are being carried to us. And as an example I can give the following situation:
Yes, humanity has created a lot of its own charms. This includes smart homes, cars, huge TVs with high-quality color, smart phones costing as a powerful computer and so on. And all this attracts people. One of my acquaintances is running after modern expensive gadgets, simply because it is a status and having noticed a high society with a “Samsung clamshell” will not accept as an equal. In my opinion, all this is prejudice. I am sure that many of us dream of an expensive car, a golden iPhone and an apartment in the center of Moscow, closer to work.
Here I think that it is not necessary to describe something, it is obvious that idyll cannot be achieved without happiness. And in general, if a person is unhappy, then he will either have an incentive to become happy, or even more and more will go down on the back of his hand.
It so happened that when I was young, my father worked as the head of the company, and in fact we didn’t really think that there might not be enough money, but the white line is often replaced by black. So it happened to us. As a result, we began to save on everything. And then I realized, being a small child, that I would do everything in the future to prevent the mistakes that my father made. No, I do not say that my father is bad, by no means, we all have mistakes. But most importantly, how do we perceive these errors? Blame the person who allowed them? Or "we shake our mustache" - how not to do?
What can I give to others now? My support and every help. And what can I give my loved one? Or your mother? Here the question already arises: is it true, what can I give them? This topic is so extensive that I would like to write a separate article on it.
Are you ready to admit to yourself that tomorrow will be better, or without changes? And can it not be worse? The world is dynamic - everything changes. This dynamic can affect anyone. You may end up in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and get yourself into huge problems. Not long ago, I watched the film "Lucky Number Slevin". At the very beginning of the film, it is shown how the main character turned out to be simply not there and at the wrong time and what consequences could be fought.
Therefore, you always want to have confidence in the future.
So. Having dealt with these questions, we can at least understand what we want. Based on this, try to formulate and set yourself a goal to accomplish.
Usually a person is driven by something, there is an expression: “flies just don’t fly!” So it’s with people. I do not know a single person who, to the question “Why are you doing this?” Would answer: “Just like that!”. Agree, there are no such people. Everyone has some specific purpose, on the basis of which actions are formed. I, of course, do not take into account people with mental disorder and mental illness, whose actions are difficult to explain.
And what is your goal? Deserve recognition in some matters, in science? To deserve the respect of some people? To achieve family well-being? Or what? I propose to discuss this in the comments, with explanations, and what are you doing to achieve this goal?
Formation of the goal, in my opinion, is not easy, because you need to take into account several factors that sometimes exclude themselves. And if you approach this in a meaningful way, and not in such a way that “And I’m going to an accountant!” And the question arises, why did a person studying programming, working as a system administrator, suddenly go into bookkeeping? Isn't that easy?
To form a life goal, we need:
What frameworks do we fit? Here it is necessary to understand precisely that there are no impossible cases. If you want to set yourself the goal of the invention of the perpetual motion machine, then you will definitely put your whole life on it, and if you don’t invent it, then at least you will create a huge theoretical and practical base for your descendants. Therefore, I do not advise jumping above my head. It is necessary to firmly decide and weigh all the pros and cons. For example, I will analyze your goal. I think that the dates were even longer, but I have a reserve. By 33 years old, plus / minus a year, I want to take the position of IT director, be engaged in an interesting business for me, work in a large company and work for the benefit of people.
Why such a goal? But what about family well-being, financial stability, material wealth? I tried to build a chain of my desires so that all my links were interconnected. Since for me, work, financial stability and family well-being are mutually connected and inseparable, I also built goals in such a way as to have time to develop in all directions. To avoid damage in one direction or another. Having weighed everything, I came to the conclusion that 10 years to achieve all the tasks set before me are more than enough, I would even say in abundance, but wouldn't it be nice if I achieve this not in 10, but in 8 years? I think that it will be much more pleasant for me to realize that I have outstripped my own schedule, which means that I really want this and all the time, and all the forces spent on achieving this, were not in vain.
To determine the time needed to achieve our goal, you need to weigh all the necessary data on which the success of the implementation depends.
When all this is calculated, we will approach the approximate date of the decision.
It is necessary to understand, why do we need this? So we counted how much time, effort, and perhaps we would spend our money. Why is this done? To achieve personal happiness, or recognition, or for some other reason? Understanding the reasons for actions always lead to effective results. If a person does not understand why he does this or that work, the person disappears: 1) interest in doing this work, 2) the desire to perform this work disappears.
As a result, we get an unfinished or very poorly made product and a lot of regrets, disappointments and possible depression. Think very well why you are setting yourself such a task. And most importantly, if you set a goal that you want to live in a country house, try to answer yourself the question “And what is a country house better than an apartment?” By area? Well, save money and buy yourself a 5-6 room apartment. Kebab want? Buy a huge apartment on the roof of a skyscraper, go out and fry kebabs, the smoke will go up, not down and you will not interfere with your neighbors, as well as the higher, the cleaner the air. Try to dissuade yourself from achieving your goal. If you succeed, then you do not want it, and if it does not work out, you only make sure that it is very important to you. By the way, it concerns not only work or a country house. In all life issues, you can use this method.
We know the approximate time for implementation, we firmly believe that we know why we are doing this. We turn, in my opinion, to the most interesting question. And what do we get when we reach the goal? First, you need to try to introduce yourself in 5 - 10 years. Just close your eyes and imagine. Do you like everything? Is this really what you were aiming for? If yes - congratulations. If not, look for what led you to the wrong result.
Offense to the last point. We outline our key points, as I call them. This means that we need to plan for ourselves some plan according to which we will move. We know the approximate time for implementation, we know why we need it and we are confident that if we do this, then we will be better. But how to achieve this? Having faced this question, I thought for a long time. Well, where should I start? Throwing from one extreme to another, I determined that if everything was done erratically, we would never meet the deadlines. For this, I took the calendar and thought that I need first of all? That's right - to pay debts so that my past does not pull me back. Considering how much I get and how much I spend, and most importantly what I spend, I could determine how much money I can give to the bank to the maximum, and how much I need to leave to the minimum so as not to die of starvation. Considering how much time I would pay in this situation, it came out surprisingly not that long. I scrolled around the date in the calendar, marking the fact that this number I bring the last ruble and reach the reference point. Next, it is best to outline all the control points of your path, and when you reach the new CT scan, it is quite possible to reconsider the next timeline. Thus, you will be able to analyze how much time it took you to achieve this CT scan, how you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT, you can clearly see what has been done and what is not.
Here it is. Now, we can confidently say that we have set a life goal for ourselves. She may not necessarily be alone. There may be two and three, and they can also contain a chain of other goals, as it happened with me.
Perhaps you have just read it and asked yourself another question: “And where is the motivation and where is a concrete example of how it all works?”
I cannot give a concrete example so far, because I myself have just finished with the formation of my further path. And since I am now at the very beginning, I decided to share with you my experience in undertaking, formulating and setting the tasks necessary to achieve the cherished goal.
At the very beginning, I answered the questions: “What do I have?”, “And what I want?”. And disassembled each of the points. My own experience is that recently I met with friends whom I had not seen for a long time. All of them occupy, in my opinion, good positions and seem to be even happy with everything. Then I covered a series of depressions. And why am I arguing with a girl? Why don't I have money? And why can not I get the rights to the car? And this eternal “why?” Constantly arose. It so happened that the girl went to her grandmother and grandfather for the summer, and I had time to understand myself. What am I doing wrong? Why can not I achieve the happiness of which I dream?
After sitting a couple of days in search of answers, I came across articles on the site:
The main effect on me was made by the article “How to become a system administrator”, namely the 4th part, since It examined the further paths of the system administrator. And then I realized that I was so depressed.
I sat down and sorted out all my difficulties and problems point by point: (I plan to write on these topics a little later, naturally - from the point of view of an IT person):
I really hope that the cycle of articles to which this introduction was written will help as well as it helps me.
All your questions and suggestions please discuss in the comments.
The theme of this post was actually sucked out of my soul, which is called “boiling over and overtaking”. Having read different articles on Habré and IThappens, I thought: “And what is wrong with me?” People write about how they work, what funny events they have had, who understood what, who achieved what, who moved to work to another country. What can I tell you? Well, yes, there were a couple of posts on IThappens about shamanism about the talisman from the toy immunity , about the home computer, which died after I handed it over to my father . And what else?
I am 24 years old, what have I achieved? I do not know. Some of my friends who are either of the same age or older by a year already occupy the positions of IT directors, department heads, and leading positions. They have wives, children (not everyone, of course, but there are some). And I? What makes me different from them?
')
Attempts to analyze their lives led to disappointing conclusions. What i have Work as a system administrator in a small business without any prospects for development, to put it in Russian, is a dead end. Postgraduate studies are not in profile. Beloved girlfriend and friends. What's next?
Well, I will finish graduate school, I will be 27 years old. AND? Now what?
What do I spend my life on? Sit at work, get drunk with users, go to the girl and sit "stupid" on the TV, drink beer with friends, take a walk with the girl. Yes, I do not argue, it is, of course, cool, useful (walking through the park), but where is the development? I am afraid that even after 3 years, if I don’t begin to do anything, I will sit in front of the TV, raising my stomach and become a classic admin-enikshchikom, with my wife and two spin-rovers. So what is next? So finish? No, I do not know who and how, but it does not suit me.
Let's see what you need to do to get out of this situation?
To begin with, I think we need to decide on the answers to two main questions: “What do I have right now at the moment?” And “What do I have and what would I like?”. Then I will describe everything in more detail.
So. What I have?
- Work, not so hot, but it is;
- Postgraduate (non-core) and education;
- Girl and friends;
- The desire to change something.
Super. Here we are determined. I propose to disassemble each item separately. And understand what I like and what not?
Job
Yes, if you compare it with the previous place, it's just a wonderful place. There is everything, and finance for IT development, and the time that you can spend on yourself, in terms of self-education, and pay here an order of magnitude higher than they paid before. But, is this the place where I want to work further? What keeps me here? I am sure many have asked this question. And many have found this answer? Except, of course, typical answers: “but suddenly I will not find a substitute,” “here they pay more,” well, etc. I think everyone read the article "Top 10 unconvincing reasons to hold on to bad work . " For me, this reason was determined quite recently, which made it possible to finally be convinced of what should be done and how to move forward.
Postgraduate and Education
There is nothing you can do, but you have to learn, the desire for education has recently revived with extraordinary power. For the last 4 years I have been studying, as they say, "from under the lash". But the words of one of my relatives constantly pop up in my head, that people either study before a certain age or afterwards. Apparently, apparently, I am one of those who study after. Although the topic of my dissertation is not profile, but it is still connected with IT (although it is considered from the point of view of economics).
Running a little ahead, I can not share the experience of his school life. When I was in grades 9-11, leaped laziness. Walking, kicking a ball, walking around the area, it was all much more interesting and exciting than learning, sitting up doing boring, necessary lessons and counting huge examples of algebra or physics (even if it was easy and interesting, but you understand your childhood). But like most boys, I really wanted my father to be proud of me. But how to achieve this? According to the great law of meanness, father came to my room only at those moments when lessons were done or there was a simple break, and naturally, he saw that I was drowning at the computer or just spitting at the ceiling. On this basis, I received a huge mass of indignation in my address. How come? The son of a gas and condensate extraction engineer (father) and a computer programmer (in assembly language, this is mother) brings home triples in geometry, sometimes in physics with algebra. Hence, on the basis of observations, he does not study and does not study. This became especially acute in grade 11, when I was openly declared that I would not go anywhere, that I was ignorant, incompetent, and so on. But the father of his son knows (as long as this science is not available to me; here, I think, until you try it yourself, you will not understand), it was determined when I entered the Moscow Institute of Steel and Alloys myself for the budget. My father specifically put pressure on me, while I myself, without realizing it, snorted that he was wrong and proceeding from the usual desire to prove (youthful maximalism, nobody also canceled) that the father was wrong, that he was wrong, that I could . In the end, this turned out to be a very good motivation. In one year I was so “filled my hand” on all sorts of puzzles that “I clicked them like seeds”. What is the result? I am proud that I proved to my father his mistake. The father is proud to have raised a good son. Here is an example of the simplest motivation.
Girl and friends
Yes, I have a loved one, she is studying for a PR specialist and she still has a year left. As I think, we are not alone with our relationship problems, now we quarrel, sometimes we reconcile, then something else, but the thought that this is the same person with whom I want to spend the rest of my (still) worthless life, pushes me to some action. In general, conducting a comparative analysis based on observations, we can conclude that many people are beginning to achieve some success not just for their own sake, but for the sake of the future, for the sake of the family. My father instilled in me the realization that until I was financially secure, until I would get up on my feet and until I would be able to feed myself, my wife, and children. I don’t even need to think about it, but if I have plans to start a family, continue my family, then I, as a man, getter and future head of the family, have to: develop, work, study, and not lie on the sofa or drink a bottle / two grieving and complaining about my life, in which I can not change anything. The presence in the life of a person, for which you can and most importantly want to perform any actions, favorably contribute to personal growth.
Also, having friends who strongly support, I mean those with whom you can not only drink beer, but also chat about different things, pick your car in the garage, and most importantly - discuss plans for the future, share emotions and thoughts.
The desire to change something
In my opinion, as soon as this very striving appears in life, then it becomes much easier to formulate and set a life goal for yourself. I do not even know what else to say.
With what we have, sorted out. Now it's time to decide on what we don't have, but would we like to?
- life purpose;
- all material benefits invented by mankind;
- happiness and idyll;
- financial stability;
- independence and confidence in the future;
- stable work which you will go with love.
Life goals
What are they needed for? Everybody probably has his own thoughts on this topic, but I will try to further reveal that these very goals are being carried to us. And as an example I can give the following situation:
I received a higher education for 8 years, yes, there is nothing to be proud of, I changed 3 universities, but in the end I received it and as the saying goes, thank God. But, throughout all 8 years of study, I was pursued by the goal “A crust is needed! The crust is important, and so as not to happen, I did not give up trying to get it. And why? Because the goal stood and for years the thought was hammered in: “Without a diploma it will be more difficult than with it!” Over time, of course, I questioned this opinion, but decided not to risk it. And that's all. The goal is achieved, the goal is no more. What to do? What to do? From about April, I rushed to my thoughts: “Now what? What to do? Where to go? ”The answers to these questions turned out to be much simpler than I could imagine.
All material goods
Yes, humanity has created a lot of its own charms. This includes smart homes, cars, huge TVs with high-quality color, smart phones costing as a powerful computer and so on. And all this attracts people. One of my acquaintances is running after modern expensive gadgets, simply because it is a status and having noticed a high society with a “Samsung clamshell” will not accept as an equal. In my opinion, all this is prejudice. I am sure that many of us dream of an expensive car, a golden iPhone and an apartment in the center of Moscow, closer to work.
Happiness and idyll
Here I think that it is not necessary to describe something, it is obvious that idyll cannot be achieved without happiness. And in general, if a person is unhappy, then he will either have an incentive to become happy, or even more and more will go down on the back of his hand.
Financial stability
It so happened that when I was young, my father worked as the head of the company, and in fact we didn’t really think that there might not be enough money, but the white line is often replaced by black. So it happened to us. As a result, we began to save on everything. And then I realized, being a small child, that I would do everything in the future to prevent the mistakes that my father made. No, I do not say that my father is bad, by no means, we all have mistakes. But most importantly, how do we perceive these errors? Blame the person who allowed them? Or "we shake our mustache" - how not to do?
Independence and confidence in the future
What can I give to others now? My support and every help. And what can I give my loved one? Or your mother? Here the question already arises: is it true, what can I give them? This topic is so extensive that I would like to write a separate article on it.
Are you ready to admit to yourself that tomorrow will be better, or without changes? And can it not be worse? The world is dynamic - everything changes. This dynamic can affect anyone. You may end up in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and get yourself into huge problems. Not long ago, I watched the film "Lucky Number Slevin". At the very beginning of the film, it is shown how the main character turned out to be simply not there and at the wrong time and what consequences could be fought.
Therefore, you always want to have confidence in the future.
So. Having dealt with these questions, we can at least understand what we want. Based on this, try to formulate and set yourself a goal to accomplish.
Usually a person is driven by something, there is an expression: “flies just don’t fly!” So it’s with people. I do not know a single person who, to the question “Why are you doing this?” Would answer: “Just like that!”. Agree, there are no such people. Everyone has some specific purpose, on the basis of which actions are formed. I, of course, do not take into account people with mental disorder and mental illness, whose actions are difficult to explain.
And what is your goal? Deserve recognition in some matters, in science? To deserve the respect of some people? To achieve family well-being? Or what? I propose to discuss this in the comments, with explanations, and what are you doing to achieve this goal?
Formation of the goal, in my opinion, is not easy, because you need to take into account several factors that sometimes exclude themselves. And if you approach this in a meaningful way, and not in such a way that “And I’m going to an accountant!” And the question arises, why did a person studying programming, working as a system administrator, suddenly go into bookkeeping? Isn't that easy?
To form a life goal, we need:
- exact awareness of when, at what time intervals we want to achieve this goal;
- why do we need it?
- What do we get when we reach this goal?
- form key points in which to analyze what has been done and what remains to be done, as well as to determine the tasks that should be accurately implemented at these points
What frameworks do we fit? Here it is necessary to understand precisely that there are no impossible cases. If you want to set yourself the goal of the invention of the perpetual motion machine, then you will definitely put your whole life on it, and if you don’t invent it, then at least you will create a huge theoretical and practical base for your descendants. Therefore, I do not advise jumping above my head. It is necessary to firmly decide and weigh all the pros and cons. For example, I will analyze your goal. I think that the dates were even longer, but I have a reserve. By 33 years old, plus / minus a year, I want to take the position of IT director, be engaged in an interesting business for me, work in a large company and work for the benefit of people.
Why such a goal? But what about family well-being, financial stability, material wealth? I tried to build a chain of my desires so that all my links were interconnected. Since for me, work, financial stability and family well-being are mutually connected and inseparable, I also built goals in such a way as to have time to develop in all directions. To avoid damage in one direction or another. Having weighed everything, I came to the conclusion that 10 years to achieve all the tasks set before me are more than enough, I would even say in abundance, but wouldn't it be nice if I achieve this not in 10, but in 8 years? I think that it will be much more pleasant for me to realize that I have outstripped my own schedule, which means that I really want this and all the time, and all the forces spent on achieving this, were not in vain.
To determine the time needed to achieve our goal, you need to weigh all the necessary data on which the success of the implementation depends.
- Is it necessary to learn something new? For example, if you want to build a house, but have never held a hammer in your hands, then naturally you will need to spend time on your own training.
- It is necessary to identify all possible risks, as well as try to predict most of the problems that we may encounter.
- Determine how much time per day we will spend on solving the tasks. If we need to learn something, how much time will we spend on it? An hour, two, maybe all three?
When all this is calculated, we will approach the approximate date of the decision.
It is necessary to understand, why do we need this? So we counted how much time, effort, and perhaps we would spend our money. Why is this done? To achieve personal happiness, or recognition, or for some other reason? Understanding the reasons for actions always lead to effective results. If a person does not understand why he does this or that work, the person disappears: 1) interest in doing this work, 2) the desire to perform this work disappears.
As a result, we get an unfinished or very poorly made product and a lot of regrets, disappointments and possible depression. Think very well why you are setting yourself such a task. And most importantly, if you set a goal that you want to live in a country house, try to answer yourself the question “And what is a country house better than an apartment?” By area? Well, save money and buy yourself a 5-6 room apartment. Kebab want? Buy a huge apartment on the roof of a skyscraper, go out and fry kebabs, the smoke will go up, not down and you will not interfere with your neighbors, as well as the higher, the cleaner the air. Try to dissuade yourself from achieving your goal. If you succeed, then you do not want it, and if it does not work out, you only make sure that it is very important to you. By the way, it concerns not only work or a country house. In all life issues, you can use this method.
We know the approximate time for implementation, we firmly believe that we know why we are doing this. We turn, in my opinion, to the most interesting question. And what do we get when we reach the goal? First, you need to try to introduce yourself in 5 - 10 years. Just close your eyes and imagine. Do you like everything? Is this really what you were aiming for? If yes - congratulations. If not, look for what led you to the wrong result.
Offense to the last point. We outline our key points, as I call them. This means that we need to plan for ourselves some plan according to which we will move. We know the approximate time for implementation, we know why we need it and we are confident that if we do this, then we will be better. But how to achieve this? Having faced this question, I thought for a long time. Well, where should I start? Throwing from one extreme to another, I determined that if everything was done erratically, we would never meet the deadlines. For this, I took the calendar and thought that I need first of all? That's right - to pay debts so that my past does not pull me back. Considering how much I get and how much I spend, and most importantly what I spend, I could determine how much money I can give to the bank to the maximum, and how much I need to leave to the minimum so as not to die of starvation. Considering how much time I would pay in this situation, it came out surprisingly not that long. I scrolled around the date in the calendar, marking the fact that this number I bring the last ruble and reach the reference point. Next, it is best to outline all the control points of your path, and when you reach the new CT scan, it is quite possible to reconsider the next timeline. Thus, you will be able to analyze how much time it took you to achieve this CT scan, how you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT, you can clearly see what has been done and what is not.
Here it is. Now, we can confidently say that we have set a life goal for ourselves. She may not necessarily be alone. There may be two and three, and they can also contain a chain of other goals, as it happened with me.
Perhaps you have just read it and asked yourself another question: “And where is the motivation and where is a concrete example of how it all works?”
I cannot give a concrete example so far, because I myself have just finished with the formation of my further path. And since I am now at the very beginning, I decided to share with you my experience in undertaking, formulating and setting the tasks necessary to achieve the cherished goal.
At the very beginning, I answered the questions: “What do I have?”, “And what I want?”. And disassembled each of the points. My own experience is that recently I met with friends whom I had not seen for a long time. All of them occupy, in my opinion, good positions and seem to be even happy with everything. Then I covered a series of depressions. And why am I arguing with a girl? Why don't I have money? And why can not I get the rights to the car? And this eternal “why?” Constantly arose. It so happened that the girl went to her grandmother and grandfather for the summer, and I had time to understand myself. What am I doing wrong? Why can not I achieve the happiness of which I dream?
After sitting a couple of days in search of answers, I came across articles on the site:
- "Do what I must" or "Whom I definitely do not want to be in 50 years" ;
- You and your work ;
- Top 10 unconvincing reasons to hold on to poor performance ;
- How to become a system administrator - a manual for beginners (part 1,2,3,4) (link to the last 4th part, at the end there is a table of contents).
The main effect on me was made by the article “How to become a system administrator”, namely the 4th part, since It examined the further paths of the system administrator. And then I realized that I was so depressed.
I sat down and sorted out all my difficulties and problems point by point: (I plan to write on these topics a little later, naturally - from the point of view of an IT person):
- work, what to be?
- personal life, how to avoid quarrels, mutual misunderstandings, how to become an ideal couple?
- personal comfort, what do you need for it?
- layout of the ideal future, how to build?
- Where to find all this time?
I really hope that the cycle of articles to which this introduction was written will help as well as it helps me.
All your questions and suggestions please discuss in the comments.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/232107/
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