About bad words, or How to write a text without making a shit out of it

Hello.
In the first part of the article I will talk about some of the stylistic “jambs” that give the texts a characteristic stationery dull style. The second part is devoted to a more serious mistake, which, unfortunately, threatens to become the rule in the near future.

Part 1. And do you speak in stationery?

In the course of my work, I often deal with "raw" texts, which the authors send for publication, and I also read quite a lot of articles and news on the Internet. Analyzing them, I identified several characteristic features - words that the authors of technical and near-technical texts like to use very much. Perhaps it is believed that such words give the text more weight, or else this style is already firmly in the minds of the authors. But in fact, these words are parasites, which do not need to be applied. Their presence spoils any text, reducing it to the level of government-marketing (and even, I apologize for the rudeness, SEO-shnogo) content. Alas, it is precisely this style that now dominates the Internet. I suppose that we are dealing with a vicious circle: reading bad texts, people begin to write just as badly, and their texts, in turn, serve as an implicit model for new authors.

So, what are these words so bad.

"The". This word is very often found in various descriptions and reviews. "This phone ...", "This program ..." - sometimes every second (and even the first) paragraph of the review begins this way. But mercy, why write this sad, like a rusty cauldron (daNNNNNYy ... daNNN ...) word if the Russian language has the remarkable pronouns "this", "this" and so on? Why not just write: “This phone”, “this program”? Moreover, you can generally do without the pronoun. If you are writing about a specific phone, it is clear that you are talking about it in the text, and there is no need to point it at all with your finger.
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Example:

"This phone supports all conceivable communication standards."

Let's make it easier:

"This phone supports all conceivable communication standards."

And further:

"The phone supports all conceivable communication standards."

The latter is easier to read, right? And this is just the beginning.

When the text with the word “given” begins to be translated into English, an extravaganza begins: “But the smart people wrote supercomputer specialists.

"Is . " This word is used as an analogue of the English verb to be. Just in case, I remind you that this verb is not needed in Russian. Probably, the popularity of this word is associated with the appearance of a huge number of bad translations from English.
“This phone is the best in its class (This phone is the best ...)”. "I am a programmer in the celestial office (I am a programmer)." “This article is the first in the series ...” Notice that this word leaves behind the instrumental case, which looks very rotten.
Look at what will happen if we rewrite these phrases.

"This phone is the best in its class."

"I am a programmer in the heavenly office."

"This is the first article in a series of publications ..."

Or even better:

"I am a programmer. I work in the heavenly office.

Great start to the story, isn't it?
Here is another good, juicy example of the "raw" text:

"A well-known fact is that ..."

This squiggle with a slight movement of the editor’s fingers turns into

"It is known that..."

Instead of a lethargic phrase, like a salted cucumber, whose place is in the mouth of a responsible bureaucrat-bludgeon, we clearly and beautifully formulated the idea.

Of course, there are contexts in which it is difficult to manage without this word, but again: the Russian language is flexible enough to always pick a replacement.

"Such as". Another mulka marketers, come from the English language (such as). Unlike the terrible words listed above, this construction has the right to life, but it must be applied correctly.

Often it can be found in this context:

"The exhibition was attended by major electronics manufacturers such as Samsung and Foxconn."

If, in addition to Samsung and Foxconn, other no less large companies participated in this exhibition, then this proposal was constructed quite correctly. For completeness, one might add to the end "etc.".

But. If after “such as” we list absolutely all the subjects of our story - this is wrong. After all, the phrase “such as” implies a comparison, an example, but not the beginning of a complete listing.

Alas, but often it is used that way. And even worse: "We will tell you about such a useful function as artistic processing of images." Read this sentence slowly, think about the meaning of each word and its role in the sentence, and you will feel all the wildness and absurdity of this phrase, which looks like quite meaningful text.

By the way, our first example can be completely rewritten without applying “such as”:

"The exhibition was attended by major electronics manufacturers - Samsung, Foxconn, etc."

It became easier, and?
"And also . " This construction can often be found together with “such as”, and in the same way the correctness of its application depends on the context (and it also came from bad machine translations).

Example:

but). "The exhibition was attended by major electronics manufacturers - Samsung, Foxconn, as well as LG."

b). "The exhibition was attended by major electronics manufacturers - Samsung, Foxconn, as well as many not so well-known companies."

Understand where the error? Right. The phrase "as well as" works as a separator between two different sets. To use it as an analogue of the union “and”, as many marketers do, is wrong.

Somehow I had to edit disgustingly (no, not disgustingly. Disgusting!) Translated book about software-defined radio systems (Software defined radio - SDR). In addition to the obvious translation errors, changing the meaning of the phrases to the opposite, and the sheer ignorance of the translator of technical terms, I had to contend with the hosts “is”, “given” and “as well”. I acted simply: with the help of auto-replacement, I deleted these words from the text, replaced them with decent analogs, and in the course of the work the rules are all inconsistent.

Let me remind you of the difference between "as well" and "as." If we are talking about the similarity of something with something - we write "the same way."

"Just like that day, today cicadas sang loudly."

And if we need to combine two judgments, “also.”

"Computers are sold with the MS Windows operating system preinstalled, PCs running Linux are also possible."

Illiterate, but polite.

The problem to which I dedicate the second part of my article arose relatively recently. In my memory, three years ago it was not so common. But in recent years, the situation has deteriorated markedly. Perhaps, on the title of this part, some attentive readers have already understood what I want to say.

I intrigued you, ne?

Oh yes, they are. Like vile toadstools after affectionate radioactive rain, on the Internet, advertising posters, leaflets, and lately, they began to sprout everywhere.

The pronouns "You" with a capital letter.

From somewhere, probably, from the next “creative” of our energetic, but uneducated marketers, an interesting rule came out, according to which “you” is now written with a capital letter, if the reference goes to one person, and from the lower case - if to several.

And wrap it all up.

Now “you” is found in a variety of contexts - not only in flyers and posters, but also in the interface of various programs and operating systems.

It is especially unpleasant to see these “mushrooms” in the book “50 writing techniques” - one of the best books for journalists.



I note that often in the messages of the program "you" is not needed at all. Illiterate attempts by programmers to be polite with users led to confusing messages and an abundance of unnecessary information. Unobtrusive and concise messages of programs and operating systems is a good topic for a separate article, and if my first publication is accepted favorably, I will continue this topic.

“You” is found even in such a bizarre context:



Interestingly, here the unfortunate translator of subtitles made a mistake in the square. Not only is "you" with the title, in fact, this dear old man with a gun appeal to a married couple. Such tendency indiscriminately to hit “You” everywhere, without taking into account the context, is frightening. By the way, this was noticed in the comments on Habrahabr.

"You" with the title was found by me and on Yandex, where it is proposed to leave feedback on the new interface of the Maps. I wrote a review indicating this error, and it was soon corrected. A simple, sincere, male "thank you" to Yandex.

In order not to torture readers who immediately decide that I am wrong on the Internet, and want to write an angry comment (or even smash a minus), I will immediately strike them a critical blow: the website gramota.ru unequivocally tells us about the rules for second person plural pronouns with upper and lower case letters. The same, but more concisely and intelligibly states Our Everything in design . I will briefly retell this only correct position: “You” with a capital letter is written only (hear, ONLY!) In personal official correspondence (and also in questionnaires). And even that is not a rule without exceptions, but rather a sign of “high calm”. In an informal conversation, the usual "you" is quite enough - in the Russian language this is considered to be a polite form of address. If it seems to you not polite enough, then you should probably take a vacation, or at least go for a massage. Should help.

And, of course, “You” are unacceptable for impersonal handling - and there are an absolute number of them: all books, articles, blogs, posters, banners, subtitles, messages of applications and operating systems, and so on. I repeat for clarity: the authors, programmers, subtitle editors, so called. “Bloggers”, journalists, marketers (vain attempt to reach their minds) - never, in any case, do not write “you” with a capital letter, if it is not at the beginning of a sentence.

The popularity of “you”, as well as the shoals I described in the first part, is partly due to the spread of bad translations from English. This language does not allow so simple to wield impersonal sentences, and personal pronouns are often used in English texts. And therefore, it is not necessary to translate a phrase like “You can buy a computer with Linux” as “You can buy a computer with Linux”. We speak Russian, so we will write this: "You can buy a computer running Linux." Of course, if the context allows it.

How can you deal with this? I can recommend a couple of quests-quests to those who decided to sincerely embark on the Path of Light: write N texts without using bad words, which I told you, take ready-made texts (yours or others), remove these words from them and rewrite them in normal language . If the texts are your work, and the customer insists on introducing the described errors in them, try to tell him about them, referring to gramota.ru, A. Lebedev, this article, in the end. If it did not help ... well, at least we did everything we could.

Interestingly, the advocates of “Vykanya” retain their positions with all their might. The persistence with which they defend their obviously wrong point of view is worthy of respect. So, during a conversation with one of the “bloggers” in the “Top LiveJournal” list, it turned out that in his blog he addressed “like” to each reader personally. And, although he recognizes the rules of the Russian language, he does not want to change anything and believes that “You” is a feature (“trick”) of his blog.

Explain to such people the difference between personal and impersonal treatment - more expensive. If you really want to become the most polite on the Internet, I can advise you to write a script that asks you to enter the name of the visitor and in the future will substitute him into the text. Or let him get the nickname of the user LJ or another platform, or whatever, if it was just a personal appeal.

Well, someone writes pa-padonkaffski, someone - “You” with a capital. This is the personal path of each; if a person does not know how to write correctly, we will teach him, but if he doesn’t want it, don’t waste time on it.

But.

You, by chance, have not yet wondered - why did I write all this? Another Grammar-Nazi-Hate-Psto? Agy. But not only.
Friends, we have to realize the responsibility that lies with us - the people who write, even if your texts are informational messages in programs. We are responsible for the literacy of our readers. Reading the texts written by us, people begin to write in the same way (this is the essence of human nature - to believe what was written).

To get as close as possible to the “average” Internet reader, you can go down to his level, speaking in his language about what is clear to him. This is the easiest way, and it is to them that popular literature, music, television, and cinema are now going.

We should not do that. In our power to raise those who read us to our level - both in knowledge and in literacy. Therefore, the content and form of our texts should be almost perfect. Almost - because from my work experience I know that in any relatively large text, no matter how many times the author rereads it, there will still be minor errors. (That is why, in serious revisions, before the publication, the text passes a multi-stage test by different people - a scientific, literary editor, proofreader and, possibly, editor-in-chief at any time during the working cycle.) But we must do everything we can to make our articles style, literacy and were most helpful to readers.

In conclusion - simple advice on how to catch more errors in your texts. Having written another masterpiece, do not rush to publish. Tomorrow, for a sober fresh mind, reread the text, preferably out loud - and you will immediately find mistakes there that you missed in the evening.

Write correctly.