Weekdays IT project manager
The author could not be found, unfortunately, in the network - numerous copies, so I print this text here, not in the post link. They say that it appeared in http://kourianov.spb.ru/slon.txt
Given: “What is an elephant made of? From the trunk, ears and hippopotamus. "
Project Manager (PM): “This is a programmer's approach to implementing
modular solutions "
')
Realization: we take a hippopotamus, hang a trunk on it and give ears to the nose to a programmer who stuffs a trunk in the ass and we get a complaint from a client that when the wind is strong, ears close their eyes We tell the programmer to change the ears from left to right and finally take the trunk out of the back. in on yadke ... but turned inside out we get a complaint, together with a trunk on his head, and moved the tail and ears are now heard only from 9 am to 11 am in the end we note that instead took the hippopotamus cub giraffe. yes, and to hell with him, no one wants to mess around anymore ... in the next version ...
Programmer: "I was not provided with a detailed analysis of the entrails of the hippopotamus and I have its pedigree up to the 4th generation !!!!"
Client: “So, I like everything ... just ... I would be a kangaroo, eh? Can you hang a bag in front and remove your trunk? ”
General: "the bag was not included in the original specifications, quoting"
PM: “yes, of course, we'll do everything ... but this is add. modifications that will cost ... uh ... Programmer, for how much do you remake an elephant into a kangaroo? ”
Programmer: “Damn, here are freaks !!! I needed clear specifications from the start !!! I refuse to work like that !!! ”
PM: “Programmer, how much time?”
Programmer: “I will do it in 2 days ..”
PM: “taak ... 4 days * $ 200 ... We need another $ 1200!”
Client: "$ 1200 to convert an elephant into a kangaroo ?????"
PM: "$ 1000"
Client: “Agreed. Only will he be with horns? "
PM: "Programmer? !!?"
Programmer: "another day"
PM: "250 more"
Client: “Damn you ... let's do it without horns. Although I said from the very beginning - we need horns !!!! ”
Programmer: “Everything is ready. Only I got the horns out ... Remove? "
PM: “clean up”
Programmer: “Hell, another day ..”
PM: “done”
Client: "everything is ok ... and why does he have 2 tails and the trunk dangles ??"
PM: "* la"
Programmer: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “Where is the tail?”
PM: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “OK, I accept ... but can you still have horns? Let it add. 250 will be. "
PM: "Programmer, fix"
Programmer: "?? : "No:%;" No? ^% $ # & ^% @ & !!! I’ve cleaned the horns all day !!! I NEED EXACT SPECIFICATIONS !!! "
Programmer: “done ..”
PM: “Done”
Client: “It goes ... but usually 2 horns are enough ... remove the 3rd plz”
PM: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “Again the ears are closed! Remove. "
PM: “It was in TK. $ 250 to clean. ”
Client: "Damn you ..."
Given: “What is an elephant made of? From the trunk, ears and hippopotamus. "
Project Manager (PM): “This is a programmer's approach to implementing
modular solutions "
')
Realization: we take a hippopotamus, hang a trunk on it and give ears to the nose to a programmer who stuffs a trunk in the ass and we get a complaint from a client that when the wind is strong, ears close their eyes We tell the programmer to change the ears from left to right and finally take the trunk out of the back. in on yadke ... but turned inside out we get a complaint, together with a trunk on his head, and moved the tail and ears are now heard only from 9 am to 11 am in the end we note that instead took the hippopotamus cub giraffe. yes, and to hell with him, no one wants to mess around anymore ... in the next version ...
Programmer: "I was not provided with a detailed analysis of the entrails of the hippopotamus and I have its pedigree up to the 4th generation !!!!"
Client: “So, I like everything ... just ... I would be a kangaroo, eh? Can you hang a bag in front and remove your trunk? ”
General: "the bag was not included in the original specifications, quoting"
PM: “yes, of course, we'll do everything ... but this is add. modifications that will cost ... uh ... Programmer, for how much do you remake an elephant into a kangaroo? ”
Programmer: “Damn, here are freaks !!! I needed clear specifications from the start !!! I refuse to work like that !!! ”
PM: “Programmer, how much time?”
Programmer: “I will do it in 2 days ..”
PM: “taak ... 4 days * $ 200 ... We need another $ 1200!”
Client: "$ 1200 to convert an elephant into a kangaroo ?????"
PM: "$ 1000"
Client: “Agreed. Only will he be with horns? "
PM: "Programmer? !!?"
Programmer: "another day"
PM: "250 more"
Client: “Damn you ... let's do it without horns. Although I said from the very beginning - we need horns !!!! ”
Programmer: “Everything is ready. Only I got the horns out ... Remove? "
PM: “clean up”
Programmer: “Hell, another day ..”
PM: “done”
Client: "everything is ok ... and why does he have 2 tails and the trunk dangles ??"
PM: "* la"
Programmer: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “Where is the tail?”
PM: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “OK, I accept ... but can you still have horns? Let it add. 250 will be. "
PM: "Programmer, fix"
Programmer: "?? : "No:%;" No? ^% $ # & ^% @ & !!! I’ve cleaned the horns all day !!! I NEED EXACT SPECIFICATIONS !!! "
Programmer: “done ..”
PM: “Done”
Client: “It goes ... but usually 2 horns are enough ... remove the 3rd plz”
PM: "* la"
PM: "fixed"
Client: “Again the ears are closed! Remove. "
PM: “It was in TK. $ 250 to clean. ”
Client: "Damn you ..."
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/20796/
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