How to work with inadequate customers?
This article is how to for support in communicating with clients, how to communicate with clients that you cannot communicate with : hostile, embittered, suspicious - what we used to call inappropriate.
There are many well-known strategies on this subject. For example, let's try to apply advice from Carl Sewell's “ Customers for Life ” book:
I admit that in simple cases it works. When I was selling the K155IR1 chip in a hostel and my legs were bent at one, I had to straighten those legs gently. You do not need to be Carl Sewell.
')
But how will this advice help us with Anton Uralsky , who has breaks? No Dmitriy, a support service employee, cannot eliminate the gaps in place. Especially if, as he says, this is a technological feature.
Another example. We have a niche dating site. In response to the newsletter comes a response from the customer named Craig (name changed):
The client is unhappy that he is being written by fat and old women. Let's try to apply the advice of Carl Sewell:
WTF, Carl Sewell, how do I make them younger and slimmer? We need other methods. Let's start with the unpopular: work on yourself. Then we continue with a more appreciative topic: working on a client.
It is important not to stigmatize the client with “inadequate”, “fucked ** yo” and so on. As soon as we call the client “inadequate,” we program our reaction. Indeed, let us imagine ourselves in the place of a support employee: someone “inadequate” attacks us. What should be done? We need to protect ourselves from inadequate. How?
We all know how the employees of mail , government institutions and other places where they pay little and recruit employees, let's say, the bottom segment of qualification, are protected.
An example of passive-aggressive defense: " Get out of here, bitch "
Protection methods may vary:
• freeze
• otmazatsya
• or, as employee Dmitri does, inwardly neighing, admiring himself.
The brand of a client is destructive not only for the relationship between the client and the company, but also for ourselves . As soon as we label, we begin to worry: “If it were not for such assholes that did not poison my life, I would live peacefully.” Or: "How can you be so asshole?".
In fact, of course, no, they are not assholes. People are harder than a mess in a separate episode, and one inadequate lunge does not make them assholes, just as one single adequate act does not make them examples of harmony.
In short, the algorithm is as follows:
Then I would talk about each of the items separately. Sources:
* The so-called Harvard Negotiation Project, perfectly described in the book “ Difficult conversations ”
* Examples from personal practice.
For a start, you need to express the idea of ​​a neutral, as if from the side.
Grandpa looks from the side
For why this is necessary, let's see in general: why do conflicts occur? They rarely occur due to the fact that the client and support operate with different facts. But they often occur because the parties give different weight to the same facts. Consider the examples.
In the case of Anton Uralsky, breaks are important for him. For support it is a trifle. How does the support respond, looking from its bell tower?
- Well, once in 24 hours the session is guaranteed to break ...
For the client of the dating, the parameters of one particular woman who wrote to him are one of tens of thousands of those on the site. For support they are not important, as there are many other women on the site. How would the support answer from his bell tower?
- Look for others.
Everyone talks about his own, it turns out the Tower of Babel.
So that the case does not end with a crusade with robbery and rape, it is important to find a common language. Start with what you both agree on. Outline the facts, not interpretations.
Anton can answer like this:
- It looks like we have a problem with constant breaks.
Craig:
- So we've got a problem with our women.
What have we done? Formulated something from which to push off. Something that we agree on. We are great.
It is very difficult. Why so hard? It seems to me because my primary school teacher Nina Alekseevna taught to act according to “truth” and “justice.” I loved and love her, and at the same time I consider this the worst advice you can give. Millions of teachers, teachers, fathers and mothers around the world give a similar installation. This setting is part of western culture.
According to this installation, it is assumed that the truth is one, although, of course, in reality there are an uncountable number of them, and all are true:
- Ural sees gaps - this is true (regardless of whether they are or not)
- Dmitry considers them unremovable - this is also true
- A deyting client considers a woman to be old and fat - this is also true (even if she is sweet, and the client herself is over 50)
- The site is full of other women - this is also true.
In this case, we do not need to accept someone else's truth. It is important to just understand it . Understand what he says and how it looks from his side.
It is quite easy. Here's how the support could answer to Anton:
- That is, before the connection was not broken, but recently began to break?
And here is how to Craig:
- Looks like it is not a fan of old and big?
We do not begin communication by broadcasting from our bell tower, but we also do not conceal our point of view. After being formulated neutrally and from the point of view of the client, - hurray! - You can tell from yourself. Our opinion is no less important than the opinion of the client. No more important, but no less.
So, Anton, we say:
- For my part, it looks different: a protocol feature that happens to all clients and most do not pay attention to it. Could you tell us in more detail why this is so important for you, and we would think what can be done with this?
Those who noticed recursion, offset.
Craig:
- So here we go, Maxim models are not chasing us around. Same time, there are plenty of women on the website.
Needless to say, “From my point of view, it’s shit” - this does not mean expressing one’s vision of the situation , it means expressing one’s attitude towards a person . This does not help. “You called an idiot an idiot. congratulations, you called things by their names. So what? You have not changed anything ”(c) Motorcycle and art of motorcycle manteinence.
Finally, the most important:
Why it is impossible to start with this? Can. Denis said that. Expressed in the sense that you need to ignore the gaps. What infuriated unhappy Anton.
Or take an example with Craig. Craig could answer: look for others. Dialogue:
- she's fat and old
- Look for other ones.
At first glance briefly and in the case - well, on the second - bad. Because it puts Craig before a choice: to admit that he is an idiot and did not guess himself, or give weight to other parties. For example, he might say: “Why, then, should I send such fears and wait for me to catch fire in lust?”
What solution to offer? It is usually easy. For example:
- Anton, unfortunately, we cannot guarantee the absence of at least one gap a day. Let's think how to be?
Craig:
- So maybe you look for other ones.
Then you need to listen again. As you noticed, sometimes the process is recursive. Sometimes it loops. Consider some of the complications that may arise.
Sometimes the client repeats the same thing: “I tell you one more time ...”. Well, cycles are normal. One of my employees needs to be listened to three times, then she herself proposes a solution and leaves satisfied.
They need to tear one of the many ways. For example, you can interpret a cycle as a problem and start from step 1: “It looks like we’re talking about the same thing for some time.” Another way is to thank and hang up.
A cry is a protest against a situation when a client is cornered. Anton screams from helplessness. That is, shouting is not a problem in itself, but a symptom of another problem.
A cry is also a provocation. The client has prepared a trap for you. It is important not to please her. Denis is great here.
And, most importantly: shouting, cursing and threats - this is not the end of the dialogue, but the continuation of negotiations. As long as they sound, you have a chance to negotiate (see Secrets of power negotiating). There is no chance in another case: when fully ignored.
In real life, absolutely everything can be not pronounced, if you feel that you can not talk, so as not to sound like a caricature of a psychologist: they will think that you are kidding.
But: in case there are doubts, we have a scenario, especially in writing, where, if you can be misunderstood, you will be misunderstood (and where it is impossible too).
But - I remind you - you can not retreat from the basic settings:
Here is the correspondence with Craig. Name has been changed, personal data is smeared.
I will not call the rain from the frogs if I give advice: choose the field of activity, with whom you should communicate: which business to open, with whom you work. All people are different, and at the same time:
It gives me much more pleasure to communicate with customers who order designs and icons than with dating customers. Here is an example of correspondence, which begins with a complaint, but quickly becomes constructive - the client taught me something:

I propose to play in the comments.
And those, and others plus and minus for successful and unsuccessful moves.
I'll play for a while too, but I hope that the game will continue without me.
Update: Excellent advice in the comments on how to see the problem through the eyes of the client
About useless tips
There are many well-known strategies on this subject. For example, let's try to apply advice from Carl Sewell's “ Customers for Life ” book:
- Listen to customer
- Do as he wants.
I admit that in simple cases it works. When I was selling the K155IR1 chip in a hostel and my legs were bent at one, I had to straighten those legs gently. You do not need to be Carl Sewell.
')
But how will this advice help us with Anton Uralsky , who has breaks? No Dmitriy, a support service employee, cannot eliminate the gaps in place. Especially if, as he says, this is a technological feature.
Another example. We have a niche dating site. In response to the newsletter comes a response from the customer named Craig (name changed):
What the heck ... sorry, but fat grandmas are not HOT CHICKS. Too funny!
The client is unhappy that he is being written by fat and old women. Let's try to apply the advice of Carl Sewell:
- To listen. Well, we listened.
- Do as he wants. The client wants women to be younger and slimmer.
WTF, Carl Sewell, how do I make them younger and slimmer? We need other methods. Let's start with the unpopular: work on yourself. Then we continue with a more appreciative topic: working on a client.
Do not hang tags
It is important not to stigmatize the client with “inadequate”, “fucked ** yo” and so on. As soon as we call the client “inadequate,” we program our reaction. Indeed, let us imagine ourselves in the place of a support employee: someone “inadequate” attacks us. What should be done? We need to protect ourselves from inadequate. How?
We all know how the employees of mail , government institutions and other places where they pay little and recruit employees, let's say, the bottom segment of qualification, are protected.
An example of passive-aggressive defense: " Get out of here, bitch "
Protection methods may vary:
• freeze
• otmazatsya
• or, as employee Dmitri does, inwardly neighing, admiring himself.
The brand of a client is destructive not only for the relationship between the client and the company, but also for ourselves . As soon as we label, we begin to worry: “If it were not for such assholes that did not poison my life, I would live peacefully.” Or: "How can you be so asshole?".
In fact, of course, no, they are not assholes. People are harder than a mess in a separate episode, and one inadequate lunge does not make them assholes, just as one single adequate act does not make them examples of harmony.
Alternative Algorithm: Harvard Negotiation Project
In short, the algorithm is as follows:
- Articulate the situation neutrally
- Formulated from the client’s point of view
- Formulate for your part
- Suggest a solution.
Then I would talk about each of the items separately. Sources:
* The so-called Harvard Negotiation Project, perfectly described in the book “ Difficult conversations ”
* Examples from personal practice.
1. Formulate the situation neutrally
For a start, you need to express the idea of ​​a neutral, as if from the side.
Grandpa looks from the side
For why this is necessary, let's see in general: why do conflicts occur? They rarely occur due to the fact that the client and support operate with different facts. But they often occur because the parties give different weight to the same facts. Consider the examples.
In the case of Anton Uralsky, breaks are important for him. For support it is a trifle. How does the support respond, looking from its bell tower?
- Well, once in 24 hours the session is guaranteed to break ...
For the client of the dating, the parameters of one particular woman who wrote to him are one of tens of thousands of those on the site. For support they are not important, as there are many other women on the site. How would the support answer from his bell tower?
- Look for others.
Everyone talks about his own, it turns out the Tower of Babel.
So that the case does not end with a crusade with robbery and rape, it is important to find a common language. Start with what you both agree on. Outline the facts, not interpretations.
Anton can answer like this:
- It looks like we have a problem with constant breaks.
Craig:
- So we've got a problem with our women.
What have we done? Formulated something from which to push off. Something that we agree on. We are great.
2. Formulate from the client’s point of view.
It is very difficult. Why so hard? It seems to me because my primary school teacher Nina Alekseevna taught to act according to “truth” and “justice.” I loved and love her, and at the same time I consider this the worst advice you can give. Millions of teachers, teachers, fathers and mothers around the world give a similar installation. This setting is part of western culture.
According to this installation, it is assumed that the truth is one, although, of course, in reality there are an uncountable number of them, and all are true:
- Ural sees gaps - this is true (regardless of whether they are or not)
- Dmitry considers them unremovable - this is also true
- A deyting client considers a woman to be old and fat - this is also true (even if she is sweet, and the client herself is over 50)
- The site is full of other women - this is also true.
In this case, we do not need to accept someone else's truth. It is important to just understand it . Understand what he says and how it looks from his side.
It is quite easy. Here's how the support could answer to Anton:
- That is, before the connection was not broken, but recently began to break?
And here is how to Craig:
- Looks like it is not a fan of old and big?
3. Formulate from our side
We do not begin communication by broadcasting from our bell tower, but we also do not conceal our point of view. After being formulated neutrally and from the point of view of the client, - hurray! - You can tell from yourself. Our opinion is no less important than the opinion of the client. No more important, but no less.
So, Anton, we say:
- For my part, it looks different: a protocol feature that happens to all clients and most do not pay attention to it. Could you tell us in more detail why this is so important for you, and we would think what can be done with this?
Those who noticed recursion, offset.
Craig:
- So here we go, Maxim models are not chasing us around. Same time, there are plenty of women on the website.
Needless to say, “From my point of view, it’s shit” - this does not mean expressing one’s vision of the situation , it means expressing one’s attitude towards a person . This does not help. “You called an idiot an idiot. congratulations, you called things by their names. So what? You have not changed anything ”(c) Motorcycle and art of motorcycle manteinence.
Finally, the most important:
4. Suggest a solution
Why it is impossible to start with this? Can. Denis said that. Expressed in the sense that you need to ignore the gaps. What infuriated unhappy Anton.
Or take an example with Craig. Craig could answer: look for others. Dialogue:
- she's fat and old
- Look for other ones.
At first glance briefly and in the case - well, on the second - bad. Because it puts Craig before a choice: to admit that he is an idiot and did not guess himself, or give weight to other parties. For example, he might say: “Why, then, should I send such fears and wait for me to catch fire in lust?”
What solution to offer? It is usually easy. For example:
- Anton, unfortunately, we cannot guarantee the absence of at least one gap a day. Let's think how to be?
Craig:
- So maybe you look for other ones.
What to do next and how to deal with complications
Then you need to listen again. As you noticed, sometimes the process is recursive. Sometimes it loops. Consider some of the complications that may arise.
Cycles
Sometimes the client repeats the same thing: “I tell you one more time ...”. Well, cycles are normal. One of my employees needs to be listened to three times, then she herself proposes a solution and leaves satisfied.
Infinite loops
They need to tear one of the many ways. For example, you can interpret a cycle as a problem and start from step 1: “It looks like we’re talking about the same thing for some time.” Another way is to thank and hang up.
Screams, curses and threats
A cry is a protest against a situation when a client is cornered. Anton screams from helplessness. That is, shouting is not a problem in itself, but a symptom of another problem.
A cry is also a provocation. The client has prepared a trap for you. It is important not to please her. Denis is great here.
And, most importantly: shouting, cursing and threats - this is not the end of the dialogue, but the continuation of negotiations. As long as they sound, you have a chance to negotiate (see Secrets of power negotiating). There is no chance in another case: when fully ignored.
In real life, absolutely everything can be not pronounced, if you feel that you can not talk, so as not to sound like a caricature of a psychologist: they will think that you are kidding.
But: in case there are doubts, we have a scenario, especially in writing, where, if you can be misunderstood, you will be misunderstood (and where it is impossible too).
But - I remind you - you can not retreat from the basic settings:
- Do not glue labels
- Look at the problem as the eyes of a client.
An example with the client of the dating
Here is the correspondence with Craig. Name has been changed, personal data is smeared.
An example of a client who bought our icons.
I will not call the rain from the frogs if I give advice: choose the field of activity, with whom you should communicate: which business to open, with whom you work. All people are different, and at the same time:
- B2B customers are being screened: someone hired them
- IT people are smarter
- There are a lot of crazy people in dating, even to a surge in support load in spring and autumn.
It gives me much more pleasure to communicate with customers who order designs and icons than with dating customers. Here is an example of correspondence, which begins with a complaint, but quickly becomes constructive - the client taught me something:

Playing in the comments
I propose to play in the comments.
- Who wants to play a client with any claim. Try to remember the conflict with the support (at the hoster, in Beeline, at the airport, in the shoe shop - not so important).
- The rest of them are playing the help desk.
- In the end, I ask clients to tell how it really happened: what they told you and how the business ended.
And those, and others plus and minus for successful and unsuccessful moves.
I'll play for a while too, but I hope that the game will continue without me.
Update: Excellent advice in the comments on how to see the problem through the eyes of the client
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/201604/
All Articles