Something went wrong
I apologize in advance if I somehow take your time, dear readers. Perhaps this text is just an emotion. Perhaps a request for help - I'm missing something.
I wanted to clarify, I feel that someone could already face this. My mind is going through such a strange time - demonstrative activity is unnatural to it. It would seem nothing special, but I can not force myself to program useless garbage. I can not do something that is a step back. That is, I can do it, there are witnesses. But now this time - everything, I can not anymore.
I do not understand the meaning of algorithmic tests nowadays, when all applicable algorithms are written. Although once I competed for speed with a friend in a similar task, it was fun and easy, I was faster. Nevertheless, the possibility of receiving money for tasks from people who give such tests is completely unattractive to me. My mind regards this as degradation, entropy, and simple idiocy, and refuses to promote my stomach, even though they are code-dependent. And the stomach is empty, there is no money at all. Some kind of madness.
It's not just tests. I, apparently, uncompetitive in the labor market. Maybe I do too long. Maybe I’m writing nothing right now optimized code, instead of using ready-made solutions. Maybe I should not do programming at all? It is interesting for me to investigate, it is only interesting for me to do what no one else has done. I went to this for more than one year and tried a lot. Now, it seems to me, there is no difference in what language and on which platform to work - it is even more interesting for me if it is something new. "Long and expensive."
')
My last employers, without a twinge of conscience, seem to have taken advantage of my frantic perfectionism and pathological honesty. By the way, for some reason their projects have not become even smaller, although I have exceeded my task. It turned out that I worked several times longer than the stipulated period and received less than the stipulated amount. "This is a business"?
If commodity-money relations between people are only confirmation that they cannot honestly interact with each other, then how can I earn money by working for someone dishonest? Now I work for myself, I promise myself a percentage of profit.
I have been programming since I was seven. Dad soldered me ZX Spectrum and dictated to me the program codes from the magazine "Radio Amateur". I loved programming BEEPs and inventing mathematical algorithms for strange patterns. I “hacked” the games and wrote mine. It was all a magic game. Now something is wrong, such a time. Nobody wants me to develop?
Enough solid time was spent by me and many others in enhanced practice. We practiced yoga code, if you like. We found Zen repeatedly. We have delved into a huge number of aspects of business processes very deeply. People who pay us money often seem to miss a lot of details, including one obvious thought - we really understand better. In everything: we began to understand contracts when we wrote document management systems. In taxes, when refactoring billing. With micropayments, statistics and in general with all the processes that we had to automate. At this moment, we have a dilemma: to do something of our own, applying our knowledge or continue the battle on the front of application programming. Obviously, the second is much more interesting, but the first is more profitable.
It turns out that I doubt the mere fact of my existence with the need for monetary gain. After all, I am pathologically honest, I seem to be unable to cope with the need for non-disclosure of profits to hired employees. Yes, and the only profit that interests my overtrained brain is the intellectual one. Intellectual investments are definitely more expensive than any money and food. That is why sometimes you can not eat, even if there is food, but not programming, if you have an idea - it is impossible.
I don’t even know what kind of community request I should form. What to ask the oracle? To have more honest people with money next to me?
Such a time
I wanted to clarify, I feel that someone could already face this. My mind is going through such a strange time - demonstrative activity is unnatural to it. It would seem nothing special, but I can not force myself to program useless garbage. I can not do something that is a step back. That is, I can do it, there are witnesses. But now this time - everything, I can not anymore.
I do not understand the meaning of algorithmic tests nowadays, when all applicable algorithms are written. Although once I competed for speed with a friend in a similar task, it was fun and easy, I was faster. Nevertheless, the possibility of receiving money for tasks from people who give such tests is completely unattractive to me. My mind regards this as degradation, entropy, and simple idiocy, and refuses to promote my stomach, even though they are code-dependent. And the stomach is empty, there is no money at all. Some kind of madness.
It's not just tests. I, apparently, uncompetitive in the labor market. Maybe I do too long. Maybe I’m writing nothing right now optimized code, instead of using ready-made solutions. Maybe I should not do programming at all? It is interesting for me to investigate, it is only interesting for me to do what no one else has done. I went to this for more than one year and tried a lot. Now, it seems to me, there is no difference in what language and on which platform to work - it is even more interesting for me if it is something new. "Long and expensive."
')
Work is not a wolf
My last employers, without a twinge of conscience, seem to have taken advantage of my frantic perfectionism and pathological honesty. By the way, for some reason their projects have not become even smaller, although I have exceeded my task. It turned out that I worked several times longer than the stipulated period and received less than the stipulated amount. "This is a business"?
If commodity-money relations between people are only confirmation that they cannot honestly interact with each other, then how can I earn money by working for someone dishonest? Now I work for myself, I promise myself a percentage of profit.
20 years of mind training
I have been programming since I was seven. Dad soldered me ZX Spectrum and dictated to me the program codes from the magazine "Radio Amateur". I loved programming BEEPs and inventing mathematical algorithms for strange patterns. I “hacked” the games and wrote mine. It was all a magic game. Now something is wrong, such a time. Nobody wants me to develop?
Enough solid time was spent by me and many others in enhanced practice. We practiced yoga code, if you like. We found Zen repeatedly. We have delved into a huge number of aspects of business processes very deeply. People who pay us money often seem to miss a lot of details, including one obvious thought - we really understand better. In everything: we began to understand contracts when we wrote document management systems. In taxes, when refactoring billing. With micropayments, statistics and in general with all the processes that we had to automate. At this moment, we have a dilemma: to do something of our own, applying our knowledge or continue the battle on the front of application programming. Obviously, the second is much more interesting, but the first is more profitable.
It turns out that I doubt the mere fact of my existence with the need for monetary gain. After all, I am pathologically honest, I seem to be unable to cope with the need for non-disclosure of profits to hired employees. Yes, and the only profit that interests my overtrained brain is the intellectual one. Intellectual investments are definitely more expensive than any money and food. That is why sometimes you can not eat, even if there is food, but not programming, if you have an idea - it is impossible.
I don’t even know what kind of community request I should form. What to ask the oracle? To have more honest people with money next to me?
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/199500/
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