Why Microsoft buys Yahoo: the real reason
A bit of American "humor." At least I understand what I think over the hill ...
Once, Scott McNealy, founder and chairman of Sun, read in a morning paper that Java was less commonly used, preferring something called 'The LAMP Stack'. Furious, he summoned his accountant.
Scott : I knew from the start that Java was crap! I see only one way out - we need to buy a lamp!
Accountant : But LAMP is not a company, it is an acronym - Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP.
')
Scott : then we buy Linux!
Accountant : but we still have Solaris ...
Scott : Then buy me an apache!
Accountant : You can't buy anything there.
Scott : Then buy me a mysql!
Accountant : But we do not deal with databases.
Scott : Is that a db?
Accountant : Where have you been all this time?
Scott : Great. I can purchase Lamp o piss on Oracle at the same time! (waves a fake plastic wand) So be it!
It happened
Ten days later, the Microsoft CEO, flipping through CIO Magazine, read about an interesting thing called PHP, with which, according to the author, you can print "What is this?". This undoubtedly more advanced version of "Hello World" interested him. So he calls Bill Gates.
Steve : Hey, did you hear anything about PHP?
Bill : Old Age Incontinence (Pee Age Pee)? You're not so old, are you?
Steve : What? No, this is such a programming language, probably better than ASP.NET.
Bill : So no one cares about its improvement. I mean, we’ve made the smartest OS ever, and still we’re cool. (Have you tried Leopard yet? It is SO cool)
Steve : Well, I don't know, Billy ... do you remember the Internet, which we haven't known about for years? We practically lost sight of him.
Bill : Exactly. But didn't we do as always? The worst browser and the biggest part of the market, what's wrong?
Steve : Yeah, but we also didn't know anything about mp3 until it was too late.
Bill : We really were able to make Zune the worst player, but for some reason did not become the market leader. Where did we screw up?
Steve : Maybe other times just came? Maybe we need another strategy?
Bill : Ok, so let's get PHP.
Steve : This is not a company. But Encarta says it is written by Rasmus Lerdorf.
Bill : So let's hire him.
Steve : Tried, he doesn't want. Don't blame him, he works at yahoo.
Bill : Then I guess we buy Yahoo.
And it happened
The two loudest statements of the month, and both are part of a stupid conspiracy to enslave LAMP. So, what is next? My prediction: Red-Hat will buy Zend; Oracle will buy Red-Hat; Sun and IBM will unite to buy Oracle, Microsoft will buy Sun, destroy IBM, and peace will reign in the galaxy.
PS Can you imagine a working website from Microsoft like Flickr? These guys came up with MS Paint!
Original
Once, Scott McNealy, founder and chairman of Sun, read in a morning paper that Java was less commonly used, preferring something called 'The LAMP Stack'. Furious, he summoned his accountant.
Scott : I knew from the start that Java was crap! I see only one way out - we need to buy a lamp!
Accountant : But LAMP is not a company, it is an acronym - Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP.
')
Scott : then we buy Linux!
Accountant : but we still have Solaris ...
Scott : Then buy me an apache!
Accountant : You can't buy anything there.
Scott : Then buy me a mysql!
Accountant : But we do not deal with databases.
Scott : Is that a db?
Accountant : Where have you been all this time?
Scott : Great. I can purchase Lamp o piss on Oracle at the same time! (waves a fake plastic wand) So be it!
It happened
Ten days later, the Microsoft CEO, flipping through CIO Magazine, read about an interesting thing called PHP, with which, according to the author, you can print "What is this?". This undoubtedly more advanced version of "Hello World" interested him. So he calls Bill Gates.
Steve : Hey, did you hear anything about PHP?
Bill : Old Age Incontinence (Pee Age Pee)? You're not so old, are you?
Steve : What? No, this is such a programming language, probably better than ASP.NET.
Bill : So no one cares about its improvement. I mean, we’ve made the smartest OS ever, and still we’re cool. (Have you tried Leopard yet? It is SO cool)
Steve : Well, I don't know, Billy ... do you remember the Internet, which we haven't known about for years? We practically lost sight of him.
Bill : Exactly. But didn't we do as always? The worst browser and the biggest part of the market, what's wrong?
Steve : Yeah, but we also didn't know anything about mp3 until it was too late.
Bill : We really were able to make Zune the worst player, but for some reason did not become the market leader. Where did we screw up?
Steve : Maybe other times just came? Maybe we need another strategy?
Bill : Ok, so let's get PHP.
Steve : This is not a company. But Encarta says it is written by Rasmus Lerdorf.
Bill : So let's hire him.
Steve : Tried, he doesn't want. Don't blame him, he works at yahoo.
Bill : Then I guess we buy Yahoo.
And it happened
The two loudest statements of the month, and both are part of a stupid conspiracy to enslave LAMP. So, what is next? My prediction: Red-Hat will buy Zend; Oracle will buy Red-Hat; Sun and IBM will unite to buy Oracle, Microsoft will buy Sun, destroy IBM, and peace will reign in the galaxy.
PS Can you imagine a working website from Microsoft like Flickr? These guys came up with MS Paint!
Original
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/19823/
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