If programming languages ​​were child constructors

Hello! Somehow, by chance, about 3 years ago, Pascal introduced the language as a children's designer, and wrote a note about it. Showed to friends, they checked out. Later added C #, C ++, HTML and Assembler. Hopefully, the Habrovites will like it. Enjoy reading!

Pascal

It is an iron constructor in a gray plain box. Details are of three types - long but narrow, short but wide and corner. Fastened together with cogs. If there are 3 places in the details where you can screw a screw - then you need to screw them there, even if the screws do not hold anything! Otherwise the whole structure will fall apart at once.
There are several examples for creativity - a small house, an average house, a large house, and for some reason, something like a helicopter. Incredibly, the helicopter can even fly.
All, absolutely all models are built on the same plan - below the foundation, on top of the roof, in the middle of the empty frame. But inside the frame you can shove absolutely everything, although it does not fit with the modern concepts of design. But you can always imagine that two rails are the elevator of a large house, and three rails are the engine of a helicopter! Everything is real!
In Pascal, you can even sometimes use ropes - this will allow you to create flexible dynamic structures. To do this, you need to assemble an iron box, firmly fasten it and put a string in it.
An experienced pascalist, remembering youth, will do absolutely everything on Pascal.
The famous R. Stallman assembled a box with designer S. from Pascal.
Pascal is an outdated designer, so it is not a pity to break him and he is given to play to children and junior students.

C ++

Having bought C ++, you think you bought a designer, but in fact it is a whole repair kit. To the main box, you can then separately purchase many large and small boxes with parts of complex shape, which greatly simplify life.
C ++ is a very complex constructor, to use it you must first read the instructions on the back of the box. If this is not enough, you can mail out a complete collection of instructions from 10 volumes of 600 pages each.
Some collect stools. Others boast that they have assembled a working adjustable wrench and now it helps them in their work. There are cases when the existing firearms were assembled from the C ++ constructor. Two of them accidentally shot themselves, the rest were taken to the police.
The C ++ set includes three dozen basic parts, a variety of ropes, paper, glue, and nail clippers. When necessary, you can independently assemble the necessary part.
Those who started with the designer Pascal, continue to build heavy reliable structures. Beginners build unimaginably ugly structures that are easier to break than fix. And finally, only those who are interested in C ++ for quite a long time are able to build an openwork structure weighing one and a half tons, with one fulcrum and a changing center of gravity - thanks to the ability to use ropes.
C ++ is the main language for harsh bearded designers, but those who have been repeatedly crushed by the disintegrated handicraft do not like it.
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WITH#

C # is one of the designers of a well-known company producing children’s not very high-quality products.
You can buy a complete set, which will include many designers, sometimes even compatible with each other.
Usually a lightweight set of designer C # is distributed free of charge at institutes.
A bright box, funny faces depicted on it, inscriptions like “Design is great!” Will make this designer a good gift to the young engineer.
Inside is a bright little book, which describes about a third of the details. The rest are described only for a paid subscription.
Details are wooden cubes on which words are written. Some cubes are empty, you can write whatever you want on them. Occasionally parallelepipeds come across. And then there is one pyramid with the inscription main, which must crown the highest point of creation, otherwise everything will fall apart.
All the cubes are made quite qualitatively, the same laid out in separate boxes.
Sometimes cubes with connectors - not for extra strength, but so that they cannot be assembled as inappropriate. Or you can, but unreliable. However, despite the same connectors, the cubes are often not assembled with each other.
The creators of the designer decided to introduce many innovations in the design process. For example, the patented Flexible Cubes © Technology, the patented © Translucent Cubes Technology ©, the patented Viscous Cubes Technology © and the patented Sticky Cubes Technology ©.
Deciding not to give up the ropes, they were left in the set. Two. One is usually made of hardened wire, so it does not bend, and the second is too short.
Those who started their design activities with Pascal may not even notice the differences between C ++ and C #.
If a person has worked for a long time with C # cubes, and can, for example, assemble a turret, he is licensed as a Cubes Specialist.
In general, the structural strength of the parts-cubes is about the same as that of the iron parts, and a beautiful box will finally convince the majority to throw away the old Pascal.

HTML

HTML is not even a constructor, it is rather a mosaic. Details - pieces of paper. All of them, except for a couple of pieces, are square and differ only in color. As parts, you can also use pebbles, glass, pieces of mirrors and scraps of rags. Beautiful boxes with mosaic and laudatory recommendations from top designers are sold, there are even examples of pictures that can be assembled from existing pieces.
A huge number of guides and fake "mosaic professionals" give advice on how to turn a mosaic into a puzzle.
There are almost no methods in the mosaic - it is possible to collect even from above, even from below, even diagonally, as you like.
In inexperienced hands, the mosaic is terrible. Instead of a beautiful picture, you almost always get a vivid abstraction.
Someone puts the details on the edge of the table, someone on the floor, some fasten everything with cement.
In the mosaic, not the strength of the creation is particularly important, but the beauty of the resulting picture.
Many beginners do terrible things - instead of shifting the mosaic, they overlay the details of other colors over the old ones. From a distance unnoticed, mosaic professionals are indignant.
Because of the seeming ease, the mosaic is loved by thousands of people. Someone collects pictures for the rest, someone earns this money.
Additional concepts are usually supplied with the mosaic, such as
- CSS is when after assembling the mosaic you redraw the drawing style on a piece of paper by hand, so that it is easier to assemble the next time.
- java-script - in most cases it is not clear why the calculator glued to the mosaic top. Some like to have the finished masterpiece on top of it be strewn with feathers or snow. It is especially annoying when the finished picture is obscured by half-torn ads for the sale of a pram and pointers to other mosaics.
Mosaic is more suitable for artists than for engineers. Artists love her for beauty, engineers do not love for the plane of the designs.

Assembler

Designer Assembler need to give only incredibly assiduous or unloved children.
For the Assembler, tweezers and a 10x magnifying glass are required.
Be careful! Designer Assembler is categorically not recommended as the first designer in his life, because he develops very fine motor skills and straightforward thinking.
The minimum set includes 79 different parts. The assembly structure is reminiscent of dominoes - flat and more than two parts at a time are not connected.
Usually during the assembly process you forget what you wanted to assemble.
Assembled crafts work always. True, it is not always clear what exactly they do and why they do it.
But the created structures can rebuild themselves in the process. But you have to be careful - sometimes the odd job suddenly begins to actively change the laws of the physics of the surrounding world, and becomes dangerous for others. Then it should be immediately destroyed.
Assembler constructor can shoe a flea. It will not bring any practical benefit, but you can brag to your friends.