12 rules of a bad manager

Never plan

The project, as a rule, is done by itself, grows like a tree: the main thing is to plant seeds in time and fertilize the soil. Have you ever met a crank who will figure out how much the tree he planted grows in a year? The truth is that planning has never helped anyone make a good project. Exact timing is unnecessary responsibility and unnecessary headache. Gantt charts - for wimps. Forget about them.


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To the question "when is it necessary?" Always answer "yesterday"

This incredibly funny and fresh joke will never lose its relevance. So you will strengthen your authority before the experts and immediately very constructively let everyone know that you need to hurry. Do not be afraid: it will not occur to anyone that you yourself have failed all possible deadlines, and by means of such a statement of the task you avoid personal responsibility and try to shift the problem from a sore head to a healthy one.

Collect more meetings

Any question can be solved if you collect all interested parties in one place. It is best to hold such meetings with the personal physical presence of all participants, and only if such a scenario seriously disrupts your own plans, you can consider the option of telephone conferencing or chat in skype. At the same time, remember that your only task is to bring all the participants together and give them the opportunity to agree. Do not plan the agenda, do not think about the possible fragmentation of the working day, do not estimate the cost of the meeting, do not send a letter about the agreements reached. People know what to do, and they will figure it out without you. Do not stop them from doing their job, save your time and nerves.

Do not trust anyone

If you are not paranoid, it does not mean that you are not being watched. People are all around - usually on their mind, and just waiting for an opportunity to leave you in the cold. Do not forget about this for a minute. Control every step of your team, often stay above the soul of the experts. Instead of discussing the results of the work, request a daily report of the time spent, detailed by minute. Challenge everything that team members say - do not take your word for it, and meticulously check every little fact that you are told about. The people you work with are evil and insidious, you have different goals and objectives with them. Don't forget about it for a second.

Take your time: there are always evenings and weekends

Working time metrics 8x5 were invented by cowards and losers. Everyone knows that in a day there are actually 24 hours, and in a week - 7 days. All this time you can and should take up work. Keep your team in good shape: often call during off-hours and on weekends, make everyone around you feel eternally guilty of idlers. Remember that work can always be put off for the evening or for the weekend. Deadline on Friday always means Monday.

Do the work for specialists

If someone does not have time, you need to help him. You, too, were once a developer (designer), and you know perfectly well how and for how long each task needs to be done. Not only that: you know how to do the work better than any of the members of your project team. Sit nearby and help the person solve his problem. Tell the designer the right color scheme. Tell the programmer where to find the library you need. Book the data in the CMS along with the content manager. Managerial methods for resolving issues are ineffective. No need to try to send to strengthen a more qualified specialist, to attract additional resources, ask for a delay in terms or an additional budget. It is a bad idea. Better to do everything yourself.

Forget about "Plan B"

The project, as a rule, always goes well according to plan. Scope of work does not change, deadlines do not crawl, the customer does not go on vacation, the team does not get sick and is in touch around the clock. The results of the work are accepted from the first time, the servers work without failures, testing does not reveal critical errors, and the initial vision of the project does not change until the release itself. Do not waste time and effort on the miscalculation of these unlikely events. They will never happen.

Don't think about people

The specialists who make the project are just cogs in the business of making money. No one cares that they are tired, it is difficult for them to find a common language with the customer or with each other, that they have some business or problems besides work. You buy them time, and your relationship is exclusively commodity-money.

Do not write meeting minutes

People have a great memory. The participant of any meeting can easily reproduce by heart its agenda, without hesitation indicate the agreements reached, and through anyone, for an arbitrarily long time, he will list by name all participants and their areas of responsibility. Therefore, writing protocols is a waste of time.

Always agree with the customer and the team.

In project management, it's dangerous to have an opinion. Especially if you are a project manager. There is always a customer who knows what he wants, and a team that knows how to do it. The process is as transparent as possible, communication takes place without distortion, around - adults and serious people. It is in your interest to avoid conflicts at any cost, and the best tactic for this is simply to take an observant stance, at the very least, to broadcast messages from one person to another without any changes, with the obligatory note "I have nothing to do with this, this is Petrov's opinion."

Break agreements

All around, in general, do not care that you promise to call and do not call back, you are late for meetings, you promise to send materials on Monday, and send on Thursday. This is normal. There are busy people around, and it’s quite clear that it’s impossible to make it in time. In order not to find fault with you, try not to promise anything at all, do not name any specific deadlines and, if possible, do not commit yourself to key actions in the project. Breaking the agreement is natural and normal, take it philosophically.

Keep everyone in the dark

Give out information in small chunks and do not let anyone in the project team see a holistic and realistic picture of the situation. It is important for people to know only what is currently required. No one should think about what he is doing the current task, what is happening in parallel sections or at the client, and what will happen next. All tasks and stages in the project should be divided into small tight areas. The client, of course, does not need to report risks, punctures, possible postponement. This is extra information. The manager is not obliged to share his plans and vision with everyone.