Institute for training system administrators

I agree that it is retro, but many could miss this masterpiece of thought :) And now there will be where to find it again.

First grade

Studying the schematic diagrams and principles of operation of teapots, coffee makers, coffee grinders, televisions, cellular phones and ordinary phones, theory and practice of working with a soldering iron, exercises with a soldering iron in motion and in the ranks, practical night classes with an oscilloscope, disassembling and assembling a computer of any configuration for off time from any available details (where you steal the inaccessible, teachers do not care)
Compulsory physical training: running along stairs and rugged terrain with full display (sistemnik, power supply, monitor, laptop, 2 mice, Klava, 55 discs, 100 m of twisted pair, connectors, crimp tool and just in case dance) in a confined space.

Second course

Dos, Windows, Unix, Linux, OS / 2, FreeBSD inside and out. Installation, configuration, creation of servers and workstations, creation of individual workplaces and global office systems, unified bookkeeping around the world and local underground command centers, automation of stock exchanges and satellite tracking systems, information protection systems and in the case of unauthorized access — adequate nuclear retaliation. The study of all advanced and prospective office applications, existing and possible future accounting and banking programs, the solution of applied problems of taxation, labor and criminal legislation. Computer and economic espionage and counter espionage. Set off on knowledge of the ports, subject to mandatory hangover and three-day wakefulness. The admission to the exams is the presence of a certificate from Gates and a birthday greeting from Torvalds.
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Third course

Programming in possible (created and promising) languages. Creation of home pages, sites and portals, programs of management of banks and nuclear power plants, refrigerators and electric shavers. The exam is taken orally, the examinee speaks a programming language (at the teacher’s choice). To revitalize the exam, it is recommended to use drawings and sketches made in Auto, Mat-, Archi-kada, painted in Korela and Photoshop and preferably animated in at least three different 3D applications. As a practical task-pantomime on the topic of object-oriented programming.

Fourth year in college

Theoretical and applied psychology (to know Carnegie as a charter!), General and special linguistics (all slang and argot, Fenya, Albanian, elvish, orchy and accounting languages), theory and practice of pedagogy, teaching methods, age psychology, psychology of power, psychology crowds, practical hypnosis and altered states of consciousness.

Fifth year

Magic, witchcraft, shamanism, astrology and esotericism, in-depth study of descriptive, runic, ritual magic. Theology and Necromancy. Skills interrogation and torture cases. Test ritual around the server and interrogation of the dead, dumb and stupid user.

Source: folk art.