Mogadishu Olympic

Once I already published on Habré a small pie from my limited edition “Grandmother did not die - she was shut down to livelihoods” (2012), gain impudence to publish the second one. According to the genre, this is a sports dystopia with elements of technical invention, so that formal compliance with the criteria of the publication is met. If I am mistaken, please consider this post an application for the invention of a new sport.

At the end of the text is placed a survey on the desirability and legitimacy of placing art works on Habré.

Mogadishu Olympic

Vaskin in workouts and Anna in a bathrobe watching TV. Sports commentator poured nightingale.
')
Commentator
In touch Olympic Mogadishu.
Live. Today to be
We cheer for jumper lifters.
In the semi-finals of our Russians
One made its way from the entire application -
From Syktyvkar young athlete.
From the coaching did not put on him
None of the headquarters, but in the semifinals
The guy broke through contrary to forecasts
And it will qualify for the final ...
Cheer for Beslan Shpindaraki!

Vaskin
Yes it is Beska!

Anna
What, your friend?

Vaskin
I studied with Beskoy in one class!
We sat at a desk with him.
He used to be teased by Shpendik -
He cried in the corner, that's an eccentric!

Anna
I thought athletes are in olympic
Sports schools are trained.

Vaskin
Him
In the sports school from the second took the class.
Beskoy and I were selected to watch:
Competitions for children on the jump.
I got sick, caught a cold
And Beska won a prize
And a year later I went to a sports school.
Just think, Beska Shpindaraki!
In the semifinals! But I told him
Envied then - not in vain, as you can see!
How he felt that he would be chosen,
On training in Syktyvkar ukatit,
And I will stay. So worried
He spat on his plate of frustration.

Anna
What, right on the plate?

Vaskin
Very funny:
Buddy in the bowl of soup spit.
To whom you will tell, will not believe after all -
Fifteen years ago, it was all.
You imagine?!

Commentator
I represent everyone
Members of the current zapryga.
On the inside track will start
Ethiopian athlete famous -
Ngujahu Babihone. He is a winner
Past world cup
Indoors. The second
French jumper lifter starts
Anselmo Perez, light middleweight,
In this season, the leader.
Following the Frenchman lead the projectile
Thirty Years Old Cuban
Gotana Salvasore. Him
Of the semifinalists highest
Current rating. Oh so hard
We'll have Syktyvkar athlete!
But he is focused and ready
At least from the stands of the tribune to jump.
Cheer, Shpindaraki, for you -
All Russians support you.
And now the irresistible gong sounds!
Fortunately, without a false start ... Shpindaraki,
At the start, linger, on the second
Cast while on the jump track
But nothing, everything can make up ...
But what is it? What happened?!
Salvasore began to smoke jump.
Technical problems with jump!
Cuban who captured from the start
Second - extremely profitable - a place
Bypassing Perez, and behind him, and our
Athlete from Syktyvkar gifted.
Together they pursue the fact
Who is ahead - Nguzhadzhu Babihone.
But is it really going to go the distance
Gotana Salvasore ?! What can you say?
Yes, in sport there are no trifles:
The tiniest one flaw,
Second delay - and the athlete
Deprived of a well-deserved reward.
Cuban curb at the brakes,
At the Olympic Games performance
Finishing ... How upset he is,
The wife of an athlete is his whole team!
After all, preparing for the Games to begin
Comes with an infant diaper.
Attention! For the first charge
The Frenchman leaves. From the side track
The charger is approaching it.
Remind you: no right
Contenders to prevent the charger.
And if prevented, warning
May be rendered. Sometimes
Guilty from the track even asking ...
Oh, it is! Did you notice
French charger error?
He jumped the road jump
Beslan Shpindaraki as a result
What athlete lost our speed.
Punished such ... Where are the judges?
Slovak brigade of judges where ?!
Is it possible not to notice?
Ile rules do not comply
Allowed? .. Well, thank God, red
Judge jump hurries to intercept
Frenchman to remove from the competition.
No, just fine? One hundred and fifty points?
But still: Frenchman Anselmo Perez
No hope for the final -
One hundred and fifty points will not win.
Hanging up, he jumps
Back in the locker room with unfeigned
Offended on face. Bad luck!
But lucky maybe Shpindaraki
Meanwhile after twenty laps
Lead Ngujaja Babihone.
Recharged, fast Ethiopian
Flies on the wings to the finish line,
And Shpindaraki from last forces
At the tail of Babihon hold on
Tries It all depends on
Moral-strong-willed athlete qualities:
He will win, who has a stronger attitude,
Who is more focused on winning ...
Ay-yay-yay-yay! Have you seen which
Confusion occurred at Babihone?
Sank at the turn of the Ethiopian
Allowing a liftingist from Russia
Get close to a distance of two
Three meters from the projectile. Shpindaraki
I did not miss my opportunity:
Oscillating motion of the jumper -
And now dangles there -
Here in her projectile Babihon,
And our cold-blooded winner
Crosses the finish tape.
Oh, let the spirit translate!
And I do not remember right away how to win
Technical knockout at the end
Such a hard race got it.
Ay yes Beslan! What a great fellow!
I'm with this historic hop
Congratulations to all. Inscribed was
The history of the newest page:
Beslan Shpindaraki name in it
The capital font is ...

Vaskin
And could
I jump in the final but got sick
Cold, in Syktyvkar not selected,
But on the jump cool drove -
No worse than Besky Shpindaraki ...

Doorbell.

Anna
Are you waiting for someone?

Vaskin
I'm not waiting for anyone.
Now let's see who it said.

Slamming doors and muffled voices from the hallway. A minute later, two men in the same snow-white suits with Olympic symbols appear in the room, one younger and the other older.

Vaskin
Annie ...

Anna
How to understand all this?

Vaskin
Here ... To us from the committee ... Olympians ...

One of the guests
As far as I understand, madam
Vasiliev? .. No, Vaskina, excuse me ...
World Olympic Committee
Sent to you outfit official.
Here it is - the senior doping emissary
Gianluco Carlo del Piero Galassi.
And I am accompanying him,
Sergey Petrovich Ivanov-Razumnik.

Galassi
Ya-ya Nice to be familiar with you.
We conduct an excellent examination.

Vaskin
They will take a dope test -
I'm on a dope for some reason.

Anna
How does it concern you?

Ivanov
According to clause 5
Articles 6817
For outgoing 342
An athlete for doping can be tested
Participating in starts or not
Participating in the start of the Olympic,
Equally not Olympic, or one
Who lived together with the athlete,
Equally communicated or stayed
In the same room with him, if
World Olympic Committee
He deems it necessary to verify ...
This order is adopted in order
To less traumatize athletes,
I have to endure
And without that huge loads.
When athletes know: their friends,
Relatives and friends pass
Same as they dope control
Calm tolerate the procedure.

Anna
What does the husband have to do with it?

Ivanov
Fifteen years ago
He studied with the Olympian -
Beslan Shpindaraki. Have that
In one of the samples of old
Strictly prohibited drug -
Novozamol.

Anna
Beslan Shpindaraki?

Vaskin
Do Beski? !!! It can not be! Just
Semi-finals on TV watched.

Anna
Novozamol from a cold give
Breast kids! What are you doing!

Ivanov
I can not do anything.
World Olympic Committee
Regulations developed - we have it
Must adhere strictly.

Galassi
Do not worry! Worry - no!
One, two, four, ten - and ready.
Piping in a jar, and all
Done quickly. All Olympiads
Always in jars
And after smiling at the photo.
This is our Olympiad law.

Anna
But still ...

Vaskin
Let them take, Anyuta.

Galassi
Oh, how lovely! I will ask with me
Take cover in the toilet room.
I stare so that you do not replace
On a jar some other analysis.
And the more I do not stare, no, no!

Closed in the toilet.

Ivanov
Anyuta is Anya?

Anna
What do you want?

Ivanov
Not Mrs. Vaska, you click.

Anna
Well, Anna ...

Ivanov
And you are good here.
Such a green public garden next to the house.
Probably nice to walk in it ...

Vaskin is coming back from Galassi. In the hands of a senior doping emissary jar with analyzes.

Vaskin
We finished everything that was supposed to -
Satisfied with the Olympic Committee.

Anna
I, gentlemen, say goodbye to you.
Thank you for your visit.

Galassi
Oh sorry
I repeatedly for the invasion, only
Olympic regulations speak:
Until the control is complete, it is not possible
Olympians leave one.
Special medical machine
It is located near us -
We will give the analysis there now,
And after half an hour
We have the result to say to the speaker.

Anna
Can you walk, gentlemen?
We have a nice public garden near the house -
There wait half an hour ...

Vaskin
Annie!
What are you, really ?! After all guys
World Olympic Committee
In our apartment represent. You know ...

Anna
What else?

Vaskin
On the table we collect.
BUT? How are you, gentlemen, about snacks?
Would you like to eat in Russian,
And before that, a hundred grams with ustatku?

Ivanov
Well, if you invite ...

Galassi
Ya-ya
To me the result is to say to the speaker.

Anna, dissatisfied with unplanned chores, trudges into the kitchen. Ivanov is briefly absent in order to pass a sample for examination. Then the men sit down at the empty table while looking at each other with amiability. To kill the prolonged pause, Vaskin makes the TV louder: there is just Olympic advertising.

Advertising
Stronger, higher and faster!
Faster, stronger and as high as possible!
And if skeet shooting,
Then more accurate! And if you need to jump,
Then as far as possible! But always
To achieve overall progress,
To the glory of happiness, peace and love,
Which carries the Olympics
Participants and viewers of their -
To the peoples of our solar planet!

While the men are watching TV, Anna, who replaced the robe on the dress, sets out the cutlery and plates with homemade snacks. Soon the room becomes cozy and delicious.

Vaskin
Please do not be shy, gentlemen.
Everything is fresh, recently from the store ...

Ivanov
First for the mistress to drink me
I would like to: for the shelter hospitable
And female mistress beauty.

Galassi
Agree.

Vaskin
For you, Annie.

Galassi
I thank for such a reception.

Ivanov
I hope there is no offense between us:
We are officials, that's all ...

Vaskin
Down with who the old man remembers!
I propose to repeat immediately.
Yes, yes, like this ... Pour in full ...
Second raise a toast to my
Buddy Beslan Shpindaraki.
Once we were friends, and now
Beska became the property of the people.

Galassi
Oh, Shpindaraki! Jumperlifter!

Vaskin
So, say, this whole bagpipe
Due to the fact that with Beska for one
Did I rub my pants at school?

Galassi
Do not worry! Checked by those
To whom the lot has fallen!

Vaskin
And you would not help, gentlemen,
His otmazat? BUT? Not poplohe?
Well, why, as dope - immediately ours,
Russian someone? Like Russia
You sharpened the Olympic tooth.

Galassi
Oh, know! We try to objectively
The analysis is carried out as decided
In our Olympiad committee.
By the rules we always act -
Let not be offended Shpindaraki.

Vaskin
He is a hammer actually!

Galassi
Oh, I know!
Win Ngujaja Babihone!

Vaskin
Semifinal watched?

Galassi
Good
I peer. Perfectly! Superb
Knockout Babihone he send.

Vaskin
And Perez this on charging to hell!

Galassi
Gotana Salvasore ...

Vaskin
This sucker ...

Galassi
Bad Cuban! He is unmovable!
Cuban is nothing, brake ...

Vaskin
Yes Beska all beat on the class!

Galassi
Excellent, plus liftingist -
Reminds Franco Kokkaroni.

Vaskin
Well, you said! Kokkaroni all well
Three-time World Cup winner.

Galassi
Yours will be Shpindaraki fifth fold
Master of the World Cup, believe me.
He is the same aggressive style of driving,
Like Franco Kokkaroni. So Franco himself,
When i'm forty minutes behind
He called him, say with a smile.

Vaskin
So do you know each other?

Galassi
I've known him for a long time
For an urgent Olympic case.

Vaskin
Annie, do you hear ?!

Galassi
With Kokkaroni we
Rest often in Santo Martí:
Cooking grill and eat gongag.

Anna
Wow, gognag!

Vaskin
Well, vodka is not worse.
Would you like to take more on your chest?
Roll on, do not hesitate!

Galassi
I wallow,
Do not hesitate ... Mr. Vaskov,
You are a guest and besides
Fan understand. For you!

Vaskin
Well, we will ...

Ivanov
And for the lovely mistress.

Drink.

Vaskin
(softening)
You know, teased Beska as,
When we sat at a desk
And write maral?

Ivanov
So how?

Vaskin
We called Shpindaraki - Shpendik.

Galassi
Funny Russian name.

Ivanov
Yes, funny.

Vaskin
On jumps with Beskoy we drove.
I got sick, caught a cold
And Besku took on competition.
I got angry and then he
In the plate spat, can you imagine?

Ivanov
In the plate he spat? What for?

Vaskin
I say I'm terribly angry.
It's a shame that they take him
Compete, and me with a cold ...
Baby what to say!

Ivanov
Are you ill
And angry, spat on the plate
Beslan Shpindaraki before
How did he leave for the competition?
Did I understand you correctly?

Vaskin
How many years
Since then, it is impossible to imagine.
You eat, eat ...

Ivanov
We are already fed up.

Galassi
Pamper yourself.

Vaskin
What?
What are you guys?

Ivanov
Are you ill
In the plate Olympian Shpindaraki
Spit your left? In saliva
Surely the drugs were contained,
Which then you were treated -
Novozamol, indisputably.

Vaskin
Do you want to
To tell…

Ivanov
I don't say anything
But no doubt, unfortunately:
Everything is too obvious. Before,
How to allow an athlete to Olympic
World Games, try it out
Takes from previous speeches.
Shpindaraki took a sample of that
From school starts, for rechecking
And they revealed in her novozamol.
With Novozamol together - foreign
The material is subgenic because
World Olympic Committee
Collectively it was decided:
Recheck anyone with an athlete
Studied together or lived.

Vaskin
But this is ridiculous!

Ivanov
To you very soon
Will be charged under the article
187, subparagraph 4:
Doping is equal to
Other substances not allowed for food.
Fifteen years, with the ability to soften
The blame on the construction sites of the Olympic ...
Are you ashamed or still funny?

Vaskin
I did not want!

Ivanov
And why did they spit in soup?

Vaskin
I was a kid.

Ivanov
You have long been
Not a boy. Why, let me know,
With confession did not appear in the committee
World Olympic? You know
In a shameful position which
Your classmate is now,
Not to mention the whole league
Russian jumplifting sports?

Vaskin
Annie, what do they say?
That I am fifteen years old at construction sites!

Anna
How? What? You ... Why are they?

Phone call. Vaskin automatically reaches for his pipe.

Galassi
You can not touch the tube!

Ivanov
Speak

Includes a speakerphone.

Vaskin
Hello Hello?

Vote
I ask Vaskina.

Vaskin
On the phone.

Vote
This is Shpindaraki
Beslan ... From Mogadishu ...

Vaskin
Beska, are you ?!

Vote
Listen, Vaska ... They just told me
What are you medicine spat in the soup -
Came the official cart.
How could you, Vaska, disgustingly with me,
So mean to do? After all, we were friends.
And you me ... you know how me
Framed?

Vaskin
Beska ...

Vote
I'm in Syktyvkar
Daddy Carlo plowed so many years!
Four times a day workout.
My health was sneak,
The team would get. At the moment of the last
I was selected, became an Olympian.
Oh, I think it will be in Mogadishu:
I'll die and my rivals
No worse than Kokkroni izmochalu!
He even made it to the finals ... Everything, a bummer.
Do not you know, they are some goats
World Olympic Committee!
To the finals I just will not be allowed
From all competitions will be removed
Lifetime, and the League will not:
In the Russian League ended the loot -
Only champions are discarded.

Vaskin
Listen, Beska ...

Vote
All down the drain.
In vain I, goes, in Syktyvkar
Daddy Carlo plowed for so many years.
What did you try for the sake of?

Vaskin
Beska, Beska ...

Vote
You, Vaska, you bastard, life broke me.

Short beeps.

Galassi
Confirmation arrived at the speaker:
Subgenic material is the same.

Ivanov
(Vaska)
Change clothes. You will have with us
Drive to the Olympic prison.

Vaskin
And the prison? .. Me? .. And not to go to hell with you!
Get out of here!

Grabs Ivanov by the breast. Galassi beats Vaskina in the kidneys, and he collapses on the sofa, as knocked down.

Galassi
I'm a former olympiad champion!
Sports box Heavy weight.

At this moment, Anna seems to be waking up. She throws herself on the chest of her fallen husband and starts to whip him on the cheeks, with the words:

Anna
Monster, monster! How can you? ..

Vaskin
Annie, what are you doing?

Anna
I guess I
Blind with love when she thought
What I live with my husband - no husband,
The traitor has Russian interests:
Gold medals for you
Now Russia will miss.

Vaskin
Annie, that you ...

Anna
What have you done!

Sobs.

Ivanov
You need to put yourself in order.
Come, Anya, I will escort you.

Leads her to the bathroom.

Galassi
Oh, Mr. Vaskov, as unknowingly,
Superior strength to apply!
At the mercy of our Olympiad
Hope now hard for you.

Vaskin
Hope ... And I tell you, infection
As a person, vodka poured!

A group of armed men in snow-white protective uniforms with Olympic rings is formed at the door by itself. The Olympians, led by Galassi, pick up Vaskin by the arms and take him outside. A room with a table and chairs set aside for some time is empty, then Ivanov and Anna appear in it.

Ivanov
And do not worry, for the sake of God.
You are young, beautiful. You imagine
Chosen more worthy to find -
An athlete maybe. I am a child myself
Jumped on the lanes
Chasing and falling in love with this sport.
And your ex-husband ... That scum
Forget, as if it was not:
Do not meet you more, I promise.

Anna
I understand.

Ivanov
Still for you
I worry a lot. If I’m allowed
You have to stay the night, the soul
My calmer would be.

Anna
Thank.
And yet, not worth it ... I'm alone
I want to be today.

Ivanov
Leave,
At least the number. You in the morning
I'll call you back to see if everything is all right -
Tell me how you spent the night.

Anna
Here, recorded ...

Ivanov
Anya, goodbye!
Just tell me if you believe
In love from the look of the first - such
Which all the boulders on the way
Sweeps like lightweight fluff?
Such that ... Shut up! Nothing
Do not answer, Anya, and take courage -
We'll talk tomorrow morning.

Shuts the door behind him. Left alone, Anna wanders into another room to appear in the same robe in a second. . , , , .



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