Social personality
- We received your resume, Arkady, thank you. We invite you to our office for an interview, - the voice in the handset sounded firm, but kind.
Having agreed on the time and place of the meeting, Arkady hung up. There was a blissful smile on his face. Immediately, he wanted to shout a joyful cry to the world about his good fortune, but fearing to frighten off this very good, he spoke in a loud whisper, as if continuing the conversation with an invisible potential employer:
- You see, you will not regret! Yes I, I know that I can, uh! I am hardworking, responsible, decent, initiative ... and most importantly modest.
')
From his last named quality, Arkady turned cold. It even seemed to him that it was not he who said this, but a firm telephone voice in his head, but he only repeated. But, having doubted a minute, Arkady calmed down, sat down at the table and plunged headlong into the World Wide Web, to be exact, into its social network component.
He was busy with an extremely important matter - it was necessary to check new messages that appeared in the groups during his absence and respond to new invitations. And I must admit that there were countless groups of groups (or clubs, or any other associations — each network has its own terminology) in which Arkady was a member. Considering himself a man of an exclusively new information millennium, Arkady simply had to be aware of all the events, trends and new directions.
Using the Windows XP operating shell, at the same time, Arkady was keenly interested in new products in the Linux system and could spend hours discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the new Leopard. Without writing a single line of program code, Arkady deftly used in his speech such words as Ruby on Rails, Django, MVC or OOP, considering that all these are the names of scripts in PHP. Naturally Arkady could not be in the clubs of time managers, venture capital investors and other "capitalists." No, by no means such a membership did not add profits to Arkady, but, as it seemed to him, he enhanced his status. Let only in your own eyes.
After all, the author was a little impudent when he said that our hero did not write a single command line. One was - rm -rf / - according to the “advice” of some joker from the group “Ubuntu and Linux for navyvk !!! Noobs of Suda !!!!!!!!!! ”, which killed the newly installed distribution kit. But I must say that at that moment Arkady was doing a good job - it was not for nothing that he joined the club “Self-knowledge. Self improvement. Self-sacrifice. Dump truck. Not only did Arkady not get upset, he even fell in love with this team and performed it quite regularly. This allowed him to drive his GoogleTalk interlocutors into reverent awe with the phrase “Sorry, I don’t have to reassemble the core.” Of course, it all came down to the routine installation of the Ubuntu distribution, but the “core” sounded magically.
By itself, besides membership in various “serious” communities, Arkady was in more prosaic clubs - for the soul, so to speak, or rather for entertainment. And it is precisely this kind of membership that was for our Arkady the very essence of the flagship of the Web 2.0 - social networks.
So, Arkady sat and read fresh news from social fields, when suddenly an idea occurred to him - and suddenly Arkady and the employees of the company, who invited him for an interview, have mutual virtual friends. After several attempts to search, Arkady was upset - there was no mention of the company anywhere - not in “My Ellipse”, not in “FakeBook”, nor in the networks of “MyBackSpace” or “Classmates”.
- How so? - Arkady was surprised. - Do they really know nothing about social networks? Well, nothing, I'll tell them something!
Arkady closed his eyes and felt like a very good person, an apostle of information progress carrying light and knowledge to people. Suddenly he jumped up and ran to the mirror. Standing in front of him, he began to rehearse a handshake — the first greeting, with eyes screaming, “I'm the one you need,” and the second is for parting, with a squint, supposedly, “see you in the office, a colleague. A career ladder of marble, with a carpet and massive oak railings clearly presented itself to Arcadia.
Come the long-awaited day of the interview. Arkady personally saw the owner of a firm but kind telephone voice. A middle-aged man extended his hand to Arkady, but not for a handshake, but in order to point to a chair, and said: "Please sit down, Arkady Sergeevich." The voice was still firm, but it sounded, as it seemed to Arkady, even kinder than on the telephone. Having once again run his eyes over the sheet with the printed summary of Arkady, the man spoke, now looking directly into the eyes of the candidate for a new position:
- Unfortunately, Arkady Sergeevich, we are forced to refuse you.
Instantly, Arkady’s gaze changed and now his face resembled the boy’s face from the reproduction of the painting “We didn’t take a fishing trip” from the flyleaf of the Russian language textbook for the fifth grade.
- A person who spends so much time on social networks is simply not physically able to be a good worker.
The man got up from the table and extended his hand to Arkady as a sign that the audience was over. The career ladder swayed under Arkady's feet, he fell and hit the marble steps painfully. Not shaking an outstretched hand, Arkady jumped out of the office - he did not rehearse such a farewell.
At night, Arkady had a nightmare. As if he was surrounded by thousands of people with avatars instead of faces, stretched his arms to him and claimed that they were his friends. Arkady shook all this countless hands. From this, his palms became hot, dirty and sticky.
Waking up, terrified, Arkady ran to the bathroom and washed his hands with soap for a long time.
Text: P. Shevtsov
Having agreed on the time and place of the meeting, Arkady hung up. There was a blissful smile on his face. Immediately, he wanted to shout a joyful cry to the world about his good fortune, but fearing to frighten off this very good, he spoke in a loud whisper, as if continuing the conversation with an invisible potential employer:
- You see, you will not regret! Yes I, I know that I can, uh! I am hardworking, responsible, decent, initiative ... and most importantly modest.
')
From his last named quality, Arkady turned cold. It even seemed to him that it was not he who said this, but a firm telephone voice in his head, but he only repeated. But, having doubted a minute, Arkady calmed down, sat down at the table and plunged headlong into the World Wide Web, to be exact, into its social network component.
He was busy with an extremely important matter - it was necessary to check new messages that appeared in the groups during his absence and respond to new invitations. And I must admit that there were countless groups of groups (or clubs, or any other associations — each network has its own terminology) in which Arkady was a member. Considering himself a man of an exclusively new information millennium, Arkady simply had to be aware of all the events, trends and new directions.
Using the Windows XP operating shell, at the same time, Arkady was keenly interested in new products in the Linux system and could spend hours discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the new Leopard. Without writing a single line of program code, Arkady deftly used in his speech such words as Ruby on Rails, Django, MVC or OOP, considering that all these are the names of scripts in PHP. Naturally Arkady could not be in the clubs of time managers, venture capital investors and other "capitalists." No, by no means such a membership did not add profits to Arkady, but, as it seemed to him, he enhanced his status. Let only in your own eyes.
After all, the author was a little impudent when he said that our hero did not write a single command line. One was - rm -rf / - according to the “advice” of some joker from the group “Ubuntu and Linux for navyvk !!! Noobs of Suda !!!!!!!!!! ”, which killed the newly installed distribution kit. But I must say that at that moment Arkady was doing a good job - it was not for nothing that he joined the club “Self-knowledge. Self improvement. Self-sacrifice. Dump truck. Not only did Arkady not get upset, he even fell in love with this team and performed it quite regularly. This allowed him to drive his GoogleTalk interlocutors into reverent awe with the phrase “Sorry, I don’t have to reassemble the core.” Of course, it all came down to the routine installation of the Ubuntu distribution, but the “core” sounded magically.
By itself, besides membership in various “serious” communities, Arkady was in more prosaic clubs - for the soul, so to speak, or rather for entertainment. And it is precisely this kind of membership that was for our Arkady the very essence of the flagship of the Web 2.0 - social networks.
So, Arkady sat and read fresh news from social fields, when suddenly an idea occurred to him - and suddenly Arkady and the employees of the company, who invited him for an interview, have mutual virtual friends. After several attempts to search, Arkady was upset - there was no mention of the company anywhere - not in “My Ellipse”, not in “FakeBook”, nor in the networks of “MyBackSpace” or “Classmates”.
- How so? - Arkady was surprised. - Do they really know nothing about social networks? Well, nothing, I'll tell them something!
Arkady closed his eyes and felt like a very good person, an apostle of information progress carrying light and knowledge to people. Suddenly he jumped up and ran to the mirror. Standing in front of him, he began to rehearse a handshake — the first greeting, with eyes screaming, “I'm the one you need,” and the second is for parting, with a squint, supposedly, “see you in the office, a colleague. A career ladder of marble, with a carpet and massive oak railings clearly presented itself to Arcadia.
Come the long-awaited day of the interview. Arkady personally saw the owner of a firm but kind telephone voice. A middle-aged man extended his hand to Arkady, but not for a handshake, but in order to point to a chair, and said: "Please sit down, Arkady Sergeevich." The voice was still firm, but it sounded, as it seemed to Arkady, even kinder than on the telephone. Having once again run his eyes over the sheet with the printed summary of Arkady, the man spoke, now looking directly into the eyes of the candidate for a new position:
- Unfortunately, Arkady Sergeevich, we are forced to refuse you.
Instantly, Arkady’s gaze changed and now his face resembled the boy’s face from the reproduction of the painting “We didn’t take a fishing trip” from the flyleaf of the Russian language textbook for the fifth grade.
- A person who spends so much time on social networks is simply not physically able to be a good worker.
The man got up from the table and extended his hand to Arkady as a sign that the audience was over. The career ladder swayed under Arkady's feet, he fell and hit the marble steps painfully. Not shaking an outstretched hand, Arkady jumped out of the office - he did not rehearse such a farewell.
At night, Arkady had a nightmare. As if he was surrounded by thousands of people with avatars instead of faces, stretched his arms to him and claimed that they were his friends. Arkady shook all this countless hands. From this, his palms became hot, dirty and sticky.
Waking up, terrified, Arkady ran to the bathroom and washed his hands with soap for a long time.
Text: P. Shevtsov
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/16772/
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