A brief, incomplete, and mostly incorrect history of programming languages
I present to you a free translation of the comic article by James Iry "A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages" - the article is old, and if someone points to an existing translation - I will be very grateful, because I did not find it.
1801 - Joseph Marie Jacquard instructing a loom to put “Hello World” on the tapestry using punched cards. The programmers of the time were disappointed by the lack of tail optimization, parallelism and proper treatment of capital letters.
1842 - Ada Lovles writes the first program. Her attempts are made more difficult by the absence of a computer capable of running her code. System architects will later revive its approach by programming in UML.
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1936 - Alan Turing invents all the programming languages ​​that will ever be invented, but British intelligence recruits him under the code 007 before he has time to patent them all.
1936 - Alonzo Church also invents all programming languages, but makes it even better. His lamba calculus is not recognized, as it is not sufficiently C-like. Critics are tearing apart Alonzo, ignoring the fact that C has not yet been invented.
1940s - New-fashioned “computers” are “programmed” by switching levers and twisting wires. Programmers use such methods to avoid holivar about spaces and tabs.
1957 - John Backus and IBM invent FORTRAN. There is nothing funny in the words of IBM or FORTRAN. The compiler will give an error if you write on FORTRAN without wearing a blue tie.
1958 - John McCarthy and Paul Graham invent LISP. Due to the high costs caused by the post-war depletion of strategic stocks of brackets, LISP never becomes popular. Despite oblivion, LISP (and now Lisp, and sometimes even Arc) remains an influential language in “key algorithmic techniques such as recursion and leniency”
1959 - Losing a bet to Ron.L. Hubbard, Grace Hopper, and a couple more sadists invent the Coding of Obvious Bugs with Huge Letters (COBOL). Years later, as an unjustly sexist retribution against the work of Admiral Hopper on COBOL, Rubist often use misogynistic words at their conferences.
1964 - John Kemeny and Thomas Kurtz create BASIC, an unstructured programming language for professionals outside the field of computers.
1965 - Kemeny and Kurtz GOTO 1964.
1970 - Guy Steele and Gerald Sussman invent Scheme. Their work leads to the creation of a series of publications "Perfect Lambda", the peak of which is "Lambda - Perfect Kitchen Utensils". This publication is the basis for a long-running, but fundamentally unsuccessful race of evening commercials. The lambdas have sunk into relative obscurity until the lack of lambdas in Java has made them popular again.
1970 - Nicholas Wirth introduces Pascal, a procedural language. Critics immediately express dissatisfaction with the use of the expressions "x: = x + y" instead of the usual C-like "x = x + y". And again, critics do not care that the C language has not even been invented yet.
1972 - The Great and Terrible Dennis Ritchie invents a deadly weapon that shoots back and forth immediately. Dissatisfied with the number of subsequent deaths and severe injuries, he invents Xi and Unix.
1972 - Alan Colmerauer successfully designs the logical language Prolog. The purpose of the creator was to invent a language with the intelligence of a two-year-old child. Alan achieves his goal by demonstrating an interactive program on the Prologue, which answers “No.” to any question asked.
1973 - Robin Milner creates ML, a language based on the M & M type theory. ML generates SML, which has formally described semantics. When Milner is asked to clarify the formal semantics of formal semantics, his head explodes. Other well-known languages ​​from the ML family are OCaml, F #, and Visual Basic.
1980 - Alan Kay creates Smalltalk and invents the term "object-oriented." When asked to clarify a new term, he responds that "Smalltalk programs are just objects." When asked what the objects consist of, he answers “From objects.” If you ask him again, he will answer, “Well, all objects are everywhere and turtles are at the bottom.”
1983 - In honor of Ada Lovles' ability to write programs that no one has ever launched, Gene Ichbia at the US Department of Defense creates the programming language Ada. Due to the lack of evidence that at least one really useful or significant program is written in the language of "Hell", historians sincerely believe in the exceptional public utility of the language that keeps thousands of army contractors at the computer, suppressing their desire for hooliganism and street debauches.
1983 - Bjorn Stroustrup overthrows all his knowledge and conjectures in the C language, as a result of receiving C ++. The programs written on it are so complex that they need to be sent to the future in order for Skynet to compile them. Compile time is growing exponentially. It remains unknown what prompts Skynet to engage in such dubious activities, but parliamentarians from the future, with monotonous Austrian dialect, argue that "nothing to worry about, baby."
1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, insisting that their language "combines Sishna's absolute security in working with memory and the lightning speed of Smalltalk." Modern historians suspect that both comrades were dyslexics.
1987 - Larry Wall falls asleep and hits Larry Wall on the keyboard with his forehead. Waking up, Larry Wall realizes that the symbols appearing on the screen are not random, but are an example of a program in a language that, according to God's will, His prophet, Larry Wall, must invent. This is how Perl is born.
1990 - A committee formed by Simon Peyton-Jones, Paul Hadok, Phillip Wadler, Ashton Kutcher and the Society for the Ethical Treatment of Animals creates Haskell, a clean, unstrict functional programming language. Haskell encounters resistance due to the difficulty of using monads to control side effects. Wadler tries to appease the critics, explaining that “a monad is just a monoid in the monoidal category of endofunctors, what is there to understand?”
1991 - Dutch programmer Guido van Rossum goes to Argentina for a mysterious operation. Returning with a huge scar on the skull, he invents Python, is declared Lifetime Dictator by legions of followers and declares to the world that "There is Only One Way to Do It." Poles are beginning to noticeably nervous.
1995 - In a small Italian restaurant Rasmus Leodorf is a revelation that spaghetti on his plate represents the most approximate model of the World Wide Web, and that web applications should follow the architecture of his model. On the back of the napkin, he embodies Web-Chaotic Programming (PCP). The PCP documentation is still on that napkin.
1995 - Yukihiro "Mad Macks" Matsumoto creates Ruby to prevent the vaguely described local apocalypse, which will turn Australia into a lifeless desert, ruled by punk gangsters and Tina Turner. The language was later renamed “Ruby on Rails” by its true inventor David Heinemeyer Hansson. [In fact, Matsumoto never invented Ruby, and it would be better to remove the mention of this nonsense from the next version of this article. - D.H.H.]
1996 - Brandon Eich scrupulously studies all the mistakes ever made in the design of programming languages, invents several new ones and creates LiveScript. After trying to make money on the success of Java, he renames the language in JavaScript. Even later, trying to catch a wave of popularity of skin diseases, renames it ECMAScript.
1996 - James Gosling invents Java. It is a relatively readable, class-based garbage collection, statically typed, object-oriented language without multiple inheritance of implementations but with multiple inheritance of interfaces. Sun publicly announces the novelty of Java.
2001 - Anders Hejlsberg invents C #. It is a relatively readable, class-based garbage collection, statically typed, object-oriented language without multiple inheritance of implementations but with multiple inheritance of interfaces. Microsoft publicly announces the novelty of C #.
2003 - Drunk in the insole of Martin Odersky, after viewing an advertisement for peanut butter, in which someone's butter gets on someone's chocolate, is a revelation. He creates Scala, a language that combines the approaches of object-oriented and functional languages. Subsequently, the adherents of both types of languages ​​in turn get annoyed and declare a holy war to each other and Martin.
Original article in English .
1801 - Joseph Marie Jacquard instructing a loom to put “Hello World” on the tapestry using punched cards. The programmers of the time were disappointed by the lack of tail optimization, parallelism and proper treatment of capital letters.
1842 - Ada Lovles writes the first program. Her attempts are made more difficult by the absence of a computer capable of running her code. System architects will later revive its approach by programming in UML.
')
1936 - Alan Turing invents all the programming languages ​​that will ever be invented, but British intelligence recruits him under the code 007 before he has time to patent them all.
1936 - Alonzo Church also invents all programming languages, but makes it even better. His lamba calculus is not recognized, as it is not sufficiently C-like. Critics are tearing apart Alonzo, ignoring the fact that C has not yet been invented.
1940s - New-fashioned “computers” are “programmed” by switching levers and twisting wires. Programmers use such methods to avoid holivar about spaces and tabs.
1957 - John Backus and IBM invent FORTRAN. There is nothing funny in the words of IBM or FORTRAN. The compiler will give an error if you write on FORTRAN without wearing a blue tie.
1958 - John McCarthy and Paul Graham invent LISP. Due to the high costs caused by the post-war depletion of strategic stocks of brackets, LISP never becomes popular. Despite oblivion, LISP (and now Lisp, and sometimes even Arc) remains an influential language in “key algorithmic techniques such as recursion and leniency”
1959 - Losing a bet to Ron.L. Hubbard, Grace Hopper, and a couple more sadists invent the Coding of Obvious Bugs with Huge Letters (COBOL). Years later, as an unjustly sexist retribution against the work of Admiral Hopper on COBOL, Rubist often use misogynistic words at their conferences.
1964 - John Kemeny and Thomas Kurtz create BASIC, an unstructured programming language for professionals outside the field of computers.
1965 - Kemeny and Kurtz GOTO 1964.
1970 - Guy Steele and Gerald Sussman invent Scheme. Their work leads to the creation of a series of publications "Perfect Lambda", the peak of which is "Lambda - Perfect Kitchen Utensils". This publication is the basis for a long-running, but fundamentally unsuccessful race of evening commercials. The lambdas have sunk into relative obscurity until the lack of lambdas in Java has made them popular again.
1970 - Nicholas Wirth introduces Pascal, a procedural language. Critics immediately express dissatisfaction with the use of the expressions "x: = x + y" instead of the usual C-like "x = x + y". And again, critics do not care that the C language has not even been invented yet.
1972 - The Great and Terrible Dennis Ritchie invents a deadly weapon that shoots back and forth immediately. Dissatisfied with the number of subsequent deaths and severe injuries, he invents Xi and Unix.
1972 - Alan Colmerauer successfully designs the logical language Prolog. The purpose of the creator was to invent a language with the intelligence of a two-year-old child. Alan achieves his goal by demonstrating an interactive program on the Prologue, which answers “No.” to any question asked.
1973 - Robin Milner creates ML, a language based on the M & M type theory. ML generates SML, which has formally described semantics. When Milner is asked to clarify the formal semantics of formal semantics, his head explodes. Other well-known languages ​​from the ML family are OCaml, F #, and Visual Basic.
1980 - Alan Kay creates Smalltalk and invents the term "object-oriented." When asked to clarify a new term, he responds that "Smalltalk programs are just objects." When asked what the objects consist of, he answers “From objects.” If you ask him again, he will answer, “Well, all objects are everywhere and turtles are at the bottom.”
1983 - In honor of Ada Lovles' ability to write programs that no one has ever launched, Gene Ichbia at the US Department of Defense creates the programming language Ada. Due to the lack of evidence that at least one really useful or significant program is written in the language of "Hell", historians sincerely believe in the exceptional public utility of the language that keeps thousands of army contractors at the computer, suppressing their desire for hooliganism and street debauches.
1983 - Bjorn Stroustrup overthrows all his knowledge and conjectures in the C language, as a result of receiving C ++. The programs written on it are so complex that they need to be sent to the future in order for Skynet to compile them. Compile time is growing exponentially. It remains unknown what prompts Skynet to engage in such dubious activities, but parliamentarians from the future, with monotonous Austrian dialect, argue that "nothing to worry about, baby."
1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, insisting that their language "combines Sishna's absolute security in working with memory and the lightning speed of Smalltalk." Modern historians suspect that both comrades were dyslexics.
1987 - Larry Wall falls asleep and hits Larry Wall on the keyboard with his forehead. Waking up, Larry Wall realizes that the symbols appearing on the screen are not random, but are an example of a program in a language that, according to God's will, His prophet, Larry Wall, must invent. This is how Perl is born.
1990 - A committee formed by Simon Peyton-Jones, Paul Hadok, Phillip Wadler, Ashton Kutcher and the Society for the Ethical Treatment of Animals creates Haskell, a clean, unstrict functional programming language. Haskell encounters resistance due to the difficulty of using monads to control side effects. Wadler tries to appease the critics, explaining that “a monad is just a monoid in the monoidal category of endofunctors, what is there to understand?”
1991 - Dutch programmer Guido van Rossum goes to Argentina for a mysterious operation. Returning with a huge scar on the skull, he invents Python, is declared Lifetime Dictator by legions of followers and declares to the world that "There is Only One Way to Do It." Poles are beginning to noticeably nervous.
1995 - In a small Italian restaurant Rasmus Leodorf is a revelation that spaghetti on his plate represents the most approximate model of the World Wide Web, and that web applications should follow the architecture of his model. On the back of the napkin, he embodies Web-Chaotic Programming (PCP). The PCP documentation is still on that napkin.
1995 - Yukihiro "Mad Macks" Matsumoto creates Ruby to prevent the vaguely described local apocalypse, which will turn Australia into a lifeless desert, ruled by punk gangsters and Tina Turner. The language was later renamed “Ruby on Rails” by its true inventor David Heinemeyer Hansson. [In fact, Matsumoto never invented Ruby, and it would be better to remove the mention of this nonsense from the next version of this article. - D.H.H.]
1996 - Brandon Eich scrupulously studies all the mistakes ever made in the design of programming languages, invents several new ones and creates LiveScript. After trying to make money on the success of Java, he renames the language in JavaScript. Even later, trying to catch a wave of popularity of skin diseases, renames it ECMAScript.
1996 - James Gosling invents Java. It is a relatively readable, class-based garbage collection, statically typed, object-oriented language without multiple inheritance of implementations but with multiple inheritance of interfaces. Sun publicly announces the novelty of Java.
2001 - Anders Hejlsberg invents C #. It is a relatively readable, class-based garbage collection, statically typed, object-oriented language without multiple inheritance of implementations but with multiple inheritance of interfaces. Microsoft publicly announces the novelty of C #.
2003 - Drunk in the insole of Martin Odersky, after viewing an advertisement for peanut butter, in which someone's butter gets on someone's chocolate, is a revelation. He creates Scala, a language that combines the approaches of object-oriented and functional languages. Subsequently, the adherents of both types of languages ​​in turn get annoyed and declare a holy war to each other and Martin.
Original article in English .
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/165093/
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