The amazing story of John McCafie

What is the craziest story of last week? Of course, the story told by John McCaffie himself is how he became the head of intelligence in Belize , handing out laptops infected with malware to officials, and responsible for a group of 29 “operatives” monitoring these machines.

McCaffie, once famous as an American antivirus expert, left the United States several years ago and disappeared into his “kingdom of darkness” in the jungles of Belize . He was known as an eccentric and made sure that Belize’s special forces broke into his private property with the suspicion that McCaffy had a methamphetamine laboratory. Then the neighbor McCaffie was killed, and John hit the run, telling everyone who at least somehow was interested that the Belize police were going to kill him (the police explained this only by saying that he wanted to ask him a couple of questions and absolutely nothing about him suspected). And now, after he slipped across the border with Guatemala (a long and crazy story in itself), again in the US - he finally got to his blog to tell about himself, John McCaffy, intelligence chief.
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Everything was arranged like this:

I purchased 75 cheap laptops and, with the help of people entrusted to me, installed keyboard loggers. Those that sent all the input straight to me. Also, on command, I could turn on the microphone and camera, and send the entire recording back to my computer. I set everything up as if the computers were new. After that, I started handing them as gifts to officials and police officers. Assistant ministers, girlfriends of influential people, lovers of powerful women. I hired 4 people whom I trusted, who were busy only with studying all the incoming material for passwords to mailboxes, facebook, closed forums and other classified accounts. Documented absolutely everything.

Then I picked up people for social engineering, which I was going to do. 23 women and 6 men became my operatives. Eight women eventually settled with me - which turned out to be effective and ended up starting to test each other. One of them (Marcia) subsequently became a double agent and nearly killed me.

This major operation, in which one gringo decided to follow half of the Belize government, went smoothly, and McCaffy became something of a godlike superspy.
“What I found was, for the most part, expected,” writes McCaffie, “Countless love affairs, completely shameless and intimate correspondences. Many simultaneous manifestations of love, envy and anger. ” No one could resist his operatives. Looking through all his irresistible women, he found the one that achieved success with the right politician.

Laptops were not enough for him. McCaffie says he also wanted to wiretap all his goals. He claims to have visited two local telephone companies and calculated key players able to audition and identify all contact numbers. His team then found out contact information about the wives and husbands of these key people, found out the names of all the drug dealers of these workers (if any), the names of respected family members, as well as the names of their “interests on the side”. Being experts in bed conversations, they found out everything they could.

You, dear readers, are probably not shocked by the fact that the operation of McCaphie revealed not only minor corruption and shameful secrets, but also the existence of a network of Hezbal groups responsible for transferring 11 Lebanese within one month to America . Of course, they were most likely terrorists. One of them planned to produce the deadly poison ricin from plants growing in a training camp in Nicaragua.

McCaffie, of course (!), Discovered this camp.

I know all this because, in the last three months, I had two people in Nicaragua who established contact with this camp. Also, I had three people in Mexico who had established contact with the drug barons of the Zeta group. I will not disclose any information that could compromise these five.

Oh yeah, and as it turned out, the Prime Minister was going to kill someone.

What prompted McCafie to launch the most impudent espionage operation against the state of Belize? Who knows? He, of course - no.

“I myself do not know what I wanted to achieve,” he writes. “Satisfaction with revenge, maybe. Get your go back? May be. Pure muscle pleasure? I can not answer for sure. Most of my life is a mystery to me. In addition, I will say - I did it because I could. ”

To be honest, it's hard to believe all this. McCaffie has a long history of fake heart attacks, fake blog posts and a charge of deliberate insanity. Take a look, for example, in a long article in Wired about him.

Two years after moving to Belize, McCaffie began to send a lot of requests to Bluelight.ru, the drug forum. He explained this by starting experimenting with MDPV, a psychoactive stimulant found in bath salts, a class of drugs that have the same effect as amphetamines and cocaine. “For the first time when I started these experiments, I accidentally poured on my fingers, after which I did not sleep for 4 days. I had visual and auditory hallucinations and an attack of the worst paranoia in my life. ” McCaffie pointed out, however, that increased sexual obsession leveled all risks. He also claimed that he produced 50 pounds of MDPV in 2010. "I sold 3,000 doses exclusively in Belize." But neither Emshwiller, Adonisio (Emshwiller, Adonizio) and no one else whom I spoke with did not notice him during the production of such drugs. So how could he produce 50 pounds so that no one noticed?

McCaffie has a simple explanation: all you had to do was come up with a trick that would make addicts try a harmful drug. "It was all so damn frivolous." He himself refuses to ever try this substance: “If I try something, it will be something I know, like mushrooms or cocaine. But everyone who knows me, knows that I will never try anything at all. ”

Who knows, maybe this is just an attempt by McCuffe to write in the genre of criminal fiction? If so, then absolutely nothing.