If programming languages ​​were girls ...

Warning: this translation is purely humorous in nature and is intended solely to lift the mood. This habratopic may be a logical continuation of another similar habratopic year old.


PHP is your first school love, the one that you were shyly holding by the hand, walking through the park. Yes, maybe then you could spend nights with her, but think twice before starting a more serious relationship with her - a friend can be a problem!
')
Perl is PHP's older sister. To your taste, it most likely will seem too old, but in the nineties she lit it up properly! Now, however, it no longer seems like such a bomb, and people rarely remember it.

Ruby is a very fashionable and popular friend. When you first saw her, your breath stopped, your heart began to pound, and you were overwhelmed by its beauty. And with her very fun. And although a few years ago, she noticeably slowed down, lately she has matured considerably.

Python is a very sensitive (to your indentation) and ruby ​​boring sister.

Java is an adult and successful careerist. Where she lacks erudition, she uses her external data, and this is usually enough to impress serious uncles in strict suits. Looking at it, it seems to you that you have found the one with which you can settle down and start building a family life. The main thing is to prepare yourself for her constant whining, like "NO IS NOT SO IMPOSSIBLE, WHY YOU ALWAYS USE NOT THE SAME TYPE AND YOU LOOK FOR EVERYTHING THAN YOU MISSING THE POINT WITH A WAY"

C ++ is a Java cousin. They are similar in many respects, but the main difference is that C ++ does not believe in automatic memory allocation in the counter, so be alert.

C is a C ++ mom. Mention her name in a conversation with someone gray and bearded, and you will see the light in their eyes, and they will remember the old days!

Objective C - another representative of the family of beauties S. So it happened that this friend joined a strange religion, and does not want to communicate with anyone who is not dedicated to it.

Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their girlfriends are fashionable intellectuals in berets and with bangs that you probably remember in the summer camp when they were giving you daring challenges. Naturally, summer novels can not be with a serious relationship, and therefore you had to part (you occasionally repeat this yourself). However, in your head constantly arises the thought of peace - " and what would happen if ... ?"

Because of her reputation, they look askance at C # . She knows where to get absolutely anything, thereby enticing you to her “clan”. Hey, need a database? One call to MSSQL brother and you're done. Looking for a place to stay for a while? Her daddy rents you a flat on Azure Street. Are you starting to doubt your relationship with her? Too late, you are part of the family, and there is no turning back!

JavaScript - stop, this is the girl with whom you had the first kiss, isn't it? Yes, yes, even before the appearance of PHP in your life! I wonder how she's doing there? I heard that her career was rapidly going uphill. It is necessary for her to call, so to speak, to catch up. Just look - yes, she is from head to toe in jQuery design stuff! Some of the ugly duckling grew up in this beautiful swan!