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It occurred to me here that we are very lacking in “honest brands” - that is, when the content is fully consistent with the title. Since it is foolish to hope that marketers and nymery start giving true names, you need to take everything into your own hands. If you have your own "brands" that you want to move to the people - join.
1. Govnyashechki. The name was suggested by the reader of the blog, to designate any conditionally edible goods in small packaging. Like Kirieshek, BeerKi or Russian Potatoes.
2. Pidordini. Pidordini is a collective image for all brands used by metrosexuals. Since the dude's suit can be Brioni, and something else is Dolce and Gaban, and he will be strangled by Baldesarini, it’s easier to say “everything from Pidordini”.
3. Fuflomycin. Another name suggested by the reader. Fuflomycin is a medicinal generic with a long-known chemical formula that is promoted under its own brand and therefore costs several times more, although the chemical formula is identical.
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4. Uebonics. Ueboniks or Uebonika are trademarks of Russian-Chinese origin, which have invented the western ancestry. Somehow "German" Bork, "Austrian" Vitek or "British" Scarlett.
5. Group of Companies "House of Pioneers". Somehow I was invited to work on the radio. The radio station consisted of two rooms. In one secretary, two advertising agents and a "PR manager." In another, divided in two - the director and ether. I was informed that I would work in a media holding, because there were plans to launch an advertising publication and a retransmission of the federal channel (RBC, by the way) with the sale of local advertising. We also have a “media group” in the city, which publishes two advertising magazines about building materials and some other crap.
Previously, all the poorest rented rooms in the Houses of Pioneers (from where they turned around, in connection with the revival of the greatness of Russia). Therefore, offices with loud names that huddle in one or two rooms, where the secretary is sitting on the CEO's knees, and in the safe - educational documents for several firms, I call the DP Group of Companies or the Pioneer Group of Companies.
6. PimpleSoft. PimpleSoft is a special case of the DP group of companies. As a rule, this is a third-year student who reports that he will write biometric software, software for a space station and artificial intelligence. In the meantime, he begins with a clone of Tetris. If there are several such students, who it is not Pryshsoft, but Pimple Software Systems.
7. Sushi bar Alenushka or Buryat sushi. When the Japanese establishments just opened with us, it was written in the ad that Asian-looking waitresses are required. Kalmyks, Buryats, Yakuts, Koreans and so on. But net sushi is not the worst (I personally like Yakitori very much, although I am not a gourmet sushi). Now sushi places open everywhere - in business centers, in fitness clubs, on food courts. They are usually called “Tokyo”, “Fuji” or “Yokohama” or something like that. But the name “Sushi Bar Alenushka” seems more appropriate to me.
8. Kozlodoev Consulting. Kozlodoev Consulting is a collective brand for Russian miscarriages of foreign consulting firms. But you can look even wider - any Russian offices that repurchase technology licenses, developments and know-how in the west, and then resell them here in Russia, strongly emphasizing their foreignness and advancement. Sometimes the Russian partners even add their names to the Western ones, and it turns out something like “Johnson, Smith and the Fold” or “Schwerbach and Otryzhkin Company”.
The technologies themselves, in this case, retain their name + add "in boots". Kaizen in felt boots, ISO 9001 in felt boots, CRM in felt boots, standardization in felt boots, talent management in felt boots, and so on. The construction of phrases in this case is the following - “Kaizen specialists in felt boots from Takido-Varezhkin Lean Production Engineering Engineering Consulting Group came here to us and it went on ...”
9. Vaginia and Macho-Huyacho. Vaginia is trademarks that are incredibly popular with women for no apparent reason. Macho-Huyacho are trademarks of goods that men buy in order to prove that they are real peppers. Type belts in Mustang with cowboy logo.
If you have your own brands, you can offer them to me, you can copy mine and add yours to your blogs, but I sincerely hope that at least one of the “popular brands” I will be able to incorporate into everyday speech.
Read more davydyatiny .
1. Govnyashechki. The name was suggested by the reader of the blog, to designate any conditionally edible goods in small packaging. Like Kirieshek, BeerKi or Russian Potatoes.
2. Pidordini. Pidordini is a collective image for all brands used by metrosexuals. Since the dude's suit can be Brioni, and something else is Dolce and Gaban, and he will be strangled by Baldesarini, it’s easier to say “everything from Pidordini”.
3. Fuflomycin. Another name suggested by the reader. Fuflomycin is a medicinal generic with a long-known chemical formula that is promoted under its own brand and therefore costs several times more, although the chemical formula is identical.
')
4. Uebonics. Ueboniks or Uebonika are trademarks of Russian-Chinese origin, which have invented the western ancestry. Somehow "German" Bork, "Austrian" Vitek or "British" Scarlett.
5. Group of Companies "House of Pioneers". Somehow I was invited to work on the radio. The radio station consisted of two rooms. In one secretary, two advertising agents and a "PR manager." In another, divided in two - the director and ether. I was informed that I would work in a media holding, because there were plans to launch an advertising publication and a retransmission of the federal channel (RBC, by the way) with the sale of local advertising. We also have a “media group” in the city, which publishes two advertising magazines about building materials and some other crap.
Previously, all the poorest rented rooms in the Houses of Pioneers (from where they turned around, in connection with the revival of the greatness of Russia). Therefore, offices with loud names that huddle in one or two rooms, where the secretary is sitting on the CEO's knees, and in the safe - educational documents for several firms, I call the DP Group of Companies or the Pioneer Group of Companies.
6. PimpleSoft. PimpleSoft is a special case of the DP group of companies. As a rule, this is a third-year student who reports that he will write biometric software, software for a space station and artificial intelligence. In the meantime, he begins with a clone of Tetris. If there are several such students, who it is not Pryshsoft, but Pimple Software Systems.
7. Sushi bar Alenushka or Buryat sushi. When the Japanese establishments just opened with us, it was written in the ad that Asian-looking waitresses are required. Kalmyks, Buryats, Yakuts, Koreans and so on. But net sushi is not the worst (I personally like Yakitori very much, although I am not a gourmet sushi). Now sushi places open everywhere - in business centers, in fitness clubs, on food courts. They are usually called “Tokyo”, “Fuji” or “Yokohama” or something like that. But the name “Sushi Bar Alenushka” seems more appropriate to me.
8. Kozlodoev Consulting. Kozlodoev Consulting is a collective brand for Russian miscarriages of foreign consulting firms. But you can look even wider - any Russian offices that repurchase technology licenses, developments and know-how in the west, and then resell them here in Russia, strongly emphasizing their foreignness and advancement. Sometimes the Russian partners even add their names to the Western ones, and it turns out something like “Johnson, Smith and the Fold” or “Schwerbach and Otryzhkin Company”.
The technologies themselves, in this case, retain their name + add "in boots". Kaizen in felt boots, ISO 9001 in felt boots, CRM in felt boots, standardization in felt boots, talent management in felt boots, and so on. The construction of phrases in this case is the following - “Kaizen specialists in felt boots from Takido-Varezhkin Lean Production Engineering Engineering Consulting Group came here to us and it went on ...”
9. Vaginia and Macho-Huyacho. Vaginia is trademarks that are incredibly popular with women for no apparent reason. Macho-Huyacho are trademarks of goods that men buy in order to prove that they are real peppers. Type belts in Mustang with cowboy logo.
If you have your own brands, you can offer them to me, you can copy mine and add yours to your blogs, but I sincerely hope that at least one of the “popular brands” I will be able to incorporate into everyday speech.
Read more davydyatiny .
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/15453/
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