Stop worrying. Stress management methods
If there is a cure, then you have nothing to worry about. You just need to take it. If there is no cure, why bother? Anxiety only aggravates suffering. Dalai Lama
Emotional disorders in our time have become the absolute norm. It is difficult to find a person who would never be exposed to stress, unless, of course, he is not a Tibetan monk. Stress accompanies us everywhere: at work, in public transport, in shopping centers, traffic jams, lines, public institutions. Even in relationships with loved ones, children and parents, experiencing stress, it seems to us, is the norm. And this is true if, of course, the most common behavior should be considered the norm.
Illustration: ladyiris.ru
')
I want to immediately warn you that there are many letters in the text, but if you are interested in methods of dealing with anxiety, do not be lazy to read it to the end.
Stress is a natural reaction of the body to external irritation. Negative emotional outbursts, as the body’s response to external stimuli, did not appear in the 21st and not even in the 20th century - stress was normal in the ancient world and in the Middle Ages. To prove it, no need to go far. The first descriptions of post-traumatic stress can be found in Homer's Iliad - there he talks about the sufferings of warriors after the battle, about their feelings of guilt over the death of their comrades.
The founder of the modern concept of stress is the French scientist Claude Bernard . The natural development of the concept of Bernard was the work of Hans Selye (thanks ptitca_zu for the recommendation).
Selye identifies 3 stages of stress:
1. The anxiety reaction stage is the initial reaction, which is an expression of a general call for the activation of the body's defenses. Physiological and biochemical processes are disturbed, symptoms of damage appear, and a protective reaction occurs. If the impact is too high, the body dies even in the anxiety stage during the first hours.
2. Stage of resistance , or adaptation. At this stage, the organism either adapts to the new conditions of existence, or the damage intensifies.
3. Stage of exhaustion , or death. This stage develops in the event of a long destructive impact. In this phase, irreversible destructive changes are observed, energy-generating and synthetic reactions are suppressed, homeostasis is disturbed (the body's ability to self-regulate).
If you do not interrupt the stress before the onset of the third stage, the body is likely to die. By the way, both Selye and modern researchers agree that the body can not withstand even the first stage (Stress is a frequent cause of heart attacks and strokes). That is why it is so important to avoid stress or, at least, to minimize the degree of their influence on our lives.
I wrote about the scientific view of the degree of stress on the body in the past material . Now let's talk about how stress manifests itself in people and how to deal with it.
Psychologists most often share the symptoms of stress by emotional (irritability, anxiety, depression, anger), physical (clenching jaws, fatigue, dizziness), cognitive (short-sighted, pessimism, insomnia) and behavioral (smoking, overeating, self-isolation, suspicion, quick speech) . If you have at least one of the listed or many other symptoms, it is likely that your body is experiencing some degree of stress, even if you are not aware of it.
The recognized author of effective methods of dealing with stress is Dale Carnegie, so let's start with the methods described in his books. Before you start reading the following 4 paragraphs, please leave all other business, close the extra browser tabs and focus. It is very important that you present yourself in a specific situation and truly feel discontent.
Imagine that January is outside the window and you are in a hurry to work in an office located at the other end of a small city. The air temperature does not exceed -20 degrees Celsius, the sidewalks are covered with snow and ice, and public utilities employees are in no hurry to go to clean them. You get out of your porch and quickly walk to the bus stop. Having stood for 15 minutes, you see a bus moving slowly from the left side, it pulls up to a stop, the doors open and you hurry to them, because by this time at least 15 people gathered in fur coats, sheepskin coats, with briefcases in their hands the same as you, rush to work.
Inside the bus is so crowded that it barely manages to breathe deeply, not to mention the opportunity to sit down. And then, having passed 4 stops (you’re going to the 5th), you pay attention to the clock hanging on the windshield of the watch: the hands at this moment make you flinch, because only 5 minutes are left before the corporate meeting, which is obliged attend all company employees. This fact is aggravated by the character of your boss, who has never been distinguished by mercy and the desire to understand the employees, but only reprimanded them: very rudely and with all the staff.
You begin to feel annoyed, fussing your way to the exit, while the bus pulls up to your stop. He stops, and you stand in line at the exit, in which, besides you - in front, there are 4 more people. The passage is narrow, so you can not get around them - you have to wait. At this moment, without finally losing hope of having time to work, you notice that each of the passengers leaving the transport is preparing to give the driver a 1000-ruble bill. Nervous tension is increasing - you are ready to throw out your anger at the people around you, but still hold on.
And then, finally, the turn comes to you. Rushing to the driver, you stretch the crumpled 500 rubles to him and keep your hand extended to immediately get change, but the person sitting behind the wheel is not in a hurry and starts digging into the one laying on the shelf than once again delays the time. At this point, you look at your watch again, you realize that you are already late, and scroll through the results that await you. Tension reaches its highest point: your breathing is accelerated, your heart is pounding in your chest at a breakneck pace, your veins on your forehead tighten, your fists and jaw involuntarily clench.
Illustration: voxpopuli.kz
While the driver continues to look for change for you, answer 3 simple questions:
1. The worst thing that can happen as a result of this situation?
Mentally imagine the worst scenario. In this case, you can imagine that the boss takes you to the middle of a room full of your colleagues, rudely chastises you for being late, and then pushes you out, recommending that you never again appear on the doorstep of this office!
Submitted? Go to the next step.
2. Get over it!
I know that it is easier said than done, but you should not concentrate on short-term consequences and instant insult. Imagine that quitting an old job, you created your own company, developing by leaps and bounds. And now, after a couple of years, your work in the old company seems to you only a slight misunderstanding, and the behavior of the boss at the time of your lateness is the reason for who you are now. Tell me, will you be angry with this person if your next life will turn out like this? Hardly.
3. Now that the prospect of being late for work and being accountable to the whole collective does not seem so terrible to you, focus on and think about how you can minimize the negative consequences of the situation.
For example, think up a plausible and respectful reason for being late or show even greater creativity: go to the nearest store, buy a box of chocolates, a bottle of brandy and go to the office. In the midst of the meeting, knock on the door, enter the office, apologize for the delay and before the boss starts to accuse you, solemnly address him by his first name, thank him for everything he does for the team and the company, then hand him the brandy and candy, once again expressing gratitude on behalf of colleagues.
I bet that if your boss has even a drop of self-respect, he will never start screaming and scolding you. Moreover, once in such a state of shock, he will forget about your misconduct, and from that day his attitude towards you may change for the better or at least not become worse.
A great way to get rid of stress, is not it? However, it does not work in all situations, because anxiety is often chronic. Moreover, many people on a conscious level do not even suspect what they are worried about.
If you have at least several years of work experience, you most likely have heard such statements from colleagues and subordinates: “I’m not getting anything,” “I don’t know what to do,” “Why this all happens to me ? Why did I deserve such torment? ”
Why do people worry and ask such questions? The whole thing is in uncertainty - pay attention to the wording: “Nothing works”, “it all happens”, “such torments”, etc. Anyone agrees that there is not enough concrete.
So, to overcome the stresses arising in connection with the performance of their normal work duties (this, incidentally, also applies to students), you must perform 4 simple steps:
1. Collect the facts. Determine what the problem is.
You need to determine exactly what is causing your concern. Suppose you are in charge of the sales department and are worried about the report that you need to submit at the monthly planning meeting in the director’s office a week later. It is important to accurately describe the reason - even if, for example, it will be impossible to start working on a report due to a lack of information received from managers.
2. Make a decision. Determine exactly what you need to do to eliminate the anxiety, how you are going to do it, and when to proceed with specific actions. A simple plan of 4-5 steps with a probability of 90% will save you from such an obvious negative perception of the situation. In a situation with a lack of information, you can gather managers, tell them about an existing problem, distribute tasks and set deadlines.
3. Get to action! Stop lingering, don't you want your brain's neurons to suffer from the effects of stress? Perform all the planned steps, alternately deleting them from the to-do list.
4. Be aware of what happened. Mentally scroll through the whole situation in your head: from the onset of the problem and stress to the final solution of all the difficulties. Many resources had to be applied to solve the problem? Hardly. Was it the hardest thing in your life? Not? Was it worth worrying about trivia? It is necessary to develop the habit of analyzing every serious experience, its causes and consequences. This will help to permanently get rid of stress in a relatively short time.
Have you ever noticed that you are worried about what usually does not happen? Especially this question concerns people who have children, as well as those who are accustomed to accept any global and social problem.
1. An asteroid will fall to Earth - we will all die
2. December 21, 2012 the end of the world will come - we will all die
3. A nuclear war will start - we will all die
4. Asphalt fall under our feet and we will die
5. The plane on which we will fly will fall (Yes, of course, we will die again)
Image: leonidson.livejournal.com
The list is endless, but how many of the things I listed above have ever happened to you? Of course, the danger of a plane crashing, as well as the danger of a huge comet falling to Earth, exists, but does this happen so often? Not! This happens extremely rarely. For example, the chance to break on the plane - 1 to 10 989 000 flights. Is it likely that out of almost 11 million flights you will be on the last in your life? Not!
The risk of crashing on an airplane is a little less than the risk of being killed by an icicle falling from the roof in the summer in the center of Rio de Janeiro, and this, as you understand, is absolutely impossible unless someone spills a tank with liquid nitrogen on the roof. By the way, the plane is considered the safest transport, while the cars, driving and in the salons of which many people spend a significant part of their lives, are the most dangerous!
If you are worried about an asteroid and another global catastrophe, think about it - is it really in your power to correct this situation? If you have not yet invented a time machine or a spacecraft flying at the speed of light, nothing will help you if a giant asteroid falls! Be aware of this and accept it! If space agencies do not find a way to prevent a stone or ice block falling onto the surface of our planet, you will die, like 7 billion other people on Earth. But is it really worth worrying about? Is it not better to relax and spend the rest of your life in peace and quiet, having fun and enjoying?
Two simple conclusions:
1. Ask yourself: “What is the probability that this event will happen at all?” If the probability is low, stop worrying right now!
2. Consider the inevitable. If you know that it is not in your power to change or correct any circumstance, tell yourself: "This is so, this cannot be otherwise." Deal with it and turn your attention to other issues that you are able to influence.
There is another extreme. Many people pay too much attention to little things, whether it's a line at the store, a speck of dust on the table, a speck that caught the eye, or lack of gratitude from an unfamiliar person. I think it makes no sense to explain why you should not pay attention to trifles (they are trivial), I will cite just one more quote taken from Carnegie’s book.
“Often we let ourselves get upset about trifles that should be despised and forgotten. We have to live on this earth for only a few decades, and we lose so many irretrievable hours, thinking about offenses that we will forget about in a year. ” André Maurois
You can continue to continue to list techniques for dealing with anxiety, described in the books and writings of Dale Carnegie, but switch to another author - Stephen Covey, whose works I consider more useful in dealing with stress, because they eliminate the very cause of anxiety, rather than its consequences. The fact is that most of the methods and techniques described above are only so-called aspirin, a temporary cure for anxiety that can come back again and again.
In fact, many modern researchers believe that the problem of anxiety lies much deeper - it is hidden in the fundamental values ​​of a person, which determine his attitude to life.
To describe the methods of dealing with anxiety, Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Skills of Highly Effective People” uses 2 circles as an example: a circle of influence and a circle of concerns. The circle of influence includes everything that depends on you, something that you can control. In the circle of concerns, everything that concerns and worries you in any way, however, is outside your circle of influence.
I will give a simple example. The content of the publication, which I am writing now, completely depends on me - it is in my circle of influence. However, the reaction that will follow from the readers is no longer part of the inner circle - it is in a circle of concerns, because I cannot make someone respond positively to my post, but their opinion is interesting to me.
Should I worry about the fact that my post can deserve only negative evaluations? No, because this is outside my circle of influence, which means it is pointless to experience stress because of this. Moreover, any of my attempts to influence public opinion unfairly (for example, cheating rating and comments, asking for “plus”, etc.) will have an even more negative impact on the attitude of community members towards me.
The only way to influence the circle of concerns is to expand the circle of influence. In the context of the above example, I should make maximum efforts in the circle of influence (in this case, in the work on the material) in order to systematically expand it. And in no case should I worry about the circle of concerns — it is beyond my control.
To rid yourself of anxiety, apply maximum effort and enthusiasm to resolve issues in your circle of influence. Do not worry about the problems that are in the circle of concerns, because the only way to solve them, paradoxically, is to work in the circle of influence.
Of course, not everything that needs to be known about stress and how to get rid of it is listed here, but these methods and techniques are excellent for solving everyday problems associated with anxiety - I was convinced of this from my own experience.
If any method does not work, experiment, use another! You can’t stop worrying - think about the damage this addiction does to your health. Remember that there is no universal key for all locks - you have to choose the one that is right for yours.
The habit of worrying is no different from many others. In order to get rid of it, it takes time, concentration and a sincere desire to qualitatively change their lives. Believe in yourself, make a plan to deal with anxiety and take time to read specialized books (listed below).
Recommended reading:
1. Dale Carnegie "How to stop worrying and start living."
2. Stephen Covey "7 skills of highly effective people"
3. Alan Stewart "How to beat chronic fatigue"
Finishing the material, I will cite one more quote from the book “How to stop worrying and start living”.
In addition, do not forget that jogging, cycling, swimming and other aerobic activities, as well as good music and a favorite film, help in combating anxiety.
Thank you for taking the time to read this large and sometimes not the most interesting text. I will be glad to hear your wishes and comments.
Emotional disorders in our time have become the absolute norm. It is difficult to find a person who would never be exposed to stress, unless, of course, he is not a Tibetan monk. Stress accompanies us everywhere: at work, in public transport, in shopping centers, traffic jams, lines, public institutions. Even in relationships with loved ones, children and parents, experiencing stress, it seems to us, is the norm. And this is true if, of course, the most common behavior should be considered the norm.
Illustration: ladyiris.ru
')
I want to immediately warn you that there are many letters in the text, but if you are interested in methods of dealing with anxiety, do not be lazy to read it to the end.
What is stress
Stress is a natural reaction of the body to external irritation. Negative emotional outbursts, as the body’s response to external stimuli, did not appear in the 21st and not even in the 20th century - stress was normal in the ancient world and in the Middle Ages. To prove it, no need to go far. The first descriptions of post-traumatic stress can be found in Homer's Iliad - there he talks about the sufferings of warriors after the battle, about their feelings of guilt over the death of their comrades.
The founder of the modern concept of stress is the French scientist Claude Bernard . The natural development of the concept of Bernard was the work of Hans Selye (thanks ptitca_zu for the recommendation).
Selye identifies 3 stages of stress:
1. The anxiety reaction stage is the initial reaction, which is an expression of a general call for the activation of the body's defenses. Physiological and biochemical processes are disturbed, symptoms of damage appear, and a protective reaction occurs. If the impact is too high, the body dies even in the anxiety stage during the first hours.
2. Stage of resistance , or adaptation. At this stage, the organism either adapts to the new conditions of existence, or the damage intensifies.
3. Stage of exhaustion , or death. This stage develops in the event of a long destructive impact. In this phase, irreversible destructive changes are observed, energy-generating and synthetic reactions are suppressed, homeostasis is disturbed (the body's ability to self-regulate).
If you do not interrupt the stress before the onset of the third stage, the body is likely to die. By the way, both Selye and modern researchers agree that the body can not withstand even the first stage (Stress is a frequent cause of heart attacks and strokes). That is why it is so important to avoid stress or, at least, to minimize the degree of their influence on our lives.
I wrote about the scientific view of the degree of stress on the body in the past material . Now let's talk about how stress manifests itself in people and how to deal with it.
Psychologists most often share the symptoms of stress by emotional (irritability, anxiety, depression, anger), physical (clenching jaws, fatigue, dizziness), cognitive (short-sighted, pessimism, insomnia) and behavioral (smoking, overeating, self-isolation, suspicion, quick speech) . If you have at least one of the listed or many other symptoms, it is likely that your body is experiencing some degree of stress, even if you are not aware of it.
How to deal with stress
The recognized author of effective methods of dealing with stress is Dale Carnegie, so let's start with the methods described in his books. Before you start reading the following 4 paragraphs, please leave all other business, close the extra browser tabs and focus. It is very important that you present yourself in a specific situation and truly feel discontent.
Imagine that January is outside the window and you are in a hurry to work in an office located at the other end of a small city. The air temperature does not exceed -20 degrees Celsius, the sidewalks are covered with snow and ice, and public utilities employees are in no hurry to go to clean them. You get out of your porch and quickly walk to the bus stop. Having stood for 15 minutes, you see a bus moving slowly from the left side, it pulls up to a stop, the doors open and you hurry to them, because by this time at least 15 people gathered in fur coats, sheepskin coats, with briefcases in their hands the same as you, rush to work.
Inside the bus is so crowded that it barely manages to breathe deeply, not to mention the opportunity to sit down. And then, having passed 4 stops (you’re going to the 5th), you pay attention to the clock hanging on the windshield of the watch: the hands at this moment make you flinch, because only 5 minutes are left before the corporate meeting, which is obliged attend all company employees. This fact is aggravated by the character of your boss, who has never been distinguished by mercy and the desire to understand the employees, but only reprimanded them: very rudely and with all the staff.
You begin to feel annoyed, fussing your way to the exit, while the bus pulls up to your stop. He stops, and you stand in line at the exit, in which, besides you - in front, there are 4 more people. The passage is narrow, so you can not get around them - you have to wait. At this moment, without finally losing hope of having time to work, you notice that each of the passengers leaving the transport is preparing to give the driver a 1000-ruble bill. Nervous tension is increasing - you are ready to throw out your anger at the people around you, but still hold on.
And then, finally, the turn comes to you. Rushing to the driver, you stretch the crumpled 500 rubles to him and keep your hand extended to immediately get change, but the person sitting behind the wheel is not in a hurry and starts digging into the one laying on the shelf than once again delays the time. At this point, you look at your watch again, you realize that you are already late, and scroll through the results that await you. Tension reaches its highest point: your breathing is accelerated, your heart is pounding in your chest at a breakneck pace, your veins on your forehead tighten, your fists and jaw involuntarily clench.
Illustration: voxpopuli.kz
Stop!
While the driver continues to look for change for you, answer 3 simple questions:
1. The worst thing that can happen as a result of this situation?
Mentally imagine the worst scenario. In this case, you can imagine that the boss takes you to the middle of a room full of your colleagues, rudely chastises you for being late, and then pushes you out, recommending that you never again appear on the doorstep of this office!
Submitted? Go to the next step.
2. Get over it!
I know that it is easier said than done, but you should not concentrate on short-term consequences and instant insult. Imagine that quitting an old job, you created your own company, developing by leaps and bounds. And now, after a couple of years, your work in the old company seems to you only a slight misunderstanding, and the behavior of the boss at the time of your lateness is the reason for who you are now. Tell me, will you be angry with this person if your next life will turn out like this? Hardly.
3. Now that the prospect of being late for work and being accountable to the whole collective does not seem so terrible to you, focus on and think about how you can minimize the negative consequences of the situation.
For example, think up a plausible and respectful reason for being late or show even greater creativity: go to the nearest store, buy a box of chocolates, a bottle of brandy and go to the office. In the midst of the meeting, knock on the door, enter the office, apologize for the delay and before the boss starts to accuse you, solemnly address him by his first name, thank him for everything he does for the team and the company, then hand him the brandy and candy, once again expressing gratitude on behalf of colleagues.
I bet that if your boss has even a drop of self-respect, he will never start screaming and scolding you. Moreover, once in such a state of shock, he will forget about your misconduct, and from that day his attitude towards you may change for the better or at least not become worse.
A great way to get rid of stress, is not it? However, it does not work in all situations, because anxiety is often chronic. Moreover, many people on a conscious level do not even suspect what they are worried about.
If you have at least several years of work experience, you most likely have heard such statements from colleagues and subordinates: “I’m not getting anything,” “I don’t know what to do,” “Why this all happens to me ? Why did I deserve such torment? ”
Why do people worry and ask such questions? The whole thing is in uncertainty - pay attention to the wording: “Nothing works”, “it all happens”, “such torments”, etc. Anyone agrees that there is not enough concrete.
So, to overcome the stresses arising in connection with the performance of their normal work duties (this, incidentally, also applies to students), you must perform 4 simple steps:
1. Collect the facts. Determine what the problem is.
You need to determine exactly what is causing your concern. Suppose you are in charge of the sales department and are worried about the report that you need to submit at the monthly planning meeting in the director’s office a week later. It is important to accurately describe the reason - even if, for example, it will be impossible to start working on a report due to a lack of information received from managers.
2. Make a decision. Determine exactly what you need to do to eliminate the anxiety, how you are going to do it, and when to proceed with specific actions. A simple plan of 4-5 steps with a probability of 90% will save you from such an obvious negative perception of the situation. In a situation with a lack of information, you can gather managers, tell them about an existing problem, distribute tasks and set deadlines.
3. Get to action! Stop lingering, don't you want your brain's neurons to suffer from the effects of stress? Perform all the planned steps, alternately deleting them from the to-do list.
4. Be aware of what happened. Mentally scroll through the whole situation in your head: from the onset of the problem and stress to the final solution of all the difficulties. Many resources had to be applied to solve the problem? Hardly. Was it the hardest thing in your life? Not? Was it worth worrying about trivia? It is necessary to develop the habit of analyzing every serious experience, its causes and consequences. This will help to permanently get rid of stress in a relatively short time.
More often than not, we worry about what will never happen.
Have you ever noticed that you are worried about what usually does not happen? Especially this question concerns people who have children, as well as those who are accustomed to accept any global and social problem.
Examples of such concerns mass:
1. An asteroid will fall to Earth - we will all die
2. December 21, 2012 the end of the world will come - we will all die
3. A nuclear war will start - we will all die
4. Asphalt fall under our feet and we will die
5. The plane on which we will fly will fall (Yes, of course, we will die again)
Image: leonidson.livejournal.com
The list is endless, but how many of the things I listed above have ever happened to you? Of course, the danger of a plane crashing, as well as the danger of a huge comet falling to Earth, exists, but does this happen so often? Not! This happens extremely rarely. For example, the chance to break on the plane - 1 to 10 989 000 flights. Is it likely that out of almost 11 million flights you will be on the last in your life? Not!
The risk of crashing on an airplane is a little less than the risk of being killed by an icicle falling from the roof in the summer in the center of Rio de Janeiro, and this, as you understand, is absolutely impossible unless someone spills a tank with liquid nitrogen on the roof. By the way, the plane is considered the safest transport, while the cars, driving and in the salons of which many people spend a significant part of their lives, are the most dangerous!
If you are worried about an asteroid and another global catastrophe, think about it - is it really in your power to correct this situation? If you have not yet invented a time machine or a spacecraft flying at the speed of light, nothing will help you if a giant asteroid falls! Be aware of this and accept it! If space agencies do not find a way to prevent a stone or ice block falling onto the surface of our planet, you will die, like 7 billion other people on Earth. But is it really worth worrying about? Is it not better to relax and spend the rest of your life in peace and quiet, having fun and enjoying?
Two simple conclusions:
1. Ask yourself: “What is the probability that this event will happen at all?” If the probability is low, stop worrying right now!
2. Consider the inevitable. If you know that it is not in your power to change or correct any circumstance, tell yourself: "This is so, this cannot be otherwise." Deal with it and turn your attention to other issues that you are able to influence.
Minor irritants unworthy of our attention
There is another extreme. Many people pay too much attention to little things, whether it's a line at the store, a speck of dust on the table, a speck that caught the eye, or lack of gratitude from an unfamiliar person. I think it makes no sense to explain why you should not pay attention to trifles (they are trivial), I will cite just one more quote taken from Carnegie’s book.
“Often we let ourselves get upset about trifles that should be despised and forgotten. We have to live on this earth for only a few decades, and we lose so many irretrievable hours, thinking about offenses that we will forget about in a year. ” André Maurois
Act within your circle of influence.
You can continue to continue to list techniques for dealing with anxiety, described in the books and writings of Dale Carnegie, but switch to another author - Stephen Covey, whose works I consider more useful in dealing with stress, because they eliminate the very cause of anxiety, rather than its consequences. The fact is that most of the methods and techniques described above are only so-called aspirin, a temporary cure for anxiety that can come back again and again.
In fact, many modern researchers believe that the problem of anxiety lies much deeper - it is hidden in the fundamental values ​​of a person, which determine his attitude to life.
To describe the methods of dealing with anxiety, Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Skills of Highly Effective People” uses 2 circles as an example: a circle of influence and a circle of concerns. The circle of influence includes everything that depends on you, something that you can control. In the circle of concerns, everything that concerns and worries you in any way, however, is outside your circle of influence.
I will give a simple example. The content of the publication, which I am writing now, completely depends on me - it is in my circle of influence. However, the reaction that will follow from the readers is no longer part of the inner circle - it is in a circle of concerns, because I cannot make someone respond positively to my post, but their opinion is interesting to me.
Should I worry about the fact that my post can deserve only negative evaluations? No, because this is outside my circle of influence, which means it is pointless to experience stress because of this. Moreover, any of my attempts to influence public opinion unfairly (for example, cheating rating and comments, asking for “plus”, etc.) will have an even more negative impact on the attitude of community members towards me.
The only way to influence the circle of concerns is to expand the circle of influence. In the context of the above example, I should make maximum efforts in the circle of influence (in this case, in the work on the material) in order to systematically expand it. And in no case should I worry about the circle of concerns — it is beyond my control.
To rid yourself of anxiety, apply maximum effort and enthusiasm to resolve issues in your circle of influence. Do not worry about the problems that are in the circle of concerns, because the only way to solve them, paradoxically, is to work in the circle of influence.
Conclusion
Of course, not everything that needs to be known about stress and how to get rid of it is listed here, but these methods and techniques are excellent for solving everyday problems associated with anxiety - I was convinced of this from my own experience.
If any method does not work, experiment, use another! You can’t stop worrying - think about the damage this addiction does to your health. Remember that there is no universal key for all locks - you have to choose the one that is right for yours.
The habit of worrying is no different from many others. In order to get rid of it, it takes time, concentration and a sincere desire to qualitatively change their lives. Believe in yourself, make a plan to deal with anxiety and take time to read specialized books (listed below).
Recommended reading:
1. Dale Carnegie "How to stop worrying and start living."
2. Stephen Covey "7 skills of highly effective people"
3. Alan Stewart "How to beat chronic fatigue"
Finishing the material, I will cite one more quote from the book “How to stop worrying and start living”.
In the fight against stress, keep track of your successes, not your troubles!
In addition, do not forget that jogging, cycling, swimming and other aerobic activities, as well as good music and a favorite film, help in combating anxiety.
Thank you for taking the time to read this large and sometimes not the most interesting text. I will be glad to hear your wishes and comments.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/149935/
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