Humanities programmer

For some reason, I was considered a good mathematician in primary school. Sent to Olympiads in mathematics and physics, scolded for poor results and sent again. It is worth noting that from the Olympiad I did bring the first two places, but these were district in the German language. In high school, the situation did not change for the better, but I still understood the geometry. But at the university I already felt like a little boy surrounded by a crowd of smart uncles and aunts. I did not manage to survive the first session.

I often read here stories about how people became work programmers. As at 13, they hacked school servers and invented ingenious viruses. I envy these people and their mindset. My familiarity with programming happened in basic school when I was drawing circles and squares in QBasic. I adored the GOTO team and absolutely did not understand Pascal. Since then a lot of time has passed, I have learned many new terms and make a living from web development. But sometimes it seems to me that these are all the same circles with squares, they just whistle and amuse themselves funny. And I never learned Pascal.

Sites I started to do immediately after an unsuccessful attempt to get a higher education. I sat in a computer club, played around in CS and suddenly it dawned on me - I had to learn HTML. Fortunately, a friend suggested where you can read about it. The first site was in pure HTML and it gave me a lot of trouble to add a new menu to all files, so the first acquaintance with PHP started not with echo 'hello world', but with if - include. It was a real inspiration for me, I quickly bought one of the many versions of the books "PHP and MySQL for Dummies" and plunged into reading. I like it.

My first serious project was the site of this computer club, which I did absolutely free of charge “for free and hosting”. He was like the song "Island of bad luck", just the opposite. That is good on the face, but terrible inside. However, later it was thanks to him that I got my first normal job.
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I perfectly understand that I started with the wrong thing. Many will say that in the beginning it was necessary to understand the basics. Data structures, algorithms. Of course, this is the right approach. But I suspect that in my case such a training scheme would turn out to be a failure. Why? Because I would not understand anything corny. Because I'm tight.

I opened my first book on OOP and design patterns about 4 years ago. Opened and closed after 5 minutes. Nipanyatna. The next time I moved a couple of pages further, but understanding did not increase. Since then, I have been opening different books on patterns (and on other topics) once every 2 weeks, but only a part is understood. And only the part that I somehow encountered in practice or peeped in someone else's code.

I admire people who easily juggle with OOP terms and can write architecture on paper to solve a complex task. Who can look at the intricacies of the code and in a short time to understand how and why it works. If I take a pencil in my hands and place a blank sheet of paper in front of me, then instead of architecture I can draw only funny squiggles.

And at the same time, despite the absence of some very important gene for a programmer in my dna, I really like it all. I like to look at my code, which, although simple and ill-conceived, is MVC. I like to type and give advice to my less experienced friend. I like to write long selects, although it may take a couple of hours. Like to sculpt all sorts of chips on JS.

Every time I start something new, I'm filled with enthusiasm. I try to read a lot and keep up with the times. Most likely, I will never become a steep, highly paid specialist, but I will not die of hunger either.