OOP. Unhurried conversation near the cooler

Yuri Moiseevich (YuM) is a short, clean-shaven young man of about forty-five, still promising. It has a proud bend of the back and an oily look. He speaks quietly, almost whispers.
Mikhail Valerievich (MB) - wide shoulders and puzat, with a curly curly beard. He speaks in loud, thick bass. Being a recognized professional, involuntarily causes respect in himself.

Office kitchen: a small room with no windows, a plastic table in the center, a water cooler in the corner, and stools along the walls. Near the cooler lurked Yuri Moiseevich. Mikhail Valerievich comes into the kitchen to drink water. In his right hand he carries a cup.
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YuM (blocking the way to the cooler, ingratiatingly): - Let me ask you!
MV (politely bowing): - I beg you, Yuri Moiseyevich, I am completely at your service.
YM: - Will you tell me, my dear friend, about the intricacies of your so hard work?
MB: - With great pleasure. But my work is so multifaceted, and, as you rightly noted right now, it is so hard that I really don’t know where to start.
YUM: - And start, perhaps, with the most, so to speak, the basics. Tell me, what technology do you use?
MV (trying to circumvent Yuri Moiseevich on the left): - Well, if you're interested, I will gladly tell you. I, so to speak, advocate an approach in which each technology is used only when it is needed. No such, you know, excesses. I started to use the waterfall model at the beginning of my career, and I use it to this day.
YUM (blocking the cooler with itself): - Very curious. And what, let me find out, is the waterfall model?
MW: - Ah, it is absolutely easy. Waterfall model is when there is a lot of water. There is so much water that the need to do something almost completely disappears behind it.
YM: - Oh, how simple and elegant! But I happened to hear about flexible technologies not so long ago. Do you use them?
MV (trying to circumvent Yuri Moiseevich on the right): - Of course, the flexibility of technology is the key to successful completion of the project. My technologies are so flexible that they can bend as you please, and they never break.
YM (blocking the cooler with itself): - Oh, how interesting!
MB: - But what is it, after all! Will you miss me to the cooler, or not?
YuM (moving aside): - Ah, of course, if you please.

Mikhail Valerievich fills a glass with water from the cooler, drinks greedily. For some time, both are silent.

YM: - But let me ask, my dear!
MW: - Of course, dear friend, I am all in attention.
YM: - I have a few more questions, but let's first sit down at the table to continue our conversation.
MW: - Willingly!

Yuri Moiseevich and Mikhail Valerievich pushing the stools to the plastic table, and at the same time sit down. For some time, both are silent, carefully looking at each other.

YM: - But tell me, dear friend. Tests, tests you use?
MB: - Of course! Remember, if you want to succeed in our profession, if you want to make a career, just as I did, you must use tests. Tests are the most important thing in our difficult profession.
YM: - You are a brilliant professional! And what is your coverage of these same tests?
MB: - Ah, full of you! Coverage is not just complete, but sheer! I look in every corner, in every piece of work done, to make sure that everything is neat and tidy, that there are no spider bugs anywhere.
YM: - And what, really, do you really catch all the bugs with your close testing?
MB: - Absolutely everyone, I'm a professional!

Yuri Moiseevich admiringly looks at Mikhail Valerievich. Mikhail Valerievich, slightly embarrassed, strokes his beard.

YuM: - Allow me to be curious, my dear colleague!
MW: - Sure, I'm all yours.
YM: - Are there any standard techniques, some methods that help you solve problems every day with a consistently excellent result?
MW: - Of course, my dear! There are a variety of techniques and tricks, or, as they are called, patterns. I was taught to them by four familiar thugs. Highly educated and pleasant in communicating gentlemen, I tell you.
YuM: - By God, you intrigued me. Rather, name at least one, I pray you!
MW: - Of course. Here, for example, reception "Visitor". It is, figuratively speaking, when someone comes to you all the time, and something that you do, and then leaves. And you have to deal with what he has done to you.
YUM: - What a mess!
MB: - Yes, my friend, yes, sometimes it is difficult with visitors. And here is another trick, called “Loner”.
YM: - Tell me about him, without delaying a second!
MW: - “Loner” is when you are left alone with the project. So say, honest duel.
YUM: - I am increasingly convinced that you are a true hero, Mikhail Valerievich! But tell me, how do you feel about the PLO? Do you think, sir, that the PLO is slightly, how shall I put it, redundant, and even, if you allow it, slow?
MW: - Well, that you, dear Yuri Moiseevich! Like any approach, OOP requires some dexterity. I would even say you need to have OOP thinking.
YM: - Why, good gracious sir, do you really reject the very common opinion that any force must be able to seize the whole power of the OOP approach?
MB: - Sure! Rather, and you will not say, I just reject this very seditious thought and consider the spread of the OOP approach among the younger generation to be not even useless, but premature. The lad should first comprehend the essence of the approach functionally, and only then turn his mind to the wisdom of the PLO. Under the functional approach, of course, I mean the traditional approach, well-proven in our work. You understand what I mean, Yuri Moiseevich?
YUM: - Yes, I understand you perfectly, Mikhail Valerievich.

Yuri Moiseevich with understand nods his head.

Suddenly, Petrovich enters, a boorish young man with the habits of a project manager. Dressed in a tracksuit with needles and sneakers with the Facebook logo.

Petrovich: - Hey, idlers, then again stumble? Let's get to work, the stairs are still dirty! I, too, the project - wash the stairs.

Yuri Moiseevich and Mikhail Valerievich dutifully take mops and go to wash the stairs.

Petrovich (addressing the viewer): - Understand me correctly, gentlemen. I do not like all these idle disputes. What is the difference, in the end, whether to use abundant washing of floors, or, in the old manner, to wipe them with a cloth? This is a personal matter. The main thing that the office was clean.

A curtain.

This work, along with many others, can be found in the book IT AS IS