Life with a programmer

Hi,% username%. I suggest to distract from the solution of problems and relax a bit after the first working day of this week. The fact is that I have a wonderful girl (yeah, bragging), writing good stories. But she writes them mostly for herself, “on the table,” since He has no blog, no LiveJournal and is not published anywhere at all. And today I threw off a story I liked so much that I even begged permission to publish it here. The topic is not new, but it is written in my opinion very well, I think the community will like it. So, impressions from the year of life with a programmer.

Life with a programmer

All sat and thought about how to start your story. I wanted it to be rather pathetic, with a beautiful introduction (about the first computers, about the people who developed them, about the eternal themes described in the world of literature and cinema). But each version was stuck on the second or third line. Therefore, without further ado, I live with a programmer.
The topic is really fertile. Already many stories have been written about IT-shnik, and about programmers in particular, every third quote on bashorg is dedicated to their work. And there is another great novel by Alex Exler, The Programmer's Bride's Notes, which I laughed to tears. The thoughts of the protagonist were so similar to mine, and the dialogues between her and her future husband, that it seemed that they had partially written off my life.

So what's so special about living with a programmer? It seems to be nothing. But gradually you begin to notice that instead of the bedside table you have (note, not him, but you have) a half-empty system unit. The most interesting thing is that you even manage to call it right, and not a processor. This, of course, took a month of constant corrections in conversations, but who will remember this? Everywhere there are wires, various pieces of iron. By the way, bedside tables still exist in the house, but only they have the wheels broken by the severity of all this incomprehensible junk, which mysteriously appears in the apartment. Of all the cables, I want to weave a pigtail, roll up into a ball - in general, do anything you want to clear the space. I will soon come as Rapunzel. Let home to the ninth floor rises on them.

Forget about the normal nicknames for your joint animals. Now they will all become Tsisks, Apaches, Tuksiki, Javas and God knows what computer and software gods. No, Marus and Kesh will no longer be, a big brazen Assembler will move around the room, submitting only to the owner of such a violent fantasy. It seems that this does not apply to children, although there is still Star Wars, and there Luke and Leia are there, and (I'm afraid to even write, it will come true) Yoda. So I imagine how he would constantly say to his son: “Luke, I am your father.” What if it would be a serious conversation? He after all will not be kept and will surely zarzat, having completely destroyed the educational moment!

In general, of course, everything is like at all.
Like any man, he demands logic from me. But if a hint of logic is enough for another, from which he himself can somehow pull something sensible, then the programmer will not be satisfied with it. He needs to consistently explain how you came to this conclusion. Preferably with schemes, calculations or a simple code. Believe me, it’s quite possible, though not necessary, that if you live together, you will somehow reach the stage where he will open a Hyper Text Markup Language tutorial in your browser and suggest that you try to understand what is written there. He will assert that this is for your self-education, but these words will contain only forty percent of the truth. In fact, this insidious creation wants to get rid of you for an hour to do more complex things, and you constantly distract him with conversations.
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By the way, yes. Programmers are people who really love to work. Well, for the most part. They catch some buzz when they code. Even if something does not come out for them for a long time, the very beauty is that there comes a moment when they intelligently or miraculously find a solution to the problem. And they can share their joy when you are already sleeping peacefully at three o'clock in the morning.

How many articles and stories I was sent to read, in which the direct text was written "PROGRAMMER DO NOT CHANGE!". After all, entry into the process is a lengthy exercise, followed first by viewing a variety of portals, both humorous and news. I already understood that computer scientists have become like their vital device. It seems to us, ordinary cavemen, that the laptop does several things at once. But no, there is its own scheme, in which while one action is performed, the other is temporarily suspended. So is the brain of your home programmer. And if you, yes, Linux will save you from this, you suddenly want to tell him something, when he writes, then keep quiet, please go, reap something. I was lucky, my version is pretty patient. But after several such distractions, when it was necessary to unload the “work” process from the brain and load the “one more question answer” process, the above stories fell into my mail. They even argued with him, saying that I could not spend ten minutes in silence. As a decent girl, I was offended by him for about twenty minutes. By the way, I have already read the basic tutorial on HTML and moved on to learning CSS.

Besides the fact that programming is work, it can also be a rest. There is a site like Habrahabr, and there are people who arrange meetings for real-life communication. So, now I treat people who occasionally appear at such meetings. And here I sit among the habra people and as if I found myself on another planet, where they speak in strange words and numbers (honest word, I just imagine their conversations in the form of numbers). It becomes scary when you begin to understand individual phrases.

Remember, I wrote about my bedside table? So this system unit was the beginning of a strong friendship between a programmer, a sysadmin, an engineer and a humanitarian (guess who I am from this chain?). It happened like this. My programmer wanted a system unit for himself and asked somewhere to someone, to which he was answered: "Yes, come, come." And after several weeks of gathering on a Saturday autumn evening, we are going through the whole of Moscow to take this iron. I am not the worst driver, well, I really hope so, but I almost never traveled for long distances, and I’m afraid of new routes like fire. We arrived with a navigator pretty quickly. All the way, we thought that we were going to take a sistemnik from a boy of about sixteen who lives with his parents. Commonly accepted currency in this area is considered to be beer. A sixteen-year-old boy may be happy, but parents obviously will not approve. By the way, as it turned out later, on the other side of the pipe they thought that the phrase: “We are going” implies a father and a son. With all my imagination, I do not look like a dad. As a result, young couples appeared at both ends of the cellular communication. While our boys were swarming in their glands, my future girlfriend and I sat in the kitchen and drank tea with charlotte, looking for something common in our lives. It turned out that the sysadmins get up such miracles as the programmers do. After sitting with them until one o'clock in the morning and making a re-outing to the nearest store for common currency and juice (I am the responsible driver), we decided that we could go to the Diable to play the second. Well, let's go. We sat until the morning. And after all this, they began to make friends, which are insanely welcome.

As for Diablo II, and indeed all the games. I have never played before, I have not delayed the process, however, now too. But I think the guys will appreciate, although not everything, I passed this game on the normal. My home programmer said that I can be proud of it.

In general, my life is rich and fun. And honestly, I confess to you, I am very glad that I live with a programmer. Even despite the fact that instead of a bedside table, I have a system unit, and the fact that my hairdryer will work in cold mode for several hours, blowing the video card while it tunes the server. All this stuff, the main thing is to learn how to bypass the computer parts, placed in a chaotic manner on the floor. And there will be happiness, and whole fingers.

Author: D.Visekanets , all the karmic advantages to her.

UPD. Have started a blog. Link above.