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We remove the "noise" in situations

What is happening today and now? We live and enjoy the events. We get a sea of ​​positive. We are doing something. They tell us something. We make some decisions. Often we believe that all the decisions or conclusions we made are really ours. And in times of failure, we are looking for answers for ourselves. And they are happy to help us understand where the failures are and in what we are wrong. And how, ladies and gentlemen in general, we must live. This, of course, great and allows us to move on. But, time will pass, and we will look around. And there will be questions. Of course, we can again hear inspirational stories about life and its world order. And time will fly again, and we again run and whirl. It's great. But, for some reason, time will pass and questions will arise again. These strange and incomprehensible questions.

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I think, to people who have a wealth of experience, this article does not seem so colorful. Therefore, a huge request, let's save each other nerves. My attempt to convey some of my experience is intended for people who ask questions and do not know the answer to them. If she cannot help you, then let’s not interfere with the people to whom this can be helpful. And also she is just big.

Upd: some expressions were corrected, examples were added (at the end of the article).
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So let's get started.


Suppose you met your friend in the Internet, and want to "pull him outside." Simple and ordinary situation. What are you going to do? In fact, to answer this question just is not possible. It all depends on how you used to do. What kind of person is your friend. Etc. It is possible that the situation is such that a friend does not like to walk at all. But, nevertheless, our actions may have general trends. And, in fact, we choose from the following options:



In the first case, we go on a straight path, and do not hide our real desire. In the second case, we specifically add “noise”, so that in the eyes of a friend there is a slightly different picture. Moreover, by changes you can mean anything. Starting from "playing on emotions" (for example, "a cat from Shrek") to "complete deception".

Any of the actions require at least some more or less, but experience. It is difficult to persuade the “club lover” to go for a walk at night to the park, motivating his crusade only with the stories “what kind of club are these clubs, not that fresh air”.

All this seems like obvious things. Let's complicate the example a bit. You like to walk. Your friend loves "squares" (as one person put it), i.e. bars, cinemas, home gatherings. In the warm season, he can go for a walk. But, somewhere in an hour, or even earlier, he wants to “square”, i.e. in the room. And it does not suit you. At the same time, “paints and curtains” (stories about the extraordinary beauty of open spaces) do not work. Or they cease to act very quickly. Those. "Well, see what an awesome weather" - does not work. A simple whining and shouting of this situation is no longer possible. And you begin to apply the trick. How, for example, specifically go in the direction where there are no "squares", so that in any case, had to go back. And now the period of the walk increased by 2 times. Or go on the path of barter. You walk more time, but you definitely go to the "square". There are more options for tricks.

Consider it obvious. Let's get even harder. You like to walk. Your friend doesn’t like to walk at all, and it’s still slushy on the street, and sometimes sleet falls. If you act with simple methods, you can only wish good luck. If you follow the path of tricks, then, as the easiest option - is to plan the movement in space in such a way that you had to make the movement of the legs. For example, park a kilometer from the destination. But if you act only with one method, they will detect you and may be offended because a friend does not like to walk.

You can bring even more complex options, but the article was not written to demonstrate the complexity of situations.

Let's leave the option of "colorful description", since the title of the article does not imply it.

"Noise"


If you look at the same examples, what is visible? What is reality? Namely that you want to walk. What you have is your friend. And there is an exemplary concept of the characteristics of you and your friend. Imagine for a second that you do not know these things, and just see that two people are parking 10 minutes walk from the cafe, and go in that direction. It is logical to assume that there may be thousands of reasons. For example, just do not just park closer. Or they want to go to the store on the way and buy cigarettes. Etc.

Agree, without knowing the real conditions, the situation is changing. And your view on the situation changes. Maybe you see “Noise”, which is specially created so that one of them can walk at least a little. Or maybe you see the reality in the campaign for a pack of cigarettes.

You can play "please", i.e. sit and sort through various options. One can learn to analyze the moods of people, their movements, their state of mind, etc. For the first option - do not need anything. For the second - at least some experience. After all, you will not always have a lot of time to understand "what is what."

I think the conclusion suggests itself. “Noise” is not a match for reality.

How "noise" affects our lives


Before casting evidence. Let's think about it. So far, we have considered a fairly simple and peaceful situation in which there is nothing so terrible. No one dies. Nobody gets depressed. No one throws shouting "traitor". Etc.

I think, not once each of you thought about “I would have known it before.” There is nothing terrible about it. We are constantly learning. And we are looking for answers for ourselves, and we find the necessary solutions.

Just for example. When a couple of years later you realize that you were just a toy in the wrong hands. That is nothing positive you do not see. Yes, you are going with the spirit and say that this will not happen again. And go on. Yes, of course, in the future you will be right to say “passed through”, and you will bypass such situations. But this does not change the matter at all. There are a bunch of other tricks and examples. And by the way, it’s not a fact that you can not “confuse” your real situation with a bad one.

Just remember now just any of the difficult situations when everything turned out the other way around. When your beautiful rose-colored glasses broke. Is it true that this is not the only situation in life?

Get out damn "Noise"


I want to do something about it. No, well, really. Do not run from one situation to another. You can step on a rake 100 times in different ways, but it doesn’t get any better. Yes, now we do not step with the left foot, because it is just as bad as the right. But, it is somehow not justified. It still hurts every time.

What we can do?


Of course, you just want to learn how to separate the "noise" from reality. But, I warn you, this is not the most pleasant thing in your life. After that, just go back will be difficult. Your worldview will change. And you will have to learn how to act the way you couldn’t even imagine.

In the following descriptions there is nothing complicated or extraordinary. But, if you do this, go through situations and, step by step, clean everything that has accumulated. Then, over time, you will develop an algorithm for the separation of "Noise".

No matter how simple and ridiculous the subsequent lines would seem. Now ask yourself honestly, do you want to read them (yes, I want to disclaim responsibility)? If the warning scared you, maybe you should just close the article now? Call me balabol, and calm down on this?

So, you still read


You will need determination. The ability to go through yourself, even when everything seems completely different and impossible. These are not simple strings. To determine the "noise" you have to not only sit and watch, but also act. And these wonderful black letters on a white background will not do anything by themselves. No quick results you get. And we must be prepared that the results will not be the most pleasant in life. And that sometimes, when you feel bad, it will get worse.
And there will be periods when you will not even count on anyone, because no one else can help you.

Maybe worth a stop? Over there is a cross. Just then business click on it. Tell yourself that you have lost time on windbag. And sit down to watch a new video on YouTube? Maybe it nafig, eh? Well, honestly, eh? Out on the street, what a beautiful weather.

Well, what should I do? You keep reading


If you think that all the lines above are bullying and bravado, then I hasten to disappoint - this is not so. Here answer honestly, in a situation where everything is against you, you can stand up and say directly how it is? Even if it looks ridiculous and ridiculous? Even if after that you can say goodbye to what was? Just because you expressed your opinion? Here, by the way, right away, you understand your real place well. If people cross out all that was only because of the statement, which is different from the opinions of others, then we can safely go on. Or answer honestly, you can keep silent in a situation where you know that if a person does something, he will make a grave mistake and then he will be "sad"? And if you can not argue that it is for the better?

This is one of those questions that you have to answer yourself. And sometimes you have to respond quickly. can you do it?

I will give examples. Abstract. Albeit not very complicated.

Suppose you are faithfully trying to do something good and good. You aspire, soar in the clouds. And day by day, strange thoughts begin to disturb you. With all the good that I want to do, in fact, only a good cover for true purposes. What really all do not care for is good. That goal is only enrichment and power. But, you close your eyes to this. You believe that good can be. And you understand that the goal is actually close. Those. no longer ephemeral images, but real possibilities. But, it is this closeness that makes your understanding of horse racing. You are discovering a completely different look. You say it right, and then get up and leave. Because everything is built so that you do nothing.

Another example. In some strange and unknown way you will find out some information about what will happen. And as they say, if you do nothing, then nothing will change. Those. with the information you need to do something. But, you have a question. And what will change if you tell this news? No, I am not talking about heroism "the people should know the truth!" This is all cool and wonderful, but in practice of heroism you do not promise anything good, and this must be understood. And here you realize that for several reasons you don’t need to tell. And it is worth being silent. And not the fact that your silence will be for the better. But then you firmly know that having told you, it will get worse. Because people will not correctly use the information. And you have to accept it for yourself. Yes, stand and watch.

Cross? Well, up there.

How to separate the "noise" from reality


Let's think what distinguishes them. What distinguishes "noise" from reality?

Reality is often stable. It, of course, can change, but rarely this happens. How was the desire to get money from you, so it remains. As the desire for you to be a “spare airfield” was left. Just as the desire for you to be a “yolk” or a “performer of desires” remained so. As the desire for you to be a “puppet” was left. They rarely change. But, admittedly, it happens that they change.

“Noise” always changes when environmental disturbances occur. Or it just changes from day to day to hide the evidence. If you started to notice that “something is wrong”. So you will agree, tactics will change. You will already be told another story. It is stupid not to change tactics. Although, often tactics do not change, and change the curtains (for example, the importance of the task to sharply raise).

What else do we know?

If you know the reality, then there will be no extra questions. There will be no oddities. And any questions will always be answered. Good or bad, but they will.

To create a “noise” that fully replaces reality is an art. Make sure you never guess in your life. And humanity is engaged in this art throughout its existence. But it must be able to. And to be a real pro in this business. But, in practice, every fifth considers himself a genius of reincarnation. This is where errors and inconsistencies grow. At the same time, you can even directly talk about inconsistencies, and still on that side they can continue to say the same thing.

What other things do we know?

CEP Response. Reality is reality. It always has “but” and “but”, it always has pros and cons. She is real.

"Noise". It does not always have “but” and “but”, it does not always have disadvantages. It is easy to change concepts, interpretations and types.

So what we have

Reality:


"Noise"


Banality? Where are the assault grenades and the secrets of success? Winning stories? Where is it all ?!

Don't you remember yourself? When you did something with a serious look, and after a period they said “what the hell was I doing”? Is it completely different? Have you ever understood the new meaning of sayings and ordinary phrases? Have you always done right? You did not remember how simple things that you did not understand, over time, change your life and worldview? Remember at least one alien who guided you on the right path? Is the light a wedge? Did the petals of red roses fall around and smell of vanilla?

Cross there on top.

How can we separate them

First of all, it is a mixture. Those. “Noise” is always mixed with reality. Even if reality itself is just a desire to let “Noise.” Hee hee haha? Remember the flu. If interested, talk to the doctors.

What do we do if we want to separate something from something?

As if this was not idiotic, but in general to understand if there is a “noise”. Perhaps the fact that before us is a reality.

Option 2:


Observation of the dynamics of events

The first thing you do. This throws out of the analysis everything related to promises, conversations, assurances, beautiful phrases. See only action. Like the facts. Vasya went to the store. Forgive me Vasya. Vasya bought a car. Vasya forgot about the holiday. Vasya says bad things. In these facts there is nothing about the specifics of words (Vasya says mean things - this is a fact of action, we do not know the words). Very good fact: "Vasya is confused in the stories." You begin to see what is happening without words. For example, the whole night in the club was engaged in following the friends so that nothing was done, and paid most of the order, because they did not have enough money. If this is a rare fact, then nothing so terrible. Anything can happen. But if this is every time, then you probably should think?

Viewing the dynamics of actions allows you to understand the sequence of actions, and compare them with the stated realities. And here it becomes clear how the sequence of actions begins to coincide with the stated goals.

Just can become visible just inconsistencies. I think it will arouse suspicion if a person after a good conversation suddenly begins to be actively interested in your religious views.

Also, if you see the throwing between directions, then there should be a question about what it is connected with. And it is worth looking at past dynamics to complete the picture and make sure that these or other facts do not fit together. After all, a naive and sincere person is unlikely to be simply rude in someone's direction.

Active disturbances

Observation is a good thing. But, it takes time. Of course, if you have already learned how to quickly catch inconsistencies, then it will take a little time. But, not always there is time. This is where courage is needed. Because as soon as you start to conduct activity, the Noise will immediately change and miracles will start to happen. You will be assured of aliens. The fact that you are a fool and do not understand anything in life. They will be offended and say how bad you are. Play on your emotions. In general, to do everything to not only reduce your activity, but also to kill in you the desire to do something else. And most importantly, that you sincerely believe in what you are told.

Therefore, there will be miracles of balancing act. And it will not be very easy, especially if it is not the last people in your life.

What is the essence of active disturbances. No, you do not just have to do something. You have to choose the most subtle and most dubious moments. And act in their direction, change the tactics of actions and the general environment. And very active. If you act sluggishly, the breach will quickly close. Think it easy? Remember yourself, how much time did you need to ask really exciting questions? How much strength did you gain for a hard talk?

And you need to very quickly highlight the facts for yourself. Do not just talk about it. And after, during the respite, watch the dynamics of events.

Okay. Decided that the "noise" is

Now it would not be bad to take care of what would separate the "noise". If you are engaged only in observation and are not ready to do the wonders of activity. Then build the dynamics. See the most appropriate options. They must be several. Both bad and good. We are all people, we can be wrong. And start asking very simple questions that fit the "Noise", but do not fit the options. Gradually look where these answers lead. If you take the example of the same “golden cow”, then tell the guys that money is forgotten at home, it happens. And look what will be going on. Those. You are asking questions that are not protesting against “Noise”, but rather, how would you advise how to act. In this case, you must agree to everything, and if you are accused, then do not make any dramatic changes. Just agree and watch. Now you can lose something, but in the future you will gain more. With each such advice, the diversity of facts will begin to grow, and it will be easier for you to determine which option fits the reality. And yes, at the last moment you will already have all the cards on hand. And it will be a big surprise. And everything will fall down like a house of cards. But, if you do not collect the facts, then you are likely to lose. One must endure to find the answer.

Consider the option when you can be active. Have to act fast. The more activity, the faster you will collect for yourself a basket of facts. But it will not be very easy, because a lot of interesting things will fly to your address. And here it is important not to let yourself be overwhelmed with emotions. In simple situations, nothing more is over. And in the complex only abstraction, you still have time to mourn, now you can not waste time on it. The most important thing is not to retreat, no matter how difficult it is. Be sure to see that in your facts there are no lines related to emotional subjectivity. Those. facts, such as “Vasya the Goat” - should not appear.

In this case, in the active version, it is also possible to apply the “sharp rise, sharp reset” technique. When you are very active. And then abruptly stop it. And wait for a while. May appear more than you expected.

Separated. What's next?


Here the most difficult begins. You think that just to separate - is that all? You are deeply mistaken. This is where the fun begins. Understanding reality, you involuntarily begin to re-recognize everything that happened to you before. And this is not an easy moment. And if he is not alone, it will be very difficult. Find out that you were a "snack". Plus, the reality can be much tougher than you thought. And it will be very big blows.

How not strange. But right now you will have to overcome yourself. You need to understand the reasons for the actions of the other side. Why it was. What were the motives. And the most difficult thing is to forgive. And do not try to blame until the end of life. This does not mean that you should continue to run and jump together along the track. You must find in yourself the place of this reality, with whatever it is connected.

Pleasant


No need to see behind all written apocalypse incarnate. Not so bad. Yes, this is not a simple thing. And yes, your views will change. And maybe the first time will not be very. But there is a lot of good. Imagine you have discovered new horizons. You spent a long and empty time. And now you can spend it where you really enjoy it. You do not spend years going nowhere. You discover something new. You are listening to your true desires. And it's easier for you to breathe. You no longer need to spend a lot of time to understand that this is a rake. Each time you simply bypass them, and don’t waste your time on them at all. And most importantly, you begin to act. You open your eyes. And you see many wonderful things that were previously hidden from you.

Upd: Examples

Examples


I will cite a number of examples along with their analysis (it does not matter whether they are real or fictional). To practice to show what is at stake. Immediately make a reservation that the situation will be simple. Analysis of complex situations will take too much time, and for clarity, they will be worse.

Example 1

Take the situation from the comments.
“On the other hand, relations are multifaceted and having paid the bill for friends at the bar, you can then ask them in kind, and with whom the service…. WIN-WIN strategy when everyone is happy with everything. ”

The first thing to do is remove the emotional background and prejudice.

Let's imagine this situation. There is nothing bad, terrible and reprehensible in it. But, in this statement there is something superfluous that can play a cruel joke in the future.

What do we know about the situation in the facts from the description?



Now try to think about what the inconsistencies are?

The last three statements describe all known relationships. This is a market relationship.

Is it a normal friendship in the presence of pronounced market relations? At some points, the presence of market relations is a normal phenomenon. But pronounced - definitely "no." Those. The first fact “people are friends” is a dubious statement. And this information is too small to make statements about friendship.

Those. for the time being, it is described simply a “club of interests”, where people make an exchange, and are happy with it. Nothing wrong with that. But there is no friendship.

What is the evil joke of friendship statement?

Can you imagine a “friendly market”? Where everyone goes for the handle. And beautiful flowers bloom around. Well, honestly?

You will most likely rely on true friendships in difficult moments for you. Difficult moments - it does not "stall outside the city." And then wonders sprinkle. And besides the real problem, you will have an internal insult, which obviously will not add you strength.
Another variant. As soon as you stop supplying “something” to the “market” - you will gradually disappear from it.
Another option. As long as you “eat” from different bowls, everything will be fine. Somehow only one bone for you will be thrown at you for two or there will be a serious conflict of interests, the “friendly” atmosphere will suddenly cease to be. And you will walk and look with sad eyes into the clouds, and be surprised at what is happening.
It is important to understand that no one here is bad. Just a market relationship. And it’s not right to demand that people act like friends. And not the fact that if you are offended, a person will understand "for what."

Note: if your relationship really is that way, then I would think about it in your place before you come across miracles.

Example 2

Take some other direction in life. Let it be "work".
Imagine the following situation.
A small company. It employs ten people. Three of them are heads. You work as a specialist. You really want to grow up and become a real "nasilka." And you, with trepidation in your soul, go to the “swingers” asking in their camp. You are told the verbatim phrase: “Exactly in a year you will become the head!”. You are inspired.
And that's all we know.

Again, we remove the emotional background. And write the facts.

What do we know?



Nothing alarming?

Someone already understood everything, someone else on the production. But, nevertheless, we will continue.
The first. In order for you to become a “clerk”, not only by appointment in labor, you must hire at least 3 people. Otherwise, the maximum limit is the position and a couple of new functions. You want to become a real “clerk”, so it does not interest us. Thus, the amount of work should grow so that these people appeared.
The second. You are given an exact date, and even for a fairly long time. It is also necessary to take into account that the phrase is built in such a way that you are given a guarantee. And there are no “ifs” in the phrase. Those. You just promise that "everything will be sure," and nothing will matter. Neither thunder nor lightning.
Third. The term is a year. The company is small. You are inspired. Those. cool doing your duties for a long time.
Fourth. Since there is not a single mention of the fact that you will have to do something extra, there is a high probability that you will simply continue to fulfill your duties.

Is the situation utopian? Guaranteed company growth. Booked post for a year for you, outside the specific framework. 100% promise. In this case, you do not have to do something else, different from your current responsibilities.

Of course, this may be, under the confluence of certain circumstances. Or in the presence of agreements in which you are not initiated.

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Example 3

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Imagine the situation.
You are a young man (I feel more comfortable :)). You fell in love with a girl. Love her sincerely and with all your heart. You are not dating. The girl is kind of loyal to you. The girl knows that you have feelings for her. The girl has a young man. But she is clearly not happy with the relationship that she has. You walk together. You communicate together. Have a good time. Periodically, you have about love conversations. But, everything fights on the rocks "I can not do that, for me it is a very difficult situation." And it seems like periodically the girl is going to break the existing relationship. But, there are "difficulties".

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The first.The girl has a boyfriend. The girl does not suit her relationship. The girl continues to meet. There are "difficulties". It turns out that the girl believes that her relationship can still improve. Or does not want to be alone. Nevertheless, summing up, we find that the girl is not going to break off the relationship. At least for now.
The second.The girl is loyal to you. The girl knows that you have feelings for her. You have a wonderful time. About love talk ends nothing. The girl continues to meet. It turns out that you are just having a good time, and everything else happens not with you. Those. You have fun.
Third.About love talk ends nothing. It turns out that what the girl wants in love and relationships, you can not give her. This is not you bad. Just your views and desires do not match.
Fourth. You continue to spend time together in the same vein. They do not meet with you, but they also do not give you a lapel-turn.

It is not regrettable, but it turns out that you are a “backup option” and “a wish performer. You will do everything to achieve the girl, but your way out will be only when the time comes to plan "B". And it may not come.

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Another variant. You will meet other girls. You can marry. Lead children. But every moment you will be waiting for “that very moment.” To see that girl in the wife, forgetting that your wife is a man, another person. And if she also finds out about this.
Another option. The most tender and romantic moments will be filled with sadness. Because at these moments you will remember the very one. And this is understandable.

PS Once again, if you do not need it, then let's just not discuss it.
PPS If you are not ready, then you should not do it. You will need an inner core, otherwise you may break.
PPPS Yes, yes, I balabol :)

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/141729/


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