Why I want to go home: the manifesto of the father and the developer
I love my job, I love my career, I like to solve complex problems, I like to develop large programs. But not as much as I love my daughter.
When I was younger, I came before everyone else to work, wrote the code all day, was the last to leave the office, came home and wrote the code again. It didn't matter what to write, I just liked it. Until that moment, there was a remarkable event. My wife and I have a child.
When I found out that my wife was pregnant, I was extremely happy. Not only because there were a lot of difficulties on our way, the most important thing I always knew that I wanted to have children. I wanted to be a father. No, I wanted to be a great father. I promised myself and my unborn child that I would be as close as possible.
Here you will probably think: how can this be combined? The work before the loss of pulse, fueled by caffeine, the desperate path of a career-oriented developer - all this doesn’t seem to fit in with the lovely trips home for lunch. This is true. I had a change of priorities with the realization of the main thing: if you have problems at work, you can always find another one. But if you have family problems, especially in relations with children, it will remain with you forever.
')
Therefore, I made a choice to be at home every day to spend time with my daughter, even if it negatively affects my career. So, I get to the office at 6: 30-6: 45 am every day, I work 9 hours, and at this time I send all my strength to work, I return home around 4 o'clock. Time from 16:30 and 19:30 is sacred to me. It belongs to my daughter. The problem is that I work with a lot of people on the west coast (who usually start their day later) and it’s perfectly normal for them to meet from 2 to 3 days. This is absolutely contrary to the time I devote to my daughter, so I try to cancel or postpone most of these meetings. Of course, I try to be pragmatic and if something really important is discussed, I will be in a meeting. The price can be high, and the old habits are not so easy to eradicate. When my daughter goes to bed, I spend time with my wife, write code, or, if necessary, do something else. Well, about the fact that someone was going to at 8 or 9 pm Pacific time, no one heard.
At first I had a feeling of guilt for leaving my comrades at a difficult time. This feeling intensified when, during the assessment, I heard the opinion that the team would be nice to be with the team when it comes to working late. But, look, I spend at work 9 hours and only 3 hours with my daughter! This is unfair to her daughter.
When I began to follow my new principles, I realized that I became more productive when I rest from the code for a while. I drive home to play with my daughter, feed her, bathe her, read her books, put her to bed. At this time, the brain is working. My subconscious is constantly looking for ways to solve some problems. There are many studies showing that interruptions in the performance of difficult tasks contribute to their more rapid solution. In addition, nothing will lead you to such delight, as a game with a two-year-old child who has developed beyond the years.
Of course, I don’t give out the same amount of code as before, partly because I started to lead more, and partly because I started writing better code.
Another advantage was the fact that I stopped "burn" at work. Deadlines and night work are exhausting. Now I come to the office as concentrated as possible, with ready-made solutions. When you work at night, only a small percentage of the time turns out to be productive (if it will be productive at all). It is harder for you to make decisions when you are overtired and you are behind the schedule. You go crazy trying to complete one project, because the requirements were impossible or it was badly planned. You need to carry out the next project, and you have already burned. As a result, debt accumulates and this leads to new sleepless nights and suffering.
Even if you have no compelling reason to do as I do, curb your deadlines. You may find that by spending a few hours on something interesting outside of work, it will help in your work! I recommend reading the book " Rework " from the guys from 37signals. It covers most of my conversion.
Note Trans .: This is my first translation in my life, comments are welcome. The article used a picture of my daughter (because the material of the article applies to me too).
When I was younger, I came before everyone else to work, wrote the code all day, was the last to leave the office, came home and wrote the code again. It didn't matter what to write, I just liked it. Until that moment, there was a remarkable event. My wife and I have a child.
When I found out that my wife was pregnant, I was extremely happy. Not only because there were a lot of difficulties on our way, the most important thing I always knew that I wanted to have children. I wanted to be a father. No, I wanted to be a great father. I promised myself and my unborn child that I would be as close as possible.
Here you will probably think: how can this be combined? The work before the loss of pulse, fueled by caffeine, the desperate path of a career-oriented developer - all this doesn’t seem to fit in with the lovely trips home for lunch. This is true. I had a change of priorities with the realization of the main thing: if you have problems at work, you can always find another one. But if you have family problems, especially in relations with children, it will remain with you forever.
')
Therefore, I made a choice to be at home every day to spend time with my daughter, even if it negatively affects my career. So, I get to the office at 6: 30-6: 45 am every day, I work 9 hours, and at this time I send all my strength to work, I return home around 4 o'clock. Time from 16:30 and 19:30 is sacred to me. It belongs to my daughter. The problem is that I work with a lot of people on the west coast (who usually start their day later) and it’s perfectly normal for them to meet from 2 to 3 days. This is absolutely contrary to the time I devote to my daughter, so I try to cancel or postpone most of these meetings. Of course, I try to be pragmatic and if something really important is discussed, I will be in a meeting. The price can be high, and the old habits are not so easy to eradicate. When my daughter goes to bed, I spend time with my wife, write code, or, if necessary, do something else. Well, about the fact that someone was going to at 8 or 9 pm Pacific time, no one heard.
At first I had a feeling of guilt for leaving my comrades at a difficult time. This feeling intensified when, during the assessment, I heard the opinion that the team would be nice to be with the team when it comes to working late. But, look, I spend at work 9 hours and only 3 hours with my daughter! This is unfair to her daughter.
When I began to follow my new principles, I realized that I became more productive when I rest from the code for a while. I drive home to play with my daughter, feed her, bathe her, read her books, put her to bed. At this time, the brain is working. My subconscious is constantly looking for ways to solve some problems. There are many studies showing that interruptions in the performance of difficult tasks contribute to their more rapid solution. In addition, nothing will lead you to such delight, as a game with a two-year-old child who has developed beyond the years.
Of course, I don’t give out the same amount of code as before, partly because I started to lead more, and partly because I started writing better code.
Another advantage was the fact that I stopped "burn" at work. Deadlines and night work are exhausting. Now I come to the office as concentrated as possible, with ready-made solutions. When you work at night, only a small percentage of the time turns out to be productive (if it will be productive at all). It is harder for you to make decisions when you are overtired and you are behind the schedule. You go crazy trying to complete one project, because the requirements were impossible or it was badly planned. You need to carry out the next project, and you have already burned. As a result, debt accumulates and this leads to new sleepless nights and suffering.
Even if you have no compelling reason to do as I do, curb your deadlines. You may find that by spending a few hours on something interesting outside of work, it will help in your work! I recommend reading the book " Rework " from the guys from 37signals. It covers most of my conversion.
Note Trans .: This is my first translation in my life, comments are welcome. The article used a picture of my daughter (because the material of the article applies to me too).
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/134133/
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