Dialogue with the Universal Mind

There are just bad things. There are very bad ones. And there are things so bad that in them, in complete agreement with the precepts of Taoism and Zen Buddhism, a sacred meaning is suddenly cut through, which “good” things dare not even dream of. The notorious agent Mulder, for example, at the moments when the investigation reached an impasse, was reviewing the “worst film of all times and peoples” - “Plan 9 from outer space” . According to him, the film was so disgusting that it turned off the entire reasonable part of the brain, activating the subconscious processes that could lead to ingenious tension. :)

The terrible quality of modern machine translation has long been the talk of the town. Even the mighty Google Translate does its job with a loud creak, not to mention such wonderful products as PROMT . However, what is there PROMT ! A certain site Bad Translator makes us fully understand what a really bad translation is. However, following the first paragraph of the topic, this translation is so terrible that it suddenly finds philosophical depth and can even become an analogue of ... a dialogue with the Universe.
')
Under the cut instruction and samples of profound (sometimes truly profound) dialogues with the Universal Mind.

The scheme is simple:

• We go to the site ;
• Select in the settings of Google ;
• Specify the maximum (56) number of transformations;
• Put a tick "Random Language Order" ;
• We begin a dialogue with the all-knowing and all-forgiving Universal Mind. :) As answers, the Universe will be the last in the chain a reverse translation into Russian. It is important not to abuse untranslatable slang.

Below are selected (not my) examples of dialogue with the universe.

An extremely informative philosophical dialogue:

Q: I want to talk to you about philosophy. What are your views on the essence of being?
A: I think philosophy. It's not a problem.
Q: Good, but you didn’t answer my question. Or did you mean that the problem of being should not be discussed in philosophical discussions? But what about the basic question of philosophy?
A: Answer to my question. What are the debates? However, the main question of philosophy is how to do this?
Q: that is, the main task of philosophy is to change the world, and not to explain it?
A: In other words, the role of philosophy - I cannot explain. The world has changed, though.
Q: you are a very good conversationalist. Few people believe that philosophy changes anything.
A: This is a very good player. Some think that philosophy has not changed.
Q: they are right in some way. Not about the approaches and methods of philosophy - but about its tasks. Still, to seek the truth - its main purpose.
A: That means it's true. Methods and concepts - the question. The main purpose of this is true.
Q: exactly! It was a pleasure to talk to you. Hope to see you again.

An example of a successful online dating:

Q: Will I have a girlfriend this year?
A: So how is this project?
Q: Yes, for good. So there will be a girl?
A: All rights reserved.
Q: That is, it will appear?
A: Of course not.
Q: And when will it appear?
A: So what?
Q: I want what I would have Tian (approx. "Girl" in slang)
A: I love elephants.
Q: And I am girls. So when will it appear?
A: I am a woman. So what if you?
Q: How old are you? More than 18?
A: 18
Q: And where are you from? Moscow?
A: Is it Moscow?
Q: Yes, I'm from Moscow
A: Yes, I am in Moscow
Q: Give a truss
A: Asetshku
Q: Thank you, let's go there now.
A: Thanks for a minute.

Ecumenical Mind uses the classic "we work on it" excuse:

Q: Is it possible to know the truth?
A: We want to make this possible.

He is watching us:

Q: God is somewhere far away and does not interfere.
A: God cannot work in the background.

He loves us all:

Q: Do we both have feelings? Can you experience love?
A: Anyway? I love you!

Are you interested in what is his name?

Q: you are an unusual companion
A: John
Q: very nice, John. did you introduce yourself?
A: Yes, John. So what?

Bad news for those who want to live forever:

Q: How to become immortal?
A: Not.

Bad news for racists:

Q: What is your skin color?
A: Brown.

It is a pity that He did not specify the year:

Q: Discover the meaning of life.
A: I'm going in September

However, not everywhere there is a hidden meaning. As Freud said, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”:

Q: The mysterious truth about mirrors
A: Actually, glass

A little bit about politics:

Q: Why is Putin lying?
A: If Putin is a liar, then why not? (really)

The answer to the question that worries us all:

Q: Will we all die next year?
A: It will be next year, right?

Q: when will the end of the world and in what he expresses his essence
A: World Environment Day (meaning we will all die on June 5, 2012!)

However, it should not be considered that the Universal Mind is the ultimate truth, because:

Q: And you are not fooling me?
A: It is.

Q: I wanted to ask you. You know everything? Or not?
A: I heard. Is it true? NOT!

Q: Do you know the truth?
A: We do not know.

By the way, Ecumenical Reason is not devoid of a sense of humor and is able to show sarcasm on occasion:

Q: I am your home pipe trumpet
A: Happiness

Q: I want to die.
A: I hope you die.

Finally, the dialogue without comment, which is worth considering:

Q: Sometimes we leave
A: Never

Q: That which is higher than us
A: Music

Q: To become a strong person, you need to learn to think, or learn to understand?
A: ability to think clearly.

Q: Genocide, extermination, purification - this is the only true future of man.
A: Removing crime - The future of human rights

And last but not least:

Q: who is in power on earth
A: Boyd (here we are evil and exposed)