To launch the Farminers incubator: race for the prize of $ 150,000 or 10 "golden" rules of the young startups
The beginning of September 2011 was marked by the entry into the venture investment market of a new start-up incubator Farminers under the leadership of Alyona Vladimirskaya and Igor Matsanyuk. As they wrote in Vedomosti , “one of the founders of Astrum Online Entertainment, the largest gaming holding company, and the former top manager of Mail.ru Group, Igor Matzanyuk, and the founder of the Pruffi recruiting agency, Alena Vladimirskaya, create Farminers incubator, in which promising Internet projects can receive money for development business. The startup is allocated up to $ 150,000 for a period of 3-6 months, as well as fully equipped workplaces with Macbook computers in a modern office. ”
This wonderful news could not be overlooked by “professional startups” and “federal startups”, who with great joy began to rework their presentations in order to have time to participate in cutting new sums of money. There is obviously more money here than Arkady Moreynis has in his “Glavstarte”, and they give him a warm office with a macbook - many will manage to move from the stations, finally, live under the roof of the office. The stakes are rising, gentlemen, so in order to receive money it is necessary that the start-up and his project comply with several important rules. Their observance will help you to break out until the second round of investments and become a recognized expert of the Runet.
So, we start trolling.
1) Remember: The goal of any startup is to cut the investor's money.
Do not change the world. Don't make it better. Do not become a famous entrepreneur. And earn. And you have to earn personally. Someone must pay for the years of your lack of money. The welfare of the investor no one cares: in the end, he is no smarter than you, but just turned out to be in the right place in the right structure. Now he has a lot of undeserved loot, which must be shared with more enterprising people - startups.
2) Not to have a profile (better - no education at all).
Internet business is not nuclear physics, anyone can figure it out. Ideally - a diploma of some "left" university in a specialty that has nothing to do with IT. Although, of course, service in the army, of incomplete higher, secondary and other education, is quite enough. You came from Yakutia, and from diplomas you only have a music school in accordion, bayan and accordion classes? - No problem. There is no time to learn, guys, because there is a race for money. Then buy yourself any MBA for investor money.
3) Do not understand the problem, the solution of which is proposed in your project, and be unable to solve it independently.
This is especially important for a startup. Are you an autistic geek who cannot communicate with people, and your list of friends is limited to your grandmother and dog? This is great, you should engage in popular social networks. You do not know how to meet girls, they are not interested in them and you have nothing to offer them? We do dating-service. Are your sporting achievements limited to picking up a beer bottle and running after the next one? Take a major sports portal. In your childhood did a bear come to your ear? Your startup should be for lovers of classical music. Zaika learn to orate; not able to earn - to make a site about the increase of personal finances; and people who have seen sex only on the monitor - become the leaders of the porn industry. The investor will be very pleased with such projects.
4) The investor is not looking for an idea or a prototype, but for a team.
Therefore, boldly include in it everyone you know. Calmly exaggerate their (and your) skills. Have you seen a debugger? Write: "I have a lot of experience in debugging." Did you write a calculator at school in C? "Freely speak modern programming languages." Grandmothers sold cucumbers in the country? "The experience of direct sales in the Moscow region." The prototype of your site can therefore be completely unworkable, but beautiful. All errors push to the browser glitches.
5) Figures, your mother, FIGURES!
Investors need numbers. Business plan, forecast for three years, ebitda, irr, etc. Fill in a detailed table in Excel, at least there were some empty speculations and hypotheses. How much will your project cost in three years? In five years? “FIG knows” - the answer is incorrect. A billion rubles at least. Not enough numbers? Well, what a kindergarten. So, we take the standard PC-keyboard, put the cursor in the required field and perform a forehead strike on the Numerical Pad. The figures are ready, the investor is satisfied. Large volumes require a randomizer, but this should not be a problem for you. A lie, though everywhere, but it must be. Play by the rules, good, they are simple. The volume of the market, the ceiling of the audience - lam there, lam here.
6) Prepare in advance fakes and people who will fill with fakes your site.
As much as possible fake registrations! Nobody cares if you have real people. Several hundred thousand registrations and zero online? It's okay, but advertising and other budgets have already been mastered. By that time, as the indicator “unique users” will interest someone, you will be on the island of Barbados to sip cocktails and lazily write on Facebook on the fate of Russian start-ups. Daily generation of fakes and reporting on them is part of being a real startup. Be bold in fantasies regarding user names, do not limit yourself to the standard “Ivan Ivanov”. "Isaac Zyabin, Rurik Fedorichevsky, Kaleria Taisiyev-Petushkina" and others will become the core of your users and will be pleasantly pleased with the eye.
7) Mash your speech apparatus.
Prepare a lexicon for free dandy with the words “wee shiit”, “term shiit” (not to be confused with shit), “biviaika”, “vesting” (not to be confused with fisting) and other useful terms. Abbreviation - your friend. SMM should not be confused with BDSM, and EBITDA is not a mate. And stop stumbling when pronouncing the words "Cypriot, Dutch, Hong Kong"! Remember the mantra: “nothing can be done in Russia”, “Russian law is dense and outdated compared to the GREAT WEST”, “all IT companies are offshore.”
8) Freely sign any documents under foreign law (and none - under Russian law).
Does the investor ask you to sign something under English law? By the right of Hong Kong? "All disputes will arise will be considered by the court in Switzerland by the law of the canton Schaffhausen"? What's the difference! Swipe without embarrassment. Even if he manages to go to a foreign court with this cydulka, no one will execute the decision of such a court in our country. What? It says binding, i.e. binding? Well, well ... Do not be afraid that you are, right, well, reeling, if that, on some money earned.
9) The correct name is half the battle.
As a startup name, so it will float. So - the dictionary Ozhegova to help. Also, if you already got into a puddle on all start-up parties with your startup, it doesn't matter. An elegant name change - and a deadly project turns into a start-up “which has never been presented before.” And the sheep are fed, and the wolves are fed too.
10) And be confident.
Consider everyone more stupid. After all, this is the case.
Tear off the western idea, make a beautiful presentation (more precisely, take it off from there), buy a key chain imitating the key from the Volkswagen Touareg, hitch away a bus pass, brush your hair with thoughts of big money, car leasing, macbooks, rock crystal braces and send a miniature Filipina as a secretary to your project in Farminers.
150,000 dollars have been waiting for a guy like you.
This wonderful news could not be overlooked by “professional startups” and “federal startups”, who with great joy began to rework their presentations in order to have time to participate in cutting new sums of money. There is obviously more money here than Arkady Moreynis has in his “Glavstarte”, and they give him a warm office with a macbook - many will manage to move from the stations, finally, live under the roof of the office. The stakes are rising, gentlemen, so in order to receive money it is necessary that the start-up and his project comply with several important rules. Their observance will help you to break out until the second round of investments and become a recognized expert of the Runet.
So, we start trolling.
1) Remember: The goal of any startup is to cut the investor's money.
Do not change the world. Don't make it better. Do not become a famous entrepreneur. And earn. And you have to earn personally. Someone must pay for the years of your lack of money. The welfare of the investor no one cares: in the end, he is no smarter than you, but just turned out to be in the right place in the right structure. Now he has a lot of undeserved loot, which must be shared with more enterprising people - startups.
2) Not to have a profile (better - no education at all).
Internet business is not nuclear physics, anyone can figure it out. Ideally - a diploma of some "left" university in a specialty that has nothing to do with IT. Although, of course, service in the army, of incomplete higher, secondary and other education, is quite enough. You came from Yakutia, and from diplomas you only have a music school in accordion, bayan and accordion classes? - No problem. There is no time to learn, guys, because there is a race for money. Then buy yourself any MBA for investor money.
3) Do not understand the problem, the solution of which is proposed in your project, and be unable to solve it independently.
This is especially important for a startup. Are you an autistic geek who cannot communicate with people, and your list of friends is limited to your grandmother and dog? This is great, you should engage in popular social networks. You do not know how to meet girls, they are not interested in them and you have nothing to offer them? We do dating-service. Are your sporting achievements limited to picking up a beer bottle and running after the next one? Take a major sports portal. In your childhood did a bear come to your ear? Your startup should be for lovers of classical music. Zaika learn to orate; not able to earn - to make a site about the increase of personal finances; and people who have seen sex only on the monitor - become the leaders of the porn industry. The investor will be very pleased with such projects.
4) The investor is not looking for an idea or a prototype, but for a team.
Therefore, boldly include in it everyone you know. Calmly exaggerate their (and your) skills. Have you seen a debugger? Write: "I have a lot of experience in debugging." Did you write a calculator at school in C? "Freely speak modern programming languages." Grandmothers sold cucumbers in the country? "The experience of direct sales in the Moscow region." The prototype of your site can therefore be completely unworkable, but beautiful. All errors push to the browser glitches.
5) Figures, your mother, FIGURES!
Investors need numbers. Business plan, forecast for three years, ebitda, irr, etc. Fill in a detailed table in Excel, at least there were some empty speculations and hypotheses. How much will your project cost in three years? In five years? “FIG knows” - the answer is incorrect. A billion rubles at least. Not enough numbers? Well, what a kindergarten. So, we take the standard PC-keyboard, put the cursor in the required field and perform a forehead strike on the Numerical Pad. The figures are ready, the investor is satisfied. Large volumes require a randomizer, but this should not be a problem for you. A lie, though everywhere, but it must be. Play by the rules, good, they are simple. The volume of the market, the ceiling of the audience - lam there, lam here.
6) Prepare in advance fakes and people who will fill with fakes your site.
As much as possible fake registrations! Nobody cares if you have real people. Several hundred thousand registrations and zero online? It's okay, but advertising and other budgets have already been mastered. By that time, as the indicator “unique users” will interest someone, you will be on the island of Barbados to sip cocktails and lazily write on Facebook on the fate of Russian start-ups. Daily generation of fakes and reporting on them is part of being a real startup. Be bold in fantasies regarding user names, do not limit yourself to the standard “Ivan Ivanov”. "Isaac Zyabin, Rurik Fedorichevsky, Kaleria Taisiyev-Petushkina" and others will become the core of your users and will be pleasantly pleased with the eye.
7) Mash your speech apparatus.
Prepare a lexicon for free dandy with the words “wee shiit”, “term shiit” (not to be confused with shit), “biviaika”, “vesting” (not to be confused with fisting) and other useful terms. Abbreviation - your friend. SMM should not be confused with BDSM, and EBITDA is not a mate. And stop stumbling when pronouncing the words "Cypriot, Dutch, Hong Kong"! Remember the mantra: “nothing can be done in Russia”, “Russian law is dense and outdated compared to the GREAT WEST”, “all IT companies are offshore.”
8) Freely sign any documents under foreign law (and none - under Russian law).
Does the investor ask you to sign something under English law? By the right of Hong Kong? "All disputes will arise will be considered by the court in Switzerland by the law of the canton Schaffhausen"? What's the difference! Swipe without embarrassment. Even if he manages to go to a foreign court with this cydulka, no one will execute the decision of such a court in our country. What? It says binding, i.e. binding? Well, well ... Do not be afraid that you are, right, well, reeling, if that, on some money earned.
9) The correct name is half the battle.
As a startup name, so it will float. So - the dictionary Ozhegova to help. Also, if you already got into a puddle on all start-up parties with your startup, it doesn't matter. An elegant name change - and a deadly project turns into a start-up “which has never been presented before.” And the sheep are fed, and the wolves are fed too.
10) And be confident.
Consider everyone more stupid. After all, this is the case.
Tear off the western idea, make a beautiful presentation (more precisely, take it off from there), buy a key chain imitating the key from the Volkswagen Touareg, hitch away a bus pass, brush your hair with thoughts of big money, car leasing, macbooks, rock crystal braces and send a miniature Filipina as a secretary to your project in Farminers.
150,000 dollars have been waiting for a guy like you.
')
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/127623/
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