How to make a caller as quiet as his mouse
(I work as a technical support engineer in the evenings)
Me: Pensilvania Technical Support Center. How can I help you?
Subscriber: Cleaners just came to me and after that the mouse stopped working. The cursor just randomly jumps back and forth. They broke my mouse, I need a new one.
')
Me: You work for a SPARCstation with an optical mouse, right?
Caller: Yes, with a cool glass mat ^^
(One of the first optical mice needed special reflective mats with an etched grid pattern on the surface. To increase the resolution, the distance between the vertical and horizontal lines was slightly different.)
Me: Cleaners washed under your table?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Did they move your mouse pad?
Caller: Yes, what kind of relationship can it have?
Me: Did the mouse pad move? Is the larger edge of the rug parallel to the table edge?
Caller: Listen, I really do not understand how this can affect - just give me a new mouse!
Me: The orientation of the rug matters, in fact ...
(The caller interrupts me and starts screaming. I understand that his voice comes from somewhere below - from the hall)
Caller: Listen! Just make a ticket and let someone bring me a new mouse! I have no time for your games. I develop chips and I know what I'm talking about! I may have designed your phone on which you answer all day!
(I take off my headset, go downstairs to the hall, enter his office and walk up to his desk.)
Caller: ... so it's not f *** my brain. Wait a second, someone entered my office.
(I bend down and turn his rug 90 degrees. I move the mouse and the cursor finally moves with it correctly. I get out of the office, rise to myself, sit at my desk and put on the back side
Subscriber: * silence *
I: Thank you for calling the Pennsylvania Technical Support Center. I think we solved your problem.
Subscriber: * silence *
Me: You will receive your ticket to your email, thanks for calling!
Subscriber: * click *
via
Me: Pensilvania Technical Support Center. How can I help you?
Subscriber: Cleaners just came to me and after that the mouse stopped working. The cursor just randomly jumps back and forth. They broke my mouse, I need a new one.
')
Me: You work for a SPARCstation with an optical mouse, right?
Caller: Yes, with a cool glass mat ^^
(One of the first optical mice needed special reflective mats with an etched grid pattern on the surface. To increase the resolution, the distance between the vertical and horizontal lines was slightly different.)
Me: Cleaners washed under your table?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Did they move your mouse pad?
Caller: Yes, what kind of relationship can it have?
Me: Did the mouse pad move? Is the larger edge of the rug parallel to the table edge?
Caller: Listen, I really do not understand how this can affect - just give me a new mouse!
Me: The orientation of the rug matters, in fact ...
(The caller interrupts me and starts screaming. I understand that his voice comes from somewhere below - from the hall)
Caller: Listen! Just make a ticket and let someone bring me a new mouse! I have no time for your games. I develop chips and I know what I'm talking about! I may have designed your phone on which you answer all day!
(I take off my headset, go downstairs to the hall, enter his office and walk up to his desk.)
Caller: ... so it's not f *** my brain. Wait a second, someone entered my office.
(I bend down and turn his rug 90 degrees. I move the mouse and the cursor finally moves with it correctly. I get out of the office, rise to myself, sit at my desk and put on the back side
Subscriber: * silence *
I: Thank you for calling the Pennsylvania Technical Support Center. I think we solved your problem.
Subscriber: * silence *
Me: You will receive your ticket to your email, thanks for calling!
Subscriber: * click *
via
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/116332/
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