If programming languages were women
Whether spring, or the mention of the week of women on Habré made me think about what kind of women would be programming languages. A search on this topic gave a couple of obviously outdated articles, and I decided to write my own. Please accept with humor and not accuse of chauvinism - I, you know, and she herself is not a man :-)
PS I came up with far from all the languages I know - disclosing topics for the missing ones is welcome.
Prolog
Dream woman: doing whatever you want. Unfortunately, sometimes a description of what you want takes longer than an explanation of how to do it.
')
BASIC
Hot divorce; specializes in seducing adolescents, and very many get their first experience with her. The opinions of adults about her are divided - some remember her with tenderness, others - condemn her bad influence on young minds.
APL
It seems the Chinese woman. Or Japanese? In any case, he writes only with hieroglyphs. The language barrier is overcome by few.
J
Daughter of APL and American. Her father taught her to use the Latin alphabet, but maternal upbringing makes itself felt, so it’s impossible to communicate in normal English with her anyway.
SQL
Economic and neat, but with a strong inferiority complex. Because of this, many things that are natural to others, refuses to do or does in a very strange way.
TeX
Mature typist Donald Knuth, in the evenings working as part of the layout of other authors' books. So intimate with her typewriter that most people simply do not notice that she is also a woman.
Scratch
Great babysitter for kids, loves animals. However, if you get to know her closer, she is no worse than others - well, except that she dresses too brightly.
Brainfuck
Pornstar: everyone saw her or at least heard about her, everyone knows that having sex with her is simply amazing, but in reality few have sex with her. By the way, this is really amazing :-) Very elegant, stutters a little.
Brainloller
Deaf twin sister Brainfuck; I have to deal with her pictures , so my sister's career did not repeat.
F * ckF * ck
Another twin sister is Brainfuck; he does not swear at obscenities, but talks, although sometimes he remembers propriety and tries to use consonant words.
Pi
Slightly obsessed with math; knows the astronomical number of digits of Pi and requires the same from the partner.
FP
The theoretical description of a woman created by a man in the days when women just started to invent. Leaves a lot of space for free treatment; Some modern women try to match, but it turns out they have very different ways.
Hanoi love
She loves riddles and all applicants for a hand and heart require a thorough knowledge of the task of the Hanoi towers. Not everyone shares her love for riddles, so almost no one meets her.
HQ9 +
Completely unadapted to life; I can only say hello, twitter about myself and about beer - and this is all mixed up. No, somewhere deep inside she thinks about something, but you will never know.
INTERCAL
An elderly woman, unfriendly, but not by malicious intent, but because of education. Communication with her requires tremendous intellectual effort. In the form of an order, it requires politeness from partners, but gets angry if they are too soft. Writes numbers only in roman numerals (perhaps because of age).
Omgrofl
All time hangs in chat rooms, therefore speaks exclusively slang. Laughs a lot. Sometimes she catches herself and tries to behave in an adult way, but it turns out not very.
Piet
Abstractionist artist. Good, but living with it requires a subtle perception of the beautiful; many can not cope.
Whitespace
Very secretive, a fighter for equality for all. Actually, most people don't know anything more about it.
Shakespeare
Communicates exclusively in the language of the great bard; to just get to know her, you have to write a small play. About more scary and think.
Chef
Her whole life revolves around cooking; a person who cannot cook does not shine anything with it.
CPL
The only occupation of this girl is to comment on everything that happens around.
Malbolge
Artificial Intelligence. To communicate with her, you have to use translation software that works so long that any message has become obsolete.
COW , Ook!
Options for bestiality. I do not advise.
PPS For those who have not found their favorite language, once again: there is no purposeful discrimination of languages, just some I can not imagine in the form of women. If you have such an image - share, and angrily list the missing languages do not need :-)
PS I came up with far from all the languages I know - disclosing topics for the missing ones is welcome.
Prolog
Dream woman: doing whatever you want. Unfortunately, sometimes a description of what you want takes longer than an explanation of how to do it.
')
BASIC
Hot divorce; specializes in seducing adolescents, and very many get their first experience with her. The opinions of adults about her are divided - some remember her with tenderness, others - condemn her bad influence on young minds.
APL
It seems the Chinese woman. Or Japanese? In any case, he writes only with hieroglyphs. The language barrier is overcome by few.
J
Daughter of APL and American. Her father taught her to use the Latin alphabet, but maternal upbringing makes itself felt, so it’s impossible to communicate in normal English with her anyway.
SQL
Economic and neat, but with a strong inferiority complex. Because of this, many things that are natural to others, refuses to do or does in a very strange way.
TeX
Mature typist Donald Knuth, in the evenings working as part of the layout of other authors' books. So intimate with her typewriter that most people simply do not notice that she is also a woman.
Scratch
Great babysitter for kids, loves animals. However, if you get to know her closer, she is no worse than others - well, except that she dresses too brightly.
Brainfuck
Pornstar: everyone saw her or at least heard about her, everyone knows that having sex with her is simply amazing, but in reality few have sex with her. By the way, this is really amazing :-) Very elegant, stutters a little.
Brainloller
Deaf twin sister Brainfuck; I have to deal with her pictures , so my sister's career did not repeat.
F * ckF * ck
Another twin sister is Brainfuck; he does not swear at obscenities, but talks, although sometimes he remembers propriety and tries to use consonant words.
Pi
Slightly obsessed with math; knows the astronomical number of digits of Pi and requires the same from the partner.
FP
The theoretical description of a woman created by a man in the days when women just started to invent. Leaves a lot of space for free treatment; Some modern women try to match, but it turns out they have very different ways.
Hanoi love
She loves riddles and all applicants for a hand and heart require a thorough knowledge of the task of the Hanoi towers. Not everyone shares her love for riddles, so almost no one meets her.
HQ9 +
Completely unadapted to life; I can only say hello, twitter about myself and about beer - and this is all mixed up. No, somewhere deep inside she thinks about something, but you will never know.
INTERCAL
An elderly woman, unfriendly, but not by malicious intent, but because of education. Communication with her requires tremendous intellectual effort. In the form of an order, it requires politeness from partners, but gets angry if they are too soft. Writes numbers only in roman numerals (perhaps because of age).
Omgrofl
All time hangs in chat rooms, therefore speaks exclusively slang. Laughs a lot. Sometimes she catches herself and tries to behave in an adult way, but it turns out not very.
Piet
Abstractionist artist. Good, but living with it requires a subtle perception of the beautiful; many can not cope.
Whitespace
Very secretive, a fighter for equality for all. Actually, most people don't know anything more about it.
Shakespeare
Communicates exclusively in the language of the great bard; to just get to know her, you have to write a small play. About more scary and think.
Chef
Her whole life revolves around cooking; a person who cannot cook does not shine anything with it.
CPL
The only occupation of this girl is to comment on everything that happens around.
Malbolge
Artificial Intelligence. To communicate with her, you have to use translation software that works so long that any message has become obsolete.
COW , Ook!
Options for bestiality. I do not advise.
PPS For those who have not found their favorite language, once again: there is no purposeful discrimination of languages, just some I can not imagine in the form of women. If you have such an image - share, and angrily list the missing languages do not need :-)
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/114760/
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