Learning to negotiate with the FBI and VitalSmarts

  "In every man's life
 there comes a moment
 when he is vomiting ... "
 (from the movie "Hello, I am your aunt") 

In the life of many IT people, there comes a moment when their bright minds visit the idea of ​​starting a business. ITs are logical creatures; and logic tells them: to work for an uncle or aunt over time becomes unprofitable and unpromising. "I will create ... say, a web studio," he says to himself.

Having got through the bureaucratic jungle, our computer genius opened a company, created and promoted his website, took a couple of orders ... and his enthusiasm diminished somewhat. Because a new character appeared on the scene - His Highness the Client. The one about which ClientsFromHell, Zadolba.li and so on.
')
ITishnik is the smartest person. In technical matters, and not only - a real pro. But he simply could not learn something — namely, to negotiate. And when? He spent almost his entire life among more or less close people - families, classmates, classmates, colleagues. Those who, willy-nilly, had to accept it as it is. He did not have to extract a discount, bluff with competitors, press suppliers and anoint customers.

I will talk about two books that will be a good help for a young entrepreneur. They are devoted to the art of negotiation in critical situations.

Another popular psychology, “take a deep breath and think about eternity”? No! Both books were written by professional negotiators: the author is the first to train the FBI's anti-terrorism units , the authors of the second specialize in critical business negotiations .



So, two tutorials:
Mark Goulston - “I hear you through” (in the original - “Just Listen”).
Paterson, Granny, Macmillan - "There is a serious conversation."

In fact, these are textbooks - with theory, examples of its application (as it is fashionable to say, “cases”) and tasks that can be performed. I would not call them easy reading, for some chapters I had to draw a mind-map in order to understand all the particulars. But it was worth it. I have already tried some tricks in my life and am very pleased with the result: I didn’t quarrel with one close person, came to a consensus with another, stranger, but important.

In this case, the authors did not advise me of something that I did not know before (in theory). "Do not rush to fight", "decide what you need - to win this argument or the whole thing," "put yourself in his place" ... But they explained how to do it. Where can the dispute go. How to turn it into a dialogue. And - what I liked especially - with whom he should not be led under any circumstances.

Of course, the “IT specialist”, which I mentioned at the beginning, is an exaggerated essence, in real life we ​​all have to negotiate, argue, and quarrel. And it will be more useful to learn how to do this without serious consequences and mutually beneficial.

To decide whether these books are necessary for you personally, a few lines below I will give links to their pages on the website of the publishing house Mann, Ivanov and Ferber — there you can read selected excerpts from them.

"I hear you through" Goulston on the website of the publishing house "MIF"
“There is a serious conversation” by Paterson, Granny and Macmillan on the website of the publishing house “MIF”

The reviews on Sergey Korol's "... Through" - a short one on Lifehacker and a detailed summar on a personal blog .

Mark Goulston website
The site of the company "VitalSmarts"