If site designers were marriage agents
You are a prosperous person, everything is fine with you, business is rushing uphill, you have perfectly established your own life. Your friends and colleagues rightly consider you smart, capable, successful and efficient. And then one day you decide to start a family. Before that you had different relationships, regular friends, but at the moment you are alone. You are a man who has seen a lot, and quite clearly imagine what women would definitely not get along with. But what should be the only one with which you want to connect life - is not too clear. However, you have the time and money to find, and you turn to specialists.
Student hustler
Rolls out the price below the market in two or even three. There is no question of any prepayment. No presentations and portfolios - all on parole. Guarantees, respectively, does not. “It works” as follows: the whole term writes coursework, drinks beer with friends, at the moments of meetings it suddenly “falls ill”, it “flies a hard disk” or some family troubles happen. A couple of days before handing over, he feverishly searches among his girlfriends more or less suitable for your vague description, not very skillfully, but diligently puts on and paints her, in a hurry teaches what to say and sends to you.
Low paid designer
Shows a good portfolio. He says that there will be three girls. For each subsequent will have to pay extra separately. It requires a small advance and begins to work. Pretty quickly presents the first options. You generally like it, but not really. In the end, you stop at one, quite sweet and interesting, but on some birthday you will accidentally find out that this is the former wife of one of your business partners.
Highly paid designer
Comes to a meeting with a beautiful album full of photos of successful marriages. He assures that this is entirely his merit, all customers have always been satisfied. The cost is twice as high as the market, but the quality is worth it, he said. He declares that he will not start working until he receives half the fee.
Designer with artistic inclinations
I am sure that girls are needed exclusively for sex. Offers a choice of several with the appearance of porn stars, on the other aspects of attention does not pay at all. When you hint that this is not what you need, he accuses you of lack of taste and says that anyone else will tear them away with his hands.
Novice Studio
He takes an advance, buys wholesale of 20 cheapest prostitutes for him, paints with crappy cosmetics and shows one at an interval of one week. After the exhaustion of funds, he declares that he has fulfilled his obligations, and demands the rest of the fee.
Experienced Studio
She selects three or four completely different girls, beautifully dresses, prepares each interesting biography. Shows in order "from worst to best", the last option - a stunning beauty girl with a gold tooth. Naturally, you say that everything is fine, but here is a tooth ... The performer, having broken, agrees to replace it with ceramics. The tooth, of course, fake and retracts in seconds.
Broken studio life
He says that without a detailed assignment will not work. Required to provide all the anthropometric characteristics, wishes on the nature, name, blood type, zodiac sign, hair and eye color. Accurately fulfills all the requirements, to the comments that you don’t know exactly or didn’t even think about it, responds in the spirit of “well, you decide what you need, because there’s not much time, and we don’t know how to read your thoughts.” As a result of all this, you decide to do differently: say that you want someone like Ninka from the twenty-sixth apartment. The studio is silent for a long time, after which it offers Lyuska from thirty-seventh, who resembles Ninka only externally, and the rest - the complete opposite. You understand that it is easier for you to negotiate with Ninka on your own than to pay these comrades as a matter of fact it is not known for what.
Usability studio
First of all, with prosecutorial meticulousness, he finds out why you even wanted to marry. He knows everything about you: how many times a day you eat, what kind of music you prefer, what mode of the day you have. As a result, he claims that you need a dwarf woman with a square head, so that it would be convenient to put a mug of beer.
Studio "design bureau"
Examines your personality in detail. Makes you take a test for temperament, spots Rorschach, MMPI, "House, tree, man," Eysenk and a half dozen others. According to the test results, it is encouraging that you are a latent homosexual, and you don’t need a woman in principle.
Studio L.
He adds a staff member to you who has been researching your life for half a year. After the employee returns to the Studio, a couple of months make up a perfectly designed and thoughtful commercial proposal. After reviewing the price, you decide to score on the search and buy Maybach, and go on surrender to the Cote d'Azur. And there the girls themselves will run.
Student hustler
Rolls out the price below the market in two or even three. There is no question of any prepayment. No presentations and portfolios - all on parole. Guarantees, respectively, does not. “It works” as follows: the whole term writes coursework, drinks beer with friends, at the moments of meetings it suddenly “falls ill”, it “flies a hard disk” or some family troubles happen. A couple of days before handing over, he feverishly searches among his girlfriends more or less suitable for your vague description, not very skillfully, but diligently puts on and paints her, in a hurry teaches what to say and sends to you.
Low paid designer
Shows a good portfolio. He says that there will be three girls. For each subsequent will have to pay extra separately. It requires a small advance and begins to work. Pretty quickly presents the first options. You generally like it, but not really. In the end, you stop at one, quite sweet and interesting, but on some birthday you will accidentally find out that this is the former wife of one of your business partners.
Highly paid designer
Comes to a meeting with a beautiful album full of photos of successful marriages. He assures that this is entirely his merit, all customers have always been satisfied. The cost is twice as high as the market, but the quality is worth it, he said. He declares that he will not start working until he receives half the fee.
Designer with artistic inclinations
I am sure that girls are needed exclusively for sex. Offers a choice of several with the appearance of porn stars, on the other aspects of attention does not pay at all. When you hint that this is not what you need, he accuses you of lack of taste and says that anyone else will tear them away with his hands.
Novice Studio
He takes an advance, buys wholesale of 20 cheapest prostitutes for him, paints with crappy cosmetics and shows one at an interval of one week. After the exhaustion of funds, he declares that he has fulfilled his obligations, and demands the rest of the fee.
Experienced Studio
She selects three or four completely different girls, beautifully dresses, prepares each interesting biography. Shows in order "from worst to best", the last option - a stunning beauty girl with a gold tooth. Naturally, you say that everything is fine, but here is a tooth ... The performer, having broken, agrees to replace it with ceramics. The tooth, of course, fake and retracts in seconds.
Broken studio life
He says that without a detailed assignment will not work. Required to provide all the anthropometric characteristics, wishes on the nature, name, blood type, zodiac sign, hair and eye color. Accurately fulfills all the requirements, to the comments that you don’t know exactly or didn’t even think about it, responds in the spirit of “well, you decide what you need, because there’s not much time, and we don’t know how to read your thoughts.” As a result of all this, you decide to do differently: say that you want someone like Ninka from the twenty-sixth apartment. The studio is silent for a long time, after which it offers Lyuska from thirty-seventh, who resembles Ninka only externally, and the rest - the complete opposite. You understand that it is easier for you to negotiate with Ninka on your own than to pay these comrades as a matter of fact it is not known for what.
Usability studio
First of all, with prosecutorial meticulousness, he finds out why you even wanted to marry. He knows everything about you: how many times a day you eat, what kind of music you prefer, what mode of the day you have. As a result, he claims that you need a dwarf woman with a square head, so that it would be convenient to put a mug of beer.
Studio "design bureau"
Examines your personality in detail. Makes you take a test for temperament, spots Rorschach, MMPI, "House, tree, man," Eysenk and a half dozen others. According to the test results, it is encouraging that you are a latent homosexual, and you don’t need a woman in principle.
Studio L.
He adds a staff member to you who has been researching your life for half a year. After the employee returns to the Studio, a couple of months make up a perfectly designed and thoughtful commercial proposal. After reviewing the price, you decide to score on the search and buy Maybach, and go on surrender to the Cote d'Azur. And there the girls themselves will run.
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Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/113152/
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