Products phantoms (Vaporware) for 11 years. Article Two - 2000-2001
This is the second article in the translation series of the annual Vaporware series from the Wired site, this time in 2000 and 2001. Since there are several articles included here, a link after the topic will point to an article about 2010, at the end of which there are links to all years.
In view of the slightly diluted style of the originals, I lowered or cut down some of the places, especially the frequently repeated games (hello to Duke). However, what I translated, I tried to translate as close as possible to the meaning of the original. I also remind you that the list was compiled on the basis of readers' letters, it primarily reflects the expectations and wishes of IT people, the spirit of that time.
2000
So, the year “000” has passed, and many products promised to us have remained on paper, more precisely, on our monitors.
The list again did not include products that still fell into our hands, even if they were left to suck. Netscape 6 may have crushed all our dreams, but it did come out. As well as the Playstation 2 - let you not get it, some wealthy individuals are lucky.
10. Tribes 2. Sierra Studios 18 months ago promised us "team battles on an epic scale," and since then the game has regularly flashed in the gaming press. With the release date "Wait in speed".
"It seems that they have a basement with hamsters drawing screenshots, and the rest of the development team have been sent home a long time ago," said Maria Smith.
09. Wireless Internet Tablets. They still cannot be found during the day with fire, even verses are written about it:
"I want one on the fridge, alone in my den,
I want to stretch my legs with a tablet under my arm.
Wired network, the old woman - she at lunch 100 years,
Remember comrade, Claudia is a fool, well done - a tablet. ”
Philip Cosler.
')
08. Bluetooth. The heightening of expectations for Bluetooth, the new short-range wireless protocol, has reached its peak this year. A bunch of companies showed us their Bluetooth products on numerous trade shows. But we have not yet managed to find at least one on the shelves of the stores.
“Bluetooth gadgets were waiting in stores for Christmas 2000,” said Jeff Osborne. - So where?".
“Bluetooth technology seems to be in development since 1994,” writes Ghad Gruka. - I thought it would be finished in less than 6 years. No, seriously, during this time almost 4 generations of Intel computer chips have changed. For the development of communication technology at short distances, even 4 years should be enough for the eyes. "
07. Silicon Film's Electronic Film System . This company, formerly known as “Imagek”, attracted a lot of attention in the media with its Electronic Photographic System, a new-fashioned device that turns ordinary film cameras into digital ones. They even wrote about them in «BusinessWeek», only to buy them will not work.
Translator's note - a search on the Internet showed that it was supposed to be a device that is identical in format to the film coil and inserted into the corresponding compartment of any soap box. Nothing happened.
“Imagek ​​promises us its digital photographic film system for more than three years, but so far it is only turning up the release date counter on its website,” writes Brooke Adam. - Phantom? Rather, just a myth. Imagek ​​is aptly named, their main business is Imagination (fantasy, imagination). ”
06. Warcraft 3. Blizzard is something too much delayed with the continuation of its game Warcraft 2.
"My vote for phantom products this year is sent ... (drum roll) ... to the game of Warcraft 3, never created by Blizzard Studios," writes Steve McCohen. - They have been developing the sequel of their game for many years, but we are still playing only “teasers”, still far from the box with the finished product. Guys, stop showing us the “development”, the fans are already starting to get angry. ”
05. Intel Itanium Chips. Two years ago, Intel told us that by the summer of 2000 we will have new, powerful, 64-bit chips for user machines and servers. But the delivery date for Itanium (also known as IA-64 and Merced) swam away from us so confidently that the publication “Register” called them “Itanik.”
“I’ve heard about them since 1997, but it looks like we will see a new Amiga earlier than these chips,” said Nathan Vols.
04. New Linux Kernel. Linus Torvalds promised us version 2.4 by December. Where is she? Well…
“The biggest phantom of 2000 is the Linux 2.4 kernel,” writes Sean Wallbridge. - I love Linux, but we have heard from them “Soon, soon” for a very long time.
03. Black and White. Lionhead Studios won this year's award for the “Best Game Show E3” for its fancy god simulator from renowned designer Peter Molenuks. Crowds of fans, drooling at her on E3, promised a miracle by the end of the year, but the game, already several years overdue, did not descend on them in the 2000th.
“I developed a simple form for calculating the B & W release date,” writes Haydn Schulz. - Release date = today's date + 3 months.
02. Duke Nukem Forever. 3Drealms began working on it in 1997, setting the release date to January 1998. Needless to say, that he still did not come out. Officially, the release date is now "as soon as it is ready," according to the company's website.
01. Mac OS X. Last year, the champion was Microsoft Windows 2000, all postponed update windows. This year, the crown is being transferred to Apple for Mac OS X, the entire postponed update macos.
M. Kaiser said that the endless expectation of Apple’s “decent OS” had forced him to go to the dark side.
"I was so tired of waiting ... I became a fan of a PC fan of a Mac," he writes. “Now I even like Bill Gates ... Horror.”
True, Michael Boek, a Windows user, said that he would gladly "throw off the chains of dependence on Microsoft."
“OS X seems to allow me to do this,” he writes, “unless of course she is ever released.” And if until that time, Apple did not go bankrupt on stupid Cube products. ”
“I will not find the words to express how I am waiting for her,” writes Jason Tibbitts. “But she's still not.”
year 2001
10. Inderma . These guys called themselves killers of corporate hippos and promised to release an open console capable of defeating Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo . Translator’s note - Hippopotamus in this context is a biblical monster that is closest to the unit from Heroes of Sword and Magic 3 . True, all the available information tells us that this company has released in its life only a couple of worthless press releases.
“If only they had torn off their backs from the sofas and made this damn thing, instead of drawing 3D renderings and fantasizing about the SDK,” says our reader Tim Toner, who had high hopes for the console, “they would already have a network of fanatical developers frightening big market players. ” However, these biggest players last year felt pretty good in the gaming market, but Inderma died quietly.
9. Peekabooty. While governments are gradually squeezing their grip on cyberspace - it's time for us to get Peekabooty, enthusiasts would fight. It was supposed to be a network tool with “anti-censored” functionality, promised last year, but never released by a group of hackers - privacy enthusiasts “Cult of the Dead Cow” (CoDC).
8. Artificial Intelligence. It seems like by 2001 we should already have talking, thinking, “living” computers?
So far we have received the Spielberg film, but even if there were robots there, it still does not count. Jimmy Sengerman commented on the lack of “real progress” at Cyc, a very long-standing project led by Douglas Lenat. To be honest, that “Cyc” is not really a phantom - for example, some of its achievements are used in network tools. “But I’m not a system administrator,” said Senjermen, “I just wanted to see something awesome.”
A good argument. So where are our robots?
7. Digiscents iSmell. The digital age of Smell-O-Vision began on the cover of our magazine. “This is the smell!” - the headlines sounded, but even that was not enough to make the cool idea a reality. Translator's note. Smell-O-Vision - a system that produced in the cinema a variety of flavors in support of the film. It was used only for 1 film in 1960, but it became quite known as a concept .
The main product of the company, which never entered the market, was called iSmell, and was to become the first personal personal synthesizer of household fragrances. The company's press secretary assured us that he would be plugged into a computer, just like speakers, but instead of the sound of explosions, he would give out their smoke.
There were even working prototype devices at trade shows and shows for the press to convince us of the existence of technology. But in April, Digiscents started having cash problems and the company's doors closed. “I know that the damn thing worked: the prototype was on my desk,” said John Hayes, one of the readers who suggested iSmell be added to the list. - That is why I take such a nuisance. Because of their unsuccessful attempt, this technology will move away from us for another few years. ”
6. Silicon Film's Electronic Film System . There were still hopes, but since 2000 nothing has changed in general.
5. 3G networks. Unless you are one of these mega-businessmen in Tokyo, most likely you have heard about third-generation mobile networks, but you have never had a chance to try them. For many years, operators have been saying the same thing, they say, high-speed data transfer complete with video and audio right on your phone is already looming behind the next legislative and technical angle. But Carlos Solvestrini writes to us: “For the time being I cannot even find for myself a device with the support of the third generation of communication, and not that the company that would serve it. It seems like a grandiose “mobile revolution” is taking place now, but if there are no telephones or a network for a test anywhere, does it really happen? ”
4. Team Fortress 2 . Valve Software for a couple of years promises us this breakthrough multiplayer game. The company's website describes it as a “mixture of role-playing action and combat partnership, as in classic war movies,” but many readers doubt that development is generally underway.
“It was one of the first shooters to risk getting off the beaten track,” writes Mike Parker. “Unfortunately, after turning, he disappeared into the bushes, and we never saw him again.”
3. Photoshop for OS X. Apple's new operating system is a great thing, but the company probably would have collected more praise from fans if they could finally put photoshop on it.
Rumor has it that at least the beta version we will see in the next couple of months, but this answer clearly did not suit those who wish on their new Mac today to play photoshop tennis. Translator's note. Photoshop tennis is an analogue of photojabs, only the changes in the pictures are accumulative, that is, you are not the original toad, but the picture of the previous player is hobbling.
“Money in the morning, chairs in the evening! - says Julia Macklin. “I suggest this: Let bookkeeping from Cupertino (Apple's headquarters in California) arm itself with pitchforks and torches, and arrive at Adobe's gate in San Jose, demanding bread and photoshop, or else sales will suffer.”
2. Warcraft III. Some fans of the series already perceive Blizzard's actions as a personal insult, for example, Taj Kelly writes to us: “Never before have so many hopes broken about the slowness of such a small group of people.” Last year he said the same thing, and since then Warcraft III has not become less phantom. When asked to comment on this fact, the press secretary of Blizzard said that delays "are the typical style of the company," because they want to make sure that the game meets their personal standards.
1. The king, or rather the duke of phantoms in 2001 was ... Duke Nukem Forever. There is no particular sense in translating this item, I’ll just write that in this cycle you will hear about it more than once. The guys from Wired even joked about the script that would add it to the list automatically.
In 2001, an inscription appeared on the website of the 3-D Realms company, which some even remember from gaming magazines. “There is no date. We don't know any date. If you have some information, there is no need for a game, there is no need for information, They are making it up. There is no date. Period. "" There is no date. We do not know her. If you have a friend with “insider information,” or a gaming site, or a store around the corner where they “know,” they don’t know. They drive. There is no date. Point."
Holger Kleinsorgen suggested that in the future the expression “after a rain on Thursday” will be replaced by “after the release of Duke Nukem Forever”, and Denis Murphy is glad that at least in something his grandchildren will understand him - they are also waiting for Duke.
P.S. Today announced a new release date for Duke - May 3 this year.
In view of the slightly diluted style of the originals, I lowered or cut down some of the places, especially the frequently repeated games (hello to Duke). However, what I translated, I tried to translate as close as possible to the meaning of the original. I also remind you that the list was compiled on the basis of readers' letters, it primarily reflects the expectations and wishes of IT people, the spirit of that time.
2000
So, the year “000” has passed, and many products promised to us have remained on paper, more precisely, on our monitors.
The list again did not include products that still fell into our hands, even if they were left to suck. Netscape 6 may have crushed all our dreams, but it did come out. As well as the Playstation 2 - let you not get it, some wealthy individuals are lucky.
10. Tribes 2. Sierra Studios 18 months ago promised us "team battles on an epic scale," and since then the game has regularly flashed in the gaming press. With the release date "Wait in speed".
"It seems that they have a basement with hamsters drawing screenshots, and the rest of the development team have been sent home a long time ago," said Maria Smith.
09. Wireless Internet Tablets. They still cannot be found during the day with fire, even verses are written about it:
"I want one on the fridge, alone in my den,
I want to stretch my legs with a tablet under my arm.
Wired network, the old woman - she at lunch 100 years,
Remember comrade, Claudia is a fool, well done - a tablet. ”
Philip Cosler.
')
08. Bluetooth. The heightening of expectations for Bluetooth, the new short-range wireless protocol, has reached its peak this year. A bunch of companies showed us their Bluetooth products on numerous trade shows. But we have not yet managed to find at least one on the shelves of the stores.
“Bluetooth gadgets were waiting in stores for Christmas 2000,” said Jeff Osborne. - So where?".
“Bluetooth technology seems to be in development since 1994,” writes Ghad Gruka. - I thought it would be finished in less than 6 years. No, seriously, during this time almost 4 generations of Intel computer chips have changed. For the development of communication technology at short distances, even 4 years should be enough for the eyes. "
07. Silicon Film's Electronic Film System . This company, formerly known as “Imagek”, attracted a lot of attention in the media with its Electronic Photographic System, a new-fashioned device that turns ordinary film cameras into digital ones. They even wrote about them in «BusinessWeek», only to buy them will not work.
Translator's note - a search on the Internet showed that it was supposed to be a device that is identical in format to the film coil and inserted into the corresponding compartment of any soap box. Nothing happened.
“Imagek ​​promises us its digital photographic film system for more than three years, but so far it is only turning up the release date counter on its website,” writes Brooke Adam. - Phantom? Rather, just a myth. Imagek ​​is aptly named, their main business is Imagination (fantasy, imagination). ”
06. Warcraft 3. Blizzard is something too much delayed with the continuation of its game Warcraft 2.
"My vote for phantom products this year is sent ... (drum roll) ... to the game of Warcraft 3, never created by Blizzard Studios," writes Steve McCohen. - They have been developing the sequel of their game for many years, but we are still playing only “teasers”, still far from the box with the finished product. Guys, stop showing us the “development”, the fans are already starting to get angry. ”
05. Intel Itanium Chips. Two years ago, Intel told us that by the summer of 2000 we will have new, powerful, 64-bit chips for user machines and servers. But the delivery date for Itanium (also known as IA-64 and Merced) swam away from us so confidently that the publication “Register” called them “Itanik.”
“I’ve heard about them since 1997, but it looks like we will see a new Amiga earlier than these chips,” said Nathan Vols.
04. New Linux Kernel. Linus Torvalds promised us version 2.4 by December. Where is she? Well…
“The biggest phantom of 2000 is the Linux 2.4 kernel,” writes Sean Wallbridge. - I love Linux, but we have heard from them “Soon, soon” for a very long time.
03. Black and White. Lionhead Studios won this year's award for the “Best Game Show E3” for its fancy god simulator from renowned designer Peter Molenuks. Crowds of fans, drooling at her on E3, promised a miracle by the end of the year, but the game, already several years overdue, did not descend on them in the 2000th.
“I developed a simple form for calculating the B & W release date,” writes Haydn Schulz. - Release date = today's date + 3 months.
02. Duke Nukem Forever. 3Drealms began working on it in 1997, setting the release date to January 1998. Needless to say, that he still did not come out. Officially, the release date is now "as soon as it is ready," according to the company's website.
01. Mac OS X. Last year, the champion was Microsoft Windows 2000, all postponed update windows. This year, the crown is being transferred to Apple for Mac OS X, the entire postponed update macos.
M. Kaiser said that the endless expectation of Apple’s “decent OS” had forced him to go to the dark side.
"I was so tired of waiting ... I became a fan of a PC fan of a Mac," he writes. “Now I even like Bill Gates ... Horror.”
True, Michael Boek, a Windows user, said that he would gladly "throw off the chains of dependence on Microsoft."
“OS X seems to allow me to do this,” he writes, “unless of course she is ever released.” And if until that time, Apple did not go bankrupt on stupid Cube products. ”
“I will not find the words to express how I am waiting for her,” writes Jason Tibbitts. “But she's still not.”
year 2001
10. Inderma . These guys called themselves killers of corporate hippos and promised to release an open console capable of defeating Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo . Translator’s note - Hippopotamus in this context is a biblical monster that is closest to the unit from Heroes of Sword and Magic 3 . True, all the available information tells us that this company has released in its life only a couple of worthless press releases.
“If only they had torn off their backs from the sofas and made this damn thing, instead of drawing 3D renderings and fantasizing about the SDK,” says our reader Tim Toner, who had high hopes for the console, “they would already have a network of fanatical developers frightening big market players. ” However, these biggest players last year felt pretty good in the gaming market, but Inderma died quietly.
9. Peekabooty. While governments are gradually squeezing their grip on cyberspace - it's time for us to get Peekabooty, enthusiasts would fight. It was supposed to be a network tool with “anti-censored” functionality, promised last year, but never released by a group of hackers - privacy enthusiasts “Cult of the Dead Cow” (CoDC).
8. Artificial Intelligence. It seems like by 2001 we should already have talking, thinking, “living” computers?
So far we have received the Spielberg film, but even if there were robots there, it still does not count. Jimmy Sengerman commented on the lack of “real progress” at Cyc, a very long-standing project led by Douglas Lenat. To be honest, that “Cyc” is not really a phantom - for example, some of its achievements are used in network tools. “But I’m not a system administrator,” said Senjermen, “I just wanted to see something awesome.”
A good argument. So where are our robots?
7. Digiscents iSmell. The digital age of Smell-O-Vision began on the cover of our magazine. “This is the smell!” - the headlines sounded, but even that was not enough to make the cool idea a reality. Translator's note. Smell-O-Vision - a system that produced in the cinema a variety of flavors in support of the film. It was used only for 1 film in 1960, but it became quite known as a concept .
The main product of the company, which never entered the market, was called iSmell, and was to become the first personal personal synthesizer of household fragrances. The company's press secretary assured us that he would be plugged into a computer, just like speakers, but instead of the sound of explosions, he would give out their smoke.
There were even working prototype devices at trade shows and shows for the press to convince us of the existence of technology. But in April, Digiscents started having cash problems and the company's doors closed. “I know that the damn thing worked: the prototype was on my desk,” said John Hayes, one of the readers who suggested iSmell be added to the list. - That is why I take such a nuisance. Because of their unsuccessful attempt, this technology will move away from us for another few years. ”
6. Silicon Film's Electronic Film System . There were still hopes, but since 2000 nothing has changed in general.
5. 3G networks. Unless you are one of these mega-businessmen in Tokyo, most likely you have heard about third-generation mobile networks, but you have never had a chance to try them. For many years, operators have been saying the same thing, they say, high-speed data transfer complete with video and audio right on your phone is already looming behind the next legislative and technical angle. But Carlos Solvestrini writes to us: “For the time being I cannot even find for myself a device with the support of the third generation of communication, and not that the company that would serve it. It seems like a grandiose “mobile revolution” is taking place now, but if there are no telephones or a network for a test anywhere, does it really happen? ”
4. Team Fortress 2 . Valve Software for a couple of years promises us this breakthrough multiplayer game. The company's website describes it as a “mixture of role-playing action and combat partnership, as in classic war movies,” but many readers doubt that development is generally underway.
“It was one of the first shooters to risk getting off the beaten track,” writes Mike Parker. “Unfortunately, after turning, he disappeared into the bushes, and we never saw him again.”
3. Photoshop for OS X. Apple's new operating system is a great thing, but the company probably would have collected more praise from fans if they could finally put photoshop on it.
Rumor has it that at least the beta version we will see in the next couple of months, but this answer clearly did not suit those who wish on their new Mac today to play photoshop tennis. Translator's note. Photoshop tennis is an analogue of photojabs, only the changes in the pictures are accumulative, that is, you are not the original toad, but the picture of the previous player is hobbling.
“Money in the morning, chairs in the evening! - says Julia Macklin. “I suggest this: Let bookkeeping from Cupertino (Apple's headquarters in California) arm itself with pitchforks and torches, and arrive at Adobe's gate in San Jose, demanding bread and photoshop, or else sales will suffer.”
2. Warcraft III. Some fans of the series already perceive Blizzard's actions as a personal insult, for example, Taj Kelly writes to us: “Never before have so many hopes broken about the slowness of such a small group of people.” Last year he said the same thing, and since then Warcraft III has not become less phantom. When asked to comment on this fact, the press secretary of Blizzard said that delays "are the typical style of the company," because they want to make sure that the game meets their personal standards.
1. The king, or rather the duke of phantoms in 2001 was ... Duke Nukem Forever. There is no particular sense in translating this item, I’ll just write that in this cycle you will hear about it more than once. The guys from Wired even joked about the script that would add it to the list automatically.
In 2001, an inscription appeared on the website of the 3-D Realms company, which some even remember from gaming magazines. “There is no date. We don't know any date. If you have some information, there is no need for a game, there is no need for information, They are making it up. There is no date. Period. "" There is no date. We do not know her. If you have a friend with “insider information,” or a gaming site, or a store around the corner where they “know,” they don’t know. They drive. There is no date. Point."
Holger Kleinsorgen suggested that in the future the expression “after a rain on Thursday” will be replaced by “after the release of Duke Nukem Forever”, and Denis Murphy is glad that at least in something his grandchildren will understand him - they are also waiting for Duke.
P.S. Today announced a new release date for Duke - May 3 this year.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/112339/
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