And may Haskell come ...

It's strange that it occurred to me - I just looked at Common Lisp and an explanation of the principles of its work, well, a little more on the Haskell toolkit.

And may Haskell come ...

Haskell - she's like that girl, you know ...

You would never want to stop at it, but you dive into it from time to time, with a throbbing pain in the joints, most often at night, every few months or so. She looks so hot, so smooth, so sexy, so expressive and unusual. Coming back from her, you suddenly realize that the night ... has passed. Passed in full immersion in a hot, sweet, feverish nonsense, full of passion. You did such things with her ... you did such things with each other ... you are not even sure that these things have names, because everything happened beyond the limits of reality. Even its features have their own characteristics - and after one of these nights you realize that you yourself have more than you could imagine. And the sensations are not even physical, they are deep inside. Spiritual. Transcendental. But everything is so subtle that in the morning you find yourself enlightened, a little embarrassed, having difficulty returning to your ordinary girl.

In the next few days and weeks, you occasionally catch yourself thinking that you only think about her. Haskell. You will be there, running away in thoughts from your constant girl, thinking: "You know, if I were with Haskell now, I would have done everything in a completely different way." You think: "With her, I would have done everything much faster and better." After all, your regular girl is not as exotic as Haskell. Well, maybe even pretty, if you're lucky. (By the way, the name of your regular girl Python :) But not so - strange. Wildly. Cool. Exciting. Do not let me be mistaken - your girl, she is beautiful. You have a wonderful relationship. She is comfortable. And you can be with her all day and all night. She is easy going, you work well together. But - in secret - with her, well, a bit boring. And you catch yourself thinking about it, and you are overwhelmed with a feeling of guilt ... You should stop thinking about it and get back to work. Comfortable, comfortable ... Well, what else can I add, who knows? Comfortable ... Just keep telling it to yourself.
')
It will be months. Late at night you will find yourself again in that strange place. Perhaps it will be a bar for hackers, xs. And someone will give you a link to one of these treacherous documents, well, you know, one of these * documents. And you plunge into Haskell again. And everything else will cease to exist.

In the end, you get an ultimatum. Haskell, like any other girl, will require the fulfillment of certain obligations. Finally, after one night of wild, all-consuming, detaching passion, she will say to you: “All our dates, all this time, you didn’t understand me at all! You know, it’s time for you to become a little more serious, mister! I also have desires. And you should take your monads seriously, or this is the last time I let you play with them at all! Hooked up? "

... and then you will have to make a choice.

There are chances that you will return to your usual girlfriend. Haskell, it's too much for one man, maybe. It leaves a trail of broken destinies, crazy doctors of science and former programmers. It destroys you for the Real World. You can play around a bit, but you may never be able to go far enough with her. Go back to your usual girl and try not to think a lot about what you managed to see. Everything. Hana. The end.

Maybe you will even become a little happy, but it will be difficult. After all that was ... you tasted Haskell.

She doesn't look like anything else.

jb

This is a translation of one great Haskell sketch. I think that many have already read it in the original language. I did not find it in Russian. Maybe looking bad? :) In any case - this text is worthy to be read.